“Holy new personas!” Spike cried. “You guys are the Power Ponies!”
“The what now?” Applejack demanded as everypony examined their new outfits.
“You’ve become the heroes from my comic,” explained Spike. “Applejack, you’ve become Mistress Mare-velous; you can control your lasso with just the power of your mind. Twilight, you’re the Masked Matter-Horn; you have the ability to shoot all kinds of crazy power beams out of your horn. Rainbow Dash, you’re Zapp, and you have the power to control the weather. Rarity, you’re Radiance; you can use your gems to create any object you want out of pure light. Pinkie Pie, you Fili-second, the fastest mare alive. And Fluttershy, you’re Saddle Rager; when you lose your temper, you transform into a super-strong, unstoppable monster.”
“Oh my, that doesn’t sound very polite,” Fluttershy whimpered.
“So who am I?” asked Sunset Shimmer. She wore golden, samurai-esque armor and a helmet with a spike shaped like a flame aligned with her horn.
“Oh my Faust! Sunset, you’re the Flaming Sa-mare-i!” cried Spike, now approaching complete geek-out meltdown. “You’re not actually a member of the Power Ponies, more like special back-up member who's always there when they need you, but otherwise you just go around doing your own thing. You have the power to channel all of the heat and fire of the sun itself through your horn!”
“So basically I’m Celestia now,” mused Sunset. “Cool.”
“So how do we get out of here?” demanded Rainbow Dash.
As if on cue, the side of a building blew out, and a mare with a ridiculously long emerald-green mane that she used like tentacles emerged from the hole.
“Time for the mane event!” she jeered before cackling madly.
“That’s the Mane-iac, the Power Ponies’ arch-nemesis!” cried Spike. “Guys, I think you have to defeat her in order to return home!”
The Power Ponies did their best-which turned out to be a complete joke. Applejack’s attempt to use her lasso the traditional way somehow ended up getting her tied up against a streetlamp. Pinkie Pie ended up on the other side of the city just from dodging a mailbox the Mane-iac threw at her. Twilight’s attempt at a freeze ray only produced a few snowflakes. Rainbow Dash tried to summon lightning but instead created a tornado that sucked everyone up and then spat them out. Rarity failed to produce anything other than a tea-set, and it was clear that Fluttershy couldn’t even use her powers.
All the while, the Mane-iac watched while laughing that Faust-awful laugh of hers.
“Well, you girls certainly mane-aged to put on a show! Mwahahahaha! That was truly a hair-raising performance! Mwahahahaha! Clearly, you’re in need of new mane-agement! Mwahahahaha! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go carry out my mane-iacal plan to rule Mare-tropolis! Mwahaha-”
FWOOOOSH!
Mane-iac’s rant was cut off by a torrent of white-hot flames. When they cleared, all that remained was a charred pony skeleton, its mane completely obliterated.
Shocked, Spike just stared at Mane-iac’s remains before turning to face Sunset. “You just…but you’re not supposed to…it doesn’t work like…” he stammered.
“I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t take one more Faust-damned mane pun!” Sunset growled.