Blank

by Carrier of Heartbreak

S2E3: Uncomfortable

"Welcome to the-! Oh, morning, Ryan."

"Morning, Willy," I responded with a mirthful grin. The guy manning the cash register narrowed his eyes at me, daring me to continue with my current path.

"It's either 'William' or 'Billy.' Maybe 'Bill.' But when you call me 'Willy,' it just sounds like you're calling me a dick," he said, his voice low and hostile. It was so friggin easy to get this guy into a twist, so of course I called him Willy every time we worked together. Hell, I'd probably stop if he stopped reacting so nicely, but he just never got the hint. It was almost a routine, at this point.

"Sorry, Dick," I answered as I walked by him, towards the back room. A bottle of water jostled in my grip, with my other hand shoved deep into my pocket and fondling my phone. Billy let out a grunt of fury, but I was already too far away for him to be able to retaliate. My finger finally found the little button I was looking for it and forced it into the other position. With a click and a bzz, I silenced my phone for the day.

The back room was the same as it always was, with tons of shoes lining the twelve-foot shelves. Some empty boxes were left around, still needing to be put away after the last shipment. No matter how many times I've been through shipment, I still always end up being the one who had to clean up everybody's messes...oh, well. Still liked the job. The people were usually nice and I got along well with the other workers, most of the time. Oh, and the commission was pretty good for how relaxed and easy the job really was.

I stored my phone, wallet and water in the back before returning up front to clock in. Looking around me, I could see that things were fairly calm, with only a few customers browsing the store shelves. Looked like it was just Billy and I tod-

Thump

A small surge of pain shot through me as I was, once again, blindsided by Rebecca. Another day, another punch in the back. I never really knew why she loved hitting me so much, but it was oddly adorable. If I didn't have such a weakness for smaller girls, or if she was stronger, I would have put a stop to it long ago. As it was, I was just her daily punching bag. Maybe she did it because I never seemed to mind?

"Heya, Becca," I greeted the small girl staring up at me. She didn't respond, at least not verbally. Her bright grey eyes remained locked with mine for a few more awkward moments before she nodded and looked away. For as long as I had been working with her, I still didn't really know what her voice sounded like. Sure, I'd heard it a few times, but I couldn't narrate anything in her voice in my head, if that makes any sense. She was strange...why work retail if you didn't like talking? That was like working a desk job while being allergic to paper.

When I started away, I noticed that Rebecca was trying to stealthily follow behind me, as she always did. I sighed and tried ignoring her; I wondered if she did that because she liked me, or was just being adorably creepy. Most of the time, it felt like the later. My eyes locked with Bill's, and he gave me a 'This shit again?' look. I responded with a roll of my eyes and a shrug. Couldn't really stop her without her hitting me even harder. As light as her hardest punches were, she often chose to hit the same spot multiple times.

Rebecca, Queen of Bruises.

But seriously, her treatment of my body was getting on my manager's nerves. It was a good thing she was out today, or she might have lost her shit at Rebecca again. It had only been, what, a week since then? That was the strangest thing I had ever seen; an argument between two people, in which one didn't say anything. Somehow, Rebecca found ways of getting her point across without vocal assistance.

She was the store's little magician.

Doing my best to ignore my cute little stalker, I went up to the register and quickly punched in while Bill was chatting it up with a girl he had just sold some shoes to. Ah-ha, hanging out with younger girls in spandex, I see! I love you, Willy, but you can't be doing that, come on! Well, it wasn't that he couldn't, it was more like he was goddamn terrible at it. I could see the jitters starting already, and he was still rambling on about the weather. The girl just looked at him, probably trying to tell if he was serious or not. I stealthily moved the box of pepper spray that we had for sale away from the girl, in case she got any ideas on how to defend herself from the Willy assault.

Oop, there went the sports. Men: Masters of Small Talk. Except when trying to talk to a potential partner. In which case, a good portion of us became stuttering messes. Well, until we get older and stop caring about how we look.

"Oookay, then. Thanks for the shoes aaaaand have a good one!" the girl said nervously, fast-walking out of the store with her shoes in hand. In her haste to get away from Bill's 'charms', she had even forgotten her receipt. Bill stared down at the slip of paper, contemplating the train wreck of a conversation that he just spewed forth from his lips.

"That was amazing, man. Seriously, I'm blushing over here. Look at my cheeks, they're friggin' glowing!" I teased, wrapping my arm around the shoulders of the smaller, forlorn guy next to me. Bill shivered and looked up, glancing at my cheeks, which we red from the effort it took not to burst out laughing.

"Dude, fuck you," he mumbled, quietly enough that I was the only one who could hear it. I was sure he wanted to say much more, much louder, but he was on the clock. An explicit employee didn't look too good in the eyes of the owners. Of course, that just made messing with him all the more fun.

"Hmm...nah, sorry. Maybe if you used make-up once in awhile, I'd consider it," I chuckled. Bill just rolled his eyes and went back to work, trying to tune me out of his life. A tiny blur flew by me and ran right up to the spot behind Bill.

Thump

"Ow! What the hell, Rebecca?!" Billy shouted in surprise, clutching the spot on his back where she had smacked him. I'm sure it didn't hurt him, but it sure as hell scared him. So what, was Becca like my little attack dog or something? Anybody messes with me, and she was there to deliver swift and immediate justice upon their lower spine.

Just like another little girl I knew.

I felt a little hand place itself firmly on my arm as Bill tried rubbing away the pain she had inflicted upon him. My eyebrow lifted at the little girl that was touching me, her eyes locked in a glare upon the man who dared say something mean to me. Huh...was she claiming me or something?

"Becca, do that again and I'll report it!" Bill growled once he stopped feeling the throb of impact. Rebecca flinched and quickly moved behind me, placing my body between her and the raging man at the register. Cash Ragister. Ha.

With a roll of my eyes and a crack of my knuckles, I moved back out of the checkout area, pushing Rebecca out with my body. I had only been working for about a minute and already I had to deal with those two fighting. How the hell was Becca still working here? Oh well, maybe the rest of the day would look calm by comparison.

"Welcome to theeee..." I heard Billy start, his programmed greeting fading away. That was odd, he usually said his line like a good little robot. What was standing in the door that would cause him to go all stupid like that? A familiar tingle of paranoia invaded my senses as I turned around, bringing my mind right back to where I had landed on the ground after I almost got flattened by a van a few weeks ago.

My breath caught in my throat as I saw her standing there in the open doorway, in all her unnatural glory. She wasn't wearing the same clothes, but...they were still as senseless as before. She was wearing a thin yellow shirt that was now too small, and...no...bra...

Well, at least she had a coat to cover the parts of her that were being squeezed together by her shirt! A red rain coat to be precise, a red rain coat that was waaaay too big on her. That's the little alien I know, wearing clothes she could live in like a tent. Her hair was a bit longer, but it was kinda hard to tell with how damn messy it was. Had she ever heard of a brush before?

She was wearing pants, which for some reason surprised me. What didn't surprise me was that they were torn to shreds at the bottoms. Had she bought them that way? I swear, recent fashion must have left me in the dust or something. Was I already getting old enough to start spouting those 'in my day-!' lines? Oh god...

Her shoes were...where were her shoes? I remember that she had some when I saved her ass from that soccer mom, but now her feet were bare. Bare and bloody, from the reddened section at the bottom that was barely visible from where she was standing.

All three of us were staring, with Rebecca moving slightly to the side of me to get a better view at the paradox standing in the doorway. I guess I wasn't the best window. Once Becca got sight of the similarly-sized girl staring back at her, she moved back behind me and...friggin hissed. Damn, Rebecca is weird as shit.

As we watched, the girl slowly walked into the store, one pained footstep at a time. Her gaze locked onto me and she flinched, her eyes widening for some reason. They stayed on me as she walked to one end of the store, before she ducked out a sight. What the hell- oh, she better not be trying to steal some fucking shoes. I saved her shit, and she comes to my place of work to rob it? Hope not...

Bill turned to me and gave me a look of absolute confusion. It seemed he didn't know how to process what he had seen, even though we had all seen it. Perhaps he didn't believe it? Rebecca shuffled around me, keeping me between the new girl and herself the entire time. Whoa, something that even Becca was afraid of? Well, crap in my pants and call me a sinner. Something was up with the traffic-humping alien.

I gave Bill a nod, but he was still too lost in his own stupor to respond. Once I had pried Rebecca away from behind me, I set her off to do her own thing and made my way towards the girl. I didn't want her thinking I was spying on her, but...well, she was acting a bit suspicious. Most of the time, before someone tried to steal something, they would glare at us from over shelves to see if we were watching. A quick flash of movement told me that she was indeed catching glances at me. When she saw me looking back, and much closer than before, she made a little squeak sound and shuffled out of sight.

"Weird," I heard a small voice say from behind me. For the slightest of moments, I startled at the thought of the girl somehow materializing behind me, after I had just seen her on the other side of the shelf. That would have taken...well, teleportation. No living creature could be that fast. Turning myself around when my heart had started again, I found that it was actually the more familiar of the little girls in the store.

Huh, so that's what Becca sounded like. Very small and meek, but firm at the same time. It gave me the feeling that a more commanding voice was hiding inside, but the girl's small form kept it from coming out. Being held back was just making the deeper voice angrier and more determined to find a way to the outside.

I stared down at Becca, waiting for her to say more. She gave me one last look before turning around and going to work on cleaning up a different isle. Look who was calling who 'weird.' Now, where was the girl I was supposed to be watching?

I spun around and came face to face with the girl. My heart nearly stopped once more as I backed up, trying to regain my personal bubble that had been breached.

Too close, too close!

The girl also squeaked, as if she didn't expect me to see her standing right the fuck there. She moved away, looking around like she was trying to find somewhere to hide herself. Finding nothing but shoes, she just stood stock still and stared into my eyes. Holy...her eyes. I forgot they were so pretty. Had I noticed before? My memory wasn't the best, usually only keeping track of larger details, but damn...I loved teal. How did she get her eyes to be such a bright teal? Maybe she had some of those contacts. That idea seemed a bit weird to me, seeing as she could barely dress herself. How would she know where to get those contacts?

"Uh...hello. Glad to see you're okay. Can I help you find anything?" I managed to say, trying my best to ignore how the girl was cowering in front of me. I...really didn't like it when people were afraid of me. Had that tackle made her think I was trying to hurt her? I hoped she knew I was just trying to save her...

The girl blinked at my words, her expression of caution becoming one of just plain confusion. I took a step back, allowing her some more space to regain herself, before clasping my hands together in front of me so that she could see them. My motions seemed to work, as she visible relaxed, letting her shoulders slump a bit.

"N-no...we are doing...well..." she spoke softly, looking down at my legs, or somewhere down there. Wait, 'we'?

"Oh, is there someone else with you?" I asked, looking around to the front of the store. Huh, only thing I could see was Bill, still being stupid or something at the register. Becca was glaring at me from the other side of the store, her head just barely visible from over one of the half-shelves. So, nothing different there.

When I looked back at the girl, I noticed she was a bit closer. She no longer looked confused...well, she did, but not in a nervous way. She looked more curious, now. I swallowed a bit of the stale saliva that had been building up under my tongue and looked down at the weirdness in front of me.

"No, we are alone," she replied, her eyes looking me up and down. Oh shit. I chewed my lip nervously, taking a slight step back from her probing gaze.

"Uhm...I need an adult..." I said before I could stop myself. If I had to rate how well that joke fit the moment, I'd only give it four stars. She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. Too. Cute.

"We...are an adult," she replied blandly, her face telling me that she now thought I was stupid. Wait, she got the reference!

"Cool, you've seen those videos, too?" I asked, giving her an excited smile. Her reaction was to give me an even stranger look. Okay, so she had no idea what I was talking about, and just happened to repeat the line. I should have seen that sooner; she didn't even get the line completely right. Who was the second person in the 'we' that she kept using?

"Nay," she said, her expression returning to curious. She took another step closer, her eyes wandering around my body as if it was the next marvel of science. What the hell was so interesting about me?

"Uh...are your feet okay? They look kind of, uhm...cut up," I asked, genuinely concerned for her. Walking around with open cuts on your feet was a good way of getting infections. She blinked and looked down at the red marks just visible from where we were standing. Leaning against a shelf so that she didn't fall over, the girl slowly picked her one leg up and bent it so that-

Oh shit. Those were some deep cuts. To hell with infections, she needed a damn hospital if she wanted those feet any longer than a few days. She must have seen my eyes widen, because she quickly lowered her foot away from my sight. I didn't ignore the pained expression she had as her foot made contact with the ground.

"They are...fine...we are just in need of some...some..." she stuttered, gesturing towards the hundreds of boxes that lined the shelf next to her. Did she not even know what shoes were? What happened to the ones she had been wearing?

"S-sure...but...your feet really need some medical attention, Miss," I said as politely as I could. The last time I tried telling a customer something relating to their health, I got an earful from them about minding my own business. With this girl, it wasn't so black and white. If I had just minded my own business a few weeks ago, she's likely be dead. In a way, I felt responsible for this girl, now.

With a small smirk, she lifted her foot to show me-

Nothing. No cuts.

How.

In.

The.

FUCK?!

I just saw them! Just seconds ago, there were cuts! How would she be able to hide the gashes without moving or healing or...anything?! She must have been waiting for my reaction, because she started laughing at my stunned expression. I instinctively backed away from the alien female, my eyes locked on her and waiting to see if she would attack. In the back of my mind, I knew she wouldn't, but my mind was filled with too many random, scared thoughts to be able to function normally. She had just broken me.

"How...b-but...I..." came drooling from my lips. What else was I supposed to say? Was this little alien girl magic or some shit? She took another step closer, bringing forth the tingling feeling once more. I had been feeling it the whole time, but now, with her so close, it was hard to ignore.

"You are...different," she said calmly, her perfect foot placing itself a step closer. A hissing sound could be heard in the next isle over, signaling that Rebecca was close and probably trying to protect her territory. I ignored it and stared at the girl in front of me.

"Me? Different? And all this time, I thought I was just another clone..." I groaned sarcastically, my humorous side fighting to take control of my actions. It was my classic coping mechanism, but it had been sadly absent since the girl walked into the store. She seemed to have the same effect on Billy, who was still acting like a beached fish up at the register. A line of customers had developed, the first few poking the comatose man to see if he was even still alive. The hissing sound retreated until I could no longer hear it. At the same time, Rebecca appeared at the counter and did...something that caused Billy to yelp and jump back.

Heh.

"Hmhmhm..." the girl in front of me giggled. That was the single cutest giggle I'd ever heard. I may or may not have adopted a dopey grin from hearing that angelic chuckle. She noticed my stupid face and stopped giggling, choosing instead to watch me with interest. I held the expression for a few more...minutes...before snapping back to reality.

"So, uh...heh, want to try on some shoes?" I asked her warmly, wiping the impossible regeneration from my mind and going back into salesperson mode. She tilted her head again, a few bunches of messy, dirty blonde hair falling down in front of her one eye. She was seriously trying to give me a damn heart attack.

"Shoes...uhm...yes. That sounds reasonable," she said, turning to look at the shelves next to us. Many stacks of sandals stared the girl in the face as she took in exactly what the store was here to sell. Why did she talk so weird?

...I'd answer that as soon as I figure out how she healed her foot so fast.

"So, what kind were you looking to get? I'd usually recommend something to go along with your outfit, but, eh..." I trailed off, trying to hint that I had no idea what she was going for with her clothing. And looking just drew my eyes to the tight shirt squeezing her chest again. A quick spin towards the shelf, and my blushing face was hidden from her. Was I a pervert? Come on, they were squeezing together right in front of my face! There was nothing I could do...

"Hmm. Why...why don't you assist us in deciding?" she answered in her oddly formal way. I smirked at her and crossed my arms.

"Thought I was doing that already~" I sang, my grin widening. The girl gave an adorable pout and looked down. We went without saying anything else for upwards of a minute. By that point, I was seriously afraid I had offended her or something. Before I could attempt to apologize, she spoke up.

"Why did you assault us those few weeks ago?" she asked, looking at the shelf instead of me. I blinked in surprise and immediately objected to her view on what had happened.

"I didn't! I pushed you out of the way of that van! If I hadn't, you could have died," I explained, a pang of indignation shooting through me. She thought I had attacked her? But...I had saved her...

"W-what? How...how do you know this?" she asked, her eyes widening and her chest expanding as she took a gulp of air. The tight shirt wasn't helping her at all.

"You were kinda standing in the middle of the road. A van almost hit you, I moved you," I explained further. While I spoke, she stared at me in utter disbelief, trying to take it the fact that she could have ended up as a road pizza.

"You...so that's...were you harmed?" she managed to ask, her eyes moving back up to me with a new gloss to them; she was tearing up. No no no no no no no, no crying! I lifted my hands and moved around a little, showing her that I was fine.

"I'm good! Just a little road burn on my arm is all," I assured her. She responded by moving to me before I could stop her and grabbing my arm. I might have tugged away from such an aggressive act, but something about her...it kept me standing there. She said I was different, and I was feeling the same way about her. That tingle...it was like a tickle that only went away just then when she made contact with me.

She examined my left arm all around until she saw the red section on my elbow that I had only recently uncovered. Burns tended to leak, so I had been wearing a large bandage up until a few days ago. Her eyes turned sad as she glared at the wound I had received while saving her ass.

"W-we...we apologize for causing your pain..." she mumbled sadly, her eyes looking down to the floor in apparent guilt. She was about to cry again, I could feel it! I quickly moved my arm away from her line of vision and smiled warmly at her.

"Hey, hey. It was either you being dead...or a burn on my arm. Easiest life or death choice I've had to make since...the last time I pushed someone out of the way of a car," I said happily, trying to cheer her up with my demeanor. She looked up slowly into my eyes, giving me the shivers once again. Holy crap, those eyes!

"We suppose that is true...thank you, brave gentlecolt," she said, her mood lifting visibly. "And how many times have you had to shove others out of the way of harm?" I tilted my head at the use of that 'gentlecolt' word. Before it could bother me any, I just shoved it into the 'deal with later' box in my mind, right next to her use of the word 'we.'

"First time~" I chuckled playfully, pretending to browse the shelves for something she could try on. She blinked at me before crossing her arms.

"You seem to have an affinity for teasing," the girl said up at me with a knowing smirk.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Princess," I joked, poking fun at her overly-fancy manner of speaking. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she stumbled back a few steps. It was like I had just revealed to a spy that I knew their secret, or something. I didn't know what to make of it, so I just stared at her blankly.

"Y-you...how?!" she demanded. The only response she got from me was a shrug and a lifted eyebrow.

"How what?" I asked innocently. I really didn't have any idea what was going on, so it wasn't difficult to look into her eyes. Her suspicious expression softened after a few moments of staring at me.

"Nothing...it was nothing..." she mumbled, before turning back to the shelf and staring at it. I could tell from the lack of movement in her eyes that she wasn't taking in a single possible footwear option. Her slumped shoulders gave me the impression that giving her a moment would be a good idea. I took a step back and shoved my hands into my khaki pockets, my mind taking its first rest in awhile. It had quite a load of things to process once this interaction was over with.

Before I could start playing over the events from the past ten minutes or so, I was assaulted by a small body forcefully grabbing a hold of mine. For a second, I thought she was attacking me. My fears quickly faded away once my body started tingling warmly, the gloriously amazing signs of a hug.

She was hugging me.

She was warm.

She was tiny.

Her chest was pressing up against my stomach. I could feel both of her breasts, the individual sensations making me shiver with discomfort. Why was she doing this to me?! I save her life, and she boob-tackles my stomach! How dare she not wait for me to crouch down before doing that!

"Thank you..." she whispered into my chest. A bright blush gathered in my cheeks, my entire body heating up. Oh, it was like she knew my exact weaknesses...well, except for the tongue thing. If she knew about that, I doubt I'd be single for much longer that it would take her to say 'Ahh.' It took all of my willpower to drag my mind out of the gutter and back into reality, with the small, adorable girl and her breasts pressed against me.

Abort, abort! Reality is just as perverted!

"It's fine, really. I'm just glad you're okay," I replied honestly, my face still warm and red. She looked up at me, a blush of her own written across her features. She sniffed a little bit and smiled, her own happiness only boosting my own. "I'm Ryan, by the way. Ryan 'Balls' Burbank."

"Balls?" she asked curiously, her nose scrunching cutely. Awwww~

"It's so that I remember which gender I identify as," I explained, my tone disarmingly serious. She blinked a moment before rolling her eyes and sighing.

"Stallions," she mumbled under her breath. I didn't think she meant for me to hear that. What, was she one of those horse girls? She was like the nerd of horse girls, if that was the case. Awesome.

"So, got a name I can call you buy, besides 'the girl?'" I asked. For a second, she looked panicked. Her eyes darted around the shelves for something, before settling on a box of Sarah Belle slippers.

"Sarah! My name is Sarah..." she claimed violently, like she was just hearing it for the first time herself. From what I could tell, she was. Oh, well, if she doesn't want me to know her real name, then that was her decision. All she was to me was a girl I saved from traffic, so it wasn't like I was entitled to know.

"Hey, Sarah, nice to meet you. If only this was our first meeting," I laughed, subconsciously rubbing the burn on my arm. She smiled sheepishly and rubbed her own arm along with me.

"Sorry, again," she said quickly. I waved her apology off and actually looked at the shelf for the first time since starting our conversation.

"And again, it's cool. Let's find you something to wear on your feet so that they don't get all cut to shit again," I told her. In the background, I could hear a depressed hiss and what sounded like a small girl audibly slumping her shoulders.

Disappointed Rebecca noises.

The flight back down to Canterlot was one of the moments that you want to be over, but at the same time, you're afraid of what would happen next. On the outside, I probably looked calm and collected, but on the inside, I was at war with myself. With every one of Sarah's soft hairs that touched me, a flash of that dream came back to me and sent me spiraling back into confusion.

She had blinded me in the dream.

She had turned back into an alicorn when I couldn't see her and...played with me.

Why did it matter to me, though? It was Sarah, and I know it was Sarah, regardless of what body she was in. I wanted to so badly to convince myself that it was okay, what she did. I loved her more than anything, and trusted her not to hurt me.

But maybe that was why it hurt...I trust her. But...I told her that I wasn't ready to get intimate with something other than a human, and she did it anyway, in a place that I couldn't possibly deny her. My mind flashed back to when she had forcefully changed my gender and locked me inside my head. I had gotten her back for it, in my own small way, but...the scar was still there.

She had hurt me.

Who was to say she wouldn't do it again?

NO! Sarah wouldn't do something like that on purpose. This whole situation is just fucked up beyond belief. Mistakes were going to be made when things got lost in translation, and I had to keep her past life in mind. She had lived for, what, thousands of years? She was used to getting her way and protecting what was hers, what with her being the ruler of a nation and all. And I don't remember hearing about any past relationships of hers.

Was...was I her first relationship?

A memory of her tiny human form staring at me flashed through my head. The first time we had met, she had been so small and innocent-looking. She acted crazy, sure, but at the time, I just listed it off as an adorable perk of hers. Now that everything made sense...

I'm just not good at this shit. I want to have the answers, but I don't. Whatever happens, I just want everything to work itself out and have everyone happy at the end. I just wanted to hide myself in Sarah's warm fur and disappear...

Sarah must have noticed my tightening grip around her neck and turned her head just enough to glance back at me. Her eyes were full of concern, and what looked to be exhaustion. I didn't blame her in the slightest. After all, I had been causing tons of shit to go wrong ever since I got here.

"Ryan? Are you okay?" she asked, her voice barely audible over the sound of the wind rushing by us as we descending. Canterlot was approaching, and fast. The closer we got, the more nervous I felt. I had built up the courage to face the city before, but that had all been washed away when I became a laser-beam and then figured out that I had received head from a pony...while in my head.

That tongue though~

I shivered away that thought, my face warming up. "Y-yeah, I'm good. Just...sore from the laser-puking is all..." I fibbed, trying to hide my face from her. Her flapping wings served as a decent barrier from her probing eyes. It didn't work for long. Somehow, I could see her narrowed eyes, even though she was staring straight ahead.

"You're a bad liar, mister," she scolded. I flinched and hugged her neck even tighter. I didn't want to talk about how good she had felt in that dream and how much I hated myself for enjoying it. A pony had done things to me with her mouth, even though it wasn't real. My only hope was that the entire dream was nothing but her mouth. I really didn't want our first time to be in a dream. Though...wasn't my actual first time fake? It was in Mom's head, as a part of her imagination.

Was I still a virgin?

"It's just...the dr-dream..." I barely managed to squeak out. My throat forced itself shut when I tried doing anything close to vocalizing my problem. Sarah's wings flapped a bit harder for a moment and she turned her head so that I couldn't see her face at all.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Ryan. I just...sorry..." she squeaked in return. God damn, that made me feel even worse. I'd rather keep her happy then dwell in my own problems. She probably only did it to make me more used to the current situation, anyway. Was it time to forget what I was upset about in order to make her happy?

My Burbank-sense was saying yes, despite how bad for my mental health I knew it probably was.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's just a bit weird, thinking about it...but, it did feel pretty good..." I mumbled the last part just loudly enough for her to hear. Instantly, her ears shot up and I felt a tremble run through her. Her head turned again so that I could see her eyes as she spoke.

"R-really...? It was nice?" she asked, the hopeful tones in her voice pulling straight at my heart. Fuck, if these ponies didn't know how to manipulate me...but my answer was already there. I gave her a confident smile that betrayed my inner turmoil and started massaging her neck gently.

"Mhmm. You've been hiding those tongue skills from me for waaaay too long, Bear," I teased, messing up the fur in the area I was massaging. For a second, her wings locked in place and we glided in a straight line instead of descending. It took me a few moments to remember that her wings sometimes acted as...dicks. I made her wings hard.

"HA!" I snorted, wrapping my arms around her neck and giggling wildly. Oh, I definitely had to start using that against her more often. Before I could continue my mirthful outburst, Sarah regained control of one of her wings and used it to smack me in the back of the head. Before we could start falling, she resumed flapping. I only caught a brief look at her face, but it was much more purple than I remembered.

"Oh, hey, when did Twilight get here?" I asked cheekily. Sarah tilted her head a little, unaware of what I was implying. She even looked around, expecting to see the Princess of Friendship flying along next to us or something. I gave her a few moments to mull it over to see if she would get it. She did not. So, being the super-amazing and totally-subtle boyfriend that I was, I gave her a hint. "You know, Princess Purple~" She got it. Before I could say anything else, her flowing astral mane expanded and wrapped itself around her face, making her eyes the only thing visible.

Oh my god. Too cute. Having...another...heart...

"HHHNNNNNG!" I groaned, clutching my heart dramatically and pretending to slump over, dead. Sarah almost started freaking out at my apparent lack of being alive, but I snipped her worries away with a comedic 'Bleh.' I received another wing to the back of the head for my efforts.

"Please don't do that. I'm having a hard time telling when you're joking, anymore," Sarah whined, her wings flapping more rapidly for some reason. Our descend was slowing, and I think her wings were trying to push us back up.

"Hence the 'Bleh,'" I informed her. Suddenly, I felt a jarring thump as we exited our flight. I knew we were back on the ground, now, but I didn't want to look. My mouth had recently been used as a cannon to fire off a very bright, very noticeable beam of light into the sky. I doubted any residents of the city were still indoors. I knew that if I had seen something like that out my window at home, I would go out to investigate.

A few moments of silence passed. I could almost feel the overwhelming amount of stares being directed straight at me.

"Ryan," Sarah pressed, nudging me with her wing, "Open your eyes. Look."

"Don't wanna. They're going to make me puke lasers again," I complained childishly. I knew that I was going to comply in a few moments, and I could tell that Sarah knew it, too.

"Ryan, this is why you came here in the first-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just being difficult," I interrupted, waving her argument away. In reality, I was just bullshitting to give myself some more time to gather my courage enough to-

"Ryan!" I heard a tiny voice squeak from down below us. Oh. Shit. I looked down, peeking out of Sarah's feathers at the little form that was brave enough to approach us. It was the filly that I had seen before, when we had first arrived, the one that had been handing out fliers for the party/funeral.

She was still in her little frilly filly dress, but I barely recognized her with her head up. Before, she had seemed so out of it and depressed. Now, her eyes gleamed up at me with joy and her little tail swished from side to side happily. She looked like she was contemplating trying to scale the lunar goddess I was perched on to get to me, but I knew that that wasn't all that safe. So, instead, I climbed down to her.

Before I knew what was going on, I had a squealing filly in my arms, cuddling the shit out of me. I couldn't help myself; I cuddled the shit out her right back. The next few minutes became a blur of snuggling, happy squeaks, and laughter. I had even laid down at one point so that the filly could perch on my chest as she played. It was like coming home to find a new puppy waiting for your love and attention. Except this puppy was wearing a dress. And she was a pony.

After the moment of happiness calmed down enough where we could see straight, I sat up and looked around. Ponies. Ponies goddamn everywhere. Again! This time, it looked like the majority of the population of Canterlot was standing around us, perfectly still and perfectly silent. The only noise case from the brash rainbow-maned pegasus calling down information to the moving pack of ponies trying to push their way through the crowd.

"They're over here!" Dash called out from her cloud car, pointing in the direction of Sarah, the filly and me. They had to wade through the colorful sea of motionless Canterlot ponies to get to use, but I eventually saw them approaching the front. Twilight and the rest of my friends stopped at the front of the crowd, seemingly unsure of what was going on. A shiver of stress shot through me as I noticed just how many sets of eyes were locked on me, waiting for me to...do anything, I guess. Maybe they couldn't believe their eyes, and were just waiting for someone else to make up their minds for them.

I didn't recognize all that many ponies in the crowd; it seemed that most of the ponies that had been in the party were either still unconscious or were at the back of the crowd, trying to move their way up. The nameless masses didn't have the same parting power as the group of national heroes that had decided to befriend me.

So, it seemed that most of the ponies staring at me were seeing me for the first time since they saw me die.

I had to be tactful about this; couldn't let another situation like the one from the party occur.

No pressure; I just had the majority of Canterlot staring at me like I had just descended from the heavens after firing a beam of light.

...

PANIC!

My mind raced and, for some reason, settled on my extensive memory of movies I had seen, especially those I had seen during my youth. Without having enough control to stop myself, I wrapped my hands around the giggling filly and stood up, lifting her with my hands under her front legs and raising her high above my head.

"IT'S THE CIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIFE!~" I sang, my mind a bleary haze of nerves and stupidity. The reaction from the crowd was instantaneous. Every mare, stallion, mallion and stare started cheering and making joyous 'whoop!' sounds as they reared onto their back legs. The filly above my head laughed so hard that I could see tears pouring down her face as she witnessed herself being proclaimed the new heir to...uh, the air above my head.

"AND IT MOOOOVES US ALLLLL!~" the crowd sang back at me, shocking me with their knowledge of my world's films. The crowd went quiet, apparently waiting for me to continue the song. Um...I didn't actually remember what came after that. What was I supposed to do? They were just...staring at me, their eyes wide with anti-

...

...

-pation. What was my Burbank-sense telling me to do?

"AHHHH PENNSYLVANIAAAAAA~ EGGS-BABBA!~" I sang instead, hoping against reason that they would go along with it. It didn't surprise me when they didn't. Instead, they just gaped up at me like I had just spat out a giant laser and flew down from the sky on an immortal winged unicorn with royal jewelry. Oh, well, it wasn't like anybody knew what the original song was saying anyway.

"You're silly, Ryan," I heard the filly say as she started squirming slightly in my grasp. Oh, I was still holding her up. The way I was holding her probably wasn't all that comfortable. Oops.

"Aaand down you go," I said softly as I knelt down, letting the filly hop to the ground, her dress crumpling slightly with her movements. To my surprise, she didn't go anywhere once I had let her go. She just stood there, grinning at me and barely containing her happiness. If I hadn't been through so much cute already, that might have killed me.

Death by cute. Been there, done that.

Sarah had been sitting back, watching me interact with the filly with a large smile on her face. I had noticed the smile fade into a look of confusion when I had started singing, but she quickly regained it when I fucked up the lyrics. My silliness would charm the hell out of these ponies yet.

A series of movements caught my attention. I turned my head just in time to see the rest of my friends join me-

Wait, something was wrong. Wasn't there usually another friend? And my eyes noticed a distant lack of pink burning my-

"RYAN!" Pinkie squealed happily as she flung herself onto me from behind.

"GAH!" I yelped as the pink ball of fluff and sugar crashed into me. Huh...I didn't fall down. Maybe I was getting more used to my magical body or something, because I barely even felt her weight hanging off of me. I just hoped that I didn't instinctively develop defense mechanisms like that. If I was going to be using magic all the time, I wanted to be able to control what happened.

I would never forgive myself if one of the ponies ever surprised me and my magic hurt them because of it.

"EEEEEEEE! You're okay! You're okay you're okay you're okay you're-!" Pinkie shouted into my fucking ear, making my brain rattle around. Luckily, I thought fast enough and shoved my hand over her mouth before she gave me tinnitus. Not so luckily, she responded by giving my hand a very long and deliberate lick. H-her tongue. It was warm...and wet...

Immediately, a blast of memories from the dream Sarah and I had shared came rushing forth. My face grew bright red and I very nearly tore my hand away from Pinkie. Fucking hell, was this going to be a thing, now?! I couldn't even come into contact with a pony's tongue without thinking about dirty shit?! Fuck...

Sarah noticed my reaction and offered nothing more than a guilty smile. Yeah, didn't help. Pinkie continued trying to talk my ear off as I was once again shoved headfirst into a war with myself. I wasn't attracted to ponies. Just their tongues. Ugh, that didn't make it sound any better. But if they could all do what Sarah had done...then what was I so worried about?

Losing respect for myself, that's what.

"Are you okay?" I heard a familiar voice say as I felt a hoof place itself upon my leg. Twilight was looking up at me with a concerned expression, her eyes switching between my blushing face and the pink pony hanging around my neck. I swallowed and nodded nervously, really not wanting to talk about it.

"Of course he's okay! Did he see that laser? He's...so...awesome!" Dash gushed from up on her cloud. I couldn't see her, but her car was spinning in circles for some reason. After a moment, her multicolored mane popped into view, along with the top half of her face. I could see that her eyes were slightly red...had she been crying? "Oh, and don't that again. Like...ever," she commanded.

"Do, uh...do what?" I asked, a nervous lump moving up my throat. Had I upset them? Fluttershy, who I hadn't taken note of yet, was the one to answer me. My heart nearly stopped as I saw the tear-streaked cheeks of the timid pegasus. Holy fuck, what had I done?

"Please...don't scare us like that..." Fluttershy asked quietly, sniffling every few seconds. The good mood I had from interacting with the filly melted away and I was once again dragged into that awful feeling I got whenever I made someone sad. My shoulders slumped so suddenly that Pinkie fell off and landed on her hooves, her eyes moving up to my face. She wasn't hurt, so I stopped paying attention.

"Sorry..." I mumbled, a cold feeling spreading throughout my body. Wow, I really couldn't stop making ponies sad, could I? I try to cheer them up, I end up making them think I died again. Was there anything I could do right? Maybe it would have been better if I had died in the hospital...

A tiny form chose that moment to wrap itself around my ankle, transfering its warmth into me. Strangely, the warmth from the body on my foot stopped the coldness that had been moving inside of me and beat it back. I felt warm again, and my thoughts evened out. What had I been thinking? The past few moments...it all just felt like a dark haze.

"It's okay, I'm sure you didn't mean to make them sad," the filly said from her footstool. Heh. Was she right? Yeah, she was absolutely right. I hated making ponies sad. So why did I keep doing it?

Maybe it had something to do with me making tons of bad decisions when under pressure.

"Excuse me, pardon me, no, I'm not made out of Candy, excuse me," I heard a slightly familiar voice say as it moved its way through the crowd, coming straight at me. The very tip of what I assumed was a crown tipped me off to who was coming my way. Sarah's shiver of apprehension only reinforced my assumption.

"Cadance?" Twilight asked, just then remembering that the pink princess had been with us only a little while ago. The slightly larger alicorn finally broke through the crowd and-

Pfft, nice look there, Candy. She was literally Princess Candy now, with tons of sweets stuck to her body and tangled in her mane. She look like someone had brought Candyland to life, but killed Plumpy before he could do any damage to the minds of the rest of the population.

Seriously, fuck Plumpy.

"H-hey, Twilight! And...RYAN!" she squealed, launching herself at me. I yipped and ducked down instinctively, forgetting that Sarah and I had landed pretty much on the edge of the city, overlooking the drop-off that came with being located on the side of a mountain. Everyone gasped in horror as Candy flew right over the edge, screaming my name the entire time. I acted as fast as I could, running to the edge and crouching down so that she could hear me.

"USE YOUR WINGS, YOU MORON!" I demanded. My heart was thumping in my chest, though it still felt weird to me. My magic heart was slightly different than my real heart. Candy went silent for a second as she fell, before clocking herself in the head with her hoof and shooting her wings out. Immediately, her descent slowed and she went into a glide. She remained gliding for a little while to regain control of her thoughts before flapping her way back up to the city.

The crowd that had gathered itself against the edge to watch let out a collective sigh of relief. Myself, I just sat there, marveling out how stupid ponies could be as soon as they saw me. Was I just a drug to them? A stupidfying, dumbass drug. Joy.

I took a few steps away from the ledge, back towards Sarah. Fluttershy had been the only one to stay back from the ledge, the swarming crowd frightening her into seclusion. She had taken her place next to Sarah, who still didn't seem to mind her presence. Hah, maybe I could tease Sarah later about having the hots for Flutters.

...Maybe not, she might dream-fuck me again as a pony. Or a cactus.

Candy landed rather gracefully on the edge, despite the mass amounts of sugar decorating her. She gave the crowd a grateful bow before her eyes shot back up to me...they were disturbingly hungry. Holy shit, was I supposed to run? Was I supposed to stand my ground? If I ran, would she pounce? I subconsciously pressed my back up against my girlfriend, looking to her for protection. What I got was a wing covering me, its warmth seeping into my body and calming me greatly. Candy blinked in confusion.

"Ryan? Why are you...with Princess Luna? I don't think she likes you all that much...did you see what she wrote about you in the sky?" she asked quickly, giving Pinkie's ramblings a run for their money. Oohhh, I didn't want to discuss this in front of the entire population of Canterlot. They still bustled angrily around Sarah, but seemed to have calmed down a bit after they saw her save me. I really didn't think they could handle the rest of the truth yet. Time to divert!

"Really? I'm alive, here in pony world, and that's the first thing you ask me?" I asked with a smirk. She took the bait like a good little pony princess, her eyes widening in realization. A gasp flew from not only her mouth, but the rest of the crowd, who seemed to finally realize that I was, indeed, real. What the hell had the last twenty minutes been for them?

Oh, yeah. The whole 'ponies act stupid around me' thing.

"Ah, YES! How?! How are you here, how are you real, how are you still alive, we all saw you die!" Candy exploded, taking a few excited steps towards me. Sarah's wings tightened over me like a big protective blanket of blue warmth. The pink alicorn noticed this, and was once again confused into silence.

"It's...a long story, Cadance. I think...maybe we should discuss it with, uhm...with less ears?" Twilight offered, placing a hoof upon her frazzled...uhm...wasn't quite sure what Candy was to Twi. Friend? Princess peer? Girlfriend? Family?

Candy blinked and looked around to the crowd that had been watching us intently. Some of the ponies had already started selling popcorn and other refreshments as they settled in for a show. How did they prepare so fast? A twinge of knowing hit the pink princess' face as she took in the sheer number of ponies that really didn't need to know any of what was being told...at least, not yet. Maybe when things settled down and we found a solution for everything, we could release all the info.

"R-right...yes...uhm...oh! The castle! Shiny and I are staying in the castle during our time here, we could go back there! And Ryan, you have to meet Shiny!" she gushed, pressing her hooves into her cheeks and squishing her lips together. Weird. That was something I would more expect Dash to do. But Dash was still just hovering around, having nabbed some of the popcorn that was being passed around.

"Who's Shiny? Pet cat?" I asked, thoroughly confused. That got a giggle out of both Candy and Sarah, along with the rest of the girls. Twilight just rolled her eyes and sighed, shaking her head slowly.

"No, you silly goose! Shining Armour is my husband and Twilight's brother! He's been taking care of some things back at the castle while I handled your...ehm, you know, the party," Candy explained. Oh, that explained a few things, then. I didn't know Twilight had an older brother. Or did I? Ugh, too many things for my poor mind to keep track of. Judging from Candy's reaction to me, and his relation to Twilight, this Shining dude was probably also a fan. Greeeat, more introductions.

"Sounds good," I said quickly, noting that the crowd of ponies was moving slowly closer to us. "How do we get there, though? There's a bit of an obstacle in the way." Candy and Twilight looked around at the Canterlot ponies, who seemed to be figuring out that they weren't going to be hearing any juicy details, and weren't too happy about it.

"Right. I'll just teleport us there. A little help, Twilight?" Candy asked, bumping her butt against Twilight's. Twi squeaked a little before nodding eagerly. Uhm...did she not remember the whole thing with me and outside magic not blending well? I tried to speak up, but a blinding flash of purple and pink took up my consciousness before I could object.

FLASH

Again, I was subjected to a swirling tunnel of colors and movement as my body stretched every which way. Now that I was more awake for the process, I could equate the experience with being launched out of a giant slingshot and traveling forward at the speed of light. This time, however, a bunch of other forms of color and life accompanied me. It only took me a few moments to realize that it was the girls, Sarah and Candy with us. Twilight, Candy and Sarah somehow kept themselves moving straight forward, the momentum not seeming to bother them. I tried to call out to Sarah for help, but I didn't seem to have a voice in the stream.

Luckily, she seemed to notice my panicked expression and quickly moved over to me, wrapping herself around me from behind and adjusting me so that I flew as straight as she was. Immediately, I calmed down. Now that I was no longer flailing around in a panic, I could take it just how pretty the teleportation stream was. The colors that were just a blur before were now vaguely recognizable objects that were flying by us faster than the eye was supposed to see. A house here, a storefront there, and so many ponies. I wanted to take more of it in, but Sarah's grip tightened around me as she prepared to exit the stream. I took the hint and braced for impact.

FLASH

Our entire group flew from the tunnel, seemingly just popping back into existence on the other side. Candy and Twilight landed gracefully, showing just how many times they had teleported in the past. Sarah was the only reason I didn't land on my ass like I had done back in Ponyville. The other girls had varying reactions to being shat out of thin air.

Pinkie landed and instantly started bouncing to relieve some of the momentum, giggling the whole time. Fluttershy managed to flap her wings a few times before she hit the ground, slowing herself and hitting the ground softly. And Rainbow Dash...was pinging from wall to wall, still inside her cloud car. Didn't she think to put brakes inside of that thing? I waited until she passed over my head before reaching up, my hands moving through the cloud until I felt Dash's warm body against my hands. I grasped her just hard enough to stop her, her traction on the cloud stopping it entirely.

"Well, here we are!" I heard Candy proclaim from behind me. Sarah finally let go of me, once I had let go of Rainbow Dash. She was still protective, even if she wasn't trying to be. I looked back and Candy, who was raising a candy-coated hoof upwards, like she was saying 'Ta-da!' My eyes widened as I took in the scenery around us.

So...this was what a castle was like...

Why would they purposely make a room with so much empty space inside? Too much space...

"Cadance, is that you?" I heard a male voice call out from a different room. Candy shuffled from side to side excitedly, giving me an eager grin. Again, her expression was chilling enough to make me retreat against Sarah for safety. Okay, so this dude was Twilight's brother and Candy's hus...band...oh. "So how did everything g-"

The girls all looked towards the form that had just entered the room we had landed in. There, standing in the doorway, was a large white unicorn with a mane that looked...chemically colored to match my hair color. Even the way his mane was parted and combed looked styled after me. The reason I could tell that wasn't his natural hair color was because I could see the blue roots coming in. So his mane was supposed to be blue...

That wasn't all. He was wearing a very Burbank-looking hoodie, with the same operator symbol on it that I had on my own hoodie. I was still wearing Rarity's new one, so the symbol was cut in half at that moment.

His butt mark was an operator symbol.

...

Yeah, I saw that correctly. I wouldn't have been looking at his ass normally, but the symbol looked...too bold to be natural. It was like he had just painted it on or something stupid like that. My eyes wandered up to his face, to meet his own horrified glare. The room went even more silent than it had been as we waited for his response. I expected him to geek out over meeting me, but that was the farthest thing from what I actually got.

"N-no...no...no no nonono NO!" he screamed, his pained wail sending a bolt of guilt through me. Had I already done something to upset him? What the fuck was it about me that made ponies just freak the hell out? Shining Armor lifted his front leg to cover his face, using the sleeved limb to stifle a sob.

Candy gasped and rushed over to her husband, who flinched away and backed up a few steps. "Shiny, what's wrong?!" she demanded with a lovingly concerned expression on her face. Shining just took a deep, trembling breath and glared at me.

"H-how...how am I supposed to compete with that?!" he yelled, retreating another few steps. Sarah once again covered me with a wing when Shining directed his hostility at me. I blinked at the raging unicorn and pushed myself back against my girlfriend even more. Twilight joined Candy in trying to calm the pony version of me down.

"Shining, it's okay!" Twilight tried to assure her brother, "I don't know what's wrong, but it's okay! He's nice!" Shining just choked down another sob before shaking his head, turning tail and darting back out of the door he had entered through. Candy and Twilight took off after him, calling his name until I could no longer hear them.

The room went silent for another few long, uncomfortable moments. Then Dash broke the hell out of that silence.

"Well that was bucking weird," she stated from up on her cloud. The other girls nodded in agreement, though Pinkie regained her smile fairly quickly and moved herself against my side. Fluttershy saw Pinkie doing that and took the opportunity to do the same. I then had three warm pony bodies pressed against me, with another one floating above me and keeping watch. The closeness and affection I felt from them melted the nervous pit that had been growing inside me.

Whatever the hell had just happened, I knew that it was just the beginning of all the fun things that the castle was going to have to offer me. What next, an orchestra composed entirely out of asparagus plants?

...

NO NO NO PLEASE DON'T, I WAS KIDDING!