The warm evening wore on past twilight into true darkness. It was well past midnight and Luna’s velvet sky was painted with the lovely sprinkling of stars. Under that night sky in the center of the Apple Family barn, two titans were battling for Apple alcohol supremacy. Princess Celestia and Applejack were well into their second bottle of apple whiskey and neither were showing any sign of slowing as Princess Luna and Timber, Celestia’s guard captain, looked on from their hay bale seating.
“Wow so those two are really going at it huh?” TImber said taking a sip of his own glass of whiskey.
“Tis true. Celestia has developed quite a tolerance for alcohol over the years’ one that I cannot hope to match.” Princess luna said swirling her own glass of whiskey watching the amber liquid reflect the light from the lanterns hung in the barn’s rafters; a small blush apparent on her face. Timber nodded as a response.
“Timber how did you get that scar on your face?” Luna asked’ the Whiskey loosening her normal restraint. “I-I mean Tia told me that you got it from a manicore but what happened?”
“So you really want to know what happened to my eye?” The scarred pegasus asked the Night Princess. Luna nodded and took a sip of her whiskey. Timber pursed his lips and nodded and threw back the remaining contents of his glass.
“I was on a patrol shortly after being reassigned from weather patrol to the royal guards, when we came across this huge manticore. He was all foaming at the mouth and roaring. So my buddy, who was on patrol with me, told me to stay the hell away from that manticore `cause it would kill me. I told him I’ll bet you ten bits he doesn't. You know who came out ten bits a head this pony.”
Luna’s mouth hung open for a minute, as she tried to process the story she was just told.
“YOU RISKED LIFE AND LIMB ON A LARK?!” Luna shouted, surprised by the guard’s purported recklessness.
“No Your Highness. I did most definitely did not risk life and limb on a lark.” Timber said, stone-faced while he poured another measure of whiskey into his glass. “There was ten bits on the line.” He said smirking and lifting his glass to the Princess of the Night.
“YOU- NO- TEN BITS, TIS NO BETTER THAN A LARK!”Luna turned to look at Celestia and found Celestia and Applejack watching her. “Tia, did you know you guard captain would risk life and limb on a lark?”
Celestia stifled a laugh as did the orange farm pony.
“A Lark you don’t say.” Celestia said looking to Timber “Captian care to elaborate on these accusations?”
“Yes Your Majesty, there was actually a bet of ten bits on the line.” Timber said taking a sip of his whiskey.
“Oh well that’s not a lark.” the Alabaster alicorn said waving a hoof dismissively.
“SISTER, THIS STALLION GUARDS US AND HIS JUDGEMENT HAS BEEN CALLED INTO QUESTION! TEN BITS IS NOT SUFFICIENT TO RISK LIFE OVER!!” Luna shouted standing and pointing a hoof at her sister.
“You are absolutely correct sister. A new edict; all gambles where life is on the line must be for at least twenty bits.” Celestia announced setting her empty glass down with a thud on the worn wood table and coming to her own feet somewhat shakily.
Luna’s face contorted as she tried to wrap her head around what Celestia had just said. But then she recognized the smirk on her sister’s face. “I hate you sister.” Luna said sitting down and taking a sip of her own whiskey. The other three had a great laugh at the joke as the Princess of the Night contemplated murdering them all. The laughter eventually died down and Celesia and Applejack returned to their contest.
“I’m sorry, princess. Working with your sister as long as I have may have corrupted my sense of humor.” The grizzled guard said.
“Tis okay. I just am a bit slow picking up on current humors” Luna said looking dejectedly at her glass.
“I was on patrol shortly after reassignment I heard a mare screaming for help and I came to her aide. A massive manticore was chasing her. I swooped in and saved her. But not before that big son-of-a-bitch got a lucky swipe in on me. And I bucked him as hard as I could in his face and he ran off. Not too much to the story, sorry to say princess.” Timber said taking another swig of his whiskey.
“That sounds quite harrowing Captain Timber. You should bare that scar with pride.” Luna said with reverence.
“You should have been there sister. Brave Captain Timber rushed off into the darkness toward the sounds of danger. He charged furiously at the beast dodging it's so very nearly lethal attack. He then reared and bucked the beast so hard the manticore landed not less than fifty hooves away. The beautiful young mare was so impressed she begged me to marry them on the spot and bore his foal shortly after. Truly something worthy of legend.”Celestia said giggling at her own tall tale.
“Fifty hooves huh? We could use you around come applebuck season.” Applejack said tilting her stetson back.
“I kind of like the legend thing.” Timber said pointing a hoof toward Princess Celestia.
“Or perhaps a ballad?” Luna suggested.
“That has a ring to it. The Ballad of Timber the Mighty Manticore Slayer.” Timber said everypony laughing heartily.
“The worst part was the teasing I took from the other guards. Bet you didn’t see that coming, it's all fun and games till somepony loses an eye. And you have no idea the amount of pirate jokes I heard because of the eyepatch I had to wear for a while. ‘Arr Shiver me Timbers.’” Timber said, shaking his head to dislodge the memory.
“That’s awful.” Luna giggled.
“Oh I got even. I got a unicorn to enchant a few items with an itching spell.” Timber said grinning.
“I always wondered who did that.” Celestia said taking another shot. “Samatter apple flanks you done?”
“Not even close there Sunbutt.” And Applejack downed two shots in response.
“Why are you two being disrespectful about each other’s cutie marks?” Luna asked after wrinkling her nose at the Sun Butt comment
“Because it’s fun to relax sometimes, Moon Butt.” Celestia said, causing Applejack to choke on her shot.
“Indeed.” Luna said narrowing her eyes at her sister. She then leaned towards Timber and whispered. “ Tell me about this Itching enchantment.”