//------------------------------// // Chapter 8- Discord! You haven't gone far enough bud. // Story: What could go wrong? // by TheOctoWriter //------------------------------// Discord giggled with gee to himself. Oh... this is going to be good! for me that is. He watched as Thomas went through the motions of his everyday. Blissfully unaware that something terrible was about to happen. Discord couldn't hold back his excitement and squeaked a little as Thomas sauntered closer to him. Just as Thomas got within a few feet of Discord. The god of chaos decided to pop up. Understandably, this freaked Thomas out. "AHH! Discord?!" Thomas screamed, almost having a heart attack at the god getting up in his hairy unkempt grill. "Yes! It is I Discord!" Discord said, transforming his trademark goofy smile turning into a mocking sneer. "I've come to ruin you Thomas." Discord said, rather nonchalantly. "Ruin me?" Thomas asked, his face taking on a mixture of extreme confusion. "Yes, first I'll take somepony you love... and torture them right in front of you." Discord said, grinning fiercely. "Pfff... you don't even know who I like." Thomas said, as a smug grin crossed his face. Suddenly Discord teleported and held up a struggling Twilight Sparkle. "[Censored!]" Thomas said, cursing himself for his stupidity. "H-hey now. let's not do anything rash." Thomas said, as sweat trickled down his forehead. "Oh... is this rash?" Discord asked, as he started to slam Twilight on the ground repeatedly. "What?" Twilight yelled. "Is?" Twilight said. "Going?" Twilight squeaked "On?!!" Twilight screamed out in between getting slammed. "I don't know! Stay calm!" Thomas said, trying to calm her down. "Calm down!" "Are you crazy?!" "You mother-" Twilight was cut off as her face met the ground once more, knocking her out. "Hahaha!" Discord said, laughing at her pain. "Dude, what the [Censored] Man?" Thomas said, clearly pissed that Discord would do something so brutish. "Oh... I'm sorry Thomas." Discord said with mock sympathy "You ruin my fun, I destroy yours!" Discord said, cackling like a mane-iac. "Now let's see what else I can ruin in your life." Discord said to Thomas, giving him a smirk. "Ah, how about your precious friends..." Discord said, chuckling with glee as he teleported the rest of the mane 6 to him. "What the hay?" Applejack cried out in shock. "Oh my..." Fluttershy said, blushing. "This is the WORST POSSIBLE THING." Rarity said, then resisted the urge to faint. "Okay, this is definitely... not awesome." Rainbow Dash with a frown. SURPRISE MOTHER[Censored!] "It's me! Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie yelled with joy. She gave us a big smile. "What?" "Who are you talking to." The mane 5 said, staring at Pinkie like she was crazy. "The readers! Duh!" Pinkie said, her smile growing wider. "The readers?" The mane 5 murmured with confusion. Even Discord was having a hard time comprehending "Okay sugarcube, I'm not one to curse but..." Applejack started to say. "What the [censored] are you on Pinkie?" "Hay salts?!" "Nope!" Pinkie said bouncing over to them. "I'm on crystals!" "I didn't even know crystals could be smoked." Applejack said, scratching her head in confusion. "Why do you think I made extra rock candy..." Pinkie said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "It's not for [censored]... my [censored] out." "I'll tell you that much." "I don't even..." Discord said as he strained to comprehend. "My brain..." "I'm gonna-" KA BOOM! Discord's head exploded. The mane 6 thought it was over. SUDDENLY. His body exploded too. This caused the mane 6 to be covered in blood and guts. Discord's lungs were slowly sliding off of Rainbow's- STOP! We're rated E for Everyone... REMEMBER?! Oh horseapples... you're right. The mane 6 were actually covered in... confetti! And rainbows shot out of the sky. Everypony wins. Just get back to the story. Right, sorry about that. Discord's wasn't dead though. A blinding white light emitted from his body as he brought himself back to life. "Hello again..." Discord said, as he wiped a little bit off his shoulder. "Woozie!" Pinkie exclaimed in excitement. "Now it's my turn to be shocked." "Really?" Discord said, his voice becoming hopefully. "Nope. Not a bit." Pinkie said, her voice deadpanning. "[censored] it." Discord said, facetaloning. "DISCORD!" Thomas yelled as he rushed towards the god of chaos. "Oh cheese biscuits... not this guy again..." Discord said, as he sighed with annoyance. Discord didn't even have time to say anything before Thomas bulldozed him. "I'll make you bleed confetti you [censored!]" Thomas yelled, his eyes turning green in fury. "Well, this isn't turning out how I wanted to." Discord said as he got clawed furiously by Thomas. "Ta ta for now." Discord said, disappearing in a flash of white light. "[censored]." Thomas muttered. "So, what now?" Applejack asked, twirling her beautiful blonde hair in confusion. "Now we wait darling..." Rarity said, looking bored. Discord reappeared. He grabbed Pinkie. "Thomas, surrender to me or the pink one dies!" Discord shouted, his eyes going crazy. "No! Don't hurt her!" Thomas yelled. Pinkie bit Discord. "ARGHHH!" Pinkie yelled, like a rabid dog. "Ow, what the [censored?!]" Discord shouted in pain as he rubbed his sore talon. "Fine.. be that way." Discord said as he threw Pinkie to the ground. "NO!" Thomas yelled, as he tried to catch her from falling. Too bad Thomas was slow. "Ow!" Pinkie said, as her head smacked into the ground. Discord then grabbed Rarity. "Don't her hurt either!" Thomas said. Discord then put Rarity down and grabbed Applejack. "Not her either!" Discord sighed and put Applejack down. Then he grabbed Fluttershy. "Meh, I guess you can hurt her." Thomas said. "Really?" Discord asked as he begun to use her as a jump rope. "Sure." Thomas said nonchalantly. Applejack came over and nudged Thomas in the ribs hard. "I think I heard a rib crack." Thomas squeaked out as he hear a cracking noise. "I... I mean LET HER GO DISCORD!" Thomas yelled weakly. "Wow... way to be a buzzkill..." Discord said as he dumped Fluttershy on the ground. "Are you okay?" Thomas asked, as he went over to Fluttershy. "T-t-thanks." Fluttershy said as she held back tears. "I'll be fine." Fluttershy claimed as she curled up in the fetal position. "Righhht..." Thomas said, then looked at Discord. "Discord." "I will end you." So onto the next section. Aww... but Octo I wanted to find out what happens now. Shut up Pinkie, you're lucky to be alive. Ah boo... you're no fun! Fun?! How would dying be fun? You don't know my fetishes. I really don't Pinkie... I'm going to go now. That would be best. WARNING THE FOLLOWING EPISODE OF THOMAS KUN NO BAKAMONOGATARI CONTAINS: ANIME CLICHES WEEB CRINGE THAT IS OVER 9000. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK Y-YOU BAKA. "Discord!" Thomas screamed as he lunged towards him. "I'm serious this time!" Thomas threw everything he had into that lunge. The force of the claw swipe hit Discord like a train. "AHHH!" Thomas continued to yell in typical anime fashion as he pummeled Discord with his hairy fists. Im- impossible! Discord thought as he barely blocked Thomas's blows. How can he be so strong? "BEAR OVERKILL PUNCH!" Thomas yelled in fury as his fist burned a hole through Discord's heart area. This punch was so overpowered it caused the screen to turn white. "What the [censored]?!" Discord thought in a panic as his chest blooded in a showered of confetti. "Nya! Thomas kun is so sugoi!" Pinkie Pie shouted with joy. "Shut up you genki harem genre cliche!" Thomas yelled. "Pffttt.... y-you're such a idiot for not paying attention during a fight. IDIOT!" Rainbow Dash yelled, blushing fiercely for no reason. "[Censored], you're right overused tsundere cliche!" Thomas said, laughing loudly. SUDDENLY Discord took this opportunity to backhand Thomas hard. "THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE SATIRE!" Discord yelled with the fury of one thousand suns. Thomas flew into a wall due to the impact. Thomas got up like it was nothing. Now he was even more determined to bring Discord down. "What's with that look in your eyes?" Discord taunted like a little [censored]. Thomas just started growling and slowly stomped towards Discord. *Cue overly dramatic anime music* "Oh, C'mon you [censored] [censored]!" Rainbow Dash yelled in impatience. "Just kill him already!" "THE ONE PUNCH THAT DESTROYS EVIL!" Thomas shouted as he very slowly punched Discord. "ARGHHHH!" Discord screamed in pain as a bright light consumed him. "I see now." "You're a brave and noble bear." "You've defeated me so lets be friends!" Discord said smiling. "Yoshi!" Thomas yelled, getting excited. "Now we enter a filler!" "Nani?!" Everyone else yelled with confusion. *Cue anime transition screen* Thomas found himself back home. "AUGHHH!" Thomas said, yawning loudly bumping into something. *Squish* "Wha?" Thomas said as he opened his eyes. "HOLY CELESTIA! DEM TITTIES THOUGH!" Thomas said as he stared at the mane six's funbags. "Wait, why are all of you naked and on top of me?" "It's cause we're now one-dimensional harem female protagonists." The mane 6 replied. "No... that's not possible." Thomas said, shaking his head in disbelief. "No Thomas kun, we'll show you!" Pinkie Pie said excitedly. "Stop calling me that!" Thomas said, brimming with annoyance. "I'm a Tsundere." Rainbow Dash said. "I don't believe you." Thomas said. "Sh-sh-shut the [censored] up, I'm not doing this for your benefit!" Rainbow Dash said loudly, then blushed. "I'm the cool big sis." Applejack said, smiling at Thomas. "No way... you're not-" But he was interrupted as Applejack ruffled his fur playfully. "Feel my... my oppai Thomas." Applejack said as she shoved Thomas's face into her oppai. "Okay I believe you." Thomas said, as he sweatdropped. "What about you?" Thomas said, as he pointed to Fluttershy. "O-oh... I'm the dandere." Fluttershy managed to squeak out. But Spike held up a hand to stop her. "Said no more. I believe you." Thomas said as he observed the remaining two heroines. "So, what about you?" Thomas said, gesturing to Rarity. "You really can't figure it out?" Rarity said, her eyebrows slanting with annoyance. "No..." Thomas said. Rarity sighed loudly then told him. "I'm the one girl that you've known for all your childhood." "But spoilers.... I won't [censored] you." "Darn..." Thomas muttered. "I really wanted your cat." "So now we get to you." Thomas said as he slid over to Twilight. "Ah yes Thomas kun." Twilight said smiling widely at him. "I'm the hot nerdy girl that likes to read." "And I have glasses!" Twilight promptly put on her glasses and struck a pose for Thomas. "I... I... HNNNGH!" Was all Thomas could said before he felt the blood rush to a certain part of his body. "I'm going to do naughty things to you later." Thomas whispered in Twilight's ear. Twilight blushed even more fiercely than Rainbow. "I look forward to it Thomas kun." Twilight said, as she stroked his fur. "STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Thomas yelled angrily. "B-but I thought you liked that." Twilight said, looking confused. "I don't even know what that means!" Thomas said, his eyebrows scrunching in annoyance. "I'm gonna go outside now." Thomas said, as he sauntered outside his house. "Wait!" "What about us?" Twilight asked, gesturing to the rest of the mane 6. "Oh... well you ladies can join me if you want." Then Thomas had a unintentional harem following him around. *Cue upbeat anime background music* "Ohayo Thomas-" "Whoa, you didn't tell me about all those hotties you got!" Spike said. "I didn't?" Thomas said as he stared at his entourage. "Huh..." "Well, meet Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Pinkie." Spike leaped into the air and tried to grope Applejack's oppai. Applejack dodged his groping claws and punched him in the face. Spike got knocked to the ground. "OW! I'm never doing that to you again." Spike said as he started trying to grope the other girls. "KYAAA!" Twilight screamed as she tried to fend off Spike. "Whoa..." Was all Thomas could see as he watched it unfold. "STOP!" Discord yelled as he teleported onto the scene. "Aren't we suppose to be fighting now!" Discord said, pointing a talon at Thomas. "Right..." Thomas said. "Let's dance Discord!" "Wow, way to be cliche hero." "Shut up!" Thomas said as he started punching Discord. "[Censored]! At least give me a moment to get ready!" Discord said in between blows. "AUGHHH!" Thomas said as his clumsiness caused him to trip and fall flat on his face. "HAHAHA!" Thomas's harem laughed at him. "You suck at standing up Thomas!" Applejack said. "Booo!" Rarity jeered. "Go back to crawling like a baby!" Twilight cried out. Discord took this golden opportunity to get serious. He swiped his talon at Thomas's exposed back. The laughter suddenly stopped. "Thomas..?" His harem called out, worried. Confetti trickled out of Thomas's wound. "Thomas, we're sorry about all the [censored] we said about you!" "Just please... get up." Twilight said, barely containing tears. "I'll make you food." Pinkie Pie said, sniffling. "I won't tease you anymore." Applejack said, baring a sullen look. "I'll sleep with you for real." Rarity said. "In a non sexual way Darling..." "I'll... finally admit my feelings for you." Rainbow Dash said, in between sobs. "I'll stop being..." Fluttershy was about to say but couldn't. She's too shy unfortunately. "ORAAAAAAH!" Thomas yelled as he quickly got back up. "How is that possible?!' "I hit you with my most powerful attack!" "Discord, you're forgetting one thing!" "I have the power of friendship on my side!" "My friends, their hearts, their feelings." "THAT'S WHAT GIVES ME STRENGTH!" Thomas had done it. He had broken his limits! "Really now?" "That is so cliche!" "SHUT UP!" Thomas said as he freaking teleported in front of Discord and smacked him. "AUGGGH!" Discord yelled as he flew into a concrete wall. "THAT WON'T STOP ME!" Discord yelled from the rubble as he stepped out in his true form. Thomas tried not to vomit. Discord was now a disgusting combination of giant crab, octopus, and Minotaur. He had two giant crab claws that were bloodied for no particular reason. Lots of tentacles that spewed out of his back. And a hairy chest area. Combine all that with his face and you got something that would scare the likes of H.P Lovecraft. "Whoa, you ugly." Thomas said as he faced his now upgraded opponent. "A*$@%#0>!" Discord cried out as he lunged towards Thomas. Luckily Thomas had the power of friendship and delivered a blindingly fast and overpowered kick to the thing that was Discord. Discord promptly exploded in a shower of confetti and streamers. Then he regenerated to his former self. "I-" Discord was about to say. Then he exploded again. Rainbows shot out of the sky. Bits rained from the clouds. The mane 6 then glomped Thomas immediately after. It was a good thing Thomas wasn't covered in confetti and streamers... "We lied." The mane 6 said. "What?!" Thomas said, confused. "We all love you!" "And we've decided to sleep with you too!" "All at once?" Thomas asked. "Of course!" The mane 6 replied all of them giving Thomas big smiles. *Ending theme song plays* TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE NOT SEQUEL OF THOMAS KUN NO BAKAMONOGATARI.