//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: I am Shoop! // Story: I am Ruffcoat, I am a shoop! // by Bojack H //------------------------------// I am Shoop! The indignity of all of this. “ah sugercubes, just relax naow and we’ll have all of yall fixed up in a jiffy!” the orange farmer shouted over the herd. I could hear the barely restrained laughter in her voice. Gods I bucking hate her. Her annoying friend had come threw only minutes earlier and painted us all pink as a “prank”, the nerve of that blasted pony!; and the worst part of it was that the herd just sat there doing nothing while she painted us, all 50 of us! “just stand there and do nothing ruffcoat” mary had whispered to me when the stupid rainbow mare had arrived. She was the only one that I had ever vented my hatred of this life to, but even then she wasn’t like me. We sheep have a “good” life here, plenty of pasture, space, and have our needs taken care of as long as we stay in the herd! The bucking herd… I’ve spent my entire life, 20 years by the pony-calendar, unenthusiastically following the one rule of sheepdom. “Always follow the herd”. Where had that gotten me? My mother got eaten by timberwolves years ago, my relatives exchanged with other herds, my ‘friends’ experimented on by this bucking mare’s purple friend who showed up one day, and now I’m pink BUCKING PINK because I had to follow the herd. “Ruffcoat, yer up next!” an impossibly high pitched voice boomed from inside the barn. Ugh her sister… The orange one’s little sister had been given the task of getting us all clean, which meant that she would find some way to make it all worse. She was sweet at times, but given any reasonably simple task she could and would inevitably destroy something, and when you add in her two friends... things only got worse. I shuddered at the thought of when they had tried to sheer the herd once for a "sheep clipping cutie mark!" as they had loudly put it. I was pulled from my thoughts by the press of wooly bodies behind me, forcing me to enter the barn where my expectations were not disappointed.  Yep, she made it worse. The little apple had thought to stick everyone through the same bath, which by now meant that the water was completely pink as roughly half the herd had progressed through the barn. I tried turn around but the herd pushed me forward anyways. I looked between the bath and the little apple. “Shouldn’t you um I don’t know, change out the water? I mean that looks like it’ll make me more pink…” I finally said, as kindly as possible. “Naaw its all fine as apples, ma big sister said to give you all a bath and this’ll clean you all up nice and shiny!” she boomed. I facehoofed. “No you don’t get it, the bath water is already soaked. You’re just going to make this” I said gesturing to my pink coat, “worse.” The little apple shifted between me and the tub parsing what I had just said. “Naw the water will clean you all up, I promise!” Cramit she’s not listening. “just get in ruffcoat, the rest of the herd is waiting.” A voice behind me whispered. For the herd, always for the herd. What had the herd done to stop this? What was the herd going to do about preventing this? NOTHING, they just sat around like… like…. Like the sheep we are… …. …….. …….bucking cramit…. At that moment, something inside me snapped. “NO!” I shouted. The little apple jumped at my outburst, knocking over the set of brushes and somehow catapulted the tub towards the line of slightly washed sheep, soaking them the dyed water, making them pink as before. The little filly burst into tears and run away. “RUFFCOAT!” the entire herd shouted in unison now that the apples were out of earshot. Gods I hate it when they do that…. One member stomped out from the group. Here comes Jan to the rescue… “RUFFCOAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Jan shouted. "YOU JUST HAD TO GET IN THE TUB, NOW YOU’VE UPSET THE APPLES!” She was the current herdmaster and was not pink like the rest of us because she had gotten in first and had been standing away from the rest of us as her position dictated. Gods I hate her so bucking much. She was obsessed with appeasing the Apples, “never upset them, never make them feel sad, never offend them!” she had once drilled. “the apples are our life, they are our friends but we must also respect them!”  Buck the Apples and their whole bucking farm! I paid my dues, I let them shave me bald every few months without one complaint for 16 years and the apples and the herd let the timberwolves take my mother. I never spoke out any of the times they let their purple friend experiment on us with her magic, all because the apples provided the herd with a farm. I never voiced my anger when Jan sold the herd’s wool for stupid prices. I never cried when we were forced to eat grass when the herd’s funds were low! Buck them, Buck every single one of them, Buck the herd for being sheep, BUCK MYSELF for being one of them! ... .... ...... I am not a sheep. I thought. Jan was still busy chewing me out, repeating her tired dribble.  I am not a sheep….. Sheep were talentless. Sheep lived in a herd, doing what they were told, giving some of their wool up in exchange for a home, selling for what they could to survive. If I’m not a sheep, then what am I? I am not going to be a sheep anymore, but I’m not a pony either. I’m not a sheep, but I’m not a pony…. I’m an individual…. I’m a shoop. I am a shoop… “….and furthermore, if you continue this behavior, there will be consequences Ruffcoat! Hey are you even listening to me? RUFFCOAT ANSWER ME!” While I had been self-actualizing, Jan had continued reciting me the herd code. “Buck you Jan.” I said, standing up on my hind legs. “EXCUSE ME!?” she said, her face contorted in rage. “You heard me, Buck you, I’m done with this.” I said and turned to walk away, still on my hind legs for some reason, it just felt right. “RUFFCOAT, if you walk out on this herd I’ll make sure no other herd will ever take you in! What is a sheep without a herd!?” she shouted after me. The herd, the bucking mother herd! I stopped and turned around to face her. “I AM NOT A SHEEP!" I shouted. "I.... am a shoop!” I proudly declared. “I am a shoop and I don’t need a herd!” I said feeling the power behind my words. I waited for a response. The herd burst into laughter. All of them laughed. These were my so called “family” and they thought I was nuts. When Jan finally stopped laughing herself, she came over and put her forehooves on me. “Ruffcoat, you are a sheep. No matter what you want to think, you can’t escape that. What will you as a ‘shoop’ do for a living without a herd?” Jan asked sarcastically. “I….I…..I don’t know but its better off out there than here, at least out there I’m not going to get experimented on, or magiced around, or… or turned bucking pink!” I said, pushing back against Jan, knocking her over into the rest of the dyed sheep. “Fine, go off on your little fantasy, I’ll even give you a week to do it, but don’t come back starving or begging after that!” she bellowed from the pile. The herd shifted around nervously. Its nearly unheard of for one to be expelled from a herd, and even then it was usually arranged for another herd to take them in. After all what is a sheep without a herd? But I am not going to be a sheep any longer! I thought. Without even bothering to answer Jan’s taunt, I pirouetted on my back legs and walked away, still upright somehow. I decided from that point on shoops will no longer walk on their front legs like a common sheep. The rest of the herd parted around me until I was clear of the barn and the yard. I was going past the house when I heard crying and voices from just inside. “...aw shucks, it ain’t yer fault, that ruffcoat has always been a little rude.” I heard the orange one say to her sister. She must have run back here crying after I scared her. Buck I don’t want to see them right now. I hid behind some barrels as they came out of the house. “ahm sure I’ll talk to Jan and she’ll straighten him out, heck he’s probably as sorry about the whole thing as you are.” She said to her trailing sister. Like hell I’m apologizing for her ineptness! I told her that bath needed changing, and also the orange apple was supposed to take care of us, that’s the deal and she bucked the job to her incompetent little sister! Out of their way, I crept out of my hiding place and picked up my pace. I set out into the orchard. The apple farm was large, but there was only four of the apples around most of the time, and one of them stayed near the house, so all I had to do was avoid the red one and I’m free. I had picked a random path through the trees when a deep voice called out. “hey, what’er you doin away from yer herd?” Startled, I lost my balance and fell onto the fluff ball that was my tail. Haggis, I thought.  I must have wandered into the big red one’s path. He was a genuine giant among even his kind. I had heard that he once pulled a building around by a rope on accident without even noticing, and then we’ve all seen him accidentally knock trees clean out of the ground before, and don’t get me started on how much wood he can buck.   “Did ya get separated from the herd little guy?” he asked offering a hoof. Even on my back legs my ears would barely come up to his wooden yoke. I looked between the offered hoof and his downward gaze. For all the intimidating tales that had been spun about him, he had nothing but good intent on his muzzle. Maybe I was wrong about him. I thought. I grabbed the hoof and he nearly yanked my foreleg off. I managed to let go before he pulled me completely off balance. “Here just follow me and I’ll get ya back to yer herd.” He said, after I had regained my composure. Buck those guys, I’m never turning back. “Sorry, I’m not going back to the herd.” I said. “I’m tired of giving my life to the herd and I've decided to strike out on my own.” The red giant mulled over what I said for a few moments before responding. “Well if’en you’re really set on goin out on your own, ya probably wanna wash off that dye there. I’d recommend the creek just up ahead.” He said with complete earnestness. “Good luck at whatever ya find out you wanna do.” Without another word, he turned away and went back into the orchard to buck apples like he always did. Huh, he was more accepting than I thought he would be. I set off in the direction he indicated making a mental note to send him a letter someday when I’ve figured out what to do with myself. Sure enough, once I cleared the orchard, there was a shallow creek just outside the farm that washed the dye right out of my coat. As I laid down in the sun to dry I contemplated what I had done. So what do I do now? I thought. What do Shoops do? What is my special shoop talent? Ponies have those magical talent stamps that they claim makes them good at everything, but what can I do?  All I had done for my entire life was follow the herd, listen to the herd, eat grass for the herd, and give my wool for the herd, but now I’m not in a herd, nor as a single sheep could I support myself on just my wool alone. Maybe I hadn’t thought this through. I considered with a sigh. I’m not going back to the farm, I’d probably be quietly traded off to another herd anyways after what I had done to the little apple so I was already on my own I guess. What is a singular sheep supposed to do though? Sheep live for the herd, what do shoop live for? Think Ruffcoat, you’re the first shoop, you can have them do whatever they want! Shoop… I had been calling myself that for about an hour now but I hadn’t really thought about what it was, in all honesty It was a joke in of itself from when the little apple had first started talking and couldn’t understand the difference between sheep and sheep. She had mistakenly called a single sheep a shoop back then and I had always subconsciously liked the word. Ponies have pony, dragons have dragon, gryphons have gryphon, singular; but sheep, well there’s sheep and then there’s sheep, they are by the very name, a group. Either by custom or nature, it was always we, never I. Never did I live in a house, sheep lived in pastures and pens. Never had I had a meal, sheep ate as a herd. My stomach growled at the thought of food. Shoops need food too, that’s what I currently needed. Normally the herd ate hay when times were good provided we were able to sell our wool for good prices, but when that wasn’t the case, we ate from the pasture because we had no choice. As the founding member of the shoop race, I solemnly put my hoof down at the thought. Never will a shoop have to stoop that low to survive. They will dine on hay like the civilized ponies! Hay they purchased with their own coin! They will toil, they will work, but they shall not be a slave to the fluctuating price of the local commodity market! My stomach groaned again. This was all well and good but there's still the question of what a newly proclaimed shoop can do for bits? As much as it pained me to acknowledge it, I was still no better off than the sheep I had left behind. All I had to my name was the wool off my back, legs, forelegs, head, and well everything else. Fortunately it was early spring and I was in need of a trim, so at least I had a full coat that I could sell. Buck-it, when we write the history books on the shoop race, I’ll just leave that bit out. I thought with a chuckle. Maybe that tailor friend of the Apples would be interested, she usually bought some of the herd’s wool in the off season when she needed materials. That’s probably a good place as any to start. Maybe I could convince her to make me some cloths as well. She was also always bragging about making outfits for exotic customers, what could be more exotic than the founding member of an entirely new species? Again I chuckled. With at least some form of plan, I set off down the road towards where I thought her shop was. It’s not like I had ever really been in town much. The herd never wanted to go into the town except on the rare occasion when we were invited and even then the farmer needed to guide the herd into town because they’re all too afraid to go alone. Even the cows go into town to get things for the love of goat! At any rate I needed some bits and maybe I could find something better to do there. For all the anger I still had felt towards my former herd, I hadn’t felt more excited in my entire life. With a spring in my two legged step, I practically skipped into town, drawing stares from colorful ponies along my way. I felt like I had woken up to the world around me, meanwhile everyone I had known were still stubbornly sleeping away, afraid to open their eyes to change. This world will come to know what a shoop can do!