//------------------------------// // Gizoogle: My Little Gangsta; Thugness is Magic (Mane 6 & Discord) // Story: The Things You See On The Internet... // by Zanem-Ji //------------------------------// “Please?” “Nuh-uh” “B-but…why not?” “Ah don’t want nothin’ tah do with yer freaky lil’ experiments, Twi. They’re always weird.” “As much as I am for the ‘chic’ and ‘magnifique’, I must admit that Applejack’s twang and country euphemisms are a delightful treat.” Rarity stated. Twilight let out a sigh and flopped out onto the floor, “But, Applejack, you’re the only one that this would be the most effective on…” “Why? Ah’m not the only one with an accent. Rarity’s got a perfectly good Manehattan accent fer ya tah mess with.” Dash, who had stayed out of it up until this point, decided to take a crack at the farm pony, “Applejack, you don’t have an accent, you have a speech impediment.” Applejack let out a dry chuckle, before landing a well-aimed punch at the Pegasus ribcage. A smile spread on Dashie’s face as she fell to the floor, “Worth it…” “So what is the experiment, if you don’t mind me asking…” Fluttershy quipped, as she helped a slightly wheezing Rainbow Dash to her hooves. Twilight hopped up to her hooves, “Oh, it’s quite simple! The device created has been designed to alter the vibrations our vocal chords produce. You see, within each language, the vibrations variate based upon the pitch and tone of the word being said. With this device, I will change the way you sound, and the voice of whoever you’re talking to, so that both of you will be speaking the same language.” Applejack crossed her forelegs, “So, why does it have tah be me?” Twilight shot her a friendly smile, “Because you are the most applicable candidate for this experiment.” “Okay, but why? There are five other ponies here with workin’ voice boxes.” “True…but, they don’t function properly.” Twilight replied. “Rainbow’s vocal chords are badly damaged beyond repair. It’s evidenced by the cracking and raspiness of her voice when she talks.” “Oh, is that what that is?” Applejack smirked. “Ah just thought Dash was finishin’ puberty an’ finally becomin’ a big, strong stallion.” Dash leered at Applejack, before grabbing a nearby book and chucking it at her. The corner smacked her snout with a hard thud, and through the few tears that welled up, she smiled. “What, yer colt hormones all outta whack?” “Anyways,” Twilight continued loudly. “Rarity’s vocal chords are damaged from her…squeals and screams of the ‘drama and excitement’ she goes through on a daily basis. Although, they aren’t as bad as Rainbow’s.” she looked over at Fluttershy, “Fluttershy’s vocal chords are a bit smaller, and somewhat delicate due to her continuously maintaining a soft voice. She could yell and scream, we’ve all seen that, but it puts a terrible strain on her vocal chords. Any volume that’s louder than how she normally sounds could cause serious damage. Depending on the language, we don’t know how much strain we’ll cause. ” Her gaze turned to Pinkie, and her expression turned into a hesitant one. The others looked over at Pinkie, who gave them all a beaming smile, “Pinkie…uh, tends to ignore the laws of physics. More than likely, the results from her won’t be accurate.” “So then…” Applejack rubbed her chin, “The only other pony ya can experiment on here, is-” “Myself.” Twilight finished. “Yes, you and I will be conducting the experiment.” She reached over pushed a few buttons on the massive control panel, “Now, the machine is starting to power up. Once it’s fully charged, it will switch to voice control.” “But…if you’re using a completely different language, how’s the machine gonna understand you?” Dash questioned. “Everypony’s voice has a set vocal baseline, that is distinct from one another.” Twilight replied. “My baseline is already registered in the system, so it’ll recognize my voice no matter what language I’m speaking.” She started to trot away from it, “Follow me. The testing platform is right over here.” The group followed Twilight and Applejack to a small platform, that had a slender, silver spires at each corner. As they started to step onto it, a certain being of chaos slithered into their plane of existence, “Well hello my lovely little ponies!” Discord greeted as he hovered over to Twilight and Applejack, “What sort of splendid situation are you getting yourself into today?” “Nothin’, now go away.” Applejack stated as she made a shooing motion with her hooves. Discord ignored her and hovered over to the machine that was connected to the platform. “Ooh, what do we have here? Is this a multilingual vocal baseline translator?” Twilight’s jaw slacked, “What? Wait, how do you kno-” “Oh wow, it has a dual water cooling system! And a uranium power cell!” he glanced over at Twilight and gave her a crooked smile, “My my, how ever did you managed to get your hooves on one of these? I only recollect that they’re sold at the black mar-” “Shut up, Discord!” Twilight snapped. “It’s none of your business! And how do you know any of this stuff anyway?” “Yeah, Twilight’s got a point. You don’t really come off as the ‘egghead’ type.” Dash added. “I’ve been around for eons my dears. As much as I like to spend my time spreading chaos, I felt the need to…diverse my expertise.” He chuckled, “Actually, I just wanted to learn how science explained things and how they worked, before I completely messed it up.” He looked back at the machine’s screen, “Ah! You have wi-fi! Excellent! Have you ever heard of a website called ‘Gizoogle’? It’s a site that works as a translator as well, though it only translates into ‘slang’.” “You mean ‘zebronics’?” Rarity questioned. Dash shot her a look, “Wow, no, you tribalist.” “I-I’m not a tribalist!” Twilight tilted her head, “Rarity, it’s 2016…what’s wrong with you?” “I’m telling you, I’m not a tribalist!” Twilight realized Discord was suddenly being too quiet and looked over her shoulder. Her eyes went wide, “Discord, don’t push that button!!” She teleported to the other side of the room, tackling the draconequus. They both crashed into the machine, slamming into various levers and buttons on it. It sparked and crackled with arcing bolts of electricity, before pulsing off waves of language altering radiation. They all hit the walls of the lab, knocking over books and beakers. A deep hum thrummed through all of them, before fading into silence. They let out groans of pain and discomfort, before rising to their hooves. “Ugh…is everpony aiiiight?” Twilight asked, before slapping a hoof over her mouth. The others looked at her, eyes wide with surprise. “What’s wack wit yo’ voice?” Rarity questioned, before mirroring Twilight’s actions. Dash belted out a laugh, “Yo ass sounds shitty!” “We all sound like thugs!” Pinkie squealed, before happily clacking her hooves together. She bounced around the room, and accidentally stepped on Discord’s reptilian foot. It let out a yelp and leered down at the Earth Pony, “Yo, be mo’ mindful of yo’ surroundings!” he shouted, before clamping his mouth shut. Twilight trotted over to the machine, “My fuckin’ machine…it’s straight-up busted.” she looked up at him, “This be all yo’ fault!!” Discord put his taloned hand to his chest, “My fuckin’ fault? Yo ass have me mistaken, Princess. This was our fault.” He looked over at the machine, “If you had just let me do what the fuck I wanted ta do, tha effectz of it could have easily been reversed. Ya’ll KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Now, we’re all stuck soundin’ like this!” They stared each other down for a few seconds, before Discord broke out into a fit of giggles. “Oh, whoz ass I kiddin’, biatch? We not all stuck like this, ya’ll.” Applejack’s eyes lit up, “Therez a way ta fix this?” “Oh shiiiiiiiit, not dat I know of fo realz. All I holla’d, is dat we aren’t stuck like dis ya’ll.” He curled his paw into a fist and gave his chest a few thumps, coughing and sputtering a few times. “There we go!” he grinned at them, “All better. Now, I’ll leave your girls to your little ‘friendship’ problem.” “Friendshizzle problem?!” Twilight screamed. “This thang ain’t a problem! This is science gone awry!” “Messed up science, friendship problem, it’s all the same thing to me.” Discord gave them a quick wave, “Too-da-loo!!” With an audible poof, he vanished, leaving behind six mares who were in varying degrees of anger and confusion. Rarity rubbed her temples, “So…what tha fuck happens now?” Twilight sighed as she dragged a hoof over the broken control panel, “I be bout ta git started on fixin’ dis thang. Unfortunately, I don’t know how tha fuck long it’s goin ta take me ta finish dat shit.” “I be goin’ ta git up in contact wit Discord.” Fluttershy declared. “I be bout ta make shizzle dat schmoooove muthafucka helps you git our asses outta dis mess.” “I straight-up appreciate dat shit.” Twilight replied in a tired tone. “Go rap ta Spike yo. Dude can write tha letta n' bust it directly ta Discord.” “Discordz gots a phone. Just call his muthafuckin' ass.” Applejack stated. Twilight looked at her in disbelief, “Is you crazy, biatch? Do you know how tha fuck much minutes cost when you tryin ta booty-call somepony up in another county, much less another dimension, biatch? Even if I wanted ta spend dat kind of bits, My fuckin' company ain't dat pimped out.” she looked around at the others, “For tha rest of ya’ll hoes… just bounce back ta tha doggy den. Whenever she gets his cooperation, I’ll notify ya’ll.” The others nodded and mumbles of agreement before heading home. “Well…I can’t just sit locked up in mah room.” Applejack grumbled. “I’ve gots work ta do on the farm.” “I believe we all have work ta do yo, but Twilight specifically holla'd we should bounce back ta tha doggy den.” Rarity replied. “C’mon we’ve dealt wit’ worse than this!” Pinkie chirped. “I’ve gots baked loot ta push n' joy ta spread, n' I’m not goin ta let dis stop me!” she bounced away back to Sugarcube Corner. “Pinks is right, we can’t let dis just end our everyday tasks. We’ve gots shiznit ta do.” Dash’s wing snapped open. “I’ll peep you hoes later n' shit. There’s a Wonderbolts meetin' dat I’ve gots ta git to. Peace!” With that, she kicked off the ground and shot into the sky, leaving a prismatic trail behind her. Applejack shrugged and wordlessly headed down the street, leaving Rarity alone. “I just don’t peep dis endin’ well…” Rarity muttered to herself, before slowly heading back to the Carousel Boutique. -MLP- The door to Sugarcube Corner opened with the chime of the bell above it. Pinkie looked around to see that for now, the store was near empty, save for Octavia and Vinyl, who were enjoying a couple slices of cake. Vinyl looked up and gave her a wave. Pinkie smiled, “Yo Vinyl and Octy, how tha fuck is yo slick ass?” Pinkie slapped a hoof over her mouth. Octavia’s jaw went slack, while Vinyl had a huge smile morph onto her face. “Alright, they finally stopped making this place so focused on the kiddies!” she exclaimed. “Does this mean you guys might start opening up to let DJs play?” Pinkie shook her head, “Fuck that shit. Da Cakes wanna keep dis a funky-ass bakery, not a cold-ass lil’ club.” “Pinkie Pie!” Cupcake screamed as she rounded the corner. “You know better than to bring that filthy language into my bakery!” “Mrs. Cake, I can’t help what tha fuck comes outta mah grill right now! Twiligh-” “That’s enough out of you!” she looked over to the mares at the table, “I’m terribly sorry about that, ladies. I’ll see to it that it won’t happen again.” “Please do.” Octavia replied. “If I wanted to go an establishment like that, I would simply go see Vinyl when she’s working.” Vinyl threw her hooves up in defense, “Whoa there, why don’t you pull those punches a little bit. Mad harsh….geez.” she looked over at Cupcake, “Anyway, just don’t fire her or something…” “Of course not. She’s one of the best bakers I’ve ever had working for me.” She sized Pinkie up, “Come with me. I’ve got something for you to do as punishment.” Pinkie’s ear drooped and her gaze dropped to the ground. She trudged behind Cupcake as the older mare led her through the back door. She looked around, “What is our phat asses bustin’ up in here?” Cupcake shook her head, “Even now, you can’t seem to reign in that cursing.” She reached into the small shed next to the building. “So you’re going to sit here and think of why you think it’s okay to talk like that.” She pulled out a paint bucket, and a brush. Pinkie’s eyes went wide, “Oh, not tha Paint Punishment!!” Cupcake nodded, “Yes ma’am, the Paint Punishment.” She popped the top to the paint and dipped the brush into it, making sure to cover it in a thick, heavy coat. She walked over to a spot on the wall where the coat was much thicker than anywhere else on the building. She slowly dragged the brush across, leaving a glistening fresh streak on the wall. “The sun has yet to hit this side of the building.” Cupcake pointed out. “So the paint shouldn’t dry for a while. That’ll give you plenty of time to think about it.” she looked over at Pinkie. “Is there anything you’d like to say before I leave” “I be straight-up sorry about dat bullshit.” As soon as the sentence left Pinkie’s mouth, she slapped both hooves over it. Cupcake’s face curled in digust, “I can’t believe you, Pinkamina. I’m very disappointed in you.” She turned and headed back inside, leaving Pinkie to her thoughts. She let out a sigh and focused on the wall. Knowing that she physically couldn’t stop cursing, she thought of other things instead. -MLP- “-And that’s why I can’t stop talking like this.” Spitfire read the note Dash gave to her out loud. She had called her in after the Pegasus decided to voice her opinion about a particular move, only to have an insanely hard time understanding her when she tried to explain herself. “So…until Princess Twilight fixes her machine…you’re stuck talking like that?” Dash nodded. Spitfire ran a hoof through her mane, “Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t talk about the stunts for a while.” “I can straight-up do dat, son! I won’t rap ‘bout tha thangs I don’t like.” Spitfire raised a brow, “Riiiiight…” she reached onto her desk and grabbed a clipboard, “Alright, so you and Surprise are going to fly a few of the laps. You two weren’t here the last two rehearsals, so I need you two to catch up, you got it?” “Yes yes y'all, ma'am, I be bout ta git right on dat shiznit son!” Spitfire snorted at the offending reply, but said nothing as Dash took off to the training grounds. Within a couple minutes, Dash found Surprise already waiting for her. The white Pegasus looked up and waved and Dash landed beside her, “Hey Dashie! How’s the potty mouth thing working for you?” Dash’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a minute, you weren't here dis morning. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd at yo slick ass?!” Surprise giggled. “Nopony told me. It’s just the Surprise Sense.” “Really, biatch? I thought dat shiznit was just Pinkiez immediate crew dat had dat trait. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass.” “Nope, ‘The Sense’ runs through the whole family, cousins and all. Uncle Igneous and Auntie Cloudy have it, though they don’t want to admit it.” “Thatz pretty phat.” “Yeah, it is. I mean, it kind of sucks when I get twitchy wings or wobbly knees in mid-flight, because it throws me off. Other than that though, it doesn’t bother me.” She flapped her wings a few times and hovered above the ground and pulled her goggles over her eyes, “You ready to get started? We got a lot to catch up on.” Dash nodded and mirrored her actions, “Letz git ta dat shiznit son!” Surprise took off through the first loop with Dash in tow. They zipped through and snapped their wings open, letting themselves begin a free fall. “Okay, so the dive is supposed to last 15 seconds, and then we start a 20 second tight spiral, before breaking into a manepin turn back up!!” Surprise shouted before starting the technique. “Wait, what da fuck was dat last part?!” Dash screamed back, which was lost on the rush of air. She then gave a miniscule shrug, figuring that she’d just catch on to whatever Surprise was doing. She followed through the motions, pulling her wings tight to her body as she fell into a tight spiral. Only a few hooves behind, Surprise snapped her wings open, and Dash’s eyes went wide. Before she could even let out a sound of shock, she slammed into the other Wonderbolt, the full force of her weight snapping the hollow bones of Surprise’s wing like a twig. She let out a sharp yelp of pain, before slipping into unconsciousness, and beginning a wild tumble from the sky. Dash outstretched her hooves, “Hang on, Surprise biaaatch! I gots you, nahmean biiiatch?!” -MLP- “Dammit Big Mac, are you rockin' Applez Bloomz laptop fo' porn again?!” Applejack shouted as she stormed into Big Mac’s room with the laptop on her back. “Eeynope.” She opened it and pointed at the screen. “Big Mac, there be five tabs open wit not a god damn thang but porn.” “Maybe she opened ‘em.” “Dat hoe not even home, biaaatch! Quit lying!” Big Mac’s brow furrowed, “Ya shouldn’t be talkin’ about our sister like that! It ain’t right!” “I already holla'd at you, Twilightz machine is makin' me sound like this!” “Then maybe ya shouldn’t talk at all.” “And maybe you should stop watchin' porn on Applez Bloomz laptop n' loot yo' own!” “Loot mah own? Ah don’t know what that means.” “It means stop rockin' Applez Bloomz laptop fo' yo' urges!” A prismatic ring of light burst forth from the sky and caught Applejack’s attention. It was trailed by the roar of the sound barrier being broken. “That might be Dash lettin' our asses know Twilight fixed tha machine.” Applejack stated. “I be bout ta peep you lata n' shit. I be goin' ta go n' swing by Rarityz place.” She turned and dipped out of the room, and Big Mac stared at the door for a few more seconds. Once he heard the front door downstairs open and shut, he slowly reached for the laptop. -MLP- “Why did you have Spike mail me that letter?” Discord questioned. “You could’ve just used the whistle to call me.” “That don't matta up in dis biatch, Discord.” Fluttershy replied. “Yo ass need ta come back n' help Twilight fix tha machine.” Discord chuckled, “Twilight is a very smart mare. She’ll have no problem fixing it on her own.” “Yo ass is right...but dat don't mean itz easy as fuck. Yo ass touched sumthin' dat didn't belong ta you, n' then you broke dat shit. Yo ass even holla'd dat dat shiznit was both yo' faults.” Discord’s smile fell, and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Fluttershy took this as a sign to continue. “That means you need ta help her n' shit. Yo ass called dis a problem, right?” Discord shrugged his shoulders, “I called this a friendship problem? I can’t really say I recall…” “Discord!” “Alright, yes, I remember saying that!” “Then you need ta be a phat playa, n' help yo' other playaz out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch needz you, Discord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I need you, biatch. We all do.” Discord rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “You’re not really being fair, throwing all those things back at me like this.” Fluttershy giggled and gave him a soft smile, “Don’t hate tha playa, hate tha game.” -MLP- Applejack walked into Rarity’s boutique, and noticed that there was some fashion wear that even she knew didn’t belong in here. Rarity looked over at her as she stepped away from a ponnequin, “I didn't expect you ta leave tha farm. Did yo dirty ass happen ta hear from Twilight?” “Fuck dat shiznit yo, but I saw tha Rainboom n' figured dat shiznit was Dash tryin' ta git our attention...” she looked around at the baggy pants and long white tees, “So...did you decizzle ta go up in a gangbangin' hoof-lickin' different direction wit yo' threadz line?” Rarity levitated a few hats onto a rack. “Not exactly, I just decided ta diversify mah dirty ass. Da hip-hop industry be a cold-ass lil' straight-up different ghetto, n' I be goin' ta explore tha fashizzle aspect of dat shiznit son!” The bell above the door jingled, and Rarity greeted her patrons with a smile, “Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin' Carousel Boutique; where every last muthafuckin' garment is chic, unique, n' magnifique!” Applejack’s eyes boggled at the customers. Two identical grey Earth Pony stallions donning a green and gold lined jumpsuits looked around the establishment. One of them cracked a smile, his gold covered teeth glinting in the store lights. “I didn’t expect a new urban clothing store to look like this…but this place is pretty tight!” the one that spoke looked between the two mares, “I heard that an ever-so-clever Element of Generosity ran this joint.” He focused on Rarity, “Is that you?” “That would be mah dirty ass.” Rarity replied as she outstretched a hoof, “And what tha fuck is yo' name?” “Ice Tea.” The stallion replied. “And this is my brother Three Square,” “Wazzup.” “And we form the rap duo known as Ice Cubed.” Ice finished. “We’re tryna find something that’ll reinvent our image. Something that’ll match our sick lyrics and even sicker beats.” Three stepped around his brother, “What you got?” “I've gots some fabulous pinstripe suits dat you might like. Believe it or not, ponies dressed ta tha nines can be incredibly thugged-out, as well mad urban.” Ice rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “You got a point…” he looked over at Three, “Whatcha think homie?” Three shrugged, “Whateva. I’m down for the shit.” Ice grinned and turned back to Rarity, “Alright Rarity, do yo thang.” “I'd be mo' than aiiight to!” Rarity’s phone chirped out a jingle, and she checked the screen, “It ain't nuthin' but Twilight. Maybe she gots tha machine fixed.” She magically pushed the answer button, making sure it was on speaker. “Yo muthafucka, Twilight. Were you successful up in fixin' yo' lil device?” “Fuck dat shiznit yo, but Fluttershy was able ta brang Discord back here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Well shiiiit, it shouldn't be too much longer wit his help. As a matta of fact, you hoes can go ahead n' start headin' back here.” “Excellent, then we'll be on our way. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. See you when we git there!” “Peace out.” “Well, you heard tha Princess. Letz go back n' git ourselves turned back ta normal.” Applejack stated. “But...I have hustlas. I can't just up n' leave dem wild-ass muthafuckas.” Rarity replied softly. Ice chuckled, “You’re part of Princess Twilight’s crew. If she needs you, you have to go.” “Besides, you need to fix whatever is wrong with you two.” Three pointed out. Rarity smiled gratefully, “I straight-up appreciate yo' understanding. Will you able ta come back within a cold-ass lil' couple hours?” “Of course.” Ice answered. “We’ll be chillin’ here in P-ville for a few days, so don’t rush.” They all left the Boutique and parted ways. The two mares headed down the road, and Applejack rubbed her chin, “Wait, Dash still made dat Rainboom fo' some reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We should call her n' peep where she is.” Rarity pulled her phone back out and dialed Dash’s number. It only took a few rings before Dash picked up. “Whatz good, Rares.” “Twilight called n' holla'd we can go back ta her place. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch n' Discord gonna git it fixed by then. I ain't talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Where is yo slick ass?” “I can't leave, I be all up in tha hospitizzle n' ain't a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.” Applejack and Rarity’s eyes went wide. Applejack snatched the phone from the Unicorn, “Why is you there, biatch? How tha fuck badly did you git hurt, biatch? Is you goin' ta be aiiight?” “Fuck dat shit, I be fine. I crashed tha fuck into Surprise n' broke her wing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch passed out mid fall, so I caught her n' brought her here.” There was a pause in the conversation as Dash started speaking to somepony in the background. It carried on for a few seconds before Dash spoke to them again. “Da doctor holla'd dat she'll be aiiiight, they just gotta set her wing so they can cook up a cold-ass lil' cast fo' dat shit. I be bout ta go ahead n' peep you muthafuckas as Twilightz place.” Before Rarity or Applejack could reply, the line went dead with a click. Rarity rolled her eyes, “Why is it so hard fo' Rainbow Dash ta signify she endin' tha conversation before hangin' up, biatch? An 'adeiu', a 'farewell', even a 'see you later' would do. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Somepony need ta teach her beeper etiquette.” Applejack shrugged, “Whatever, letz just git outta here before suttin' happens ta tha machine again.” Rarity nodded in agreement before they both broke into a gallop towards Twilight’s castle. -MLP- “And why, pray tell, do I have to be the one to go and get the uranium power cell?” Discord questioned as he leered down at Twilight. “Because you tha one dat gots our asses tha fuck into this, n' you goin' ta be tha one ta git our asses up fo' realz.” She replied. “All you gotta do, is git all up in where they sold, n' loot one.” “You could do the same thing you know.” He suddenly gave her a snarky grin, "Or is it because you’ve got an image to maintain?” She narrowed her eyes, “I swear ta tha godz above Discord, if you don't just go n' do what tha fuck I axed you ta do-“ He threw his mix matched hands up, “Alright, alright. Don’t get fussy. I’ll go and get it.” He teleported with an audible pop, and reappeared within a minute with a giant mechanical container, with a strange silvery white material hovering within it. “Here’s your precious power cell.” He grumbled. Twilight levitated it from his grasp, and carefully locked it into place on the machine. She reached up and tapped a few buttons, and the machine hummed to life. “Okay...Discord, we' gotta regista yo' voice within tha system, since you tha only one outta all of our asses whoz ass still has a aiiight voice.” “Very well then. I suppose I can help out my friends…” he typed a few buttons until the machine spoke back. “Vocal Registration activated, please state your name. Discord cleared his throat, “Discord, King of Chaos.” “Good Afternoon, Discord, King of Chaos. Please input a phrase to input into Vocal Database System.” A mischievous smile painted his face, “I am better than Twilight Sparkle in every single way.” Twilight leered up at him, but said nothing in fear of messing up the registration. The machine made a few clicks and, to Twilight’s annoyance, played Discord’s message back to him. There were a few more hums and whirs, before the machine spoke up again. “Vocal Registration has been completed for ‘Discord, King of Chaos’.” “Fantastic…” Discord’s voice dripped with sarcasm. He looked down at Twilight, “Now what?” “That was just up in case tha buttons break or something.” Twilight replied. “I be bout ta set every last muthafuckin' thang back ta fix our asses right.” Discord stepped aside and let the princess type in the codes and other things she needed to do. After taking a few minutes to set everything up, she looked up at Discord, “What language is we even bustin' lyrics right now?” Discord rubbed the back of his long neck, “It’s not a real language…per se. You see, when we hit the machine, I was on the internet using Gizoogle.” Twilight rolled her eyes and inputted the website Discord had previously been on. She then put in a series of commands and stepped away from the machine. “Okay, so every last muthafuckin' thang is set up ta where it should have our asses bustin' lyrics Enquish again.” She looked up at Discord, “All you gotta do, is wait until we all on tha platform, then push dat purple button right there.” She finished as she pointed at the only purple button on the machine. He smirked, “So what happens if I don’t push it?” “Then you might as well not show yo' grill up in Equestria eva again.” He let out a groan of defeat, “Fine, fine.” He made a shooing motion to the group, “Go get on the platform so we can get this over with.” They all made their way to the metallic platform, and looked over at Discord expectantly. He grumbled a bit, before pushing the button. A machine hummed and whirred with newly found vigor, and the spires that surrounded the platform crackled with electricity. They all felt the tingle on their coats at electricity course through them for a few moments. The humming died as the process stopped, and the machine let out a little ping, “Vocal alteration complete.” After that, the room remained silent. They were all apprehensive to speak. What if Twilight’s machine hadn’t worked? Discord looked back and forth between them impatiently, “Will somepony speak so that we can figure out if this worked or not? I don’t want to be here all day.” “Shut up, Discord! You’re the one who put us in this situation in the first place!” Twilight snapped. Their faces lit up as she insulted Discord in perfect Enquish. “You did it!” Rarity squealed. “You fixed the machine!” “No…” Fluttershy stood by Discord, “They both did.” She looked up at the draconequus. “I’m very proud of you. Thank you for helping Twilight and fixing the machine.” Discord’s grumpy demeanor softened, “It wasn’t that big of an issue, really. I’m…glad I could help you.” For a moment, Fluttershy’s kindness spread amongst the group, before Dash’s eyes went wide. “Oh crap!” she grabbed Pinkie by the shoulders. “I’m really sorry, but I put your cousin in the hospital! I gotta go back!” Before any of them could question it, Dash took off in a streak of prismatic light. Pinkie snorted, “I’ll you girls later.” She zipped out of the room, the sudden wind force snatching papers everywhere as she was trailed by a pink, and lighter pink, streak. -MLP- “I got here as fast as I could!” Dash gasped out as she threw the door to Surprise’s room wide open. Surprise looked up at her a look of panic in her eyes, she shook her head rapidly, but it was far too late. Dash’s gaze settled on Pinkie sitting in a chair next to the bed, forelegs crossed and a hoof tapping the ground. Baby blue eyes were boring into her, and Dash shrank beneath Pinkie’s gaze. “Dashie…” the normally friendly nickname was laced with a frightening tone, “What did you do to Surprise??” “She crashed into me during practice.” Surprise quickly replied. “But it’s not her fault! Besides, It was one clean break, so it won’t take as long to heal.” Dash slowly walked up to the bed. “I’m really sorry about all this, Surprise. I couldn’t hear what you had said about the last part of the stunt. I’ll never make that mistake again…” “Don’t worry about it…Crash.” Surprise replied before letting out a snort and breaking out into a giggle. Dash smiled softly at the name, but then it fell as something crossed her mind. “Hey wait a minute…” one of her eyebrows raised up, “Spitfire couldn’t understand a thing I had said. How were you able to?” Surprise’s smile shrank a bit, “Well, I grew up in Manehattan. I didn’t choose the thug life;” the smile had now completely vanished. “The thug life chose me.”