//------------------------------// // From Earth to Equestria // Story: The Conversion Bureau: Tale of a Reluctant Newfoal // by Firemind //------------------------------//         At first, it seemed like I was floating in a silvery void, but slowly I realized that I wasn't floating, I was running – it was as if my body somehow materialized as it was moving.  I felt my legs first, then my tail, with the parts in between coming after, oddly enough.  I didn't really look at my body, though, mostly because thousands of Ponies shimmered into being alongside me, one by one, representing the full spectrum of Equinity – all Tribes (I vaguely remembered that was the preferred term for the different types), colors, ages, genders, and so forth seemed to be represented.  I say seemed, because they all remained translucent and shimmery.  Meanwhile, the void itself changed to an unfamiliar night sky, the full moon and numberless stars appearing, as if the once-diffuse light concentrated into them.  As I ran with the phantom herd towards the moon, the ground took the form of an open grassland.  I could even feel the grass tickle my belly as I ran.           After what felt like both an instant and eternity, I came before what was clearly the Lunar Throne – ebony and silver, with a massive upturned crescent Moon at the top, the dream-moon seeming to rest within it – and Princess Luna herself sat regally upon it.  Instinctively, I fell to my knees.           “Rise, child.”  Her voice was soft, sympathetic, warm.  I shakily stood, still in awe.  “Thou have been grievously wronged, and we offer thee our deepest sorrow and regret that we could not prevent it.  Thankfully, thou shall be among the last – we have sent one of our greatest champions to stop those responsible; she should arrive shortly after thou wake, by no more than an hour.”         “Glad to hear he'll be stopped, but what about me?  Will I be able to go back to being male?”  In response to my question, the Princess of the Night stood up, came alongside me, and draped a massive wing over my back.  “Yes, but it might be some time before a remedy will be available.  There are logistical concerns, as well as a waiting list.  Thou are far from unique in thy plight, although most of the others were transformed by the P.E.R.”         “Specifically the Daughters of Epona splinter group.” I blurted out, immediately regretting it.  “Sorry, my … father, for lack of a better word, is with the H.L.F., and before he disowned me, I overheard a lot.”           “I see … unfortunately, our time here is ending, though I will visit thee again in thy dreams, as well as ensure that somepony helps thee in thy waking hours, and follows up on your ties.  Farewell.” * * *         I awoke to the sounds of the entire tent full of newfoals beginning to stir.  I was mildly surprised that none were overtly distraught, and more surprised that I was taking things in stride as well as I was.  Heck, I felt better that I could ever remember feeling.  I opened my eyes, and saw only the plastic tent floor, and beyond it, Jim.  He turned out a Pegasus, midnight blue – maybe half a shade lighter than Princess Luna – with a golden yellow mane and tail.  He still seemed to be asleep, or just starting to wake.  I moved to a sort-of sitting position without really thinking about it, and turned to look in the mirror.  Survey says … Unicorn.  The filly staring back at me was ice blue, with a horn poking out of her mid-length raspberry-colored mane.  And her eyes – my eyes – were purple!  Like full-on plum!  And positively huge!  No wonder everything seemed clearer and more vivid.  And my hearing was sharper, too … I could hear Jim stirring behind me.  I turned to welcome him back into the land of the living.           “Lukas?  You're … pretty?”  Pretty?  The word sounded alien when applied to me.  Before, I might've punched someone for it, but I couldn't find the anger.  Must've gone the same place my fists did.           “Please don't call me that … it makes me feel odd.”  Not '”Like a freak?”  Just “Odd?”  Stars, my emotions were all over the place.  Wait, did I think “Stars” instead of a proper swear word?  Fffffffuuuuudge brownies!  Sugar honey iced tea!  Great … couldn't really swear, or summon any real anger.  What was I becoming?  Wait, Jim had said something.  “Sorry, I missed that … I was distracted.”           “I just said 'OK'.”  He seemed kinda distant too, taking in his new form.  “Hmm, I think I look like a 'Comet' … don't you think?  Midnight Comet … I like the sound of that!”         “Hmmm, it fits, even if the 'Midnight' part sounds kinda girly.”  No clue why that notion came to mind, other than to get him back for calling me pretty.           “Maybe … might want to ask somepony who'd know if there's any such connotations in Equish.”  Not a bad idea, actually … I might want to ask someone myself, before I made anything final.  “The 'Comet 'part fits, though … call me that for now.”         That particular conversation, however, would have to wait, as an orange-and-yellow blur of an Earth Pony bounced up.  “Hiya, how're you liking your new bodies?  Mine's super spiffy!  I wanted to be cute, and I sure am … you blokes have any good ideas about names?  The one I was thinking about doesn't really fit … I mean, I totally don't look like a 'Sugarplum'.”         “Maybe Cheezy Poof” I blurted.  Looks like I could snark after all, even if it was subtle.           “Not quite, though the 'cheese' bit feels right … lessee … Cheddar?  That sounds right!  Thanks, cute stuff!”  She punctuated that with a kiss on the cheek.  And that's when I recognized the ditz's Aussie accent.           “Wait, aren't you the joker who 'volunteered as tribute'?”           “Yep … I wanted to be a mare, and thought that was a funny way to make sure I would.”  What kind of person thinks that turning a life-altering request into a joke was a good idea!?  Oh wait, the answer was in front of me, grinning like an idiot.  “Huh?  Was it?”         “The reference was obscure, and your timing was rather poor.”  Comet rolled his eyes as he replied, deadpan.           “Obscure, I'll show you obscure … “ Cheddar's retort stopped short as Windbag told us to move on to the mess tent for or First Meal.  Apparently, that bit of tradition from the days of the Bureaus had at least received a nod, if not actually continuing in some form.  We rose to exit the tent.           Or at least Comet and Cheddar rose.  I tried to concentrate on everything I needed to do, and promptly fell on my rear.  “Gummi donut!”  Where did that one come from!?  It didn't even make any sense.           “Don't think too hard about it, cute stuff.”  That nickname was really getting on my nerves, but before I could fire off a zinger, Comet interjected.           “It's called the Centipede's Dilemma, but Cheddar's right on this one.”           “Do or do not, there is no try!”  The Cheezy Poof actually did a halfway decent Yoda impression.           Taking their advice, I stood up and started hoofing it to the door.  “You dorks coming?”  They followed, Comet straightening his pendant.  I guess Cheddar helped him get it on.           Windsong met us outside the tent, her visage dark.  It improved slightly when she saw us.  Like she'd promised, we recognized her by her pendant – she was a Pegasus like her brother, sage green with a teal mane.  “I heard what they did, and I intend to get some answers.”  She embraced her brother, “I'm glad you came through it intact, though.  You've been through enough, we both have.”         “Yes, though Lukas didn't.  He got the Red Stuff.”  And with that, Comet gestured towards me.            Windsong stared, open-mouthed for several seconds. “Lukas? It sure did a number on you!” Wait! What did she mean by that?   Before I could dwell on it too long, she continued, “After First Meal, I’m going to see if I can make a stink.  No one should have that done to them against their will.”         “Don’t bother … it’s being handled.”  Their puzzled stares quickly persuaded me to elaborate.  “I spoke to Princess Luna in my conversion dream, she said that ‘one of her greatest champions’ - her words, not mine - was already en route.  Whoever it is won’t be able to get me fixed right away … “         “Hey, aren’t you already ‘fixed’ from the potion!?” Cheddar interrupted.   I shot her a glare and moved on.  “Ignore the clown.  Anyway, while nothing can be done about ‘Russell the One-Eyed Muscle’ right now, the assholes responsible are going to be in a world of trouble.”  About time I managed to swear properly, instead of some dessert-themed substitution!  Guess I had to actually be mad to use it.  “And the mess tent looks like it’ll have the best odds of having a good view of that show, so let’s go.  Besides, I’m ravenous!” “Alright, I’m pretty hungry too.  But we better have front row seats.”  Was she angry over something involving me in particular, or on general principle?  Logically, the latter made more sense - after all, she barely knew me - but she did seem to get more upset after she saw me.  “So, who’s the third wheel you picked up?” “This is Cheddar.  She volunteered to walk on the filly side, and latched onto us after we woke up.”  The cheezy poof made a rather satisfied “ta-da” and struck a ridiculous pose before falling over sideways.  “And that’s what you get for showing off after having a body for fifteen minutes, no matter what instincts came with it.”   Hmmm, came with the body?  That might really explain some things, and I really should think on that.  Think on it later, friends and food took priority now.  Were they friends?  Probably not yet, but they were the closest I had.  I heard my name being called and brought myself out of my reverie.  “Sorry, I was lost in thought again.  What were you saying?” “No worries, mate!  Just asking if you thought one of us should snag a table, or if we should all just go through the line together.”  We were at the mess tent already?  Darn, I really was off my game.   “Oh, might as well go through it together.  Doesn’t look like seating’ll be an issue.”  I’d briefly scanned the mess tent, and it was maybe half full.   “We’re unanimous, then.” Windsong stated impatiently.  “Let’s go, already!” “I wonder what hay tastes like.” Cheddar mused with glee as we got into line.  “Looks like I’m gonna be finding out!”  In fact, it seemed likely that we all would - there were no less than three different varieties of it being served, though I couldn’t tell yet if the visible differences were due to the type of hay, how it was prepared, or both - and it seemed to be the main course.   The line moved fairly quickly, and it didn’t take long to get to the serving area.  As we moved through it, I noticed hundreds of Ponies coming in behind us.  “Looks like we really beat the rush.  Glad we got here when we did!”  That prompted a round of agreements.  We each grabbed a tray - they were brightly colored plastic, and had a flattened mouth-handle.  The cartoonized instructions next to the handle suggested that they’d been made for Newfoals - and possibly come from a Bureau before it closed.   “What can I get for ya?”  The Unicorn staffing the hay portion of the line smiled in that overly friendly American style.  Oddly, it didn’t bug me half as much as it used to.   “What’s good?”  Dang, that came out sounding a lot more silly than I meant it to.   The Unicorn didn’t miss a beat.  “All of it.  You want to experience something more Equestrian, get something more familiar, or just go for simple?”  She grinned at me, expectantly.   “I’ll go for the familiar.  Dunno when I’ll get the chance again.”  She used tongs held in her horn-field to put a good-sized dollop of hay into the biggest section of my tray.  It’s smell reminded me of the herbs they put in the bread they used to serve at this hole-in-the-wall restaurant I used to eat at during the year we were in Naples, back before things got real bad, before my mom … no, not going there.  Don’t need to dwell on that now.  Apparently I’d muttered part of that, because Windsong asked me what I’d said.  “Nothing important … just some old memories.”  She didn’t push it, thankfully, instead focusing on getting her own lunch.  Food was priority one now, it seemed.  Some sort of stuffed bread roll made from millet flour, a couple fresh carrots, a glass of lemonade, and an apple (apparently, this was traditional) rounded out the meal, with a single-serving blackberry pie for dessert.           With lunch on our trays, we made our way to a table on the outskirts of the tent.  Thankfully, we had the presence of mind to put our trays down before we tried to sit, because the benches proved to be too much for our new bodies’ autopilots, since we kept trying to sit on them biped-style instead of recline or sit in a doglike fashion.  Still, nopony got hurt, and we had a good laugh, so it all worked out OK in the end.  No-Pony?  OK, now I knew something got stuck in my head, and I was going to bring it up.  “I think those dreams pushed our bodies’ autopilots into us, along with at least some of the Pony Collective Unconscious.”  With that, I bit into the roll … not really my cup of tea, but edible.  Could do without the mushrooms, though.           “Yeah, I think it did too … kinda like the whole Prothean Cipher bit from Mass Effect.”  Windsong chimed in.  Not a bad comparison, either.           “Which version?  Most of them were subtly different - if they included it at all.  I know the movie that came out a few years ago didn’t, and the fiftieth anniversary graphic novels treated it like a Rosetta Stone, and had Liara dig it up.  Only the game remakes and the TV Show from the forties really did the original game justice on that one.”  Stars, Comet was really going all-out on this.  At least until Cheddar had to ruin it.           “The show!?  The blokes behind it must have been smoking something!  They just ‘bout wrecked the whole bloomin’ franchise!”  You did NOT just go there, Cheddar!  I ate a mouthful of hay to stop myself from starting something with the Cheezy Poof.  Sweet Celestia, it was amazing!  Perfectly crisp and savory, and seasoned with garlic and thyme to boot. I must have let out a moan, because everyone immediately looked at me.  “I think she creamed herself.”  I’m so going to get you back for that one, Cheddar.           “First, despite how I look, I’m not a ‘she’ … second, the hay is really good.”  Hell, “really good” was an understatement.   “Not everypony is as desperate to throw their masculinity in the trash, Cheddar!”  Comet practically growled that, he and Windsong double-teaming the orange mare with their nastiest glares, which looked a little freaky on them.  Angry Ponies weren’t usually something you saw up close.  Or much at all.   Cheddar wisely chose to drop it with a quick “OK” before digging into her hay.  “Oh … this is really good.  It’s like an orgasm in my mouth!”  That prompted laughter all around.  While we ate, we compared backstories - Cheddar was from Hobart, in Tasmania, and had run away from her controlling parents who were doing their best to stop her from transitioning.  She was also fifteen - having lied about her age - and immediately stopped flirting with me when she found out I was only thirteen.   “Aren’t you bothered about lying to the people running the camp?”  Windsong asked, in between bites of a carrot.   “A bit - I don’t like doing it, but I had to get out of there.  And yeah, they will catch on, but not before I get to Equestria.  And what’re they gonna do then?  Ship me back to a bunch of idiots praying for God to save them?  If prayer was going to do anything, it’d have done it years ago.  So either there’s no one out there listening, or they’re onboard with this.” “If there was a god out there, Equestria would have come at the beginning of the century, before things really went to sugar.”  Back to dessert swearing again?  Guess I couldn’t summon the anger to swear over stuff that happened before my parents were born.   “Honestly, we’ve been needing it for far longer than that, Lukas.  Or at least someone to come and put a stop to all the horseapples that rich white men did to pretty much everyone else.”  Windsong’s eyes blazed as she spoke.  “And if you’d have given any other segment of Humanity that kind of power, they’d have abused it just as much.” “Not necessarily.”  Comet retorted.  I got the feeling this was something of a recurring debate between them.  Sure enough, they proceeded into a heated debate - there wasn’t anywhere near the vitriol to call it an argument - that I half-followed while polishing off my pie.  After which, I felt vaguely naughty, noticing that I hadn’t eaten my apple.   As I contemplated it - still somewhat hungry, but no longer ravenous - I remembered that I was a Unicorn, and had telekinesis, at least in theory.  And the apple would make for a convenient first attempt.  And the others deserved a warning, just in case.  “Hey everypony, watch out, I’m going to try to use magic on my apple.”   Cheddar and Windsong immediately backed away from the perceived line of fire.  “Use the Force, Luke!”   I rolled my eyes.  “Real original.  Just had to go there, didn’t you, Cheddar.”  There was no vitriol, just exasperation in response to a friendly tease.  I closed my eyes, and began picturing the apple on the tray.  I could sorta see it and sort of feel it with the same sense.  It’s kinda hard to describe.  I reached out for it, and could feel its texture, could feel every bump on the skin, the dimple where the stem met the apple proper, everything.  As gently as I could, I lifted, doing my best to keep it in my grip.  Once I got it a good fifteen centimeters or so clear of the table, I drew it to me just as gently.  Opening my eyes, I saw it floating in front of my face, a purple glow around it, matching the one bleeding into my field of view from my forehead.  I’d done it!  Now to claim my prize!  I grabbed at the apple, snagging it in my teeth just as the field winked out.  A bit of contented fatigue set in - which made sense in hindsight, considering I’d just used my horn for the first time, and I’d only had it for maybe half an hour.   I moved to hold the apple between my hooves, and took a massive bite out of it.  Oh sweet stars, I’d never tasted anything more perfect!  I mean, the rest of the meal was amazing, but not even the pie was like this.  I know I moaned more than a little.  It was just that good.  A massive wave of applause (Pony style, with hoof stomping instead of clapping), complete with a few whistles brought me back to my senses.  What was that about?  Oh no … they thought I was up to something sexual, didn’t they?   “Apparently, that was quite the display of magic, Lukas,” Comet explained.  “Way to go!”  So that wasn’t about me moaning like I was having smoking hot sex?  “According to the workers, even with all the assistance in the newest versions of the potion, only about one in five Newfoal Unicorns successfully use magic on their first attempt.”  I acknowledged the crowd with a jaunty salute and went back to my apple, making sure I didn’t lose myself in it completely again, noticing my companions going after theirs with similar results.  As the commotion died down, I watched just about every Unicorn in the room try to use magic for themselves, with only a few succeeding, though a good deal of them got it after a few tries.  Each success made me smile a little more inside, which was one more surprise in a day full of them.  I used to wish others would fail, thinking there was only so much success in the world to go around, and that every failure someone else suffered somehow made my own odds better.   An odd noise brought me out of that bit of introspection.  It was like a jet plane chasing an enormous flock of geese.  I looked up, and realized it was a Pegashuttle, a glider pulled by Pegasi in space suits, to travel between what’s left of Earth and the Equestrian heartland.  This one was massive - there were dozens of Pegasi pulling it in an arrowhead formation, and the craft itself was significantly larger than an airliner.  As it got closer, I recognized it from the news - it was the Rainboom, Ambassador Rainbow Dash’s craft.  Painted in Wonderbolts colors, with feathers on it’s swept wings, it was a graceful ship, as well as a well-known one (Only Princess Celestia’s Lightbringer was more famous).  “And here comes the champion Princess Luna told me about.”   “Good … wait, that’s the Rainboom!  You didn’t say we were getting a freaking ambassador!”  Windsong was trying not to hyperventilate, and mostly failing.   “She didn’t say who was coming either!” I protested, as the Pegashuttle made it’s final approach.  “And remember she is one of the more prominent troubleshooters.”   “Not to mention that Worldgov agents using red potion as indiscriminately as the P.E.R. warrants some serious crackdown.”  Windsong certainly had a point there.  Still, I didn’t get why she was the angriest of the bunch.   Back at the shuttle, the lead Pegasus detached themselves from the group, and flew over to the camp.  They exchanged some angry words in Equish with a blue-and-tan Unicorn who was apparently in charge of managing that approach, before they removed their helmet, revealing the face of the ambassador herself!  The Unicorn just about jumped out of his skin before escorting her into the camp.  He then spoke into his mic, which was apparently patched into the camp’s ancient loudspeaker system.  “Faisal, you have a VIP from Equestria to see you, STAT!”  Apparently, Windbag’s name was Faisal, because he came running out of one of the tents, skidding to a halt before the duo.   Managing a jaunty salute, he put on what was probably his best innocent face.  “What can I do for you?”           “Can it!  I’ve heard that you’ve been forcing red potion on refugee boys.  What do you have to say about it?”  Cue Rainbow Dash becoming angry Pegasus number three.  Can’t say I blame her.  While I was coping OK for the time being, I didn’t expect it to last; and even if I weren’t one of the ones changed, Windbag was a shithead who hurt people.  He’d better have a better reason for it than the horsefeathers he offered us.           “I’ve been trying not to disrupt your culture, you ungrateful, sanctimonious ass!”  Wrong answer!  I don’t think anyone bought it, especially not the ambassador.   “Our culture!?  What about the people whose lives you’re disrupting?  What about their pain?  If you really want to respect our culture, you could try to learn a thing or two from our virtues.  Such as ‘don’t ask anyone to do something you aren’t willing to do yourself!’”  Rainbow Dash had been angry before, now she was furious.  I don’t think I’d ever seen a Pony that mad … stars, the only Human I’d ever seen that angry was the Old Rat, and even then, that took some doing.   “They’ll get over it.  They’re being reborn in light.”  Wait a sec … “Reborn in light?”  That was something that the P.E.R. said, or at least some of them.  Did that mean this guy had P.E.R. ties?   “Reborn in light?  Interesting.”  The ambassador’s face broke out in a wolfish grin - kinda disturbing on a sentient herbivore, if you ask me, and her tone dropped from volcanic to glacial.  “I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you back with me, to answer to the Princesses in person, so you’re going to have to make the change.  Only question is which version of the potion you be taking?  Grape or cherry?” “Cherry.  Gladly.”  His expression shifted into a mix of defiance and … longing?  Windbag - Faisal - made zero sense to me.  Wait, maybe he was like Cheddar, only with more of a dislike for masculinity due to years of pain.   “Interesting.”  She turned to address the Unicorn.  “Steadfast, could you make sure he gets it, please?”   “Will do.”  Steadfast replied, before muttering something I couldn’t make out into his mic.   “What’s going to happen to me after I get there?”  All the wind seemed to have gone out of his sails, all his bluster gone,  I almost felt bad for him.  Almost.   “That is entirely up to the Princesses.”  The blue mare’s face was as icy as her voice.   Another Unicorn - a pinkish mare - showed up, carrying a flask with a dose of potion in it.  She brought it to Faisal, who took it, thanking her.  “Time for me to  be reborn in light.  Bottoms up!”  He toasted Rainbow Dash with the flask like it was a glass of wine, then downed it.  That done, he sank bonelessly onto the ground. The Pegasus apparently didn’t know what to make of him anymore than we did, and shook her head as she helped the Unicorns get his clothes off.  That done, she turned to Steadfast, asking “Any idea about how he slipped past your safeguards?” “Not sure, honestly.  We’re going to have to look into that.  If I were to guess, he used a faked or stolen identity.”  He shook his head.  “Make sure you ask him that.  I’d like to know what he has to say about that, along with a lot of other things.”   “Alright … I’ll keep you informed.  Meanwhile, we should get the refugees onboard.  Don’t worry, I can keep an eye on Faisal while you handle it.”   Steadfast nodded to her and spoke into the PA system again.  “All Newfoal refugees bound for Equestria, please assemble at the western gate.  I repeat, all Newfoal refugees bound for Equestria, please assemble at the western gate.” “That’s our cue.” Comet said absentmindedly.  We made our way out, careful to place our trays in the return receptacle on our way out.  The crowd was staggering - there were hundreds of Ponies leaving Earth behind forever.  And most were younger than us - some looked like they were only three or four, and adolescents were fairly rare, and maybe half a dozen who could even pass for adults in the whole lot.   Off the cuff, I’d say the average age was about eight or nine.  Many of them had old eyes, though - bled through with uncertainty, sorrow, pain, and fear.  How I wanted to go comfort them all, tell them that they were going somewhere safe and sound, somewhere they’d all have their tears dried.  That urge was certainly a new one, but one I kinda liked.  Still, it wasn’t a practical one to indulge at the moment, so I limited myself to little acts of encouragement as we moved through the camp, and noticed my companions doing similar things.   Once we cleared the gate and could see the shuttle again, the general mood improved immensely.  I saw Ponies unloading crates from it, and piling them near the perimeter.  It seemed very likely that the food we’d just eaten had come in similar crates, along with the Potion that transformed us, though that almost certainly was brought in immediately.   “When are they going to let us on?”  A colt of perhaps five asked, scared and confused.   “In a few minutes.  They’re still unloading, and they might have to get some things ready for us.”  I did my best to be strong, though my own frustration was beginning to rise.  Why had Rainbow Dash given the word this early?  Was it to give stragglers extra time?  Or did she simply miscalculate?  As I watched, I saw the stream of cargo halt,  My “See, it won’t be long.” was met with a simple “OK.” A few minutes later, somepony announced that we were clear to begin boarding, but that we shouldn’t go into the wing seating until the main areas were at least mostly full, and start near the aisles and work our way out.  Wing seating?  Was the shuttle really that big?  And honestly, that sounded like fun.   Windsong took the words out of my mouth.  “Want to see if we can sit in one of the wings?”  A chorus of approval resounded.   “Sounds like it’d almost be like an amusement park ride.”  Comet quipped. “Bloomin’ awesome!”   “I was just thinking that myself.” I added. “Alright … I think we’re far enough back that we should get a good shot at it,”  Most of our time before boarding was spent looking after the colt and fillies (We’d picked up a group of five, the colt from earlier - a Unicorn named Shadow, his Pegasus sister Thistledown, two Earth Pony fillies called Blackberry and Lemongrass, and a slightly older Unicorn filly who hadn’t decided on a Pony name yet, and was still going by Sammy) in line, impatience and excitement on top of their previous apprehension made things volatile, resulting in a good bit of … well … horseplay.  Shoving, headbutting, tail-swatting, jockeying for position - some people just have to be first - that kind of thing.  Nothing actually aggressive or mean-spirited, but still rough enough that somepony could get hurt by accident.  Kids will be kids, I guess, regardless of species.   Still, we got there without any serious incidents, though I sincerely hoped there were adult attendants on the shuttle who could take over.  They certainly had Ponies checking us in, using actual pens and what looked to be carbon paper.  Nothing surprising, honestly - there was no secret that WorldGov tracked us up to the Barrier, at which point Equestria took over; and the Barrier itself fried even electronics hardened against the damage done by ambient magic - nothing more complex than a mid-20th century two-way radio could make it through intact, and even then it wasn’t exactly good for the device.   The shuttle itself - and it felt weird calling anything this big a “shuttle” - was pretty nice inside, which is about what you’d expect on for diplomatic ship, even if it wasn’t being used that way.  Thankfully there were attendants - though only around twenty or so for the entire ship, so we were still quasi-deputized - who told us we could go sit in the port wing, and told us where the maps and the bathrooms were.  We actually had to go up half a level to get into the wing, and there was a whole second deck above the one we came in on.  The seats were more like couches for us to recline on, angled in nested V-shaped arcs facing forward, with an aisle in between.  Each had several harnesses to keep us from sliding around, and between them were low, cushioned barriers. Once I figured my own out - they were deceptively simple - I handled my companions’, and the harnesses for the foals we were babysitting too.  On the whole, the only thing lacking was a window, which was rather disappointing.   Of course, it was just my luck that I’d just gotten Blackberry buckled up when she wanted out.  “Miss Frost?”  Somehow, somepony started calling me that, and it stuck with the younger crowd.  The “Miss” part got old real quick, but I suppose I could live with “Frost”. “I have to go potty.”   “Why didn’t you tell me that before I strapped you in?” “I just realized it now.”  Of course she did … this was going to be a long trip.   “Do you think you’ll be OK going by yourself?”  I really hoped she would be - she was one of the older ones of the bunch, and I really didn’t want to unbuckle anypony else.  Then again, she’d only been a Pony for a little while, and hadn’t told me if she’d been a girl to begin with, or a boy who got cherried. “Yeah” “Actually, I’d like to go with you,” Windsong volunteered.   “Thanks,” I replied as I unbuckled them both.  Once they’d departed, it was back to the usual.  “Miss Frost, Shadow said a bad word! -- Did not! -- Thistledown hit me with her tail! -- It was on accident. -- Quit burping at me! -- Stop copying me, Sammy! -- Frost and Comet sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G. … “ “That’s enough!”  The shout came from Comet, the Pony I expected it from the least.  “Bad enough you argue with each other like that, but you don’t bring other people into your drama.  Next one of you to be rude will be put in time-out until we lift off.” I decided to redirect them a bit.  “How about we play a game?” “What game?”  All of them asked that in unison, with Thistledown adding “And what do we win?” “Does everypony here know how to play Twenty Questions?”  Thankfully, they did.  We played until they started the liftoff countdown, with Windsong and Blackberry coming in when they got back.   “”Attention everypony, we will be departing in one minute.  For your safety, please stay in your acceleration couches until we clear the Barrier.  If you’re having trouble with your safety harness, please ask one of our attendants for help.”  The stallion on the PA system spoke calmly, which seemed to reassure many of the passengers.   “I’m going to miss Earth,” Windsong remarked.  “For all it’s problems, it was home.”  Most of the group agreed. “Not me.”  Lemongrass frowned.  “Nobody there wanted me.”  Poor kid.   “I know the feeling, myself.” I added, wishing I could get up and hug her.  “My family treated me like dirt.” “Thirty seconds to liftoff”.   “Sorry to hear that.”  Windsong reached out with a wing, brushing her feathers up against me from across the aisle.  I really didn’t know what to make of the look she gave me.  It was wistful, along with something else.   “Really sorry to hear that, Miss Frost.  Hope that whoever you go to live with in Equestria is as nice as you are.”  Shadow stretched his neck towards me in an attempt to nuzzle me or something, and barely succeeded in touching my foreleg with his horn. “Thanks, though to be honest, I wasn’t very nice as a human.”  That kinda caught me by surprise, though it certainly was true. “Fifteen seconds.” “At least you got better.”   “Thanks, Sammy.”   “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, liftoff!  We have liftoff!” As we lifted off, Cheddar began to sing a sad and mournful song, a familiar one for many of us that we all couldn’t help but listen to.  She poured emotion into every ancient verse, sorrow for the passing of an age, of a world.   O bonny Portmore, you shine where you stand And the more I think on you the more I think long If I had you now as I had once before All the lords in Old England would not purchase Portmore. O bonny Portmore, I am sorry to see Such a woeful destruction of your ornament tree For it stood on your shore for many's the long day Till the long boats from Antrim came to float it away. O bonny Portmore, you shine where you stand And the more I think on you the more I think long If I had you now as I had once before All the Lords in Old England would not purchase Portmore. All the birds in the forest they bitterly weep Saying, "Where shall we shelter or where shall we sleep?" For the Oak and the Ash, they are all cutten down And the walls of bonny Portmore are all down to the ground. O bonny Portmore, you shine where you stand And the more I think on you the more I think long If I had you now as I had once before All the Lords of Old England would not purchase Portmore. “That was beautiful, Cheddar.”  Comet’s voice was thick with emotion, as was his sister’s echo.  “Why did you decide to sing that?” “Well, when I was a tyke, about your age, or a little older” She glanced towards the foals as she said that, “My family was leaving Hobart, and I was pretty down about it.  So my mum sang that as we were getting on the plane to help me work through my feelings.  Hope I did OK with it.  Not used to singing alto.”   “You did great.”  Windsong smiled at the normally hyper Earth Pony.  “Not perfect, mind you, but that’s a matter of practice.  You have a beautiful singing voice, and it’d be a shame if you didn’t.” “Alright … I’d like to hear you sing something, if you don’t mind.”  Cheddar winked at her.   “As you wish.”  And she sang a song I wasn’t familiar with, and I lost myself in the lyrics, daydreaming of warm summer evenings around a campfire, laughing with friends.   “Now it’s your turn, Miss Frost.”  Thistledown practically begged.   “I don’t know … “  I blew my mane out of my vision as dramatically as I could, only for it to float right back.  Weightlessness was … annoying.   “You can do it! -- C’mon, Lukas. -- Pleeeeease?” “Oh, alright.  But only if you drop the ‘Miss’ and only call me ‘Frost’.” “Okay! -- Sure thing, Miss Frost, I mean Frost.” So I sang a Japanese lullaby my mother taught me.  It was the only song I knew that wasn’t some H.L.F. propaganda piece, and I don’t think I did very good with it - I hadn’t spoken the language since she’d died, and it kinda showed, as did my apprehension.   “Whoa, that was out of this world.”  Really, Cheddar?  We’re effectively in orbit, and that’s the best you can do.  “I mean, I caught maybe one word in three, but that was really something.”  That made me blush.   Of course, Windsong had to go and make it brighter.  “That was beautiful.  You’ll have to teach me that some day, along with what it means.”   “Sure, once life settles down.”  Which I didn’t expect to happen any day soon.  “So, who’s next?  Comet?” “No, why don’t we see how well the kids do?”   “Okay!  I want to go first! -- No, I want to! -- No fair, I called dibs!”   Guess it was time for somepony to intervene.  “Okay, I’m thinking of a number between one and ten.  Whoever’s closest gets to go first.” “Three -- Seven -- Five -- Four -- One” “Sammy was closest, I was thinking of eight.  She goes first, followed by Blackberry, Thistledown, Lemongrass, and Shadow goes last.”  That was met by an “Oh poo!”  “Don’t be sad.  That just means you’ll have a chance to bring down the house.”         It was then I’d noticed that we’d crossed the Barrier at some point without noticing, and had gravity again.  Figures.  Only trip I’ll ever have into outer space, and I spend it all keeping a bunch of grade schoolers entertained.           And speaking of grade schoolers, Sammy finally started to sing, an absurd and goofy parody of “Joy to the World” about a bug named “Bob”, of all things.  We all laughed at it.  Not just our group, either.  It spread through much of the ship.  Ponies asked her to sing it again, louder, so she did, just eating up the attention.  The resulting laughter and applause vibrated the deck.  And from there, our impromptu concert grew … the rest of our group of foals sang, and then other Ponies did their own routines, aided by the shuttle’s rather good acoustics.           It was nearly an hour later when we landed, and we were still passing songs around as we disembarked.  It ended with one of the attendants sharing a traditional Equish traveling song that apparently dated back over six thousand years.  It was sad, but hopeful, a song about leaving one home and searching for another.  Or at least that’s how she described it, I only knew a few words of Equish.   The weather on this side caught us off guard - it’d been unseasonably warm for April in Johannesburg, but here it was downright chilly, in the upper single digits centigrade.  Thankfully, we weren’t too uncomfortable, due largely to our new coats of fur.   Once we’d disembarked, the attendants kept us together for a brief announcement.  Rainbow Dash, still in her space suit sans helmet, hovered in front of us as she addressed our crowd.  “First, I want you to give yourselves a huge round of applause for that concert.  That was just awesome!”  Everypony cheered and stamped the ground - well, those of us who weren’t blushing furiously..  “Second, I wanted to let you know that I pulled a couple of strings, and you’re all going to Ponyville!”  Wait, Ponyville?  Not one of the villages scattered like stars across what Ponies were already calling the “Near Exponentials” - the parts of the Exponential Lands that were settled and in contact with the Heartlands - but the Heart of the Heartlands itself, the quintessential Equestrian town, on the doorstep of Canterlot!  “And before I let you go, I just want to remind you that you need to check in at the welcome building,” she gestured towards it with a forehoof, “After that, you’ve got the rest of the day to yourselves, and will head out in the morning.  Now, go have fun!”