Of Vodka and Cider

by UglyTurnip


Meanwhile, IN SPAAAAAACCCCEEEEEEE

"Gaze upon it, Takeo," Richtofen spoke in awe. "Griffin Station, Group 935's greatest accomplishment. Isn't it wunderbar?"

Takeo gazed ahead a giant glass dome surrounded by laboratories, various vehicles, and automated mining equipment. To his astonishment, the technology was all very much ahead of their time. He silently wondered how an independent research organization afforded so much. The two of them stood about 30 yards away from the edge of the biodome, and the sun shined brilliantly upon Griffin Station. To Richtofen, it was like stumbling upon a castle of gold. Hidden behind his mask, he allowed himself an sinister smile. Everything was proceeding according to plan, now all he needed was a way to fool Takeo.

While he schemed silently, Takeo scanned the perimeter for any zombies. Fortunately, they were the only ones outside. "I have never seen such a place," He replied. "Who paid for all of this?"

"You could say that our deal with the Fuhrer was rather lucrative," Richtofen answered, deciding that there was nothing to gain by lying. "We promised to use Griffin Station for the development of weapons; it was a half-truth."

"I was not aware that Germany had so much money lying around," Takeo prodded.

"Well, we were a priority," Richtofen explained, then moved to change the subject. "But it doesn't matter anyway, Germany surrendered, and the zombie apocalypse came at just the right time to keep this all a secret. I wonder if Groph is still up here, running the tests on the Wave gun. I loved the dinging noise it made when the bodies exploded; they reminded me that my toaster pastries were ready!"

"What?" Takeo raised an eyebrow, forgetting that Richtofen could not see it.

"Nothing important," Richtofen shook his head. "I got a little carried away."

"As you usually do. Can you get in contact with this 'Groph' person?"

"I can try, but there's no guarantee that he's still alive. I'll just switch the comm channel."

Pressing a few buttons on his suit's arm, Richtofen switch his feed to the Griffin Station intercom. "This is the Doctooooorrrrrrr!" He announced in a sing-songy tone. "Is anyone home?"

No response.

"Groph? Are you there?"

He waited in silence for a while before he finally switched back to Takeo. "Dumpkoff is not answering, I'm afraid. That means the station's probably abandoned."

Takeo held back the urge to sigh. He had hoped to team up with a more rational member of Group 935 and kill Richtofen. Now that it was all but confirmed that he was alone, he felt the weight on his shoulders double. "What a shame," He finally said in a slightly mournful tone.

Of course, Richtofen thought differently. Without any other scientists to bother him, he had full reign of the entire station. He would be jumping and skipping with joy, but he felt like he was forgetting something.

Takeo was already making his way to the station. He dropped into a man-made arena that served as a walkway to an outdoor teleporter. Next to him was a perk machine that he did not recognize, but he did notice that it was not lit. The power was off, something so commonplace that it only made Takeo roll his eyes. He had the urge to choke whoever it was that kept turning it off.

He kept his cool, though. "Doctor, looks like the power is out."

Richtofen paused his evil scheming. "Not really a surprise anymore. That also means the life-support and gravity systems are also offline. We'll just have to throw the switch."

"So this whole station's operation relies on one switch? Seems rather foolish."

"I didn't design it, my Japanese friend. I'm a scientist, not an architect."

"Whatever," Takeo said as he approached the door to the upper lab. "Let's get inside."

Richtofen took a running leap to catch up to him. "Ja, good."

It was now beginning to dawn on Takeo just how eerily quiet everything was. Trapped in his pressurized suit, the only sounds he heard were his breathing and Richtofen's chatter. In addition, he was approaching a dark, abandoned space station. The closest human-well sane human, anyway,- was days away by spaceship. Even the lack of zombies didn't help, as Takeo sensed some kind of ambush. For the first time in his adult life, Takeo felt a genuine fear deep in his gut.

The door was automatic, and somehow still operated without any power. Takeo didn't really care to question it at the moment; he was far too busy scanning his immediate surroundings. The upper lab was dark and empty, save for the various offline terminals that lined the walls. The sunlight that squeezed in through the window didn't do a whole lot, but it provided enough light to navigate and work with. Still, Takeo felt uneasy.

He felt around for an M1911, but to his shock, he did not have a weapon other than his bloody combat katana. He held it anyway, feeling as though some strange alien beast would burst through the walls.

"Don't be so paranoid, Takeo," Richtofen jeered as he entered the room. "We're perfectly safe."

"You can never be too careful," Takeo answered. "Can you feel it?"

Richtofen, who had begun to make his way toward the door, paused. "What do you mean?"

Takeo hesitated, eyeing a shadow that was growing behind a large hallway-sized vent across the room. True, he had been excited to fight back on the ship, but now, in this dark room, his judgement was much cautious. "How did this station become abandoned, exactly? Could it possibly be due to zombies?"

Richtofen left the room, but was still able to communicate with Takeo thanks to his suit. "Don't worry, Takeo, this station is completely safe. At most, there may be a few stragglers who died when they were stranded here. You're just a little paranoid."

The being rounded the corner. Of course, it was a zombie, but it was a lone zombie. Takeo waited for it to approach the vent, then he walked over and effortlessly sliced it. No more came, leaving Takeo alone in the room. Perhaps Richtofen was right.

"Throwing the switch!" Richtofen called out just before the room illuminated. Another perk machine illuminated in the corner of the room.

"Power restored! Artificial gravity and life-support online in receiving bay, Tunnel 6, Tunnel 11, Laboratories, Biodome."

"Step one is complete!" Richtofen announced enthusiastically. "Everything is going just as I have forseen. Now, I need to initiate step 2."

"I have a feeling it won't be as easy as step one," Takeo said.

"Actually, Takeo, I'm going to be doing all the work again," Richtofen explained as he entered the room with Takeo. "I need to use the teleporter. You can stay up here and rest, or meditate, or whatever it is that you do in your spare time."

"Where are you going with the teleporter?" Takeo questioned suspiciously.

"Where else?" Replied an unusually happy Richtofen. "I'm going on an adventure through time and dimensions! I gotta get the Focusing Stone and Golden Rod somehow, right? And this may even be a shortcut!" Richtofen laughed to himself. "I'm such a genius."

"And how will this get Nikolai back or stop the zombie apocalypse?" Takeo investigated farther, knowing very well that Richtofen did not care at all about those problems anymore.

There was an awkward pause as Richtofen searched for a sufficient answer. "Uh, you'll just have to trust my word, friend. I shall follow in the footsteps of our dear friend Nikolai and overload the teleporter with electricity; that should allow me to travel back to a different timeline and kill a different version of us."

Takeo was about to point out a flaw in Richtofen's reasoning, as well as the fact that he basically dodged his question, when he heard Samantha's ghostly whisper in his ear.

"Play along, Takeo. Let Richtofen trust you as well as he can. I'll tell you when to backstab him."

"Get out of my head, please," Takeo accidentally said into the comm.

"Oh, you have voices in your head, too? Tell them I say hi!" He said happily before walking out. "I'll be back in a little while, assuming that everything goes according to plan, anyway. Try not to break any windows, OK?"

"Whatever," Uttered Takeo as he took off his helmet and finally got a whiff of clean, sweat-free air. Now that Richtofen had made his way out the door and hopped down into the teleporter, Samantha materialized in the room next to Takeo.

"You know, I'm tired of being everybody's pawn," Takeo admitted.

"Oh, lose the attitude," Samantha replied with minor annoyance. "Do you want to stop him, or not? Just play along for a bit longer, OK?"

"Fine," Takeo conceded. "I think I shall have a look around the station while Richtofen is away. Can you not raise any zombies while I do that?"

"Knock yourself out," Samantha shrugged. "If you need get bored, just yell for me to raise some."

And with that, Samantha vanished, leaving Takeo alone on a moon base.