The weather was perfect, with not a single cloud in the sky in the beautiful land of Canterlot. The streets were lined with the most sophisticated and glamorous colts and mares any pony would dream to be. But as high and mighty Canterlot is, there are still those who don’t meet with their standards, who somehow manage to gallop through the city without being seen. Such as a white coated colt and his blue scaled dragon friend, chowing down at one of the classiest restaurants you’d ever see. Their sloppy way of eating got the attention of everypony there, each giving them the stink eye.
“Waiter! More bread sticks!” screamed the colt, wiping off tomato sauce from his mouth with his hoof, splatting a mare’s dress with a huge stain.
“AGH! You creep! This dress costs more than anything you could possibly own!”
“Sorry sister, but in my defense, I did you a favor.”
Both rude boys let out a huge chuckle, angering the mare to the point of leaving the restaurant in a huff. The blue dragon accidently lets out a light green blaze of fire in a belch, setting a nearby colt’s wig on fire, causing him to release a scream so high in pitch that all the cider glasses around them shattered to pieces, making the two laugh even louder, disappointing a huge stallion in a tux, face more red than lava.
“THAT’S IT! BOTH OF YOU! OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!”
“Hey hey hey….chill out will ya? My friend here can’t hold his fire. It’s a medical condition.”
“Yeah….cut me some……. (gulp) slack.”
“I DON’T CARE! YOUR SLOPPY DOMINEER HAS CLEARED OUT ALMOST EVERY CUSTOMER! I WANT YOU OUT NOW!”
He slams a check down on the table, refusing to leave until it is paid. The colt stares at the amount, scratching his light brown mane as he double checks the prices of each meal.
“Hmmmmmm……..quick question? Why did you charge us this much for hay?”
“ARE YOU SERIOUS!?! I SAW YOU SCOOP SOME OF THE OTHERS FOOD WITH YOUR TONGUE!”
“Heehee…..yep. That’s quite a talent, am I right Bunker?”
“Yeah Blast….heeeheeheee..you should be in show business…..oh….oh no…not again.”
Bunker’s stomach began to moan, hurling a huge fireball into one of the occupied booths, burning the clothes off the two mares sitting there to a crisp. Covering their exposed forms, they gallop out screaming at the top of their lungs, forming a light red blush on Blast’s face.”
“It’s all good, Bunker. Nothing wrong with what you just did…heehee.”
The stallion was getting annoyed, slamming his hooves on the ground angrily to regain their attention.
“UHHHHH HELLO!?! ARE YOU GONNA PAY OR NOT!?!”
Blast nibbles on another bread stick, looking at the angry stallion with a cocky grin.
“It’s all good…..we’re terribly sorry….hey….if it isn’t too much of a trouble, mind if we a to go bag for this?”
The stallion stares into Blast’s eyes with a twitching stern gaze, but calms down with a few deep breaths.
“Alright……I’ll be back in a few minutes….don’t even think about leaving just yet!”
“Wouldn’t even think about it, right Bunker?”
“Yeah, we’re cool. We’re cool.”
As the angry stallion marches off in a huff to the kitchen, Blast looked around to make sure the coast was clear. No pony was in sight of the quiet restaurant.
“Ok, that’s all for me. Let’s get going before that stal blows a fuse. We gotta get to the meeting at the Hill Grain.”
“Lead the way, boss.”
The white coated colt brushes bread crumbs off his dark blue vest and makes his way for the exit, with Bunker tip toeing behind him.
“What’s a matter with you? Ever heard of playing it casual?”
“What? This ain’t casual?”
“Of course it isn’t, and keep your voice down. Just walk with me, Bunker.”
They were slowly opening the glass door out when a familiar roar got their attention.
“AHA! I KNEW YOU’D TRY AND LEAVE!”
“Uhhhhh run with me, Bunker!”
Both dash out the door as fast as they can, as the stallion attempts to catch them.
“TWO THOUSAND BITS! THOSE SCUM BAGS OWE ME TWO THOUSAND BITS!!!!”
A nearby royal guard gets the stallion’s attention, charging after the two free loaders when the angry stallion plops on his own face, out of breath.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get em! Hey! You two stop right there!”
“Oh no, not the royals!”
“I don’t need Celestia sending me to the moon all because of a simple chow down! Head down that alley, Bunker!”
The two cut down the alley way, only to be blocked by a dead end. The colt lets out a huge sigh, turning around to see three more royal guards staring at him in anger.
“Halt right there.”
“Heeeeeeey……how’s it going boys? Still keeping our princess safe? Classy lady that Celestia….heeehee…if I wasn’t such a busy pony, I’d give her a call.”
“You won’t be calling anyone after your flank is thrown in Canterlot prison, Blast Bolt!”
“Uhhhhh…..come again?”
“You’re Blast Bolt…..charged with several crimes of smuggling illegal crystals, changling blood, savage animals, and I’m not even gonna begin with the harassment cases!”
“You really made a huuuuuge mistake. You see, my name isn’t Blast, I’m…..Flash Sentry….yeah.”
“Wait….you’re Flash Sentry?”
“Yep…..just came in all the way from Manehatten just a few days ago.”
“Then who’s the dragon?”
“Who? Him? He’s a friend of my cousin, names Vincent Tong……he’s touring me.”
He hits Bunker in the stomach, signaling him to play along with the little charade.
“Uhhh..Yeah….I’m a fast runner…this silly pony here just can’t keep up.”
“Yeah…heeheehee….I really need to hit the gym more oftern.”
The head royal guard slaps his own hoof again his helmet, shaking his head in disgrace before the two. He then moves closer to Blast, becoming very displeased.
“Wha…whats wrong?”
“YOU are not Flash Sentry.”
“Oh yeah? What makes you so smart?”
“BECAUSE I’M FLASH SENTRY, YOU STUPID SMUGGLER!”
Both Blast and Bunker look at each other in shock, moving back until they hit the wall.
“Oh really? Well….fancy that.”
“Yeah yeah, quit while you still can, Blast. You and your dragon friend there are under arrest for the countless crimes around Canterlot.”
“Boys…come on…be reasonable…you know I used to look up to you guys when I was a filly. Could’ve sworn my cutie mark was gonna be a royal helmet.”
“But it wasn’t. I clearly see a red blast mark on your flank. You can’t flatter your way outta this one.”
“Well you can’t blame me for trying. Bunker! NOW!”
The blue dragon smiles, inhaling with all his might before releasing a huge smokescreen around the alley.
“AHHH! WHAT THE HAY!?!”
“FLASH! I CAN’T SEE!”
Blast and Bunker use this opportunity to escape, jumping into the first travel carriage they could find.
“I don’t care where you’re going! Just get us outta here!”
“Uhhhh….ok.”
As they leave the scene, Flash finally finds his way out of the smoke, coughing while trying to stay conscious.
“Where’d they….oh you’ve gotta be kidding me!”
“Captain ain’t gonna be happy about this.”
“NOSE GOES!”
“Wait I wasn’t……dang it!”
Each guard sighed in relief, glad that Flash has to tell the captain that one of the biggest criminals in Canterlot made another escape. Meanwhile, after hiding in the carriage for nearly twenty minutes, Blast and Bunker managed to turn their luck around, rerouting to Hill Grain, one of the oldest bars in Canterlot, also the head site for meetings with associates of criminal activity.
“We made it……wooo….for a minute there, I thought we were toast.”
“That’ll be three hundred and fifty bits Mr….ehhhh…..who did you say you were again?”
“Oh me? Ehh…I’m Neon Lights and this is my partner Bill. We’re singers.”
“Oh yeah…….I think I’ve heard of you……well I wish you a lot of luck tonight.”
“Yeah its no problem…..this gig at the Grain will be easy..uhhh…Bill, pay the pony while I check in.”
Blast made his way inside the old bar, as Bunker tries to use some armor pieces they stole from the guards in the smoke as pay. Looking around, Blast was relieved to see that there was no sign of anypony they knew there. Violence was something Blast really needed to avoid. He walks up to the bar and asks for a cup of hard cider, looking over to see a shady looking figure sitting in the corner of the Grain. Knowing from experience, Blast could tell that it was the pony he was suppose to meet. Once receiving his cider, he slowly made his way to the booth in the corner, as Bunker walked in.
“What took ya?”
“Hey, you try to convince these Canterlot ponies to accept stolen guard armor as pay!”
“Ok, ok..shhh…keep your voice down, will ya?”
“Alright, alright…I’m sorry….its just that run from those royalty goons made me hungry again, and you know that makes me grumpy.”
“Look, lets just talk to this guy then we’ll hit a hayburger. We all know its better food than that fancy crud.”
Both sat down, staring at the figure, who had his face covered by a ball cap, sipping juice from a small cup.
“So….you guys Blast and Bunker.”
“Depends, you the guy who sent the letter?”
“That also depends, what’s the pass phrase?”
Bunker sighs, plopping his face on the table.
“Do we really gotta do this every time we get a job?”
“Just shut up for a minute, Bunker. The pass phrase is…….Zapple Drive.”
The pony raises his cap and looks around to notice if anypony is snooping, before pulling out a small bag.
“I got a mare in ponyville who’s interested in some ancient forbidden elixirs made from the powders in this bag. Ever since the commotion with that bug, Chrysalis, security to get in and out of Canterlot has nearly quadrupled. I need you two to deliver it to her without any eye from the guard. Even Celestia isn’t cool with powder like this.”
Blast stares at the bag, curious to what’s inside.
“Sooooo….what kind of powders are exactly in the bag?”
“Hey hey hey! I thought you guys don’t ask questions!?!”
“Just wondering……just this sounds like a big deal.”
“Let’s just say it is. That’s all I’m saying. So can you two do this or not?”
“You can count on us. We’ve done transfers all over Equestria. Canterlot would praise us if we exist.”
“Wait what?”
“What the pony means is that if we existed, a lot of royal guards would be on our tails. But we don’t…get it? Wink wink?”
Blast sighs, bopping Bunker on the head.”
“Ow! It’s not ok to hit!”
“Just wink. Don’t say wink, I thought we talked about this?”
Bunker rolls his eyes, taking out a small crystal to nibble on from his coat pocket.
“Alllllright? Well….just get this to her, stat! Her name is…ehhh…..Vinyl something…..but she goes by DJ-Pon3. Quiet type, blue mane, wears purple shades all the time.”
“Hmmmm….sounds like my kind of gal.”
Bunker bops Blast this time, shaking his head in neglect.
“Ow…what? She sounds hot!”
“Just get this to her. Please, we’re wasting time!”
“Cool it kid, we still have bigger issues to discuss. Just how much are you willing to pay?”
“Well…..I don’t have much…..how’s about…..a thousand bits?”
Blast looks at the shady pony confused, then looks back at Bunker, who also had the same look.
“A thousand bits? I’m not risking my life against the guard for a measly thousand bits. Come on Bunker.”
They were about to leave the booth, before the pony slams his front two hoofs on the table, shaking nervously.
“WAIT WAIT WAIT! Ok fine, it won’t be easy, but I can get you five thousand bits to do the job, then five thousand when you come back in about…..I don’t know…three days here, in this same booth.”
Blast paused, sitting back down with Bunker, smirking to himself.
“Well well…..holding out on us, mister mysterious.”
“Look I have some bits coming in from another job…I was gonna use it to fix my broken wing but……I really need this delivered.”
“Flyer huh? Weather control?”
“Used to…but….that’s not important. Just get this to her please!”
The two smugglers remained quiet for a few minutes, before shaking the Pegasus’ hoof.
“You got a deal.”
“Oh thank you! You won’t regret this! I’ll have those bits ready in no….”
“JUST….hold up. You said those bits were coming up……”
“Sighs……here…..I…uhhh…wanted to bargain.”
He takes out a bag containing five thousand bits, frowning as Bunker began counting every las one.
“It’s all here, Blast.”
“Great, let’s head out, oh and one more thing, kid.”
“Uhhh yeah?”
“I can tell you’re new at this so I’ll give you some advice. Don’t bargain with smugglers, cause most of them ain’t nice colts like me and my dragon friend here.”
“O…Ok?”
Bunker grabs both bags, the bits and the powder, and prepare to leave, before stopping in their place at the group of colts entering the bar.
“Hi, have you seen these two?”
It was Flash and three other royal guards, each holding a flyer with a crude drawing of Blast and Bunker.
“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me!?!”
“I hate those drawings. They always make me look like a gator.”
“Just move to the back, we’ll sneak out there.”
The two make their way behind the bar, heading for the kitchen before one of the guards notice a scaly blue tail sliding away.
“THERE! THERE THEY ARE!”
“Oh crud….you and that stupid tail of yours!”
With that, the two run for the exit, making yet another run from the royal guards.
TO BE CONTINUED....