//------------------------------// // 8 Honor // Story: Lyra-7% // by Meep the Changeling //------------------------------// Lyra Heartstrings - 12th of Faust 1,312 Classical Era - Afternoon Multiverse Location: Equestria, Equis #0???? - The Prime (Distant Past) The gleaming halbard remained still as I lept backwards, the double danger it posed of potentially breaching my suit and puncturing my intestines, sending me into a full fighting mode. My hand found my pistol mid leap, and by the time I had landed, boots skidding on the forest floor, I had the barrel leveled at the medieval weapon’s owner and finger tightening on the trigger. What saved her from a bolt through the skull was a blindfold. It wasn’t a rag over the eyes, but a black silken blindfold which was very well made, and looked like it was meant to be worn all the time. The sort of thing a blind person who hadn’t heard of sunglasses would use. This mare most definitely could not see me, her weapon placement had been happenstance and luck, and I’d probably just scared the shit out of her by suddenly speaking. On the other hand, she for some reason had a god damn polearm! I kept my gun in my hand but lowered it, taking a moment to quickly assess the situation properly. With my eyes not reflexively working to align sight posts with gray matter, a very interesting picture unfolded. The most obvious thing was the clean silvery plate armor covering the top half of her body. It was very well fitted, had a vaguely Greeko-roman meets medieval France styling, but looked thin and streamlined. Appropriate for the pegasus who wore it, as given the fact it’s plates covered the front edge of her wings it was meant for use in the air. This mare had to be some sort of military member… Or maybe off to LARP. Like the last universe's ponies, she was a quadruped. Her wings were flared out and held behind herself, helping her balance on her rear legs while she somehow held her weapon in her forehooves. Given the apparent ease of her holding it like that, I figured this was normal and decided to just assume magic did it. The halberdier was also definitely blind, as her blindfold tucked under her helmet, which had holes for her ears to stick through. Any sane person wouldn’t put their ears out to get lopped off unless they absolutely needed to hear perfectly clearly. As her armor only covered her head, shoulders, back, chest, and forelegs (with strapped on boot-like shin guards for the rear legs) I was able to see that beneath her armor she had dark blue fur, with some black dappled spots on her...horse equivalent to hips, a very light blue tail, and a sliver brand on her hips in the shape of stylized waning crescent moon. “I hath said: Name thyself, wizard!” The mare demanded, keeping her weapon pointed but not advancing. “Point that thing someplace else first!” I retorted. The mare’s ears twitched as I spoke, probably as she homed in on exactly where I had moved to. “Ha! And maketh it easy for thee to setteth me on fire? I think not!” She laughed, shifting her rear legs to set up a lunge. “Telleth me thy name and thy allegiance, or draw thy last breath!” “Oh please,” I scoffed. “You’re blind. You won't land a hit on me before I burn a hole through your head. How about, you, tell me, your name?” “Ha! To imagine anypony in the realms who knoweth not the names of all those sired by King Solarus! I asketh again, and for the last time; thy name, what is it, mage?” She demanded. Oh. Great. An entitled noble. Joy. Thoroughly nettled by the thought of having to deal with what could be a princess playing dress up, and realizing she might actually try to run me through. And if she did, since I’d then piss off a King, I decided to tell her what she wanted to know, but also antagonize her. Just a bit. I decided to use the first nickname I could think of. “Well, Moonbutt, when you put it like that... I’m not a mage, just a woman using a portal device, and my name is Lyra. I have no idea what any of the local squabbles might be, as I have absolutely no clue where I am other than a place where armed nobles threaten travelers.” The look on her face was priceless, but also probably a major indication that I’d fucked up. Gritting her teeth, the mare growled. “If I were any other pony, I would not stand for that insult! Thou art fortunate I greatly despise those who useth their power against the common folk. While I see thy side of this matter, thou should knoweth better than to materialize without warning!” “Yeah, and you should know better than to aim a weapon at a retired veteran! I almost killed you!” I shot back. Moonbutt, as I decided I would continue calling her, pulled her halberd back, holding the weapon point up and sliding down to stand on three legs, cradling it with her fourth leg. “My most humble of apologies, I didst not mean to insult a warrior, much less one returning home. Within this chest, there is a soul that counts thou its creditor for thy service, without intention of the side thee fought for,” she said, extremely confusingly. “Uh… I don’t exactly speak your language very well,” I informed, figuratively scratching my head as I tried to work out how my translator botched it that badly. “I can heareth that quite well,” Moonbutt said in a ‘no duh’ tone. “Oh. Didst thee not understandeth what I hath said?” “I did not understand,” I clarified. I watched as she put a hoot to her mouth in thought, before rephrasing herself and speaking a little slower. “I thank you for serving as a warrior, and I doth not care what side thou fought on, only that thou hath chosen to protect thy fellow pony.” “Oh. Uh, thanks?” I stammered, taken aback at the second part of her statement. “That’s a really weird way of thinking you have there, Moonbutt.” Her ears lay back as I used the nickname again. “The Third Thaumaturgy War was a pointless clash of political ideals. It should not hath happened. Thus, I appreciate all who fought in it as I cared not who wonneth, only that it ended swiftly. Doth thou truly not knoweth mine name?” Ah, so whenever I was they just had a real clusterfuck of a war. That meant this place was unstable, and probably dangerous with desperate, displaced people and former mercs turned bandit running about. Great… “Nope, not a clue. I’m not even a pony,” I replied. “You’re not a changeling, art thee?” Moonbutt asked. “What, the bug-people? No. I’m a human, we live…far from here,” I said, hoping that explanation would suffice. After all, Mysuki had said magic worked like science, meaning a medieval people probably only had a crude understanding of it. I couldn’t expect her to know multiverse theory. “I has't nev'r heard of thy species before… I wish thee luck in returning home. Thou must beest very far from home,” Moonbutt said sincerely. “I am Baronetess Luna Solarus, His Majesty King Solarus’ second oldest daughter. Well… Second oldest illegitimate daughter.” So that’s what her name was! Unfortunately for her I liked the nickname better. “That’s rough. At least your species seems to treat illegitimate offspring better than mine. I mean, you’ve got some pretty expensive looking armor,” I mused. “Nay, mine sister and I art merely fortunate… Our mother is father's Champion, thither is little the nobility could doth to remove that Lady from his service. Especially with the current want for skilled warriors. Thus, we remain…loosely attached to the Royal Family,” she explained. I had to physically bite my tongue to prevent myself from laughing. The pony girl said nay! Hehehe! Wow Lyra… Immature much? Eh, fuck it, it’s funny. “But enough talk of me, what of thee? Thou mentioned a portal device and seemeth most lost, art thee failing to useth the magic properly?” She asked as I took too long to respond. “Yeah, it’s broken. A…magician rigged it to make me more likely to arrive near someone who could fix it. But I’m still stuck wandering around,” I said, realizing that with a medieval post-war world, one of the few safe places would be with a noble. “You wouldn’t mind letting me stay in your keep for a day or two would you? Once this thing recharges, I’ll be moving on.” Moonbutt nodded. “But I can doth far more than simply giveth thee a place to rest for a short while.” “Oh yeah? And what’s that?” I asked. “My…esteemed, sister is a unicorn, and is quite skilled with sourcery. Enough to hath caught the eye of the most wondrous Starswirl the Bearded, who hath madeth her his apprentice,” Moonbutt explained, smiling at me as if I should know that name. “Though I am not his student, he and I art on valorous terms. If 't be true I hath asked, that gent would most likely help thee properly repair thy artifact.” I winced behind my helmet. The way she had said ‘esteemed’ might as well have fired a rocket into the sky trailing a 5 mile by three mile banner reading ‘Family problems’. On the other hand… It might be a good idea to see some sort of mage. Even if magic was more primitive, they could probably at least help with the radon problem. There had to be a catch though. “That would definitely be helpful. What do you want from me?” I asked in what I hoped she would take as a business professional tone. “I am on a quest to render aid to the citizens of a hamlet,” Moonbutt informed. “Those gents cameth to mine father in ope court to plea for aid in stopping bandits plaguing their community. Unfortunately, mine father hath chosen to ignore sworn duties because; ‘We lack the troops to spare for a community of as little import as yourse’. I tooketh offense to this, and an argument ensued. “At the end of which, mine father hath said, ‘Fine, then you go and stop the bandits!’ and so I replied, ‘Perhaps I wilt!’, and thusly he retorted, ‘Good! If it will get you out of my mane for five minutes, do it!’ and thus, now I travel the next few leagues to the bandit’s lair in order to empiken their heads. “Aid me in rendering this justice and I shalt in turn assist thee with thy quest, Miss Lyra.” “That’s well and good… But there’s a fatal flaw in your ‘plan’ there, Moonbutt,” I said, feeling the need to state the obvious. “You’re blind.” Her ears flicked back in indignation as I used the nickname again. “Thou art not going to useth mine proper name, art thee?” “You had the chance for that. You had it, and you blew it,” I teased. “Seriously though, I like your style, but I really don’t think it would be wise to head off to fight an unknown number of bandits with a blind pony as my only ally.” Moonbutt reared back up onto her rear legs, and held her halberd in a ready but non-threatening stance. “Aye, I can not see. Though mine mother’s blood hath granted me the hearing of a Thestral, and mine sister and I art being trained to one day taketh ov'r her position as the King’s Champion. If 't be true thee wish for evidence of mine skill-at-arms, draweth a blade and thou shalt has't it.” “Noob question, what’s a Thestral?” I asked, holding up a finger in a ‘just a moment’ gesture I realized was lost on her the moment I used it. “Uhm… Thou hast not seen a Thestral? Second most numerous pony kind. Bat wings. Fluffy ears. Pointy teeth. Thou must has't seen at least one, didst thou not knost the name?” She asked, honestly shocked. “Ah! Yeah, sorry. Again, this isn’t my native language.” I lied, not wanting to cause any problems. “Ah, well. Now thee knoweth,” she said with a satisfied nod. “So long as a foe maketh a sound, I can findeth him. I has't mine limitations, but I am quite accomplished as a duelist. I see little reason wherefore I wilt not fare well in other forms of combat.” Ah fucking hell! She thought she could hack it in real combat because she was good in a dueling arena? Whelp, this mare was dead as fuck. Unless I carried her ass through or talked her out of it of course. And with Moonbutt’s paladinyness... Yeah, no... “... Three for three…” I muttered to myself in English. “Most humble of apologies, I fear I don’t speaketh thy language,” Moonbutt informed irritably, “Didst thou agree to aid me?” “Yeah, I’ll lend you a hand. Provided the number of bandits is something two people can reasonably overcome. Only fools rush in against the odds,” I warned, hoping the warning would take. “Ha! Thither art but fifteen of the brigands, and not a unicorn amongst those folk,” Moonbutt scoffed. “Their sourcery wilt thus beest weak, shoulds’t those gents has't any at all, and their numbers art not so large as to prevent us from picking those folk off one at a time as we circle their lair.” “Oh good! I, um, well I had figured you would charge in with a war cry,” I admitted bashfully. “I may beest inexperienced in field combat, but I am not a fool. I doubt I could taketh more than five ponies in open combat,” she said honestly. “Between the two of us, if we thin their numbers I am confident we two skilled warriors can accomplish this task set before us! Less so that I could do't on mine own… But tis best to kicketh the bucket honorably than to forsake one’s duties. Beest on thy way if thee so chooseth, but knoweth I would appreciate your…weapon of choice at mine side,” she pleaded in a hopeful yet desperate tone. I felt bad for Moonbutt. She seemed to be trapped in an honor system which made your word your bond, and of such moral fiber that she wouldn’t lose honor for the sake of the not-die. At the same time, I kind of envied her. It was an odd sort of emotion to both pity and envy someone for the same aspect of their character. I took a deep breath and weighed my options one final time. I could abandon her and wait it out, moving on in a few days thus gaining nothing but not risking my own life. Or I could help her, and by proxy some villagers, and gain possible help from a skilled wizard. The sane person would take that first option. But on the other hand, I needed to manage the radon issue, and it would be nice to find out what was up with Bon. Also Moonbutt asked for help nicely… “Okay, I’m in,” I decided, nodding slightly. “Er, that means I will help you.” “Huzzah! We wilt deliver justice to those rogues and returneth home with the glory of having fulfilled our quest!” Moonbutt cheered. “Don’t get cocky,” I warned. “We sti-” Moonbutt gave me the weirdest look ever. Literally. I have never seen a weirder look on someone's face. And the amazing thing was I could only see her mouth, nose, and cheeks! “What on Equis doest this has't to do with poultry?” She asked, pleading for an explanation. I facepalmed, groaning inwardly. “It’s an expression amongst Humans. Basically, don’t expect to just succeed. Real combat isn’t like a duel, there are no rules your opponent will follow. I don’t think we have time for me to train you, but as long as you watch your ass, um…I mean butt, and don’t focus on only one thing, you’ll probably make it.” “Ah… I would we hadst time to teachest thee to speaketh properly. I imagine thee could giveth me a gross amount of advice… I wast not allowed to serveth with his Majesty's Army in the war,” Moonbutt lamented. “War isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, Moonbutt…” I muttered. “Yeah, the protecting others is nice, but the job itself breaks a lot of people.” “I knoweth, and I am of the opinion that tis the strong’s duty to shield the weak from such things. I has't faced death in the arena, I understandeth that fear. I doth not cower where it comes for me,” Luna insisted. “That’s… not what I meant,” I sighed. “Let’s just get this over with. I’m not eager to fight… But you are right. It is the strong’s job to protect the weak. So, where are we headed?” “This way,” Moonbutt announced, dropping to all fours, expertly tucking her halberd beneath a wing to hold it, and marching off through the forest. “Um, are you sure?” I asked in concern. “Of course I am sure. All pegasi knoweth whither the north lies. The lair is south by southwest five leagues from Ponyville. I has't hath walked four thousand four hundred and two score steps, and so I must walketh two thousand and threescore more,” she said confidently enough for me to trust her. “Besides, with thee at mine side, we now has't eyes with which to see, should their directions not beest precise.” “Well, so long as you are sure…” I said falling into step alongside the armored pony. We walked through the cedar trees in silence for a while. Long enough for me to appreciate the endless rows of towering red trees and the dappled green light washing over the sea of ferns and bushes speckling the forest floor, along with the occasional snatch of birdsong and babbling of unseen brooks. Long enough to come to appreciate them, and then get really bored of them. I thought you were supposed to enjoy nature. That’s what everyone had always told me, basically saying ‘Oh yeah! Pre-meteor nature was the shit! Hottest nightclub on Earth!’ As far as I could tell, this same effect could be achieved by decorating your apartment with a random speckling of AR assets bought from some shop or another. No wonder humans built towns, homes, and invented landscaping! Our silent trek was long enough for me to realize that Sai had been oddly silent. He’d been quite talkative before, but the second Moonbutt here had opened her mouth he’d shut the fuck up faster than a private who just back talked their drill sergeant. Why? Was there a reason? Or simply some sort of ‘don't interrupt the organics’ protocol? Feeling like the curiosity would provide some relief for the tedium of walking through the seemingly repeating swath of trees, I flipped the manipulator’s cover back and tapped it’s surface. “Hey, Sai. Buddy, you there?” I asked. Nothing… Though the interface read Three Percent Power remaining, so he hadn’t died or anything. “I’m sorry, didst thee sayeth something?” Moonbutt asked, looking over her shoulder at me. “Uh, yeah. The portal artifact I use can talk, but he’s been oddly quiet. I was wondering why, thought I would ask him,” I said casually. “Ah, I see. Such artifacts are…fickle. I once saw a sword what hadst been granted the power of speech. It would oft falleth into periods of silence. Perhaps that is simply the nature of such magic. A pitty, I would enjoy a companion I could taketh everywhere with me,” she said, hinting at a desire to talk, I supposed. “I wouldn’t mind talking for a while, though we should be quiet when approaching their camp,” I offered. Cheer.ly reported. Wait a minute, it hadn't already been higher than that? I was understanding her pretty well. Huh... “Good!” She happily exclaimed before bouncing into a chattering spiel. “I not oft receiveth to experience companionship. Mother’s training is…somewhat exclusionary of other ponies. It’s at each moment a delight to wend into town and strike up a conversation with somepony. I has't a tavern which I… Well... Frequent is not the right word, but I am thither at all hour I can beest there. In earnest it doth feel more like home than home itself.” I chuckled and nodded, which made me wonder if I should verbally inform her of my gestures. And also curious as to how she could sense a strike coming via hearing. “I know what you mean. My own home is not very homy. I spent a lot of time in the bar on base, everyone on the staff there knew me pretty well, and I know all of them except the new guy,” I replied. “Still…you have a sister. She’s undergoing the same training, right? So I’m sure you have someone to talk to, even if you are not exactly friends.” Moonbutt’s ears lay back angrily. “To sayeth mine sister and I art friends is to misunderstand everything about us. Not to sayeth we art enemies, but we most forsooth doth not keep good company betwixt us, and she can’t understandeth why… It’s rather simple, she’s the perfect one. Every birthday, every Hearth's Warming, all of the attention goeth to Celestia! It’s because she isn’t damaged, I just knoweth that is the reason.” Ohhhhh boy. Here we fucking go… I braced for impact. “I’m sure that you know that you being blind is a major disadvantage, especially in an civilization that can’t just fix the problem-” I began. “Aye, I do!” She interrupted. “And I knoweth that’s wherefore those gents giveth that lady the best of everything and all the attention the lady wanteth. I hadst to beg and plead for mother to train me, while she just gaveth Celestia the honor of one day holding her position. As if 'twer true it wast she and not I who love our mother the most… Celestia doesn't coequal honor our mother by keeping that lady accent and dialect. The lady useth the realm’s manners of speech instead!” “Y-you mean you're intentionally speaking like that?” I asked. “Aye, and if 't be true thou has't a problem with that, I care not to heareth about it,” Moonbutt grumbled. “I has't madeth mine choice to honor mine mother and her ancestors.” “Fair enough,” I replied, not wanting to start anything, or at least, not enough to actually start something. “I’m sorry you’ve had it rough. I’m sure there are some things you have that she’s jealous of too though.” Moonbutt sighed and nodded. “Aye, but I don’t understandeth why she envies father's uncaringness at which hour I chooseth to visit mine tavern of choice. That gent refuses to alloweth her to wend thither, odd, given the lady can otherwise seemingly doth as she pleases… I’d visit the Scarlet Stable coequal if't be true Celestia could, I truly enjoy it, but the fact she’s not allowed to wend maketh ‘t that much better. Heh.” “Well there you go then! You got at least one thing to yourself,” I said with a slight smile. “I really meant in terms of abilities though.” “Ah! I see,” she mused. “Well, I am much more skilled than the lady is in games of strategy. I didn’t tryeth to compete with her thither, I simply enjoy such things. I suppose while the lady enjoys to readeth her tomes, I enjoy a nice game of chess.” Her ears perked suddenly, a nearly visible ping of excitement running through the mare. “Strewth! Thy species must has't games I has't not hath heard of! ‘twould beest much more pleasant to discuss those folk instead of mine sister.” I nodded. “I have to agree there… I don’t think anyone likes to talk about family problems with acquaintances.” “Aye, tis true… Well, what sort of games doth thy kind playeth? Has't thee hath heard of chess?” Moonbutt prompted. “Yeah, but I was never really into chess. I prefer more complicated strategy games… Sims are some of my favorites, especially the Stellarus series. Man the later games in that series get crazy!” I exclaimed fangirlishly, before realising that the girl would have absolutely no idea what i was even talking about. “Sims? What sort of game is that?” She asked almost immediately. How to explain this to someone with only medieval knowledge? No, that wasn’t true… Medieval knowledge plus magic. Ah ha! There was the means. “My people’s games use magic to create a fake world in which the game takes place,” I explained. “That allows us to well…instead of moving a simple piece of shaped stone to play chess, you could actually speak commands and see illusions of people moving to follow your order. We call these ‘simulations’ or ‘sims’ for short.” “If I am understanding thee correctly, thy games art something like how ponies describe books? A thing which maketh a world for thee to enjoy?” She asked. I nodded. “Yeah! Exactly like that. Especially because they have a ton of different genres, and even purposes. We have games for fun, games for training real world skills, games for experimenting with scientific concepts to help further research… Hell, humans love games.” “I don’t suppose thee carryeth any on you… Doth thee?” Moonbutt asked hopefully. “I would rather like to experience such a thing.” “Er…” Now here was the hard part… How exactly do you explain the concept of local storage to someone? Even with magic… “Well, yes… But I can’t play any with you. It’s like… It’s like a dream that can be shared, but only between humans. The ‘magic’ is in our minds, stored there until we want to play it. If you were a human I could easily send you a ‘copy’ of any game in my ‘library’ and we could play. But that’s not the case… Sorry.” “Like a dream?” She asked, sounding hopeful. “Yeah. It uses the same brain activity as dreaming. Why?” I returned. “The talent bestowed upon me by my cutiemark allows me to enter the Dream Realm and influence it. If you would not mind, perhaps when we next sleep I could try to enter your dreams and play a game or three with you?” She asked, giving me what i was sure were bambi eyes behind her blindfold. Enter dreams? Shit, at some point I needed someone to explain to me what magic’s limits were. That said, eh, what the hell. Why not? It’s not like she could fuck anything up in there. I had my firewalls and Cheer.ly to keep people from messing with my brain… And also the military defense upgrades. “Sure. If you can get in there, go right ahead,” I permitted. “Excellent!” She cheered, stopping walking to do an absolutely fucking adorable little hoof-hoppy-dance-thing. “Er, thou would beest accompanying me in thy dream, of course. Doth thou has't any favorite games? t would beest most rude of me to force thee into something thee disliked.” I laughed. “I don’t keep anything I hate in here. Why would I?” “A fair point, to beest sure. However, I would still like to knoweth an answer to mine question,” Moonbutt pressed. I thought about her question for a minute. It was honestly kind of hard to pick a favorite game. I had played a lot of them in my life. Most of my job had been sitting on my ass in space waiting to get shot at. So Bonbon I and I had filled a lot of that time keeping an ear out for passive radar pings and playing all kinds of games. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t have a favorite. I’d play anything which allowed me to explore and have an adventure. Bonbon though, she’d had preferences and favorites. She’d especially loved shooters, finding an odd pleasure in experiencing an idea of what it would be like to have an organic-type body instead of an AI platform. Deciding to use Bonbon’s favorite as the requested example. “Well, probably Fallout Thirteen. I used to play it a lot with a friend. She had wanted to know what the world was like outside of our cities, so well, I figured the post-apocalyptic sandbox type game was a good approximation. “In the game you take on the role of a settler, seeking to establish a farming village in the middle of a vast wasteland, devoid of civilization. It’s total anarchy, no government to be found, no rules, no laws. Only you, those you trust, and the need to survive. Which sounds depressing and like it wouldn’t be much fun, except the game lets you be a hero. “See, your fellow settlers need to be protected from all manner of things, and as you progress through the game by hunting down threats to the community, your reward is seeing the ragtag group of settlers become a thriving community. The whole game revolves around the creation of a city in the middle of this nothingness, and you and anyone playing co-op with you are the whole reason any of it could happen.” “That sounds far more appealing than I could ever desire to convey to thee,” Moonbutt exclaimed in awe. “Yep! You hit the nail on the head there, Moonbutt,” I chuckled. Yeah it would be REALLY hard to explain the gratification an ARG provided to someone who hadn't played one before. The pegasus sighed sadly. “Art thee very much going to calleth me by that name instead of mine proper one?” “Mhm,” I answered, “it’s a human thing. You made me give you a nickname. So now that’s what I call you.” “I can hardly believe that any culture would useth any such system,” she muttered. “Hey, it’s stupid, but it’s what we do.” I said defensively. “Even if the nickname is created just to spite someone in the first place, if it sticks, it sticks. My squadron called me ‘Piper’ for my whole career in the military, why? Because I brought in my bagpipes to play one time towards the beginning of my time in the service. Sort of wish I brought my lyre instead. Would have been interesting to see them work out a nickname for something so close to my real name. Heh.” “Ah! Humans useth nicknames as a form of comradery?” She asked, a hint of intrigue accompanying her words. “Yeah! That’s one thing we do with them,” I admitted, neglecting to point out that we used them as a way to distance ourselves from others too… Man we’re a paradoxical species! “In that case, I am honored thou calleth me a friend,” Moonbutt thanked. “Uh, well, more like acquaintances right now. But you’re nice, I can see us becoming friends if you survive this mess you’ve gotten yourself into,” I said decisively. “I understand fully,” she sighed. “I suppose t’would beest motley-minded to become too attached to someone thou just hath met ere for a battle… A moment! Didst thee sayeth ‘your squadron’? Can thee fly? If't be true we can both cometh out from the air-” “I’m going to cut you off right there,” I interrupted, “humans can not fly on our own. We have vehicles which can fly. I piloted one of them.” Her ears feel sadly. “Oh… I don’t suppose thou has't one of these craft on thee? Or a way to summon one?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Ha! Oh man. If only! I can see it now, we come in low out of the rising sun, put on some Wagener to scare the hell out of ‘em, pass overhead once, and leave behind nothing but scorched ash.” Hehehe… Medieval bandits vs 22rd century air-space superiority fighter-bomber. Oh man, that would be hilarious! A real ant-boot situation. “Then…art thee eke trained for ground combat?” Moonbutt asked in concern. “Mhm. All troops in our army get basic training, commando training, and then specialized training,” I replied. “Don’t you worry about me. I’m mostly worried about you. Duels are one thing, open warfare is another.” “So I have been told, but-” Moonbutt cut her sentence short, a half second later saying quietly. “I can heareth talking ahead, and we has't about six hundred steps to wend. We art close.” “Understood… Stay here, I’m going to do a little recon,” I ordered. “Do a little what?” She asked. “I’m going to go and see what we have to deal with, and report back to you,” I explained with a sigh. “Oh! Yes… Other ponies can do that,” Moonbutt muttered abashedly. I shook my head and gave Bon a nudge, prompting her to climb down and then realized that Moonbutt here had no idea that I even had a snake. That could be bad. “Okay, so… You’re blind. Which means you have no idea that I have been carrying my pet python,” I warned. “I’m putting her down so I can move more easily. If you feel a snake touch you, please don’t hurt her, she’s harmless.” “A snake? She’s not venomous, is she?” She asked fearfully. “Nah, she’s a constrictor, also you're probably too big for her to eat, and she’s been fed recently. You’re fine. She might cuddle though,” I warned again. “... Alright, but if she attacks me, I wilt defend myself,” Moonbutt warned back. I almost walked away, satisfied with her answer. But then something occurred to me. Bon had always been smart, but now she was getting scary smart. Bending down to look Bon in an eye I pointed to Luna. “Hon, she won't attack you. So you don’t attack her.” Bon nodded… Again. Okay. “I- I think we’re good,” I informed a confused Moonbutt, then headed off into the forest. I ducked down and began a slow advance in the direction we had been walking. Sticking behind objects that occlude the enemy's sightline. Crouch walk most of the way, crawl the rest. Move so as to minimize nose. The usual. No big deal. I was hoping that their camp was not made within the trees themselves, and fortunately it was not. The camp was set up in a small clearing, maybe three hundred feet across. It had been made recently, if the stumps were anything to go by, and the wood had been used to make a timber wall around the camp that was just about chest high on me. That wall would definitely mean a pony would need to go through the one entrance I could see. I could probably quickly vault over it if I had to though. Looks like species my size were rare here. From what I could see over the wall and through the gate the camp itself had been there for some time, crates and other things were piled around some large canvas tents. After giving my helmet a zoom command, I was able to notice a few other details, like the arrow slits in the walls, and the scattered junk laying around the crates. As well as the pair of griffons who walked past the gate. I’d read about griffons in Mysuki’s library. By all accounts, they had been a savage species in the past… I honestly hoped that wasn’t true for this universe. Mostly because I’d always liked griffons as a fantasy species. It would be cool to meet a real one. Wanting to get a full view of the camp’s interior, I crawled to my left to change angle. This granted me a view of the center of their camp. In particular a large cooking fire with a cauldron hung over it. And also a few wooden stakes. On which some of the bandit’s victims had been impaled. Including what I presumed was a child. And the nearby cart which was loaded up with more stakes. Indicating they planned to move their impaled victims, probably to intimidate whatever village those poor bastards came from. Unfortunately for them, they had just firmly established the reality of this situation for me. And seriously pissed me right the fuck off! Ohhh man… Moonbutt, if you had told me these were the impaling children sort of people, I would not even have hesitated too- “You there! In the bushes! Come out or take an arrow in yeer eye!” Someone shouted. Fuck! Of course they would have patrols! What the hell gave my position away? My suit was camouflage colors only! Oh… right… The jade green and gold jacket. Derp! I turned to look at the voice’s origin. A normal pony, twenty five feet away. Dark brown fur, patch of white on the nose, urine yellow mane and tail. He stood there with a crossbow pointed in my direction, and an actual goddamn necklace of ears like some kind of Vietnam War psycho! Ear! Necklace! I felt something snap inside as I stood up. Careful calculation just wasn’t going to happen. Rage flooded my system way too much to do anything other than attack. The bandit’s ears drooped as I stood up, clearly distracted and intimidated by my height. I drew my pistol, he fired, bolt whizzing past me into the forest. A lucky miss for me, unlucky for him. I wasn’t so far gone as to forget to call for Moonbutt’s help. Unfortunately I was too pissed to think of anything to say. Fortunately, just before the moment passed, Cheer.ly came to my rescue with a list of movie quotes. Quickly turning on my helmet’s voice-amp I announced. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass.” My helmet dropped the gold tinted visor down, picking up on my emotional state and assuming combat was in progress. Ear Necklace drew a bolt from his saddlebag and began to frantically reload his crossbow. I took six steps forward and raised my gun, aiming it squarely at his face. “And I’m all outta bubblegum.” I finished, firing six bolts into the bandit point blank.