Who is Grand Heist?

by aceotaku

Chapter One: Dressed to the Nines

You sit before a small stage decorated by simple, red curtains, ponies surrounding you in seats of their own.

Up on the stage, a small purple dragon walks into view, a microphone in hand. Music starts playing and the dragon starts singing.
“You’re walking in the woods
There is no one around and your magic is dead
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him!”

“Grand Heist!” A yellow Pegasus pops her head out from the side of the stage to exclaim.

“He’s following you
About thirty feet back
He, on all fours, breaks into a sprint!
He’s gaining on you!”

“Grand Heist!” A grey earth mare exclaimed, her black mane styled into messy spikes.

“You’re looking for your home but you’re all turned around!
You see him, surrounding you in the trees
His face covered by a mask
By Celestia, he’s everywhere!”

The two mares start singing.

“Running for your life from Grand Heist!
He’s brandishing a smile, it’s Grand Heist!
Lurking in the shadoooows
Hiding his face, Grand Heist
Stealing for sport, Grand Heist
Nobody knows him!
Who in the world is Grand Heist!?”

Luna awoke, lying on a comfortable bed. She looked up into the face of her sister.

“Sunny? Why are you standing over my bed in a creepy manner?

Celestia smiled. “Today’s a very big day Luna! Tonight we’re holding the Grand Galloping Gala and you’ll be officially re-introduced to our subjects!”

Luna smiled. She had a purple coat with a light blue mane and tail. She was a good deal shorter than her sister, being about the size of a normal mare, possibly a couple inches shorter, however her wings and horn showed that she was a Princess much like Celestia. “I look forward to it. I am tired of sitting in this room every day, waiting for when it’s ‘the right time’. I always did enjoy the Gala, it would be lovely to finally leave for such a wonderful event.”

“I apologise sister...” Celestia said, looking wistful. “I just...I just had to be sure everything would be fine, and that you could reintegrate with the world smoothly. So much has changed, and I had to do so much without your wisdom and guidance...”

“Hush, Sunny. You are a grown mare now, and a ruler besides, you are not the timid little filly who would follow me all the time and need my help.” Luna smiled wryly. “And I haven’t exactly been very wise, not a thousand years ago at least...”

Celestia nuzzled her older sister gently, tears threatening to form. “No, Luna, that was never you. The things you did...the things you tried to do...you would NEVER do any of it under your own power.”

“I hope you’re right...” The smaller Princess looked downwards. “But, I remember so clearly, I do not even understand why I thought what I did...or the deeds I had performed...”

Celestia wrapped a wing around her sister, crying. “I...I am so glad you’re here again...I thought I had lost you forever...”

Luna for her part lightly wiped the tears away, stroking her sister’s neck softly. “Shh, shh, shh, it’s alright Sunny, I am here...”

“You are...you really are...” Celestia smiled tearfully.

Captain Blueblood stood before the assembled members of the Royal Guard, many hoof picked by him with their training scrutinised so they would be the best of the best....Lieutenant Shores notwithstanding, though what she lacked in confidence she made up for in determination, exuberance and loyalty.

The thought occurred to him that a large portion of the guard under his command were mares, where previously it was dominated by stallions. He wasn’t sure what this reflected upon himself or his charges.

He took a deep breath. “Alright, we all know the drill: the Gala is tonight and that means most of us will be standing guard and on patrol to ensure nothing goes wrong tonight. I, of course, will be acting as the Princess’ bodyguard and thus will be near them all night. This does not mean I am getting preferential treatment and it does not mean I will forgo my duties to ‘mingle’. Even if I DO socialise, I will keep my eyes on the Princess’ all night, and so I expect you all to pick up the slack and watch your patrol routes and sentry points carefully. Many important and influential guests will be attending, and we cannot let anything ruin the night for them.”

The assembled guards nodded in affirmation.

“There is one more thing I wish to discuss...” Blueblood’s horn glowed, broadcasting an illusionary image of a wanted poster bearing the face of a pony whose face was covered completely by a golden fabric. “So far, all our efforts to capture Grand Heist have been unsuccessful. He has robbed Canterlot, Ponyville, Prance and several cities, not to mention allied countries like Saddle Arabia. His identity remains unknown, we do not even know what kind of pony he is, be it unicorn, Pegasus or earth pony, as well as his age and gender.”

“Is it really a priority to catch him?” Sergeant Sassy Saddles spoke up. “Most of his robberies are rather harmless, and there are certainly far more dangerous ponies.”

Blueblood shook his head. “I’m afraid we have some new evidence regarding that. Upon arresting Governor Bluegrass in Dodge Junction, we have learned that Grand Heist stole more valuable items as payment for Bluegrass’ assistance. With Bluegrass’ help, Grand Heist was able to obtain experimental technologies developed by Iron Will Industries, which may explain both his more outrageous crimes as well as how he has avoided capture thus far.”

Several guardsmen gasped in shock, knowing how dangerous Iron Will’s ‘inventions’ can be. EVERYPONY remembered what happened when Iron Will himself last attended the Gala.

“A-are you sure?” A male guard asked. “Th-that’s really serious...”

“Indeed, not only is the theft of such technology from such a high profile company serious in and of itself, but said technology is extremely valuable and, most importantly in this case, dangerous to be mishandled. Not only that, but Grand Heist also recently terrorised Ponyville, stealing from several locals as well as causing public disturbances and even speaking to ponies in person, in broad daylight.”

“W-what!?” Private Turnip Truck exclaimed. “But that don’t make no kind of sense!”

“Indeed, while clearly egocentric, he never confronted anypony in person until that point. We suspect he was feeling overconfident due to Ponyville having no real law enforcement, and he may have been desperately searching for something, but we aren’t sure on that point. Regardless, the incident at Ponyville took a very grave turn when a local vigilante appeared, and Grand Heist revealed just how dangerous he is.” Blueblood frowned, trying to think of a way to say the next few words right, before deciding to be honest. “He snuck into several homes and attempted to blow up the entire town. Fortunately, local civilians were able to thwart him, but he managed to escape.”

There was a stunned silence, many were pale and wide eyed, while others had grim faces, and still others looked enraged.

“You have to be kidding...there’s no way Grand Heist did all that! We would have gotten a report about it, or the Ponyvillians would have sent word some other way, or it would be in the news o-or something!” The speaker was a black Pegasus.

“I know how you must feel, Private,” Blueblood said calmly, “Ponyville was your home before you moved here to join the Guard. You are right though, those are things that should have happened...but they didn’t. The Ponyvillians haven’t said anything because they probably think we already know, and why shouldn’t they think that? But as for the other points...we currently believe Grand Heist has some sort of other connections or influence, much like he had with Governor Bluegrass. Either way, the incident has been covered up and there is no evidence left to prove it happened. Even the bombs have gone missing since they were disarmed.”

Sassy Saddly winced. “That’s not good...what does the Princess plan to do?”

The Captain sighed, this was the part he feared to bring up most. “This information came from...Prosecutor Shining Armour. Due to this, Celestia now believes that the information is a fabricated story that Shining Armour falsified to make us focus on Grand Heist. She is adamant that we focus on keeping the Gala safe and that Grand Heist is simply a distraction.”

“She can’t do that!” Sassy Saddles cried. “If what you say is true then...”

“Yes, IF what I say is true, then Grand Heist has publicly attacked our citizens and is more than a mere ‘thief’; however without evidence, and without Celestia’s trust in our prosecutor, then the truth cannot be verified.” He looked down, frowning. “I do not like it either, and I highly suspect the Princess has other reasons for her actions too, but for now we gotta work within what we can do till something presents itself.”
His subordinates grudgingly nodded.

“What about the Mayor? Surely she’d be willing to say something?”

Blueblood shook his head. “She’s been on vacation for several days, nopony’s been able to get in touch with her for a while. And for some reason we are forbidden to send any Guards there, and we’re looking into why. For now, just keep a look out for anypony suspicious and ensure the Gala goes without a hitch.”

Rainbow Dash poured over her desk, deep in thought. She mentally catalogued all the clues and information she had regarding Grand Heist.
He stole Iron Will Industries brand equipment. He was able to manipulate a city leader into helping him. He was an egotist who was violently opposed to anyone taking any attention away from him. His crimes were grandiose and unusual, likely as a method to gain attention. He tries to put on a facade of affability and honour, but it’s very easy to break that falsehood and for him to become violent.

She was starting to figure out the ‘why’ and the ‘how’, the ‘who’ was still too vague. She just needed to figure out ‘when’ and ‘where’ his next crime will take place; she was sure that would be the key to finally catching the jerk.

She lifted her wing, checking that the six golden tickets were still snugly in place. She was still apprehensive about whether she and her friends should go or not. On the one hoof, they were very excited and eager to go. On the other...she knew how they’d feel when they finally got there and saw for themselves.

Something nagged at her mind as she looked the tickets over, she was feeling like there was something, something big she was missing.
Honestly, she just wanted to sell the damn things and be done with it. They were pretty valuable after all, many ponies would pay quite a lot for them, or at least return a favour in exchange. Hay, many ponies used the Gala to boost their own social status!

Like Bluegrass.

Her eyes widened at the thought. Bluegrass was working with Grand Heist, they had some sort of deal arranged. In fact, Grand Heist was in Ponyville several days ago, looking for something.

“Was...” Rainbow dash said numbly, face pale. “Was Grand Heist....in our tree!?”
“Yeah.” Spike admitted with an angry frown. “Not sure what he was after, though.”
.....
Spike merely sighed and slapped her on the face. “Calm down Dash, I caught him in our room and chased him off before he could grab anything.”
The Pegasus nodded, rubbing her cheek. “Our....room...there’s nothing worth stealing except...the tickets...”

The blue Pegasus slammed her hooves down hard on the desk, breathing heavily. She was such an idiot! Why didn’t she think about it more!?
A plan formed in her mind...but it wouldn’t be fair to her friends to go and not bring them...but she didn’t want them to get involved and hurt themselves.

She looked at a letter she had recieveed from her ‘penpal’ recently.

Celestia’s not gonna help. They Mayor’s who knows where. The Royal Guard can’t even legally do anything.

I have to go.
And they have to come with me.

There was a knock at the door to the Carousel Boutique, a small red-maned filly opening the door.

“Oh hi Miss Dash!” Applebloom beamed widely. “What brings ya over here?”

Rainbow smiled. “Hey squirt, is your big sis around?”

Applebloom nodded and turned behind herself, letting out a defeaning yell. “Sis! Rainbow Dash is here!”

Rainbow rubbed her ringing ears as a smiling Applejack suddenly appeared before her. “Gah!” Rainbow yelped, leaping back in surpise.

“Why darling, is there something you need?” Applejack fluttered her eyelashes.

Recovering her composure, the Pegasus nodded. “Yeah, you wanted to make dresses for us if we went to the Grand Galloping Gala, right?”

Applejack squeeled, hooves to her cheeks. “You mean it!? We’re going to the Gala!?”

“Ummm...yeah.” Rainbow smiled nervously, sweating a little. “Sorry for taking so long to think about it...”

“Oh no problem at all here!” Applejack threw a gift wrapped package at Rainbow Dash, who yelped as it smacked her face.

Rainbow held up the package, rubbing her cheek. “You made them already?”

“Well OF COURSE Ah did, darling, what sort of tailor do you take me for?” Applejack turned her head with a ‘hmph’. “Ah made one for each of us, taking into account our personal styles, tastes and interests while still being at least moderately fashionable.”

“Alright, I’ll give one to the rest of the girls.” Rainbow Dash smiled. “You were looking forward to this.”

“Of course darling! Now go run along and tell our friends, Ah must put some finishing touches on mah dress, got to have it completely perfect, you know!”

“Hehe alright.” Rainbow Dash nodded as Applejack handed her four more packages, each signed with the respective recipient’s name.

Applejack turned, closing the door with her tail. “Applebloom, go get Strongheart, we have a prooooojeeeeeect~!”

Fluttershy opened her cottage door, grinning wide. “Hi Rainbow Dash!”

“Hey, ‘Shy. You want to go to the Gala?” The other Pegasus held up a gift wrapped object. “AJ made us all a dress each.”

“Alrighty!” Fluttershy giggled, eagerly taking the gift. “I’m sure it’ll be fun!”

“Yeah....fun...” Rainbow bit her lip. “Just be ready by 6pm.”

“Okie dokie lokie!”

Twilight was lying on the grass, relaxing, eyes closed as she enjoyed the feel of the sun on her body. “You don’t get days like this every day.”

“Hey Twi!”

Twilight opened her eyes, spying Rainbow Dash walking over. “Hey Dash, what’s up?”

The Pegasus handed her a small object in wrapping. “You still want to go to the Gala?”

The unicorn nodded. “I never got to go before we moved, I was too young...but my parents had wonderful stories to tell about it, my mom proposed to my dad at one of the Gala’s in fact.”

Rainbow grinned. “Well that’s your Gala dress. AJ made it herself.”

Twilight smiled. “Thanks. You’re a real friend letting us go despite how apprehensive you were about it.”

“Yeah well...what are friends for?”

“Lots of stuff.” Twilight winked. “But don’t think being friends means you have to force yourself to do things for us.”

“Nah, it’s fine Twi....this is important.”

Twilight blinked, frowning in confusion. “Huh what do you mean?”

But Rainbow Dash was already trotting off.

Rarity was dressed as a bee.

Rainbow...Rainbow Dash didn’t know what to make of it. “Rares, what’s with the outfit?”

“Fluttershy’s idea.” The white unicorn said. “She said animals are natural flyers, so they might give me tips if they think I’m one of them.”

“Aaand...why a bee?”

“Bees are cool.” Rarity answered with a serious expression.

“Riiiight....anyway, Aj made dresses, were going to the Gala.”

Rarity gasped, stars in her eyes. “REALLY!?”

“Yep.”

“YOU MEAN IT!?”

“Uh-huh.”

“YESSSSS!” Rarity started to do a job. “Going to go to the Gala, gonna meet the Wonderbolts! Going to go to the Gala, gonna show them all my stuff!” She froze. “You’re going to Pinkie’s next huh?”

Rainbow grimaced. “Yeah...”

Rarity gripped her friend’s shoulder with a solemn expression. “Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.”

Pinkamena opened the door of her home, gazing impassively at the Pegasus.

Rainbow Dash was smoldering, covering in bruises and soot, her wing was slightly misshapen and she looked very winded. “Gala...AJ...Dress...”

Pinkamena took the gift wrapped package. “You’re hiding something.”

Rainbow blinked, recovering instantly. “I-I am?”

“Yeah.” The pink pony nodded. “But I don’t care. I will accept this once in a lifetime chance to bolster my business however.”

Pinkamena slammed the door.

Rainbow sighed.

Jelly Jam, the pony in charge of the local newspaper, glared. Blueberry jam, as always, marred his face.

Well, one would say he ran the newspaper, but it’s more that he used to. Now the newspaper was shut down and he was out of a job.
He just couldn’t understand why. He only wanted to print a story about Grand Heist’s presence in Ponyville and the eventually war he had with the ‘Mysterious Mare Do Well’.

He was gonna get the truth out somehow though. Ponies deserved to know the truth.

Grand Heist looked himself over in the mirror, smirking.

His outfit was extra dazzling today. His cape fluttered stylishly. His hat was perfectly steam cleaned. He looked over at the trophy sitting in his office.

He was ready. Tonight, he will commit the greatest crime in Equestrian history.

Tonight, he is going to steal from the biggest star in the world, and surpass her.

Tonight, he will steal from Princess Celestia.