Chapter Fourteen
"Hey, shouldn't we do something about our cutie marks?" I called to Spitfire as she was about to walk out of Twilight's house.
"Like what?" Rainbow's voice called back. "We can't change them."
"I know, but won't it be really obvious that we aren't who we're trying to be?"
Spitfire came back into the room. "I have my uniform here. Since you're now my size, you could wear that."
"No, that wouldn't be a costume for Spitfire," I tried to explain my logic. "You wear it. For Rainbow Dash, it would still be a costume."
Spitfire thought for a moment. "True. What about you then?"
"Wouldn't Spitfire be the better one to ask?" I raised an eyebrow, letting out some sass.
Ruby eyes shined at me. "I am asking Spitfire."
Well, looks like she can be cheeky too. I like this mare.
"We all do."
She went on. "I haven't dressed up for Nightmare Night since I was a filly, before I joined the Bolts."
The sound of clicks on wood marked Spike walking down the stairs. "Are you guys still here? Doesn't the party start in like 20 minutes?"
"Yeah, but Spitfire just dropped into town without the forethought to bring a costume with her," Spitfire said, Rainbow's scratchy voice rolling out perfectly. "We can't show up and be the buzzkill of the party!"
Clever mare. I shrugged. "It was a spontaneous decision. I decided I'd rather party with the cool crowd than chill in my room in Cloudsdale by myself." Bam! Nailed it!
Bronze chuckled. "You just need to keep that up for the rest of the night, dude."
Oh, fuck me.
Spike shrugged and walked into the kitchen. I raised my hoof to Spitfire and she slammed it with a nice clop sound.
"Don't get too proud of yourselves. Fooling a child is easy." Twilight, despite her words, was smiling. “Everypony else will be more difficult. Especially Pinkie.”
“Consider this a successful test run then,” I put in. “Still need a costume, though.”
Twilight sighed. “I’ll be back.” She teleported with a pop, then came back a moment later, bundles of fabric of some kind in her telekinesis. She unfurled the first one.
“Oh, hell no.” I immediately refused the idea. It was mostly black, with some white frill on most of the edges. It wasn’t so much of a costume as it was erotica. It didn’t cover much of anything, although ponies walked around naked so much in the base case, but this was a matter of pride. Even if I was in a feminine body, I was still a man, dammit, and I would not be wearing something like a goddamn maid’s outfit. The skirt was short enough to be a large belt, and the top left little to the imagination. There was even a matching white ribbon to put in a mane.
Bronze and Spitfire immediately started to die of laughter. Twilight had the humility to at least blush heavily and quickly whisk the outfit back upstairs. “Why do you even have something like that, Twilight?” Spitfire managed to choke out through her tears.
“When you have a friend like Rarity, you get a lot of stuff you don’t really want to keep, but it would be rude to get rid of it,” Twilight explained, eager to get a move on. “How about this, then?”
The next one wasn't much better. It had a small red vest to cover the chest, though it didn't do a very good job. For the lower half, a pair of black stockings accompanied a tight black thong. To finish it off, a pair of bat wings, with red trim, made to slip over pegasi wings or just sit on a pony’s back went with a pair of silly felt red horns attached to a headband. The whole succubus costume was more slutty than anything, and it didn't help to stifle the laughter in the room.
“Really, Twilight?” I gave her a deadpan look.
“Okay, okay, fine,” she put that one away and took out the last one. It was large, purple, and fluffy. It looked like some kind of cartoon character. It was a full body furry suit, and I'd be damned if I wore it.
I sighed and put a hoof to my face. “Just give me the devil,” I resigned, holding out a hoof. Fuck it. If I'm going to be a mare for the night, I might as well go full out.
Bronze managed to pause in his laughter long enough to force out a quick “That's the spirit!”
I hadn't had to get dressed since I came to the pony world, and unless your name is Pinkie Pie, you can't really bend limbs well to put clothes on. Maybe this is why ponies almost never wear clothes. I had to put pride aside to ask Twilight to help me into the clothes. She put everything on with telekinesis as the clowns in the room recovered from their lack of air. I'm really glad Dash wasn't here for that.
I made a noise of discomfort as Twilight slid the wing coverings over mine. They felt cramped and restricting. Twilight either didn't notice or had the grace to ignore it. Once she took a step back and gave the all clear, I glanced at Spitfire, who had somehow put on her Wonderbolts uniform already, and asked, “Good enough?”
Spitfire shook her head, chuckling under her breath. “Good enough,” she repeated. “Let’s go.”
The three of us, and Bronze, made our way to the middle of town, where the party venue was supposed to be set up. Once there, I realized how inappropriate my costume choice was. There were kids everywhere. I leaned closer to Twilight. “You sure this was a good idea?”
“It'll be fine,” she replied, noticing my nervous glances. “Foals don't pay attention to stuff like that anyway.”
“If you say so.” I couldn't help but feel self conscious about the whole thing, even if I was in another body.
There was a stage set up in the center of the open area, yet was currently unoccupied. String lights connected it to nearby buildings by wire. Multiple seasonal games were scattered around the grounds, ranging from the classic bobbing for apples to… the hell is that? Are they launching pumpkins out of trebuchets?
“Oh man, I want to try that.”
Before I could respond, a crash sounded from behind me, along with several gasps of surprise and much stifled laughter. “Dammit, Spike…” Twilight mumbled, trotting towards where Spike had somehow managed to topple the whole barrel and spill everything. He even managed to destruct the barrel into its pre-manufactured pieces.
“I ain’t even mad,” I said to Spitfire, who nodded. “Just impressed.”
“You remember the plan?” she asked quietly, although even if we had been speaking at a reasonable volume, the background noise of the fairgrounds would have muffled it to any eavesdroppers anyway.
“We came up with it like two hours ago. How could I have forgotten already?” I asked, looking over her shoulder. I missed my height; before Twilight cast her spell, I could easily see above the heads of other ponies around me. Now, reduced to Spitfire’s height, I was having issues.
“Fair enough. What are you looking for?”
“If I know Applejack, and I’m pretty sure I know Applejack,” I started, finally spotting her. I pointed her out to my co-conspirator, and motioned in that direction, “she’ll have a stand set up to make a profit. You lead me there; Dash would be proud to show off Apple brand cider.” As I looked at Spitfire’s face, something bothered me. Something was off, and I couldn’t figure out what it was.
Spitfire noticed my unease, tilting her head a little. “What is it?”
I paused, searching for another moment. “Nothing. Let’s go. Make sure to be over-the-top excited.”
Spitfire took to the air, hovering a few feet above the ground like Dash normally does. I followed her on the ground.
“EEEEEE! Ohmygosh, Applejack! Come on, Spitfire! Hurry up! Cider!” Spitfire sang loud and proud, and having seen Rainbow’s fangirl act many times before, replicated it perfectly. Applejack, despite dealing with other customers, managed to have a filled mug set aside by the time I got to her table. Spitfire had already chugged one, and was making her way more slowly through a second.
“Come on, Spits! You have got to try this!” Spitfire thrust the mug from the table at me.
“Alright, calm down, Dash. I will.” I said, taking the mug from her. Ugh. I can smell the alcohol from here.
“Spitfire doesn’t have an issue with drinking. Looks like you gotta suck it up.”
Ha ha. Very funny. I took a large quaff.
It was good for the first second, really good, and then the taste of alcohol hit. I looked up at Spitfire, still in the air. “Wow. You weren’t kidding.” I was looking up at her face again, and it hit me. Her scars.
“Her what?”
Her scars! Her injuries! She doesn’t have Rainbow’s face! She has her old face!
I reached up and yanked on one of her legs, pulling her back down to earth. Somehow she managed to not spill anything. “Mask. Now.” I growled, leaning in close.
“What? Why?” She whispered back.
“Just do it. I’ll explain later.”
I turned back to Applejack, with the intent of distracting her while Spitfire got her mask on. I took another chug of the drink before asking, “So, Applejack. I know we’ve kinda met before, but I thought I should actually introduce myself, since Dash is too preoccupied with her cider to introduce us. I’m Spitfire.”
Applejack tipped her hat back, beaming. “Ah know who you are, Captain, but Ah ‘ppreciate it nonetheless.” She stuck out her hoof, and I shook it. “Rainbow showing you around Ponyville?”
“Yeah. I got bored of Cloudsdale’s lame excuse for a Nightmare Night celebration. I thought I’d come down here to have a night off.”
“Ah didn’t realize Cloudsdale had a Nightmare Night celebration.”
“Exactly.” I took another sip.
AJ chuckled, and in the brief silence that followed, looked me up and down. “Quite the costume choice, Captain.”
I shrugged. “Hey, drop the Captain stuff. I’m off duty. Coming down here was a split decision a few hours ago, and this was all I could find at the last minute.” I adjusted the headband. “It’s not very comfortable, either.” It was just now that I noticed AJ was actually wearing a costume, too. She was wearing typical old farm clothes, and it was easy to assume she hadn’t dressed up at all except for the straw poking out at certain points. Seemed to be an oldschool scarecrow suit.
AJ shifted too. “Ah know what you mean. Ah don’t know why Granny wants me to wear this every year. Straw ain’t exactly a silk dress, you know?”
At this point, Spitfire had come back, her mask pulled over her face. Only her ruby eyes and rainbow hair poked through, and her mouth was exposed as well. Her flight goggles were hung around her neck.
“Since we’re talkin bout it, that’s a quality suit, Rainbow. The Bolts give you that?” AJ asked, nodding at the costume.
“You know it!” Spitfire perked up. “They saw how awesome I was, and they gave me this so I’d be used to wearing it when they get a spot open for me! Tell her, Spitfire!”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Dash, that’s exactly how it went,” I replied sarcastically. At that point, I noticed shadows shifting on the ground in front of us. I glanced behind me to find the source, and seeing other ponies in line, started to push Spitfire out of the way. “Sorry for holding up the line, Applejack. We’ll get out of your way.”
AJ waved us away as Spitfire tried to protest. “Wait, cider! Just one more!” She cried out, reaching futilely over my shoulder towards the treasure she was leaving behind.
“Really milking this one, aren’t you?” I muttered once we were out of earshot.
“I took a few years of drama back at the academy,” she shrugged, standing on her own again. “Why’d you freak over the mask?”
“You don’t have her scars,” I dropped my smile.
“What?”
“Her scars. Dash wore her mane differently to cover up her face recently, remember?”
Spitfire swore. “We need to find Twilight,” she said, starting off in a direction.
“Before we do,” I said quickly, reaching out and pulling her back. “I think I might have an idea why.”
“You’re not a unicorn. What do you know about magic?”
I read a lot of fantasy as a kid. And played too much Pheonix Wright. I wanted to say. “Think about it. Twilight said, and I quote, ‘I just need some of her essence, like one of her feathers or some of her hair. Luckily, she crashes into the library often, and I think I have one.’”
“Why do you remember that word for word?”
I shrugged. “Some things stick out. That was one of them. Anyway, she said that she had one of Dash’s feathers from when she crashed into her library. But Dash hasn’t been flying since… her accident.”
“So? Why does that matter?”
“Just shut up and let me finish. My guess is that Twilight’s spell takes what the pony looked like when the feather or hair or whatever was detached. So if Dash crashed into the library weeks ago-”
Spitfire’s eyes grew wide. “Then it would have been old.”
I nodded. “Exactly. She wouldn’t have gotten those wounds yet. We need to get one of her feathers from after she got out of the hospital, then bring that to Twilight. The way things are right now, you can only pretend to be Rainbow Dash until someone demands you take off that mask.” Spitfire looked thoughtful, so I went on. “Our options, as I see it, are to find her and somehow take a feather without her noticing, or…” I trailed off. Something about find one she left somewhere didn’t sound like a plan.
“Or?” Spitfire tilted her head.
I waved the inquiry away. “Nevermind. Stupid idea. Would never work.”
We sat there, trying to come up with a way to remedy the situation for a while.
“Remedy the situation, huh?” Bronze chimed in.
I glanced over my shoulder. The wolf sat a few feet behind me, a little to the side, looming over everything else in the area. It’s amazing how I keep forgetting you’re here.
“As much as I try to stay out of your way, don’t forget that you can ask me for any advice, or help with anything…” He examined a paw in a nonchalant fashion. “It’s not like I’m someone capable of anything like magic, or someone who’s been around for centuries, accumulating more knowledge than any mortal mind could comprehend.”
You’re kidding about that last part, right?
“Maybe.” The god set his paw back on the ground, leveling his piercing gaze at me. “I’m rather insulted you didn’t come to me sooner.”
I didn’t come to you at all. You brought it up.
Bronze brought his massive head down to my level. “Do you truly think it’s wise to smartmouth the one who brought you life? The one who could easily snuff it out without a scrap of effort?”
I suppressed a snicker. I used to do it to my mom all the time. Besides, if you truly wanted to hurt me, you would have done it by now.
Bronze laid down, giving me some space again. Rolling onto his side, he added, “Alright, you got me. Also, if you’re interested,” He held up a blue feather sticking out in between the toes of his massive front paw. “Just pulled this off of her a minute or so ago. She’s in Sugarcube Corner right now, in a Daring Do costume. Pretty good one, too. Dyed her fur and mane. Looks like she missed a spot, though.” He inspected the feather.
Dude, you are a lifesaver!
“Duh.”
Literally, too, I guess. I felt a sudden twinge of a mixture of strange loneliness and slight guilt. When this Halloween craze dies down, you want to just take a day or two to just hang out?
“Sounds good, little buddy.” He reached out and tucked the feather into the tiny red vest I was wearing.
Huh. I didn’t even realize there was a pocket in there.
Bronze winked. “All knowing god knows his stuff.”
Guess so. I started to turn back to Spitfire, but stopped as something else crossed my mind. You couldn’t just do the spell, right?
“Nope. I could try to replicate it, but Twilight’s casting of that spell was the first time I’ve seen it. Also, with how relatively little I know about magic, I wouldn’t want to dick with it. Twilight’s spell signature is all over you two, and I ain’t touching that.”
Fair enough. You know where Twilight is, then?
“Conveniently, also in Sugarcube Corner. As of right now, on the other side of it. Your marefriend is talking to the hyperactive one, and Twilight is sitting down with the schoolteacher with the dragon.”
Are you sure you’re not just some OP cheat code? I asked, sarcastically.
“Nope.” He said, getting up. “Go, before one of them leaves.”
Fine, fine. I’m going.
“Hey, Dash.” I tried to get Spitfire’s attention, but she didn’t respond. I poked her face. “Hey, Rainbow. I’m talkin’ to you.”
She recoiled. “Sorry. I’m still here. You come up with something?”
“If I know Dash, and I'd like to think that I do, if she’s not here at AJ’s stall getting cider, she’ll be in Sugarcube Corner. So we should go there and see if we can’t get a feather from her.”
Luckily, the bakery was just across the square from where we were. A short walk made short work of the journey, but Bronze didn’t follow us. I caught him eyeing the pumpkin siege engines out of the corner of my eye.
He was right. Pushing open the front door, Twilight’s outrageous outfit immediately caught my eye, and shortly after, I spotted the real Rainbow leaning on the glass counter, talking to a giant chicken working on the other side. “Wait here,” I muttered to Spitfire. “I’ll get Twilight.”
“The feather?” She asked.
“Got it covered.” I made my way over to Twilight’s table. The purple mare was indeed conversing with a mulberry colored mare, dressed in a classic bride of Frankenstein costume.
After some… evasive conversation tactics, I had managed to get Twilight and Spitfire outside without Dash noticing. I explained my reasoning to Twilight after we had found an out of the way spot. She didn't even let me finish before she put her hoof to her chin in contemplation.
“So we need a feather from her fairly recently,” she mused. “How do you plan on getting that?”
“Got it covered,” I responded smugly, pulling the cyan feather out of my vest. “Spitfire nabbed it off her a minute ago.” I quickly looked at Spitfire out of the corner if my eye while Twilight was looking down at the feather, to let her know to just keep quiet for now. I hope she got the message.
I stood watch, unnecessarily as nobody came near, as Twilight cast her spell on Spitfire again. I looked again after the light show had died down a little more. Spitfire’s mane had come out exactly as Rainbow's had been. I asked her to brush it out of the way. Perfect. The scars had been duplicated perfectly.
“Thanks, Twilight. Couldn't have done it without you.”
Twilight left to enjoy the night more, leaving Spitfire and me to implement our Nightmare Night plan.
“Alright, Spits, you ready?” I asked her.
“Of course,” she answered confidently, maybe even a bit arrogantly. “Dash has been fangirling over me for years. I’m pretty sure I know how she acts.”
I nodded. “Fair enough, but is the experience of a few years of drama classes enough to pull this off?”
“Are you really having second thoughts right now?” Her ruby eyes narrowed.
“No. Maybe.” I sighed. “I want this done right, but I also don’t want to hurt her.”
Spitfire rolled her eyes. “Dash will be fine. She’s not a little filly in flight school, hurt by every little jab at her feelings.”
That brought a small smile to my face. “From what I’ve heard, she was never like that. Fine. Let’s just go before I can come up with more reasons.”
With the other mare’s agreement, we went back around to the front of Sugarcube Corner, opting to use the front door for a better entrance. Spitfire threw open the doors, swooping through the doorway and ascending into the open air above the heads of the other ponies. The real Rainbow Dash was still by the counter, presumably talking to Pinkie up until about a moment ago. Before Spitfire could even finish her ascent, Dash had matched her, and they met in the air, glaring at each other. Every move Dash- Okay, this is getting too confusing to keep track of, and I’ve been here for all of a second. Every move Daring Do made, Wonderbolt Dash mirrored. Both of them leaned toward the other one, baring teeth. They both shouted “Impostor!” then “Changeling!” and “Quit it!” together, so much so that it sounded like one person’s voice.
For my part, I was damn well impressed. Spitfire was right when she said she could pull this off.
They both pulled back a bit, folding their forelegs, eyeing each other. They went through several more movements, with the Wonderbolt perfectly mirroring the adventurer every time. Eventually, Spitfire spoke.
“Alright, look. We both know I’m the real Rainbow Dash.”
The real Rainbow Dash scoffed, “In your dreams, maybe.”
It devolved into a childish nuh-uh, yuh-huh argument. Well, time to step in.
“Rainbow Dash!” I called out, hovering a few feet off the floor. Their reactions were immediate and, incredibly, exactly the same.
“Captain Spitfire!” They both swooped down to stop in front of me, immediately trying to get me to help each expose the other. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, because the same voice talking at the same time saying different words is incredibly confusing.
“Why don’t we just skip the asking questions only the real one would know thing? What’s the one thing Rainbow Dash can do that nopony else can?”
Wonderbolt Dash whooped. “Everyone knows I’m the fastest!”
Daring Do grinned confidently. “You challenging me to a race, changeling?”
Wonderbolt Dash closed the gap between them. “When I win, it’ll be obvious to everypony just who the spy is.”
As they both barreled out the door in sync, something caught my attention. Wasn’t Dash injured? When I saw her this morning, she seemed incapable of flying. I thought about it more, moving with the crowd that was filing outside, wanting to see how this played out. I looked up as I exited the building, seeing Dash and Spitfire circling each other in a slow hover. An idea hit me. Did she get a unicorn to heal her since, or are neither of these mares the real Rainbow Dash?