//------------------------------// // Bonus: Harem?! // Story: Where did you come from? // by Jeweled Pen //------------------------------// Val grinned wide as he trotted towards the tree house off in the distance. He couldn't wait to tell the others, they'd be so super excited! Sure, he wasn't quite certain what all of it really meant, but he figured he had the general gist of it. Probably. Close enough. Flash was an adult, he probably understood all those things. He pushed open the door, opened his mouth, widened his eyes and shrieked before the white blur hit him, knocking him on his back and proceeded to start licking his face. “BLEEP IT CLAW! GET OFF ME!” “Hiyas!” the dragon pony said happily, before nibbling his nose. “Guess what, guess what!” “GET OFF ME!” Claw hopped off with a little giggle. Val jumped to his hooves and wiped the slobber off, grumbling darkly. The tree house was quite crowded today. Silverbelle, Silver Spoon, Diamond, Sweetie, Applebloom, Scootaloo and Button were all in there. A large television had been set up and they were playing those games again. He honestly thought the games were kinda cool, but not nearly as awesome as the television's ability to scry from all over the world. “So, what am I supposed to be guessing?” “Mom said I could have a big slumber party with all of my friends!” “Oh,” he said as he walked over. “... What's a slumber party?” Everypony froze and stared at him, their eyes widening. “Yah can't be serious... can yah?” Applebloom asked, staring at him. “Err...” he said, shuffling nervously. “Of... of course... I know. I was just... playing around. It's... a... ummmmm...” He struggled to think of the right words. “Special... party to... errr... have... friends... over and... slay... things?” he asked nervously. He wished he knew what slumber meant, but he was sure it had something to do with slaying. He let out a yelp when Claw jumped him again, hugging him and licking his face. “OFF OFF OFF!” “Going to be the bestest slumber party ever!” the pony said happily. “It's a sleep over,” Diamond said with a roll of her eyes. “Basically everypony comes over. Though, I think it should be moved to my place. The Carousel isn't nearly big enough for all of us.” “We could probably do it at the castle,” Applebloom said with a shrug. “It's a friendship thing, right? Ah'm sure Twilight'd be more than happy tah share. But the Carousel will probably be fine. The main area's got tons of space.” “Claw, a little backup!” Button yelled as he wildly tapped the controls. The dragon pony yelped and jumped off Val, diving back to his controller and clicking away at the buttons. Val wiped his face off and grumbled. “Ugh. Why would I want to go to something like that?” “Because if you don't, Claw will probably hop on you and lick your face until you agree to,” Scootaloo said with a chuckle. “It's how he got Diamond tah agree,” Applebloom said before motioning to the pink filly. Her mane did look a tad ruffled. Val stared for a moment, before sighing. “Fine. Whatever. I'll come,” he grumbled. ------ Rarity felt another shiver go down her spine. Was there a draft? She'd need to talk to somepony about checking out the insulation. ------ “But that's besides the point,” Val said with a smirk, before pointing at the five fillies. “I have good news for all of you!” He puffed out his chest. “You're all part of my harem now!” For a few moments there was silence. Silverbelle shrieked and darted out of the treehouse, her face bright red. The others just stared at him. “What the hay is a harem?” Applebloom asked, before looking to the door. “An' why it go an' spook Silverbelle like that?” He shrugged. “I don't know. And a harem is awesome! It's like... a royalty thing,” Val said with a frown. “And like... ummmm... the princesses have one.” “In that case, wouldn't Claw be the one most likely to have a harem?” Diamond asked as she continued trying to fix her mane. “I mean, he's... almost royalty? His dad's... kinda... like a son to the princess?” “W-what? No! I'm the one with a harem and-- eep!” He managed to cover his face in time as Claw tackled him again, nuzzling. “Yes! You can all be my harem!” Claw said with a nod, resting his head on Val's. “No! I'm the one having a harem!” Val shrieked. “Not you, me! And you can't be a part of it! Only the girls!” “Well, that's not very nice,” Sweetie said, scolding him. “You can't just exclude Button and Claw like that out of your little club.” “B-but--” “No buts,” Sweetie said firmly, stomping a hoof down. “If you want any of us to join, it's only fair if we all join. Besides, Claw really likes you, it'll be mean to ignore him.” “Fine! FINE!” Val shrieked. “You can all be part of my harem! Just get him off me!” “Claw, I need some covering fire! The parasprites are eating all the cupcakes!” Button yelled. “Eep, sorry!” Claw yelped before jumping back, grabbing the controller and going back to it. Val groaned, slowly getting to his hooves. “So, what exactly is a harem?” Scootaloo asked again. “Some kind of... princess... club thing?” “Well, the weird pegasus guard said it's like a herd here.” Every eye turned to him aside from the two playing games. They stared at him, speechless, before Applebloom yelped. “Yah want us tah be in a HERD with yah?!” Val blinked. His instincts told him to flee. But his pride told him to stay. He gave a swift nod. “Indeed. I will have the greatest harem, filled with all the best! When I rule this country...” He paused. Actually, now that he thought about it, the princesses seemed really nice. He didn't want to just take their country from them. Not that he couldn't if he wanted to. He was totally sure he could. “When I rule this town, I will need the greatest harem of all time.” Applebloom shook her head, her cheeks bright red. “Ah don't even... ah can't even... ah don't even... ah jus'...” She kept shaking her head as she walked out from the tree house. Diamond just gaped. She took a deep breath. “There... are no words, Val. None.” She got to her hooves and walked to Claw, whispering into his ear. “Okay!” Claw said before turning and jumping onto Val. He yelped when the colt leaned down and kissed him flat on the lips. The fillies stared, mouth agape, before turning to Diamond. “What? I said there were no words. There were plenty of actions,” Diamond said with an innocent smile. “MFFFFFFFFFFF!” Val raged as he flailed his hooves around wildly. ------ Chad groaned as the train began to skid to a stop. He blearily opened his eyes. Were they there already? He must have slept longer than he thought. He started to stand up and look out the window. There was only desert there. Sand as far as the eye could see. No towns or anything. Why in the hay had they stopped? “Listen up, little ponies!” a voice rang out from down at the end of the car. Two diamond dogs in black hats and wearing little red half masks, stood there. In their hands they clasped big clubs. “This is a stick up! Give us all your jewels and nopony gets hurt!” Chad stared for a few moments, before lowering his sombrero over his eyes. He took a deep breath. It wasn't long before he felt a tap on the sombrero. “Little pony turn over jewels!” the dog growled. Chad looked up, and flashed his mustache at the dog. He then reached out, grabbed the dog's hand and flipped him over his shoulder. “No, señor. I'm afraid I cannot.” His back hoof stomped down on the dog's chest before he turned to the other dog. The dog charged him, but he easily stepped back out of the club's reach, before charging in and under it, head butting and flipping the dog over his back. ------ “Ew ew ew ew ewwwww,” Val whined as he washed his mouth out as best he could, splashing the water from the bucket over his face. “You kind of had it coming,” Diamond said with a shake of her head. “You can't just... ask ponies that!” Scootaloo said, her face bright red. Val groaned as he looked back up to them. He cocked his head to the side. “Why not?” The pegasus blushed even darker. “Just... just because!” “But I want a harem!” he whined, kicking the ground a little. “Not fair! I want one I want one I want one!” Diamond groaned. “Val, don't--” “Pleeeeease?” he asked, giving them the wide colt eyes. They responded with many face hooves. “I'll join!” Claw said. “See? He'll be in it! Why won't the rest of you?” Scootaloo opened her mouth to object, before closing it. She then opened it again, closed it. She face hoofed one more time, before looking to Diamond and giving her a pleading look. The filly sighed. “Val... do... you know what a herd is?” “Yeah, it's a bunch of ponies led by the most awesomest pony of all!” he said proudly, puffing his chest out. “And a big party, too!” The filly gave another sigh. “Fine, whatever, we'll join.” “WHAT?!” Sweetie, Silver Spoon and Scootaloo said in unison. Diamond gave them a wink. “However, there are conditions,” she said quickly. “Conditions?” Val asked suspiciously. “That's not fair. I'm letting you be part of my harem! You should be thankful!” “Well, if you're going to be like that...” Diamond said dismissively and started to turn away. “Wait! Wait wait! What are the conditions?” Val asked. The filly smiled wickedly. “Wellllll. We should probably start simple. Can you go get your harem ponies some fresh apple juice from the house? Pleeeeeease?” He blinked. “I... guess? I'll be right back!” He ran off, leaving them behind. “Diamond, you can't just have us be... we aren't going... a herd!” Sweetie shrieked, her face bright red. “Oh, relax. He has no idea what a herd even is,” Diamond said with a roll of her eyes. “I do!” Claw said happily. “Aaaaanyway, we'll just mess with him a bit, make a bunch of demands. He'll get bored of it soon enough and not want to play this game anymore. Easy peesy,” she said with a shrug. “And then we won't have to explain to him what a herd IS. Unless you're volunteering to tell him?” “No! But... that doesn't sound very nice,” Sweetie grumbled. “It's that or listen to him whine and complain and mope,” Diamond said flatly. “... Harem it is,” Scootaloo said with a sigh and another face hoof. “Now, who's going to tell Applebloom and Silverbelle?” Sweetie asked. “Not it!” “Not it!” Silver Spoon and Diamond said quickly, Scootaloo a moment later. “Not it!” Claw added. Every eye fell on Button, who was busy playing his game, tapping away happily on the controls. ------ Cheerilee hummed softly as she sipped her tea, the television on and the news playing softly. Val had finally gotten tucked in to bed and was now sleeping soundly. All in all, today had been a good day. Well, as good as could be expected after that initial morning. But still, everything seemed to be going quite nicely now. She couldn't imagine-- A frantic pounding on the door made her glance up. Who in the hay would be coming here this late? She gave a soft sigh and got to her hooves, trotting to the door as the pounding continued. “I'm coming, I'm coming,” she said with annoyance. She pulled open the door. Rarity, Spike, Big Mac, Applejack... the list of ponies outside the door just seemed to go on and on. There was only one reason so many ponies would make their way to her home of all places at such an hour. And, unfortunately, he was sleeping in the other room. “What'd Val do?” “Harem!” the crowd recited back at her. She lightly thumped her head on the door. “Right, of course. Come on in, let's... have a chat. I just made some tea.” She turned and trotted back inside. Somedays she wondered if she had been crazy. She'd accepted him into her life. Chosen to adopt Val. Why, why had she done this to herself? Was her life really not hectic enough as it was? It was like adopting the first born of Discord! That just made her shudder again.