My hooves slam into the hard wood of the apple tree. The tree shudders slightly, and approximately half of the apples in the crown fall to the ground, only a third of them landing in the basket sitting at the foot of the tree.
"Kick it harder, girl!" Applejack yells at me. "Get angry with it!"
We have been working in the fields to the south since near dawn. Applejack has been trying all morning to teach me how to, as she terms it, "applebuck." It annoys me that I am not as efficient as she is. "I apologize, Applejack. I was not aware that this would be as difficult as it is proving to be."
"Don't sweat it, A.M.P.," she replies. "You've just got soft hooves. Must be all that time lounging about in the castle."
I examine my foot plates. "My hooves are made of a titanium alloy, with a tensile strength of approximately 65,000 pounds-per-square-inch. It ranks at a 6.2 on the Mohs hardness scale, making it far harder and more durable than any standard pony hoof."
Applejack stares at me for a moment, seemingly dumbfounded, before she finally shakes her head and speaks. "There's no reason to get all defensive, sugar cube. Ah just meant that you're not used to hard work like this." She walks up to the tree I had just been attempting to clear and delivers a swift blow. The tree shudders and the remaining apples drop neatly into the basket. "Applebuckin' is a time-honored, Apple family tradition," she explains. "No one expects ya to get it right on the first try."
"I have been analyzing your technique all morning," I say. "I had believed that I had formulated the appropriate algorithms to replicate the effects."
Applejack chuckles. "It's not the technique, A.M.P. All the fancy mathematics in the world can't replace a genuine heart." She taps at my chest plate, approximately where my heart would be. "Ya can't constantly analyze everything, tryin' to reason out the perfect answer, ‘cause most of the time there ain’t one. Sometimes, ya gotta feel your way through your troubles."
"I am not sure I can do that," I say, not meeting her gaze.
"Well, you'll never get it with that attitude!" She leads me to the next tree. "Now, forget all that stuff about algorithms and technique, and just buck those apples!"
"I do not believe this will-"
"Quit yer blabbin' and buck the tree, girl!"
I raise my hind legs like Applejack had demonstrated earlier. I quit the routine I'd written for this task mid-run in an attempt to follow Applejack's advice. I closed my eyes and lashed out, willing the crop of apples to the ground.
"Atta girl!" I hear Applejack yell. I open my eyes to see all but one apple on the ground, with only a handful having missed the target basket.
I smile at the cheering farm-pony. "I suppose you were right. Perhaps there is more to this than just technique."
* * *
The morning wears on, and we make our way through each of the southern fields, one tree at a time. I am averaging a success rate of close to sixty percent, out of almost one hundred fifty trees. Applejack has yet to miss a single apple.
"Let's take a break, A.M.P.!" the orange earth pony calls. "It's gettin' a might thirsty out here."
I take that to mean that she wants a drink of water, and I join her at the water pump a few yards away. Her hat lies on the ground next to her and her blonde hair flows freely beneath the gushing tap. After a minute of cooling herself, she turns her head to one side and gulps down several mouthfuls of water.
"Ah don't suppose you'd like a turn," she says.
"No, thank you. Being drenched is a state I prefer to avoid."
"Oh, right." She shakes the excess water out of her hair and replaces her hat. "I keep forgettin' you're a robot."
"Automoton," another voice corrects her. We both turn to see Apple Bloom walking down the trail from the farmhouse, carrying her set of saddlebags. "How y'all doin' out here?"
"Just on break, little sis," Applejack replies. "How's Big Mac doin' with the cornfields?"
"Movin' through 'em no problem. How's everything here?"
Applejack wraps a hoof around my neck. "Our little android here is a regular apple bucker. We'll have her up to snuff in no time!"
I make a mental note to look up the etymology of the phrase "up to snuff" when I have the time. "It has been a tedious journey, but I believe I am beginning to acquire the… ‘knack’... for it."
"Well, good! Ah'm glad you're pickin' up on it. Ah just came by to make sure your systems weren't bein' overloaded from all the work." Apple Bloom produces a small display from her saddlebag and walks around me while it boots up. "Y'all haven't been too rough, have ya?"
"No, all work has been within optimal parameters thus far."
Apple Bloom nods and plugs the monitor in, looking rather intently at the screen. The icy tendrils from the display are quite subdued from the full size unit in my room, but it is still uncomfortable. "Your left rear number four servo needs a little adjustment, and you're burning battery life at a slightly accelerated rate, but everything else checks out!" She gives me a smile and puts the display away. "Are you having a good time, A.M.P.?"
"It is not what I define as a 'good time', Apple Bloom, but I do enjoy having a task to accomplish."
"And it's such a pretty day, too! Ah reckon we couldn't ask for a better start to apple buck season!" Applejack shakes the water out of her hair and replaces her hat. "Alright, back to work, y'all!"
* * *
We break for lunch after midday, and the Apple family retires to the farmhouse. While Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh rest on the couches in the living room, Applejack begins lunch preparations in the kitchen. Slightly puzzled by the unspoken allocation of duties, I approach the orange earth pony. "I have a question, Applejack."
She looks up from what appears to be an impressive sandwhich line. "Sure thing, Sugarcube! What can Ah do ya for?"
I file the odd diction away for further analysis. "I am curious as to how it was decided that you would prepare lunch for the others."
Applejack chuckles. "Well, shoot, darlin'. It's 'cause I had help this mornin'. The others didn't."
"So you based you decision on a principle of genaralized reciprocity based on your perceived exertions of labor."
She blinks at me a few times before shaking her head and continuing. "Ah suppose that's one way of lookin' at it. The fact of the matter is we've all been workin' hard this mornin'. But since Ah spent a lot of mah time coachin' you through the work, Ah decided Ah'd fix lunch for everypony. It's not really about who did what, it's about doin' somethin' nice for the ponies you care about."
I nod to her in understanding. "I see your point. Do you require assistance here?"
"Nah, Ah think Ah can handle it," she replies. "Why doncha go take a seat in the family room? It'll be a few minutes before lunch."
* * *
We return to the orchard after lunch to contiue working through the apple trees. We proceed at a pace that Applejack finds adequate, albeit slower than her average, until dusk, when Apple Bloom calls out that Twilight is on her way up the road.
"Quittin' time!" Applejack calls out. She picks up the last couple of baskets and makes her way toward the barn. I follow suit.
"Good evening, Applejack!" Twilight calls from the road.
"Evenin', Twi!" the farm pony responds. "Y'all head on up to the house. We'll be there in a jiffy!"
We deposit the apples in the cellar under the barn, and return to the house to join the others. Big Mac and Apple Bloom have already washed and are talking to Twilight in the living room. As we walk in, Twilight runs over to give me a hug. "There's my girl! How was your first day on the farm?"
"Productive," I reply. "By my calculations, we harvested approximately 40% of the apples on the farm, putting us roughly one hour, twenty-two minutes ahead of schedule."
Twilight gives Applejack a puzzled look, which the farm pony returns with a shrug. "She's a hard worker; we're glad for the extra help."
My creator turns back to me with a gentle smile. "Well, I'm glad you had a good day. Are you ready to meet everyone else? Pinkie was just about to burst with excitement before I left."
"Left where?" I ask
"The library! Pinkie insisted that we throw your 'welcome-to-Ponyville' party in the library. Half the town must be crowded in there by now."
"I see..."
"Everythin' alright, A.M.P.?" Apple Bloom inquires.
"I admit a certain amount of trepidation at the thought of a large social gathering. In past encounters, my prescence has made many ponies uncomfortable."
"This party's for you, sweetie," Twilight says.
"Regardless, has no one considered the possibility that I did not request this party and have no desire to attend it?"
"Ya can't avoid parties forever, A.M.P." Apple Bloom interjects. "At least at this one you'll have ponies you'll know."
I ponder this a moment while everyone waits for my decision. "You present a valid point, Apple Bloom," I finally concede. "Very well. Let us be off."
* * *
Twilight insists on being the first one through the door once we reach the library. "Pinkie has a habit of jumping out to surprise ponies. This way the trap is sprung by someone who is more prepared for it." However, before she can turn the latch, it opens from the inside.
What I believe at first to be a large, pink hairball appears in the door. "Hi, Twilight!" it exclaims rather loudly. "I know you thought I would set a surprise greeting even when you told me not to and would come in first, and I was really tempted to, but then I remembered that you said that A.M.P. was sensitive about parties and big groups and surprises and non-sequitors, so I decided not to! Oh, is this A.M.P.?"
It is quickly apparent that this must be the legendary Pinkie Pie that Twilight has so oft spoken of. She bursts out of the library more rapidly than I thought possible of organic life, stopping inches short of my face. Her smile is easily the largest feature on her face, its intensity only rivaled by that of her massive, curly pink mane.
"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! And this is your 'Welcome-to-Ponyville' Party! When Twilight said that she was bringing her automaton to Ponyville to study friendship just like she did, I knew that the best way to get introduced to everypony would be with a party in the library, just like when Twilight was here!" She does not give me time to respond before grabbing my hoof and pulling me around the inside of the tree, milling about with what appears to be the majority of the town's population. She rattles off names and features of the town, and I make a mental note that Pinkie must have an eidetic memory.
Pinkie must also be a master of theatricality, as she saves the remaining three Elements for last. "And finally, we have Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity! Twilight said you'll probably be spending most of your time with them!"
It is Rarity who first steps forward, hugging me lightly but warmly. "It is an absolute pleasure to meet you, darling," she fawns.
"Hi, I'm Rainbow Dash, best flier in all of Equestria!" The boldly colored pegasus holds out a hoof, which I bump tentatively. "What was that?" she asks disappointedly. "Hit it a little harder!" I reach back, and knock my hoof against hers loud enough for an audible smack. "Better. We'll work on it."
The last to step up and welcome me is the quiet yellow one. "Um, hi," she says, barely loud enough for my audio processors to make out over the noise of the party. "I'm Fluttershy." She makes only fleeting eye contact, and trembles slightly. It seems I am not the only one who gets nervous at social functions.
"It is nice to meet all of you," I say. "Twilight tells me you will be my primary contacts in Ponyville. I look forward to getting to know each of you personally."
Pinkie takes that as her cue to call out to the rest of the crowd, from behind a record player, "Let's get this party started!" Loud music begins to play from the gramophone. I make a note that she moves with an uncanny stealth and speed.
For the first part of the party, I stand off to one side of the library. Many of the Ponyville residents make their way to me and ask the same questions, primarily involving my former life in Canterlot, or how I am acclimating to Ponyville. I politely answer their questions, but deflect as many of them as I can.
I find myself incapable of determining whether or not the ponies in this town are trying to be genuine, or are putting on a brave face for the sake of the princess. As such, I decide that staying defensive is the best move, and most everypony picks up on it and moves along rather quickly. Unavoidably, Pinkie comes over to speak with me.
"Whatcha doing standing over here away from the party, silly?" she asks.
"I am not comfortable with large crowds, Pinkie Pie."
She cocks her head at me. "This is hardly a large crowd," she says indignantly. "Not even a third of the town is here! These are just some of Ponyville's more common citizens. Most everypony here runs a shop or a public service; they're the ones you're most likely to bump into on a stroll down main street. Practically none of the foals are here, and most of the day laborers are home sleeping!"
"Still, I find social situations exhausting at best, and stressful at worst."
"You just need to lighten up, silly filly! Get out on the dance floor and shake those hooves!" She jumps behind me, and pushes me toward a group of ponies who are dancing along to the music.
I smile awkwardly and attempt to mimic their movements, but the sudden, unpredicted change of pace threatens to overwhelm my processors. I notice that virtually everyone in the library is looking at me, many of them hiding giggles behind their hooves. I attempt to smile again, but it comes across as more of a grimace, and try to back out of the attention of the crowd.
Their eyes continue to follow me back towards my corner. I break eye contact, and commit myself to staring penitently at the floor. After a moment, one of the ponies approaches me.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
I'm sure that if I had sweat glands, they would be over-producing at the moment. "...Yes." I feel guilty for lying, but I would really just rather avoid the confrontation altogether.
"Are you sure? You don't seem so well." He steps forward and reaches out a hoof.
"Yes, quite sure," I respond quickly. "I just need a moment outside. The heat in the room is causing my cooling system to run in excess of standard operation. Please excuse me."
Without another word, I brush past the stallion and walk outside. There are a few ponies just outside the door cooling down as well, but I make no contact with them. After taking a few paces beyond the light spilling out onto the front lawn, I stop to look back.
I know that Twilight and the others organized this party to try to help me grow, but I think that this is one instance where they made a mistake. It is only outside that I notice how loud it had been inside. I make a decision that I have never made before in my life.
I disobey an instruction from Twilight, and set off for Sweet Apple Acres. And I do so without saying good-bye to anypony.
* * *
At home, I plug myself and perform a quick back-up save. It takes me some time to sort out the emotions that I feel: guilt, for having left the party against Twilight's wishes; stress, as a result of being unable to assemble an accurate, over-arching picture of the whole party; and fear I that unintentionally offended somepony during the evening.
I pull my stuffed doll close to me and snuggle up to it. It would be so much simpler if ponies were as non-judgemental and loving as stuffed animals. The lessons I learned on the farm today will serve me well in the future, but I can't help but think that Twilight's reasoning was flawed while trying to organize the party. "I guess they're not always right about everything, Princess Prettypants."
* * *