“I’m really sorry,” Ki muttered as the small swarm of changelings descended into pummeling position, “I swear I was planning to clean up the mess.”
“HEY!” Swing shift surged against the changeling magic that held her tethered, “Stop hurting Train Wreck!”
“Oh I wouldn’t worry dear,” Discord whispered from behind her, “I made him virtually immune to blunt force trauma. You could hit him with a train and you’d probably do more damage to the train.”
“Wow,” the little changeling beamed with enthusiasm, not the least surprised by the appearance of the Lord of Chaos, “That was good thinking, he has a real problem with trains.”
“Switch shift has also noticed this about her friend,” the older changeling pointed out happily.
“Did you just call Ki Train Wreck?” Surprise looked confused.
“We didn’t know his name in the hospital, so I named him Train Wreck,” seeing the green mares confusion, Swing Shift flashed into the pristine, hole-free form of nurse Zilia, “Remember me? It was really nice of you to come see him. He knew we were there. When ever you came to see him his love tasted all bitter-sweet.”
“So that… thing is one of your’s?” Princess Fast change addressed discord directly.
“Well, you know how it is,” the draconequus shrugged, “I have a student now, you remember little Wild Heart, right? Well one day when she’s all grown up she’s going to ascend into a chaos alicorn. So I figured I should make a test run first. You know, like Celestia did with Cadence.”
“Okay look guys,” Ki glanced in annoyance at the changeling who continued to pummel him, uselessly beneath their hooves, “I’ll clean it up. I Was always planning to clean it up. This seems a bit extreme for missing the toilette.”
“You fed from a comatose patient in a healing pod?!?!” Sweet Shift was genuinely horrified by Swings casual confession.
“How else could we talk?” the little drone snapped in annoyance, “He was trapped in his own brain!”
“I don’t judge you little one,” Discord stroked the Fillies head softly, “I took a peek inside that mixed up noggin of his, and he knew you were there. If he could know you were listening, he would have smiled.”
The little changle smiled wide, showing off all her shark teeth, “It was the only way I could know him at all. I could tell him about me while he floated there, but all I ever knew about him was what I tasted. I killed everypony in the world to bring him back. I regret nothing.”
“Professional curiosity,” Discord casually examined the back of his paw, “How DID you pull that off?”
“Okay, seriously” Ki’s three heads looked around in annoyance at the drones assaulting him, “You guys are getting on my nerves here. I’m pretty sure I can breath fire with one face and shoot lasers out the other, but I refuse to acknowledge the extra heads. It’s just too silly”
“I stole a card from the Blind Goat,” Swing beamed with pride.
The filly drew the card from her pocket. It portrayed a stylish brown stallion with a look of perplection, wearing a tie cautiously navigating a labyrinth of timepieces towards one of two ends, one a wall-eyed but comely grey pegasus mare, the other a slightly younger rose colored earth-pony.
“The Warden of Souls,” the goat stepped forward, “It represents a conundrum, an impossible choice… and in the end a decision not to decide. I need that back, if you don’t mind.”
-=-=-=-=-
The card pulled me outside of time. I don’t know how long I floated there before the words told me I didn't’ belong. I didn’t care. Eventually the words asked what I wanted. I wanted Train Wreck back. They asked what I would pay, and I still didn’t care.
I wasn’t part of time anymore. I was a part of his life. I was his co-worker and roommate Z-978. We were best friends. We laughed, we joked, we teased… and then on hearth's warming I told him how I felt. And it broke the whole world.
So I found him again, But he didn’t know me, and I didn’t know him. And we kept passing each other and it just hurt so much that I fell out of the world. And then I found his worst self. The him he doesn’t even name. The one who calls himself Nopony. And Nopony hid me away, he told me to stay in the closet in the basement because nopony wanted to see an evil little bug like me. So I did, because I knew he was right. And I hated him for that.
It might have been weeks, or years, he would sometimes throw me ponies to play with and I would have fun. I Would take away those dirty little ponies’ secrets and lies. And then one day he threw me Train Wreck. That day I knew that time had run out. And I lied to him. I hurt him, beat him, and cut him to make sure it wasn’t a trick. But I still lied to his face. I let him think it was real.
I tested him on every level I could imagine. And then in one stupid moment I couldn’t control, the train lead to where we always knew it was going. And he laughed. And I watched his sad laughter as he held my own corpse. And I stayed in that moment for a long time, until a lazy unicorn who couldn’t just look for her friend broke time, and I remembered the Blind Goat’s promise.
So while the stupid unicorn, and the stupid princess were fighting, I killed laughter. It was easy really. She was a stupid little pink filly with a stupid, straight little mane and tail. And then the tree just died too, because laughter was dead.
Without the tree there was no more friendship. By the time Nightmare Moon arrived the Solar inquisition was in in full swing. They killed each other quickly enough. Discord really did his best at putting the world back together, but bringing back order was never his thing. Sombra played a beautiful melody as the crystal empire burned beneath an eternal sun and moon. Tyrek just left.
And then, when I reached the end, there he was. I didn’t even recognize him, and he didn’t know me at all, but there he was. He had come back from death, the death of everything. And in the shadow of the valley of death, he brought me back my sister.
-=-=-=-=-
”Switch shift is so sorry! She should have never told you to come!”
“We all knew,” Split shift bowed her head, “We just thought it would be okay because we thought we would win.”
“I just wanted you to see how awesome we were. We were really gonna show those ponies,” Split Shift hid her face behind one wing.
“What happened to the other eight?” Swing Shift shuffled uncomfortably.
“They chose not to leave,” Sweet smiled sadly, “We all had our own reasons to leave or stay. I had to know what happened to our brothers and sisters. We always assumed they had took the blast wrong. But here you are…”
“They stood by the Queen, moron that she was,” Split provided, “They were loyal, and I respect that.”
“So us and switch are all that’s left of the Baker’s Dozen?” The little changeling reflected saddly.
“Before we found you, and you found switch, there were only two,” tears filled Sweet Shifts eyes.
“Okay, Are you done yet?” a brightly glowing three headed pony slammed the last conscious guard into the wall with his left tongue.