//------------------------------// // Lust of the Lost Pt. 2 // Story: Crystal Affair // by FamousLastWords //------------------------------// Cadance sat back in the living area loveseat, hooves crossed and face scrunched. “Twilight, my weekend has been chaotic enough without him interfering.” “Yeah, no offense, but I’m not in the mood for a lesson on undeserved reformation right now,” Spike said, shaking his head. Twilight scoffed. “I understand that you two have reservations about him, but the bottom line is he’s the only one with the knowledge to help us.” She punctuated her statement by slamming a book onto the table in front of them. “Can you name anyone else in this book that was alive that long ago and that we know?” Spike scratched his chin. “Well, Luna always seems to show up in situations like this? Can’t we just bring her in and call it a day?” “Spike, I very much doubt that Luna would want us to pester her with our daily problems. She’s not just some deus ex machina, you know.” Twilight facehoofed. “True enough,” Cadance replied. “And I guess we need all the help we can get at this point. So, other than waiting for him to randomly intrude on us, how do we get him here?” Twilight sighed, quite obviously not looking forward to what they would have to do. “After that whole Starlight Glimmer debacle, I told Discord that it would be better if we could simply summon him when we needed him.” As she spoke, she trotted into her kitchen, and she returned with a quill and parchment floating right in front of her. “The… summoning ritual, if you can even call it that, involves writing out a very stupid phrase.” “Somehow, that does not surprise me,” Cadance said, slapping her face with her hoof. “Why can’t anything just be normal right now?” “No joke, right?” Spike said. “Is this how love is in the real world? Because sadly, I wouldn’t know…” “Regardless, it’s time to start the ritual,” Twilight groaned, not looking forward to what she had to write at all. With her quill suspended by her magic, she began writing out exactly what Discord had requested those few months ago. Once she was finished, the two leaned forward to get a better look. “And… done!” Spike and Cadance took a look at the undoubtedly mystical words Twilight wrote out before them. Together, they read the powerful phrase aloud: “Discord Is Best Princess. Sunbutt can’t even lift.” The two gave each other a quizzical look. “What the—” A flash cut the two off, and the Lord of Chaos appeared directly behind Twilight. He had on a shower cap and was scrubbing his back with a long brush while humming an obviously off-key melody. “Huh?” He paused, looking around. When he spotted the three staring at him with disgusted looks on their faces, he chuckled. “Oh, of course. So, did you enjoy calling your dear princess ‘Sunbutt’, Twilight?” Twilight ignored him, waiting for him to make himself decent. Cadance had no such patience however. “Cut the crap, you inbred freak,” she said, smacking him across the face. “I’ve had the most trying weekend anypony has ever gone through, and I refuse to play your dumb games. Now shut up and listen for a darn second. Understood?” Discord rubbed the spot her hoof had hit, but maintained his ever-chipper look. With a snap of his talons, his shower cap was gone, and he was positioned in the spot she’d just leapt up from. “Oh, the most trying weekend anypony has ever gone through? Do spare me the details, princess of looove,” he said, drawing out her title mockingly. “Until you’ve been frozen in stone for over a thousand years, you don’t know the definition of trying.” “Enough, both of you,” Twilight frowned. “I realize that this is a trying time—” “There’s that word again,” Discord interrupted her. “I don’t think you understand just how hastag triggered I feel right now.” “How about I pull the trigger on my magic energy and blow your tail off, huh? You think that would be trying enough for you?” Flames radiated behind Cadance’s eyes. “ANYWAYS!” Twilight shouted, grabbing their attention again, “Cadance and Spike have a situation that they’d like for you to—” Discord raised his paw, and Twilight’s mouth literally zipped shut. “I know all about the relationship fiasco that they have, going on right now. He kissed her, she kissed him, now everyone hates each other. Now, what I want to know is, why should I help somepony who just moments ago threatened to dispose of me?” Discord asked. “As if she could…” Cadance looked like she was about to snap at him, but Twilight managed to get in her way before she could. The zipper covering her mouth disappeared, and she turned to face her sister-in-law. “Cadance, you need to calm down. You and I both know what will happen if you make Discord angry, so let’s all just calm down and be civilized about this.” Spike decided to take things into his own claws and rose from his spot. “Look, Discord, from one rare species to another, we really need your help, man. I may never have another chance at romance like this again, so please help us unscrew this. We turned to you because you’re the only one we know with super-ridiculous and all-knowing powers that can help.” Discord let out a sigh. “I suppose I do owe you for messing up during that whole Tirek shindig.” Before anyone could ask what that meant, he snapped his talons again. Their surroundings changed in an instant, and Cadance fell to the ground in shock. When the three looked around, Discord was nowhere to be seen. “Discord?” Cadance shouted out, pushing herself back onto her hooves. “Where have you taken us?” “Over here,” Discord called out, pulling their attention towards a rather bland looking window pane. It was at this point that they finally recognized their location, the Royal Hall. The mischievous creator of chaos popped into view on the window, his head poking in from the side. “Hello!” “Ugh, this again…” Twilight grumbled. This wasn’t how she envisioned their conversation going. “Does he do this on a regular basis?” Cadance asked, intrigued by Twilight’s obvious annoyance. “You have no idea,” Spike said, frowning. “The first time we ever met him was when he broke free,” Twilight recalled. “He moved around inside the window panes while he talked to us. He even did a little dance on my head…” “Oh, don’t act like you didn’t love it.” Discord limply waved his paw at her. Well, as much at her as he could in his two dimensional form. “Now, are you three interested in learning about this malevolent spirit, or not? As the Lord of Chaos, I have quite a busy schedule and there are much more entertaining things I could be doing than giving you all a history lesson.” “If you can tell us something useful, for once,” Cadance snarked at him. “I’m not holding my breath, though.” “Really, anything would be useful at this point,” Spike said. “Please help us.” “Just start at the beginning,” Twilight instructed him. With a mock salute, Discord snapped the claws on his paw, and the window pane he was in sprung to life. The scene was of a mountain high in the sky, caked in snow. Harsh winds appeared to be circulating above it, and Discord began to weave his tale. “Long ago, before your beloved Celestia and Luna were even but a thought, the old ones watched over the planet.” The scene quickly changed, a group of silhouettes forming in the clouds above the mountain. “The old ones have long since disappeared, but they were once the only beings capable of keeping Equestria in balance. Saphirum was one of these old ones,” he spoke, the scene shifting to a small town. A beautiful woman appeared to be watching over it from the skies, her flowing pink hair surrounding it. “As you already know from that cute little tome of yours, Saphirum was the Goddess of Love and Jealousy. Kind of like you,” he pointed to Cadance as best he could, “but actually important.” “Yes, yes, we know about her,” Cadance said, doing her best to ignore his dig at her. “Do tell me,” Discord said, snapped his fingers, pausing the scene entirely, “if you just learned about her today, how did you know what to call that precious room of yours? Seems a bit… convenient if you ask me.” “Well,” Cadance said, attempting to gather her thoughts. “It kind of just came to us. Come to think of it, it’s a tad strange that we both thought the same thing. But I guess we didn’t question it because it just seemed so perfect at the time.” “Or because you were under her influence,” Twilight reminded Cadance. “Now, continue, Discord.” “Very well,” the draconequus replied, circling around a bit and then flying to the top right of the pane. With a snap, the scene came back to life. “The old ones tasked Saphirum with overseeing the union of ponies, dragons, and all other manner of creature. Not only that, but she was entrusted with the management of all the jealousy, domestic abuse, and strife that encompassed the planet’s creatures.” “Even draconequi?” Twilight asked. To her surprise, Discord shook his head. “No. Many of the old ones were draconequi,” he answered her, then went back to the scene at hand. “Now, the old ones didn’t know it, but ole’ Saphirum was just a little, teensy-weensy emotionally unstable.” He flew over to Saphirum in the pane and tapped a claw against her. Almost immediately, her hair changed to a crimson red and began to flood through the streets of the village. The many ponies in his little windowpane-play were caught up in the waves, unable to move. “She was corrupted far too easily by the sight of everyone but herself having a significant other. Jealous much?” “Wait a second,” Spike cut in. “You’re saying she got corrupted from all the ponies she helped finding love? The book said she turned evil from absorbing all the negative energy in the world.” “The book, you say?” Discord laughed raucously. “You mean the book that was written thousands of years after all this went down? You may want to check your sources next time, children, because stories tend to change as the years go by,” he warned them. “Now, if you’ll allow me to continue.” He paused, waiting for them to give him the okay. Twilight nodded to him, and he smiled. “Thank you. Now, once lil’ ole’ Saphirum was corrupted, she tried to control everyone. Make them fight and separate from one another. Very possessive for someone that claimed to know about love, wouldn’t you agree?” “No kidding,” Spike replied with a nod.. Discord chuckled darkly. “Of course, that didn’t sit well with the rest of the old ones. So they…” With a snap of his fingers, the entire windowpane shattered to bits. “Ahh!” The three onlookers screamed in unison, Spike in particular upset by the piece of mystic glass protruding from his arm. Spike clawed at it futilely, and let out a groan. “This sucks…” “Oh, don’t be such a downer,” Discord tittered. The shards of glass sticking out of the trio rumbled a bit before flying back into place, the windowpane reforming good as new. “As you just saw, she was shattered into millions of pieces by the old ones, myself included.” He grinned. “But it appears that that wasn’t enough.” “Ya think?!” Cadance shouted. Discord ignored her, much to her chagrin. “... And if she’s back for the reason I believe, then this situation doesn’t surprise me at all.” The three looked at each other, then back to Discord. Cadance decided to voice the question that was going through all of their heads. “Why is she back?” “Because, Cadance.” Discord flashed out of the mural, and the windowpane behind him returned to normal. The three looked at him, waiting for him to continue. He glared down at Cadance intently, making her shuffle her hooves around. “You are the Saphirum.”