//------------------------------// // Wasted with Pony #161: Berry Punch. // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// It was Hearths Warming time. While many ponies stayed with their families, or, at least, visited their old families, many of the, how shall we say... lonelier ponies entered a place where they wouldn't be so lonely: the bar. Of course, Deadpool was no exception. Sure, he could go back to Luna and have Christmas themed sex positions with her, but, really, it was- "It's the Middle of May and already, Christmas!" He yelled "This is why I hated Christmas, people. Not because of the strange morality of Santa Clause and how he's part of the NSA, but because it's a glutton of a holiday; Starts whenever it wants, ends whenever it wants." "I agree...baby!" A drunk sounding mare spoke. Deadpool turned to his right to see a dark pink earth pony mare with a darker purple mane & tail, drinking from a tankard. She let out rancid sounding belch. "Another one!" Another Tankard slid down to her. Hold on a minute... Is that-!? Yes. It is. The Bartender was DJ Khaled "Aw f**k me." Deadpool said. "Well... might as well get wasted. Yo! One for me!" A tankard slid to him. He grabbed it and chugged it, finishing with Berry Punch. "Another One." The DJ said, sliding more to them "Another one... another one... another one..." Deadpool and Berry had large piles of Tankard behind them, and they were drunk AF. Deadpool turned to Berry, puking a bit under his mask. "Berry... you alive?" He asked "You're... like... a reverse centaur." Berry turned to him. "You... look like... Ryan Reynalds." She replied. Both laughed uncontrollably, but Deadpool puked again, with... oh god! "Hey... I didn't know I eat d**k... funny." That's... a vibrating... thingy. Heh... we're drunky tooy, stuffee. "I gotta pee." Berry said. She sat down and stared blankly, but smiled. "Not anymore." More Tankards were tossed to them. "Another one!" Khaled. ordered. "Only for you... Jabba teh house." Deadpool said, taking the Tankard and splashing it's beer inside all over his face. To avoid any more confrontation, we will see what Deadpool sees. Deadpool found himself in an Irish pub, wearing a leprechaun outfit himself. All around him, both ponies and various X-Men members stood around, also wearing Irish gear, and music was heard with everyone singing. Deadpool jumped into the middle. "♫Gather 'round ye lads and lasses, set ye for a while, and harken to me mournful tale about the Emerald Isle. Let's all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone, and lift our voices in another Irish drinkin' song. Consumption took me mother and me father got the pox, me brother drank the whiskey 'till he wound up in a box. Me other brother in the troubles met with his demise, me sister has forever closed her smilin' Irish eyes. ♫ ♫Now everybody's died, so until our tears are dried, we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we'll drink some more. We'll dance and sing and fight until the early mornin' light, then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinkin' once again.♫ Crazy pushed Deadpool off. ♫Ken was killed in Kilkenny and Claire she died in Clare, Tip from Tipperary died out in the Derry air. Shannon jumped into the river Shannon back in June, Ernie fell into the Erne and Tom is in the Toome. "Cleanliness is godliness," me Uncle Pat would sing, he broke his neck a-slippin' on a bar of Irish Spring. O'Grady he was eighty, 'tho his bride was just a pup, he died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up♫ ♫Now everybody's died, so until our tears are dried, we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we'll drink some more. We'll dance and sing and fight until the early mornin' light, then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinkin' once again.♫ Stuffy pushed Crazy off and took over ♫Joe Murphy fought with Reilly near the cliffs of Alderney, he took out his shillelagh and he stabbed him in the spleen. Crazy Uncle Mike thought he was a leprechaun, but in fact he's just a leper and his arms and legs are gone. When Timmy Johnson broke his neck it was a cryin' shame, he wasn't really Irish, but he went to Notre Dame. MacNamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit, but he was just a Scotsman so nobody gave a sh-♫ His head was sliced in half by Wolverine in green. ♫Now everybody's died, so until our tears are dried, we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we'll drink some more. We'll dance and sing and fight until the early mornin' light, then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinkin' once again. ♫ Deadpool blew up Wolverine and took back his place. ♫Me drunken Uncle Brendan tried to drive home from the bar, the road rose up to meet him when he fell out of his car. Irony was what befell me Great Grand Uncle Sam, He choked upon the very last potato in the land. Connor lived in Ulster town, he used to smuggle arms, until the British killed him and cut off his lucky charms. And dear old Father Flanagan who left the Lord's employ, drunk on sacramental wine beneath the altar boy♫ ♫Now everybody's died, so until our tears are dried, we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we'll drink some more. We'll dance and sing and fight until the early mornin' light, then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinkin' once again. ♫ A Spotlight surrounded Deadpool with small pegasi flying by him as doves. ♫Someday soon I'll leave this world of pain and toil and sin, the Lord will take me by the hand to join all of me kin. Me only wish is when the Savior comes for me and you... He kills the cast of Jersey Shore and Honey Boo boo too! ♫ ♫Now everybody's died, so until our tears are dried, we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we'll drink some more. We'll dance and sing and fight until the early mornin' light, then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinkin' once again, then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinkin' once again, then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinkin' once agaaaaain!!!♫ And back to the real perspective. The bar was trashed with Berry being dragged away by the bartender, and Deadpool being impaled by a statue of Celestia & Luna's mom. The Mane 6 all stood there with Starlight. "Glad you didn't invite him to the party, Twilight." Starlight commented. "Uh... I actually did." Twilight replied "But, now I'm glad he didn't accept it." "...Oh well, who's ready for the next episode before the mid season finale!?" Pinkie asked "Uh... what?" Rainbow Dash asked. Pinkie handed everyone scripts. "Quick! Learn your lines! June 11th will be here soon!!!"