//------------------------------// // Lyra is Sorry: The Ninth Month is Noteworthy // Story: Lyra Is Crazy: Many Months Of Mommy Madness // by Masterweaver //------------------------------// "You're almost nine months pregnant, and you manage to wedge yourself under a train bench." Bonbon sighed. "You know, I'm not even surprised." "It's actually pretty spacious under here. I mean, seriously, I wouldn't want to make a room or anything but if you wanted a place to put cooking supplies--" "Lyra." The quiet that single word invoked stretched through the car, and Bonbon only belatedly realized the other passengers were all staring at them. After a moment she decided she didn't even care. "Lyra... did you really think I would be better off without you?" "...I mean... I'm... I'm a mess, and--" "You are literally the reason I decided to try living again," Bonbon reminded her gently. "Maybe you get on my nerves sometimes, sure. Maybe there's a lot of issues between us, I don't think we can deny that. But... that happens in every relationship. I don't want a perfect pony prancing through my parlor. I want the unicorn who looked at me and said I looked neat, who held me in her hooves while I cried over the child I let die, who convinced me I wasn't any less weird than she was. I want the mare who steals half my treats, who regularly curses out the Canterlot nobility, who can't tell cute from hideous to save her skin. I want the pony who thought a Las Pegasus wedding was an amazing idea, and managed to convince me with her cute pouty eyes. I want you, Lyra Heartstrings, you and... and any family you bring with you." She rolled her eyes. "Even your mom's crazy dominatrix marefriend." "Not a dominatrix," Bluebolt insisted. "It's a master-pet relationship, completely different." "Um," said the stallion sitting on the bench Lyra was hiding under. "Should I be here or... move to another seat, or something?" "...I screwed up," Lyra muttered. "I screwed up so bad didn't I." "Yep." "...you're going to be mad at me for a while aren't you." "Yep." "...and I'm going to come back anyway because I never wanted to go, really." "Yep." "...Okay. But, um." Lyra cleared her throat. "I know this is kind of asking a lot, but can you not be mad at me until we're home and I've had my pills and all?" "I can promise not to act mad," Bonbon replied. "If you get out from under there right freaking now." There was a sigh, and then some scrabbling motions, and then an awkward chuckle. Heartstrings facehooved. "You're stuck, aren't you dearie." "Maybe just a little," Lyra admitted. Bluebolt bent to look under the bench. "Yep, you're wedged pretty tight in there. Hey, mister, could you get off so I could move this thing around?" The stallion stood, awkwardly walking a bit down the aisle. "So... um..." "Don't worry, just be a minute." Bluebolt dug her wings under the cushions and flipped them out. "Huh, standard mattress and bar construction, kay. Just..." She leaned down, biting a screw, and started twisting her head. "...Yeah." Bonbon rolled her eyes. "Okay, there are so many things I could say right now." "'ot it!" the pegasus chirped, pulling her head back with a smirk. Bonbon gave a flat look at the screw in her teeth. "So many things." She turned to the bench. "Okay, Lyra, I'm going to move this bar and then you're coming out." "You know, you coming to rescue me like this is heartwarming, romantic, beguiling, so incredibly sexy--" "I already promised I wouldn't be mad at you until we got home." Bonbon maneuvered the wooden plank out of the way. "Your attempt at flattering atonement is appreciated, but also not really necessary right now." "Oh. Um." Lyra crawled out of the seat with a small blush. "Yeah, heh. Right. Still... seriously though. I am sorry. I really, really didn't think this through. Like at all." "After what I've seen, I can believe it." "Aheh heh...." Lyra gave her an awkward smile, lighting up her horn as she took the screw from Bluebolt's mouth and moved the bar back into place. "Yeah. I... did warn you though." "You did. Yes." "Soooooooooooo..." Lyra glanced around as Bluebolt put the cushions back into the bench. "The plan now is... what, exactly?" "We wait till the train stops, find Lace and Arsenic, and purchase a ticket home." "Gotcha." Lyra nodded. "Well I guess that will be--" The four of them stumbled as the train began to screech to a stop. "...right now, apparently?" Lyra looked out the window. "I don't think that we're anywhere close to Dodge Junction--" The door to the outside was shoved open, an angry stallion pointing at Bonbon. "What did I tell you?! Train thieves!" "We're not thieves," Bonbon repeated with a groan. "This is a rescue mission." "Is it really?" asked a deep, booming voice. From behind the stallion came... well, it was probably a pony, given the shape, but Bonbon hadn't realized before that ponies came in sizes larger than Bulk Biceps or Big Mac. "Yes." Bonbon pointed at Lyra. "We're saving her." "And where is the paperwork for this, ma'am?" Bonbon opened her mouth, paused, and blinked. "Um. Paperwork?" *** "....so, once again, I am really sorry about this," Lyra said. "Like, super sorry. I know I screwed up, and I am very sorry. Okay? So--" "I," said Bonbon very, very calmly, "have heard and accepted your apology." "Oh. Um. It's just... you're all being very quiet--" "We are walking," said Bonbon very, very calmly, "through the desert, in the exact opposite direction of home, in order to reach a boony town in hopes of getting a train ticket, because the way back home is across a gorge or through an untamed forest otherwise. I am trying to conserve my energy. Please forgive my silence." "Oh." Lyra nodded. "Okay. Yeah." For a few minutes, the only sound was the faint plofing of hooves against the sand as they continued their walk. "...Okay, um." Lyra cleared her throat. "So, again, this is all my fault. So, I know it's really, really stupid of me to, you know, ask for anything, alright? I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm not making any demands or requests, or complaining or anything like that. It's just, um.... I really, really need to pee." "We're in a desert, Lyra." Bonbon gestured around at the sand. "You can just pee anywhere." "I mean, um, I could, buuuut I'd really like to do it in an outhouse or a toilet or something. Cause, you know, social conditioning, plus the whole pee-could-attract-predators thing, and, uh, I don't know if this is what it's like to have water break or--" "You haven't entered labor, dear." Heartstrings rolled her eyes. "Trust me, you just need to pee." "Right. Still. It's kind of a big need and, you know, predators and all--" "At the rate we're walking, we should make it to Appleoosa in about four hours," Arsenic said dryly. "If you can't hold it for that long, then I'm sure Lace will take you over a dune." "Might I ask why me?" Lace inquired. "I'd volunteer Bonbon, but leaving her alone with Lyra will likely end with either yelling or screwing, maybe both. We don't have the time to afford that. You're the one that can bring her back fastest and most likely catch her if she tries to escape." "I'm not going to try to escape," Lyra grumbled. "As you are, no, but your moodswings are pretty intense." "Hey, Bonbon gave me my pills! You saw me take my pills! I'm fine now!" Arsenic quirked a brow. "I'm... mostly fine now!" Lyra tried. "I mean, it's a desert! Running away from a group in a desert would be suicidally stupid!" She looked around for support. None came. "...fine." Lyra's shoulders sagged. "I'll go pee with Lace as my chaperone..." *** The only light that greeted the six's arrival in Appleoosa was that of the stars and moon, the only sound a whisk of wind as the cold night air embraced them. Lace had, with a stoic face, pressed against Arsenic; Bonbon's shivers were held at bay by Lyra's own body heat. Heartstrings and Bluebolt were following the two pairs, whispering to each other in hushed tones. "...does anybody want to get something to eat?" Lyra asked. "You're hungry," Bonbon deadpanned. "I'm eating for two and I just crossed a desert. Of course I'm hungry. But, um," Lyra coughed into her hoof. "Still get that this is totally my fault. So, not complaining. Just saying, hey, maybe we should get something to eat." "I don't think any place is open," Bluebolt mused as they walked down the dark dirt road. "It is pretty close to midnight," Heartstrings pointed out. Lyra grumbled to herself. "Right..." Bonbon gave her a long look, before turning back to look over the buildings. "...There. That looks like a convenience store. Should have snacks worth eating." "But it's closed," Lyra pointed out. Bonbon rolled her eyes, lifting a hoof and shifting it to gain a series of complicated, crooked digits. "....oooooooooh." "Miss Bonbon," Arsenic pointed out in a disapproving tone, "I am a royal guard." "Me and Lace are both trained infiltrators, Bluebolt has oodles of experience with knots, and with Lyra and Heartstrings we outnumber you five to one." Bonbon shrugged. "Just say we overwhelmed you with our badassery." "Or feminine wiles," Heartstrings added. "My feminine wiles are only used on Lyra." "And he's proven remarkably resistant to mine," Lace added. Arsenic rolled his eyes. "I wasn't going to stop you. Just... conflict of interest, you know?" "We'll pay in the morning," Bonbon promised, already working on the lock. "There we go, store's open. Everypony can get two things, Lyra can get four since she's eating for two." "Sounds fair." Bluebolt glanced around. "The most filling stuff would probably be... the trail mix, which is this way?" "I have a craving for something... I'm not sure what," Lyra mused. "Something more... I don't know. Not crunchy. Cold.... I want to say, celery, but not exactly, like celery is a part of it, not the whole of it." "So... mashed potatoes and celery?" Bonbon suggested. "That's... about right, yeah." "Sorry, looks like we're fresh out of that." The changeling looked through the shelves. "We've got... I dunno... the starchy stuff here seems to be chips or other snacks." "I mean I guess I could take that--oooo, they have soursweet colorbits!" "Lyra, that's a hoof-full of candy. You need something more filling." "I know but--you know how much I love sour-sweet colorbits!" "You said they were the worst thing ever two weeks ago." "Okay, one, I was off my pills--" "And you've said it consistently since we got married." "--two, I'm pregnant and have crazy cravings--" "Which I think you exaggerate for attention." "And three, come on, it's colorbits!" Lyra levitated the tiny sack in front of Bonbon, shaking it. "Cooooolooooorbits!" Bonbon gave her a flat look. "...Am I being pushy?" Lyra put the colorbits back. "I'm being pushy. Sorry. Just... I don't know... I feel terrible for having run away and having put you through all this trouble and I also feel terrible physically because I'm heavy with foal and have these teats swinging between my legs and on top of that I'm cold and hungry and tired and I really really don't want to whine because I know it's all my fault we're in this mess but I just feel terrible so much and no this isn't the kind of terrible I feel without the pills this is ordinary terribleness so I'm not going to be angsting about it I just kinda want... you know... some sort of normalcy back?" "Well," drawled a voice from behind her, "after that, I kind of feel bad for havin' to arrest ya." Lyra blinked, turning around. A pony wearing a sheriff badge and a stocking cap was glaring at her over a thick black mustache. The rest of her companions had been... not exactly restrained by other, similarly dressed ponies, so much as simply allowing themselves to have a hoof on their back. "But ya did break into a store," he continued dryly, "and ya were planning on robbin' the place, so..." Bonbon groaned. "This is going to do wonders for changeling/pony relations, isn't it?" "Nonono this is a good thing!" Lyra assured her. "Really." "Yeah, we get shelter, a place to sleep, and I think they have to feed us." She turned to the sheriff. "You have mashed potatoes with celery, right?"