Mom was being a big meanie!
She's been acting all secretive and whispering to ponies about things that you apparently weren't allowed to know. You've even seen her talking to some other kids about whatever it was! All throughout the last three weeks you have done your darnedest to try and learn her secrets, but she always had a cookie or some other treat to distract you with whenever you asked. On top of that, she was even busier than normal, which you didn't even think was possible with her already crazy princess duties, and you've been spending even more time with Twilight because of it.
Not that you didn't like spending time with your unofficial big sister best friend forever, but you're practically living with her by this point! She takes you and picks you up from school, watches you most of the day and then finally mom comes and picks you up near the end of the day.
What was going on?!
Right now you were playing with Spike, Twilight having picked you up from school a little while ago. He was only three years old so it was pretty easy to keep him giggling as you used some sock puppets to talk to him.
"Hey Loopy, how are you doing today?" The white sock on your right hand said.
"I'm doing okay Mike, but gee wiz am I stumped!" Said the purple striped sock named Loopy on your left hand.
Spike, in his high chair as you two were at the dining table at Twilight's part of the castle, was entranced by your FLAWLESS performance.
"Oh, I am ever so sorry to hear that good chum! Could I help in any possible way?" You gave Mike a deep gravely thunder clap like voice, which came out more adorable than it should have thanks to your own squeaky voice, because you had given him his name first and thought that's the kind of voice somepony named Mike would have.
"Well you see, I just can't figure out how I'm going to tickle a friend of mine without arms!" With Loopy you just made your voice a bit higher because you got lazy.
"I could help you tickle them! We can double team them, so who's this friend of yours?"
Spike was on the metaphorical edge of his seat as you gave him a sly grin.
"Well, he's small, no bigger than a baby, is purple and green, and is really cute!"
Spike's eyes threatened to consume his face has he looked on, his mind wondering who this mysterious baby sized purple and green adorable person could be!
"Hmmm, could it be..."
Quickly Loopy and Mike sharp turn to look at Spike and rush him, each sock person attacking one of his sides as you yelled.
"-SPIKE?!"
"AH HA HA HA!"
Your tickle ruse had worked wondrously and Spike was powerless to stop you and your cohorts, then Twilight walked into the room.
"Hello Anon, I'm glad to see your playing nice with Spike."
At last relenting your assault on the poor infant drake you wave at Twilight with Loopy.
"Yeah, we were just playing around with some socks, I-"
"Waaaaait a second..."
Stopping you mid-sentence Twilight walks up a bit closer and takes Loopy from your hand to have a closer inspection of her.
"-This is one of MY socks! ANON!"
Giggling nervously you lean back in your seat throwing Mike, who was one of your own socks, over to Spike to nibble on.
"Yeah, none of my socks exactly felt...girly enough to be a girl, so I got one of yours."
Heavy blush across her face Twilight closed her eyes and counted to ten before teleporting the sock away.
"I can't get into the details now, you're still too young, but please understand that socks for ponies hold a much different meaning than the kind you wear Anon."
"Oh, I already know."
Twilight's pupils shrink nearly to the point of collapsing into black holes while you just proceed to play tug of war with Spike.
"What do you mean "I already know"?!"
"Since I've been here at your place so much I've been doing a lot of reading, you have your own freaking library after all, and I found your "Special Stash" under your bed."
You let Spike win by letting the sock go, him going back to slobbering over it, as you turned back to face Twilight with an innocent smile.
"Ponies don't need socks to keep warm like I do, so when they wear them it's to look se..saxy...OH, sex-"
Your lips were swiftly sealed shut by magic, its originator's face burning red.
"L-listen Anon, if you super duper absolutely without any backsys promise to not say ANYTHING about my...privet books or what you read in them to your mom, or anypony really but especially your mom, I'll buy you whatever ice cream you want from Swirl Top's right now, okay?"
You nod up and down as fast as you can, your lips still being sealed. Sighing Twilight releases your lips and picks up Spike to put him on her back, him now having torn a few good holes in your sock by now.
"Alright, let's get going then. I think I could use some ice cream myself."
"YEAH!" you yell excitedly as the three of you get ready to go out.
Fifteen Minutes Later
Your trio was now walking down the street, you enjoying a quad chaco attack double scoop ice cream cone, Twilight a simple one scoop vanilla cone, and Spike a small crystal you had picked up from a nearby jewelry store.
As you enjoy your frozen delight a thought popped into your head. You haven't tried asking Twilight yet if she knew what mom was doing.
"Hey, Twilight?"
Taking one more lick from her ice cream Twilight looked over at you.
"Yes, Anon?"
"Do you know why Mom's been so busy? She being a poopoo head and not telling me why she's being all secrety."
"SECRETIVE is the word I think you're looking for and I don't have the slightest clue~"
The way she said that, the way she's turned her eyes to look away from you!
"You DO know something!"
"Nope, don't have a clue."
"Tell me tell me tell me!"
"There's nothing to tell."
Twilight began to walk a little faster, you in turn having to speed up too. You could see a grin starting to spread across her muzzle.
"Come on Twiliiiiiiight, everypony's been all quiet about what mom's been doing, but you're my U.B.S.B.F.F., so you HAVE to tell me!"
"And with you as my U.L.B.B.F.F. (Unofficial little brother best friend forever) I would tell what you what it is Celestia's been doing-"
A glimmer of hope and excitement flashed in your eyes.
"-If I knew."
"AAAAUGH!"
Twilight giggled, popping the last bite of ice cream cone in her mouth before walking even faster, making sure that Spike was held down securely by her magic so he'd wouldn't fall off.
"You're being just as big a meanie as mom! And why are you walking so fast?!"
You were pouting by this point. You would have crossed your arms to complete the picture but you were pretty much lightly jogging at this point to keep up with Twilight.
"I'm not walking fast, you're walking slow."
She sped up more after saying that. You were really getting mad now.
"Where are we even going now, we missed the turn to get to your tower three blocks ago!"
That's when Twilight looked you right in the eyes with her tongue out and a wink.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
And before you knew it she had magicked up a seat belt out of nowhere to hold Spike to her back before breaking off at a full run, laughing down the street as you tried to catch up.
"H-HEY! TWILIGHT!!!"
You start running as fast as your stubby legs can take you. Being a human you had a natural advantage when it came to running, but only being six meant that advantage only extended to other six-year-olds and some out of shape seven-year-olds. Twilight took the lead by a long shot keep a good distance between the two of you.
As you chased her you noticed she was never too far ahead of you, slowing down if you got really behind. She also made sure you had caught up some before turning corners, essentially meaning you were never out of sight, all the while Spike is just having the time of his life riding around.
Eventually you saw the castle entrance coming into view after about ten minutes of following her.
"TWILIGHT, PLEASE STOP, YOU KNOW MOM'S TOO BUSY FOR US TO GO RUNNING THROUGH THE CASTLE!"
She doesn't even acknowledge you as she nods to the guards while running past them. They nod back and immediately open the doors for her. Pausing to catch your breath just outside the still open doors you glare at the pair, both of whom had the smallest of smiles. it fills you with a child's rage.
"Tell me your secrets!" You yell with a finger pointed between the two of them.
They both come to attention and salute.
"We are simply following orders from you mother, your young highness. We are prohibited from speaking any further on the matter."
Rolling your eyes you run past them.
"You're jerks!"
They just smile again and close the doors behind you as you start to run around the castle looking for Twilight and Spike. It doesn't take long as you spot her in the main hall leading to the ballroom. The second you come around the corner she gives you a raspberry and Spike waves at you with infant nativity before she practically leaps through the door with a giggle. Groaning you follow. When you reach the door you waste no time and enter the room.
"Alright Twilight, I'm done with runn-"
"SURPRISE!"
You are nearly blown back by the sudden amount of voices. Looking around you find that you're surrounded by ponies. There's nearly your entire class from school, all of your friends, some of the castle staff you had befriended, of course Twilight and Spike, and mom.
"Happy birthday Anonymous!"
With that final cheer all the kids from your class tackle hug you in one big swarm, you laughing uncontrollably as they all wished you a happy birthday of their own. A few moments later you manage to break free from the convergence of children and go over to your family. You run right up to your mom and hug her legs.
"This is what you were being all secrety-I mean, secretive about!"
Hugging you back Celestia nuzzles the top of your head.
"It wouldn't be all that good of a surprise birthday party if I hadn't been secrety about now would it?"
Detaching from the hug you look over to Twilight, who was grinning like a mad mare, Spike trying to reach one of the many pastries strewn about various tables from her back.
"I guess not, but did you really have to make me chase around the city to get me here? I mean come on Twilight, my legs are too stubby for that!"
"Sorry~, but I thought it would be fun to make you work for it a little. It's not my fault you don't ever exercise properly."
"Like you do? You never leave your room if you don't have to!"
"Actually, I've been getting up early every day since Celestia told me about the party just so I could outrun you." She said this with a smirk.
Frustrated you just about let it go and go enjoy the party when an idea hits you.
A mean idea.
An evil, downright despicable idea.
Grin devious, you motion for mom to bring her head down towards you. When she does you whisper in her ear. Twilight looks on confused when-
"You found WHAT under her bed?!"
Face burning like a fire Twilight yells the first thing to enter her brain.
"Anonymous!"
"Twilight Sparkle!" Was the retort as Celestia looked down upon her with a motherly anger that made every kid in the room lock up.
"SpIka!" Was Spike's response as he thought they were all playing a game where you yelled a name.
You had snickered then, but as it would turn out later because you had read those books your mom had thought there was no point in waiting anymore and that night gave you "The Talk".
You didn't sleep that night, even with your awesome new enchanted perfect temperature blanket you got as a gift. With Twilight getting a different but just as harrowing talk about being a growing mare and her punishment for letting you see those books you both decided to forget the whole thing and call it a truce.
Spike got to eat two whole slices of cake, so at least one of the three of you came out unscathed.
Lesson to be learned: If you have one, hide your copy of "(Censored)" really good.