Tough Love: Luna vs. Celestia
Part 5: Horn and Scroll
CRACK went a bolt of magic near Celestia’s head. “Six-four-two!” Barked Luna, standing to one side. Celestia tossed her head, slashed, and then parried an invisible attacker. CRACK went another spark of magic sent to her by Princess Luna. “Seven-two-five!” The white alicorn whinnied, parried again, then flailed her front hooves like a warhorse. “And lunge!” Celestia turned, flailed her wings, and split a boulder in twine with the sheer force of her pressing horn! It crumbled into pieces. The sun Princess stood there, a wry smile rising on her face. CRACK, a spark of magic pressed into her side and she yelped. Celestia suddenly turned and made an angry leap at Luna! The Princess’ tangled briefly, horns alight until Luna overpowered her. Sticking her head rudely under her sister’s undercarriage she flipped her over onto her back. Celestia landed painfully and lay there, panting. Luna’s horn poked her sibling’s soft underbelly a few times. “Fight with your head, sister, not your heart.” She offered her hoof and pulled her upright. Cracking her neck one way, then the other, Luna strode a short distance from her sunny partner. “Let’s go again.” She turned about, her horn lighting with black magicks. She was smiling.
Celestia rose, lighting her horn with fresh and powerful magic. Suddenly it was like a bizarre lightsaber duel, their horns being the only thing lighting the training grounds they stood upon. Luna’s guards looked on in awe while the alicorns danced back and forth, their horns crashing into each other like swords. Their strikes at each other sent bolts of stray magic crackling back and forth through the air, sending pain through the recipients until they were both sweaty and panting. Celestia saw she couldn’t just keep aiming at her sister’s horn, or she would never do any damage at all. In a sudden burst of speed she struck her sister in the chest with her front hooves, overpowered her with momentum and jabbed her shoulder with her glowing horn. Luna cried out and tumbled to the ground, smoking where she’d been struck. “I did it…” Celestia said, shocked at herself as her sister slowly righted herself and rubbed the sore shoulder. “I managed to hit you!”
“Yes, very good.” Luna chuckled, wiping her muzzle where dirt had gotten on her. “BUT DON’T STOP!” the night air was concussed with her Royal Canterlot Voice and Celestia dug her hooves in. The dark alicorn charged at her, and the duel continued all the more fiercely.
In the background the two Lunar Stallions, Aegis Shield and Stalwart Hide, were passing popcorn back and forth to each other from a bowl. They’d been told to relax for the evening and watch, but this was better than any coliseum or action movie they’d ever seen. This was a pair of fighting goddesses! They couldn’t keep their eyes off of them. Back and forth the alicorns danced, their horns crashing wildly against each other. They backed up, lowered their horns and made to charge—!
Pop!
A scroll appeared in front of Celestia with a flash of dragon’s flame. “Uh?” she paused. Luna blink-blinked, stopping as well. “It’s the middle of the night, why would Twilight Sparkle be writing to me now?” she mumbled. Their duel paused for a moment as the white alicorn flipped the scroll open and began to read. Luna came, wanting to see too. “Dear Princess Celestia,” though she spoke the words aloud, she could hear her faithful student’s voice. “Today I learned that its never a good idea to run away from your problems. You have to face them head on, even if it means standing up to your friends--” she read on, learning that Twilight Sparkle had gotten into an argument with one of her friends and run away crying into the EverFree Forest. There she’d gotten lost and tired and hungry, suffering until she’d been discovered and nursed back to health by a zebra named Zecora. Twilight had been councilled by the voodoo shaman, and eventually went back to Ponyville where both sides apologized. “Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia wiped the sweat from her brow that had been building up from the exercise and dueling, smiling and rolling up the scroll.
“It seems both of you are getting just a little bit stronger.” Luna smiled at her sister, wiping her brow as well. “When was the last time you saw Twilight Sparkle?” she asked suddenly, cocking her head.
Celestia thought for a moment. “Oh, goodness, I’m not sure. Not since the Royal Wedding!” she said, a little sad at the very thought. She’d been so busy training and getting back into shape, she’d not made time to visit her most precious subject. “That won’t do.” She mumbled, cocking her head.
“I agree, sister.” Luna nodded affectionately, smiling. “You should go and visit her, or have her come visit you at the palace.”
“We could have tea in the Royal Gardens.” Celestia said. “We did that often when she was just a filly.” Her eyes already saw the past and she began to start away to make arrangements, but stopped short and looked at her sister for permission. “Are we finished for the night, Luna? We did get interrupted.”
“Ah, yes, let us be done for now.” Luna smiled. “I can see you already have your heart set on this. I shan’t train you when you’re distracted.” The darker alicorn nodded her approval and Celestia was away with a crack of parted air, teleporting back to the palace. As soon as she was gone, Luna let out a shudder, coming to all four of her knees and holding her shoulder. Hissing just a little, she parted her fur while both Lunar Stallions rushed to her aid. While they nosed her and nickered with worry, she showed them the bruising under her dark fur. “Go to the training ground medical hut, Aegis Shield.” She said with a huff. “Fetch me a soothing balm.” The stallion nodded and galloped away. “Stalwart Hide.” She bade the other stallion. “See if I have anything else I’m not feeling yet.” Stalwart Hide inspected his Princess with a critical eye, pausing occasionally to brush at her fur. He found a couple of nicks, but little else to be spoken about. When he shook his head, she sighed in relief. “My sister is getting stronger. Much stronger.” She smiled a little devilishly, but looked up when Aegis Shield returned with the balm she’d asked for. Unscrewing the top with his mouth, he got a small blob and rubbed it generously into her bruised shoulder. “Hynn…” she purred softly.
“Do you think she will surpass you, your majesty?” asked Aegis Shield.
“HAH!” Luna burst into cruel laughter, shaking her head. “No no, I think not!” The stallion blushed at her, suddenly embarrassed. “I trained alone, to the point of madness, on the moon for a thousand years, my stallion. A couple of months of exercising is nothing compared to that. My sister will never be as strong as I.”
“Did you let her hit you?” Stalwart Hide wanted to know, still pawing through her fur to check for any other injuries. Luna glanced at him with a frown, her eyes cool and calculating for a long time. “Forgive me, your Majesty.” He said quickly, averting his eyes from hers.
“I shall forgive you, Stalwart Hide, if you will kiss it and make it better.” Luna said playfully to lift his spirits. The stallion chuckled affectionately, leaning around Aegis Shield and pecking her Majesty’s shoulder. Luna giggled delightedly, heaving a grunt of effort and coming back to her hooves. “Come, we still have a few hours to enjoy the night before the dawn comes.” The dark alicorn smiled at her two guards. “Fetch my chariot, we shall ride among the stars for a bit and enjoy this starry night.” With a flick of magic she summoned her travelling cloak. “My sister shall enjoy herself for tonight—and train all the harder later.” She snickered. Both stallions nodded, galloping to go and fetch her vehicle from its resting place. “She deserves the company of friends.”
=-----=-----=-----=
The next morning tea time with Twilight Sparkle was going very, very well. After the initial shock of the Princess’ pink mane, Twilight had lavished her beloved ruler with compliments about her sleek physique and rather youthful new look. This, of course, made Celestia feel even better. The training was paying off, and even her most faithful student was taking notice. Smiling more broadly than her usual bemused and neutral smile, she lifted her teacup to her lips and sipped while the conversation veered this way and that. Of course she didn’t tell Twilight Sparkle that she was participating in combat training, merely that she’d been taking better care of herself lately.
“You seem to be developing into quite the lovely mare as well, my faithful student.” Celestia complimented with a tinkling chuckle. “The stallions of Ponyville must have their work cut out for them.”
“Oh-h, w-well…” Twilight flushed red in her cheeks, looking to one side. Celestia knew that Twilight’s bookish ways usually kept her from looking at stallions at all, but it didn’t hurt to give her a little prod now and then. Maybe she would be lucky one day. “Th-there is this one stallion…” she murmured into her tea.
“Oh?” Celestia said with interest. She made a show of checking around to make sure nopony was listening. There were no guards within forty feet of them, so the white alicorn lowered her voice conspiratorially. “Do tell, Twilight.” She smiled. The purple unicorn’s ears turned back and she wilted with embarrassment, mumbling a little. Celestia cocked her ears to listen, but could barely hear her. “He’s handsome, yes?” she offered a bread crumb to get the ball rolling.
“O-oh yes.” Twilight said with a goofy smile as she saw the stallion in her mind’s eye. “And big. Very big.” She turned a bit redder, her face matching the color of the stallion in question that she was crushing on.
Reaching to salvage the conversation while her student squirmed, Celestia offered up her own thoughts. “I’ve had a coltfriend or two, through the ages, myself.” She smiled at Twilight’s shocked look. “Haha, what?” she sipped her tea. “I’m centuries old, Twilight, but I’m still a mare. It’s nice to be fussed over when I’m not on a throne.” The purple unicorn giggled a little, despite herself. “Just be sure to tell me in your reports if you do end up pairing up with anypony.” Celestia said teasingly.
“I will.” Twilight promised shyly, smiling.
Celestia’s ears turned when she heard a shrill-tuned whistling. Cocking her head, she peeked over the hedge that surrounded the picnic table where she visited with her student. Her eldest gardener, the scruffy stallion called Green Thumb, was watering a flowerbed and singing with the birds. Or rather, drowning a flower bed. He seemed to be too busy admiring his feathered friends to notice he was drowning a grouping of mums on a patch of raised earth. Those plants had been put there by the late Flower Power, a mare that had died of old age a few decades ago (and Celestia’s finest gardener to date). Unbeknownst to anypony Flower Power herself was buried a few feet under that particular patch, resting peacefully in her own garden. Celestia often mused that she still helped the flowers grow, such a beautiful mare… At the rate he was going, Green Thumb might wash the earth away and reveal the poor thing’s remains, though! The white alicorn winced a little, but wiped the expression when she turned around. “Excuse me just a moment, Twilight. I’ll be right back.” She rose from the stone picnic table, and bade her guards to stay put to watch over her student.
Working her way through the hedges, the Princess poked her head out of the picnic area and into the park-like portion of the gardens. The squirrels and other little animals gathered on branches, and she smiled to them as she always did. She did love the little woodland creatures. Green Thumb saw her coming and quickly pulled the sprig of hay from his teeth. “Why, Princess! Good mah’rnin’.” He said, chuckling at nothing at all while the hose continued to run on the poor mums.
“Hello, Green Thumb.” Celestia smiled gently. “I was having tea nearby, and noticed that you seem to be drowning Flower Power’s memorial mums just a bit.” She said in a non-scolding sort of way. “Would you mind moving on, just bit? They’re small and rather unsturdy plants in that raised patch.”
Twilight Sparkle peeked up over the hedges. She wasn’t close enough to hear the conversation, but a giant white alicorn was hard to miss so she zeroed in on the Princess with ease.
“Don’choo wuh’reh about a thing, Princess! Let the expert handle it!” Green Thumb said, returning the sprig of hay to his teeth and not moving from where he stood. A bird landed atop his patch-covered hat and he chuckled, batting it away playfully.
Celestia frowned, her brow arching just a little. “That particular patch is rather precious to me, my little pony.” She said a little less gently. “I’m sure there are other parts of the garden that need your skilled attentions.” She offered with a sweeping hoof. She watched the mud flow this way and that. Though Flower Power herself was six feet under, Celestia did NOT like the idea that her resting place was being disturbed by the daft gardener.
“Gardening is my special talent, dun’cha worry!” The rather thick Green Thumb brushed her off with a smarmy smile, whistling to the nearest birds. “This place don’t look this amazing ‘cuz you’ve got an amateur here! Heh-eh-eh!”
Was he actually defying her? “I must--” Celestia paused, scowling rather openly as magic gathered into her horn. A small crackle of magic cut the hose, way back at its source at the spicket. “Insist!” She said with a bit more force. The stallion looked up at her, then to his severed hose. He felt the limpness on the other end. Twilight Sparkle cocked her head, frowning a little. “Move to a different portion of the royal gardens, Green Thumb.” She leaned forward just a little bit aggressively. Slowly, her wings opened and a very black shadow cast itself upon the stallion. The sun behind her, it turned her into a massive black shape from his perspective. Celestia leaned, neigh, loomed over him for a few horrifying seconds. Her normally pleasant eyes flickered gold. If he’d been a lesser pony, he would’ve wet himself. It is hard to describe, dear reader, how terrifying it can be to look into the angry eyes of a GOD. Merely try to imagine it.
Green Thumb leaned back, his brow rising and sweat going down the side of his face. “Eh-h-hr… sure thing, Princess!” he coiled up his hose and quickly retreated, eager to be out of her sight. Celestia relaxed, smiling pleasantly and folding her wings. When he found the other end, he saw that it was frayed like fabric, now quite useless to ever be used as anything but makeshift rope. “Aww, dangit…” he mumbled, looking over his shoulder at Celestia. The Princess was still looking at him, the same lazy smile on her face. “Eep!” he scrambled away and out of sight.
“I’m so sorry.” Celestia whispered to the mound of earth under which Flower Power lay. Reaching with a touch of solar magic, she helped the water evaporate and flow away. The earth molded, shaped, and bent to her will until the mound of mums became perfect again. “There we are. That’s much better, don’t you think?” she smiled as though at the deceased mare herself, then quickly turned to rejoin her student.
Twilight, who’d watched the whole scene from her perch, quickly raced down and back to the picnic table. She stumbled over her own hooves, pin-wheeled a little, and crashed into it rather painfully. Rubbing her head, she’d just managed to get back up on the stone bench and lift her teacup when Celestia swept back onto the scene. “Princess!” she smiled nervously.
“Sorry about that, Twilight Sparkle. Something needed my attention.” Celestia apologized, lifting herself up onto her seat again. She reached with magic for her teacup, sipping daintily.
“N-no problem!” the purple unicorn smiled. Celestia considered her for a moment. The sudden shift in body language and tone said she’d been watching, despite her telling her to remain there at the table. Ah well. She wouldn’t worry about it for long. Interestingly enough, though, none of the ponies present had sensed the Lunar Stallion watching Celestia from shadow.
=-----=-----=-----=
After having seen Twilight to the Canterlot train station, Celestia walked briskly through the streets of her capital city. Things were going so well lately! She felt good, she looked good, her little ponies looked especially good today too. She paused when she saw a little earth pony filly trying to get her ball out of a tree. Smiling, the Princess paused and got it down for her. “Princess! Thank you!” said the little filly.
“No problem, little one.” She leaned and kissed the top of her head affectionately. Solar magic blessed the child. Good luck would follow her around for a few days, thanks to the potent alicorn magic. The filly scampered off to join her friends who were waiting for her to return with their toy. The Princess smiled to Captain Grey and her other guard, Striking Spear. They beamed at her. They did love it when their Princess was happy, and she seemed much happier lately.
Now, Princess Celestia could do something she loved doing. Even before she started training. She called it shop-lifting. Not stealing, no no. Lifting up a shop with her presence. You see, when a Princess gave her patronage to a particular business, that business’ customer numbers would shoot through the roof for months on end. After all, if you heard that a bookstore was good enough for a Princess, wouldn’t you want to go buy books there? That was how it worked. Celestia loved the concept, even though it was a little vein. After all, if it helped, what was the harm? The white alicorn strode along, smiling to her subjects as she passed shop after store after stand. “Hmm?” Captain Grey gestured, making Celestia turn her head. There on the corner was a sweet shop, and in the window on a display box was a cheesecake! The white alicorn’s face lit up, and she increased her canter to stop in front of the window.
The shop looked just a little bit run down, but there was cheesecake in the window so it could not have been that bad. Smiling grandly at her two guards, Celestia cleared her throat and arranged herself into regal posture. More than a few ponies watched her majesty step into the tiny little shop. “One chilled cheesecake, please. With lots of strawberry sauce drizzled on top.” She bade the shopkeeper, who was half-asleep in a romance novel from lack of customers.
“A whole cheesecake, just for you?” the mare said a little rudely, not looking up from her book.
Celestia frowned and shushed Captain Grey before he barked something obscene at the store owner. Reaching up with a golden horse-shoe’d hoof, she pushed the romance novel down rather firmly so the pony would look at her. “For me, and my two guards.” She smiled from under her bangs, watching the mare go as pale as a sheet.
“Y-y-your Majesty! O-of course! Right away!” she fell all over herself, staggering into the back to go into the cooler for the order. Princess Celestia smiled when she was given her desired treat, paying for it from a small golden purse hidden under her wing.
“You might try to work on your manners a little, perhaps that’s why you’ve not had too many customers lately.” Celestia smiled gently. “May we use one of your tables?” the alicorn took the box with her magic, gesturing.
“S-sure thing!” The mare darted out from behind the counter, rushing to wipe a table down and put a tiny little vase of flowers on it. Right by the window, in the sunshine. Celestia smiled her approval, seating herself and gesturing for her two guards to do the same. The armored stallions sat, peering around a little. They never got to eat with the Princess, this was new. They could see more than a few ponies peering at them curiously from the sidewalk outside, but Celestia ignored them. Forks and little plates appeared on their table while the shopkeeper laid down napkins and such.
Princess Celestia took the cheesecake out of the box and set it in the middle of the table. “This looks divine.” She smiled, eyeing the luscious strawberry drizzle, the chunks of fruit ontop, and the the shine of the flecks of ice on the side of the whole thing. “Beautiful.” She mumbled. Looking up at her two guards suddenly, she chuckled. “Oh, where are my manners?” She lifted a knife by magic and sliced the cheesecake into nine thin slices. Levitating one to each of their plates, she bade them to dig in.
Captain Grey smiled inwardly. Being the Princess’ private guard seemed to have its benefits now and then. How often did you get such a treat, and eat it with royalty? Striking Spear at a little less, not particularly fond of sweet things, but it was only polite. If the Princess was treating them, who was he to turn down such kindness? Princess Celestia opened her mouth, leaning over her cake happily, when CRASH!
Something shattered their window, smooshed her cake and bounced across the room. Captain Grey flipped the table with a roar, turning it into a shield and tackling her Majesty to the ground to cover her with his body. Striking Spear puffed his chest out and, with a cry of battle, pulled a spear from Faust-knew-where to challenge the assassin outside. Leaping forward he smashed through the remainder of the store window in a spectacular explosion of glass. He landed hard and whinnied, rearing up with his spear arm cocked!
A group of five of six foals cowered before him, and one of them was wetting himself. They whimpered and shook like leaves before the armored pony. Striking Spear looked around, then slowly lowered himself, blinking a little. “W-w-we’re sorry, mister solar stallion guard s-sir!” the bravest of the little group said. “W-we didn’t mean t-t-to lose our ball in that window! Please don’t hurt us or throw us in a dungeon!” the group of children quite literally threw themselves upon his mercy and he stood there, looking more than a little annoyed. Peering over his shoulder, he saw the hoofball still rolling across the shop floor. It didn’t take long for the shopkeeper to come boiling out of her door to yell at the foals explosively. “It was just some foals and their hoofball!” he called inside to the Princess and Captain Grey.
Back in the shop, Celestia was on her back with Captain Grey atop her. Both were breathing hard, the stallion crouched over her. Slowly, the Princess turned her head and sighed. Her precious cheesecake was all over the floor, and exactly none of it had gotten into her mouth. Turning to look up at her loyal guard when the danger was seemingly over, her eyes suddenly zeroed in on his nose. There was a fleck of cheesecake on his nose. Leaning up, she licked it right off of him. The brief and glorious flavor of cheesecake washed over her tongue and she moaned a little, happily working her mouth.
Captain Grey launched himself off of the Princess like he’d been struck by lightning, rubbing his nose furiously. “Ahem. The danger is over, your Majesty.” He said, cocking his head in an official way. “I suggest we return to the palace before the media gets ‘hold of this or something.” She could see his wings trembling.
“Very well.” The white alicorn slowly righted herself. She considered asking for another cake, but no, the mood was ruined and the shop would be full of cleaning and repair ponies soon. So much for her shop-lifting and cheesecake. Back on her hooves, she heaved a great breath and sighed. “Back we go, then.” They stopped briefly to collect Striking Spear from the gaggle of foals and the shouting shopkeeper, then headed for home.
End of Part 5