Falling Apart
Tears stung at Steel's eyes as he flew over Whitetail Woods. That couldn't be right, Summer couldn't have given birth to him. His mother's name was Aerial. Aerial Crestfall, not Summer Breeze. The mares that adopted him were lying to him. They wanted him to hate his past so he would be easier to control. He wasn't going to let that happen. He wasn't going back to them. Not that night, not ever again.
He was going to leave Ponyville behind and start his own life. There had to be somepony that would be willing to help him out. Sadly, he knew that leaving Ponyville would mean leaving behind the few ponies he cared about. Eddie, Halo... Autumn. Steel stopped and hovered in midair. He turned in the direction of Autumn's house. He couldn't leave her without at least saying goodbye.
Steel landed in front of Autumn's house. He knocked on the door. Winter Wind answered with a smile.
"Steel! How nice to see you. Come on in, I'm sure Autumn will be happy to know you're here."
Steel nodded politely and thanked Winter. He stepped into the foyer.
"Autumn!" Winter called out. "You have a visitor!"
"Coming, Daddy!"
Steel relaxed as he saw Autumn happily trot into the foyer. Her smile only grew when she saw Steel. "Hi Steel!"
"Hey Autumn."
Autumn could tell from Steel's voice that something was wrong. Today she was going to get some answers out of him.
Scootaloo leaned against Lightning. She hadn't cried. She had no desire. She was too lost in her thoughts to cry. Too lost in self hatred.
Yeah, tell it to him straight. Nice bucking work retard.
I know. I just hope he comes home soon.
He'll be better off if he doesn't.
Maybe he will...
"Scootaloo, snap out of it."
Scootaloo jumped at hearing Lightning's voice. She shook her head. This was no time to to let her guilt get the better of her. "Sorry. I just—"
"Don't be sorry, it's alright. I just don't want you listening to her too long. She tends to leave you in a bad mental state."
Scootaloo lowered her head. Before she could let her guilt take hold of her she shook her head again. Determination was in her eyes when she looked back at Lightning. "Yeah. I need to focus. I'm going after him."
"I think now would be a good time to leave him to sort this out.” Lightning frowned as Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow at him.
"You sure about that?"
"To be honest, no I'm not. But I can't think of a better plan, so that's what we'll go with."
Scootaloo sighed and lowered her head again. "Dammit Lightning. Sometimes I really hate it when you're honest."
Lightning closed his eyes and lowered his voice to a whisper. "So do I."
Steel and Autumn landed on the beach in front of the lake by the Everfree. He recalled a story Scootaloo once told him about encountering a giant squid in that lake while trying to get her cutie mark with Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.
"Steel, what's going on?" Autumn got straight to the point.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Steel, you can tell me anything. I—"
"I'm leaving Ponyville. I'm running away." Steel found those words a lot harder to say than he expected. What was harder for him to handle was the look on Autumn's face after he told her. He could have sworn he felt his heart get torn out of his chest.
"What? Why? Steel, what's—"
"I'll tell you before I leave. Right now I just want to say goodbye."
"But—"
"Please. I don't want my problems to mess up our last moment together." Steel began to wonder if that moment wasn't already ruined. He again felt his heart being ripped out as Autumn began to sob against his shoulder.
Scootaloo stood. She wasn't going to sit and wait while Steel did something that could get him hurt.
"Scoot, what are you doing?"
"I'm going to go find my brother. You coming with?"
"I don't think he's going to—"
"I DON'T CARE!" Scootaloo felt a pang of guilt for yelling at Lightning. She walked to the door. "I'm not just going to sit here while he's out there in his mental state. He's going to hurt himself, or worse, somepony else. I have to fix things with him."
Lightning nodded and stood next to her. "We'll find him faster if we're both looking. Let's not waste anymore time."
"I'm coming too." Rainbow stood next to them with her wings spread. "Spitfire will stay here with Summer."
Scootaloo smiled. "Thanks Ma."
"Thank me when we find him. Come on, we're losing daylight. My son is going to have a hot dinner and a warm bed tonight if it's the last thing I do."
Scootaloo took note of her mother referring to Steel as "her son." Scootaloo had never noticed the extent of her parents love for Steel before that moment. He had always been "Steel" or "your brother." Never once had they referred to him as their son. Scootaloo dove off the front porch. She was going to find her brother. No matter what it took.
Steel felt his world falling apart piece by piece. Every tear Autumn released onto his shoulder was another part of his heart that was melting away. He didn't know how he could leave with her in this state. Though they had only been together romantically for the better part of a week, but they had been close for almost a year. Steel's only closer friend was Eddie. It was then that it really hit Steel that running away meant leaving his entire life behind. Every friend he had ever made was here in Ponyville. How could he leave that? He knew it would be difficult, he knew he had to leave.
"St-Steel? Do you h-have to go?" Autumn choked out. Steel found himself fighting back tears as he responded.
"Yeah, I do. I'll come back for you. I promise I'll come back. When we're older. We can start over when we're older."
"Can we?" Autumn's words struck a chord with Steel. He had only been saying those things to try and get her to stop crying. And to prevent himself from crying. He hadn't actually thought about what he was saying. Could they start over sometime in the future? Would he even come back? He choked back tears and said the first thing he could force out.
"Of course we can."
"But what if we can't?"
Steel opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. He didn't have an answer to that.
Scootaloo had checked everywhere in Ponyville for her brother. She had rallied every member of Iron Pony that was currently in Ponyville, every one of her friends that was not a band member and every one of her parent's friends and their spouses to join in the search. And so far after two hours they had still come up empty. Scootaloo decided to head to the lake she had grown to love so much. She always went to the lake when she needed to clear her head, and right now was a time where she needed a good head clearing.
She flew low over the treeline of the Everfree Forest, dodging rogue treetops wherever they poked themselves out above the rest of the treeline. Immediately upon clearing the forest she found the pony she was looking for just on the other side of the lake. She saw that Lightning had a similar idea and was watching from the beach. She flew down and landed next to him. Her eyes became wide as saucers as the scene unfolded before her.
Autumn finally gathered herself enough to begin her interrogation of Steel. She was not going to let him leave without giving her the answers she was looking for.
"Steel, you need to talk to me. Don't think about leaving before you do."
Steel was taken aback. Did she seriously just order him to share his troubles with her? Only weak ponies bring their problems to others.
"I don't need to tell you anything. YOU on the other hoof need to learn to keep to your damn self." Steel felt guilty for the obvious hurt he had brought to Autumn with his words, but he knew he was only saying what she needed to hear. He then saw anger spread across her face.
"How DARE you talk to me like that! I just want to help you! All you've ever done is hide your problems from me! I just want to help!"
"You can help by shutting your bucking mouth!" Steel shouted back. "All you've ever done is nag at me to get me to open up about things I don't want to open up about! Don't you know that sometimes ponies like to keep their secrets a secret?!"
Autumn found herself fighting back tears. Breaking down and crying wouldn't help her now.
"Steel, I've ALWAYS told you about my problems! Every deep, dark secret I've ever had I've told you! Now, when I ask you to open up to me about your troubles so I can help you through them, you treat me like a jerk that just wants to know about you so I can tell the whole world! You were so nice the whole time I've known you! What changed?!"
Steel let out a bitter laugh and turned his back to Autumn.
"I'll tell you what's changed Autumn. I got sick of lying to everypony. It's such a good feeling, sharing whatever I feel whenever I feel it. It makes me feel free. Autumn, what changed is me. I stopped lying to the world. I've always been pissed off. The only difference is that now I let everypony know that I am."
Autumn stared in horror at the spectacle before her. Steel had lost it. Gone was the kind colt she had befriended almost a year ago. Gone was the colt she knew she could always depend on when she needed somepony to lean on. Gone was the colt that she had shared her first kiss with. That colt had been replaced by the monster she was fighting with. Steel turned around. He had a look in his eye that Autumn couldn't place. It seemed... crazed.
"Come with me, Autumn. You and I never have to be apart. Come with me, and we can start our new lives together."
Autumn took a step back. She wanted nothing to do with the colt standing in front of her. In a matter of hours he had gone from the Steel she knew and loved to something that she was horrified to look at.
"No."
"What?"
"I'm not coming with you. And you're not leaving. Steel, you need help." Autumn desperately held onto the hope that there was something left of the old Steel still inside of whatever she was looking at. She noticed Steel's face twist into one of rage.
"Help? HELP?! YOU THINK I NEED HELP?! I'M FINALLY FREE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NEEDS HELP! YOU'RE THE ONE STUCK LIVING BY THE LAWS OF THE PONIES AROUND US! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT I'M THE ONE WHO NEEDS HELP!"
Autumn took another step back. Steel began to move towards her. Fear overtook Autumn. She tried to force herself to relax, but she couldn't. She couldn't hold her tears back. "Who are you?"
Steel was confused by her question. "I'm Steel you moron. Who else would I be?"
"You're not Steel. Steel doesn't act like you. Steel's not a monster."
Steel wasn't sure why being described as a monster drove his next action. All he knew was the pain of his heart shattering when he felt his hoof impact over Autumn's left eye. He looked in horror at the scene before him. Autumn lay in the sand with tears pouring down her face. He heard wingbeats behind him and felt himself being forced to the ground. He saw an orange pegasus with a purple mane land next to Autumn and wrap her in her forelegs.
What have I done? No other thoughts formed inside his head for the rest of the night.