Jack stands in front of a car with the hood up. A salespony is on his left, wearing a white button up shirt, with a suit coat over it. The salespony grins and brushes back his brown mane in triumph.
Cadence, who stands to Jack's right, keeps rolling her eyes every time the salespony mentions a fake car part and points to it, just to hear Jack gasp in amazement.
Cadence “Jack seriously, why do you keep buying cars when I can teleport…”
Jack laughs condescendingly, “Cadence look, I know cars aren’t a woman’s things, but trust me: When a car has a big sign that says “Rackapinion Savings”, you gotta jump on it before someone else does.”
Cadence glares at Jack. Jack nudges the salespony with his elbow, “Women, am I right?”
The colt glances nervously at Cadence then back to Jack, “Um...she’s a princess and an alicorn, you’re on your own.” Jack rolls his eyes, and goes inside with the colt for paper work.
As Jack finally exits the colts office, Cadence is waiting in the lobby with Luna, who is playing Grand Theft Auto on her PS Vita. Luna chews bubblegum as she drives on the sidewalk.
Cadence marches up to Jack, “Are you an idiot?! Do you know nothing about sales?!”
Jack dismisses Cadence with a disrespectful wave of his hand, “Look, I know the talk is complicated for someone who sits on a throne all day, but this is definitely my area. Besides, the plasma manifold works and that’s good enough for me.”
Cadence narrows her eyes at Jack, accompanied by a look of disbelief that anyone could be that stupid.
Cadence sits back on her haunches,
“Ok let me go over a list of why you suck at this.
#1 When you asked if it had been in an accident, he started talking about the tires.
#2 When I asked if it had been in an accident, he patted you on the back and said that “Good old Jack here knows what he’s doing”.
#3 When Luna asked what Rackapinion Savings means, you started hitting on me.
And if you don’t stop staring at my ass, I’m going to teleport you inside of a volcano!”
Jack takes his eyes off Cadences flank, and looks her in the eyes, “Sorry, I wasn’t listening over all the money I saved. You see, I’m what they call a premium member now. I just paid for an annual membership for $5000 and they’ll notify me when more deals come in.” Jack checks out his fingernails as snooty as possible.
Luna puts her Vita away and joins them, “Wait...you only paid two grand for the car though...so unless you plan on buying a new car at the same price three times a year…”
The salespony walks up to Jack, “Did I mention it used to have leather seats?”
Jack claps his hands excitedly, “See Luna? We can put in leather seats again!”
Luna narrows her eyes, “Sometimes I feel like you just live in a different reality…”
Cadence sits in the driver's seat, with Luna as a passenger. They drive along an interstate, with happy smiles.
Luna points at the road, “Pothole!”
Cadence swerves and hits the hole. They hear a loud thump in the trunk, followed by Jack yelling a few cusswords from inside it. Cadence and Luna both chuckle.
Luna “How did you get him to get into the trunk anyways?”
Cadence shrugs, “I told him we were going on a secret mission that involved secret princess underwear, and he didn’t ask anymore questions when I told him he had to hide in the trunk.”
Luna nods “And how long do you think it will be until he figures out that we’ve just been driving in a large circle, hitting potholes the entire time?”
Cadence, “I’d give it a few more hours.”
Cadence turns to Luna, “Ok wanna test out this things breaks?
Luna smiles, “Not yet, go through that neighborhood, there’s a garage sale I wanna go to first.”
Cadence pulls up in front of a house. Luna gets out, and makes a beeline to a table with lots of tools on it. Cadence watches as Luna points with her hoof at various wrenches and hammers. The woman tending the sale happily puts them in a bag for Luna. When she’s done, the bag sags viciously from all the weight. Luna carries the bag with her magic over to the trunk, and motions to Cadence with her hoof to open it.
Jack squints his eyes as he sees the sun, with a very confused look on his face, “Um...are we there yet?”
Luna grins at him maliciously “Not quite. Here, hold on to these tools.” Luna dumps the contents of the bag all across Jack, who covers his head in fear. Despite his cries of pain, Luna slams the trunk and gets in the passenger seat.
After buckling in, she looks over at Cadence, “Ok, now we can test the brakes.”.
Cadence sits on a bench under a tree, with sunglasses on. She casually eats an apple, while staring at the car, which is parked a few meters ahead of her in a parking lot. She watches Luna bounce up and down on top of the trunk. The car rocks violently with Jack screaming in terror from the trunk still.
Luna yells loud enough to where Jack can hear her, “Oh no! Now we’ve lost complete control of the car, and we’re heading towards a river! What ever shall we do!?”
She hears Jack cry out in panic, “Pull the emergency brake!!”
Luna gets off and kicks the car with her hind legs. She hears Jack yell in terror again.
Luna makes fake dying sounds, “Oh no! We hit a tree and Cadence is dead! And I’m mortally wounded, the only person who can let you out of the trunk!” Luna uses her magic to bring over a bucket of water.
She goes back to sounding hurt, “Oh no, the cars in the river now and it’s filling up with water!” Luna makes fake drowning noises and dumps the water on top of the trunk.
Jack screams over and over, “Oh God, water’s coming in!”
Luna happily trots over to Cadence and sits next to her, grabbing an apple off the tree and eating it.
Cadence chuckles, “Wow he is really fun to mess with.”
Luna nods, “Hey you know what we should do? Actually plunge the car into a river.”
Cadence slowly looks over at Luna nervously, “Uh...that might be a bit too far.”
Luna shrugs apathetically, “Suit yourself.”
Luna drives with her rear knee against the steering wheel, as she uses her front hooves to play Grand Theft Auto on her Vita.
Cadence braces herself against the dashboard in complete terror. Numerous cars honk their horns as Luna drives straight down the dividing line between lanes.
Cadence “Um...Luna, you know I love you a lot but WILLYOUPLEASENOTGAMEANDDRIVE!?!?”
Luna sighs annoyed, “I got it.”
Cars around them are covered in a purple glow, as they’re whisked out of the way.
Cadence narrows her eyes “I honestly feel like this is cheating.”
Luna rolls her eyes, “The infinite money glitch is something everyone uses so it’s not really cheating.”
“I meant moving other cars instead of driving safely!” shrieks Cadence.
Jack from the trunk “I was thinking the same thing!”
Luna swerves hard to the left. They hear the sound of various tools colliding with the right side of the trunk, followed by Jack screaming in agony.
Luna “Better be careful about thinking there Jack…”
Cadence is writing something down, with Luna glued to her side, giggling and making suggestions.
Cadence turns to Luna excitedly, “Ok are...are you sure this isn’t too much?”
Luna shakes her head wildly, “No no, it’s perfect!”
Luna and Cadence quietly sneak up to the car. Luna looks at Cadence and nods.
Luna clears her throat and tries to sound like a male italian mobster, “Heyo Joey, is this the car with the dead princess we’re supposta crush?”
Cadence “Yeah Bruno, we gotta turn dis here car into a tiny cube to hide da evidence!” Says Cadence, also trying to sound like an italian mobster.
Jack from the trunk, “Um...hello?”
Luna sounds surprised “Oey! There’s someone in there! Owells , we was told not to look in the trunk. I’ll get the compacta!”
Luna drives up in another car and slowly starts backing into the first car, making it move sideways.
Cadence, “Keep it coming Bruno, we gotta smash it up real good!”
They hear Jack pound viciously on the top of the trunk, “I can pay you, I’m a premium member! I can get you discounts!”
Luna stops backing into it, gets out and starts jumping on the hood of the first car.
Cadence “Yeah Bruno, that thing ain’t gonna be no recognizable when we’s done.”
Luna gets out and runs over to the trunk, “Wait did you hear dats? What’s that moaning sound?”
Cadence starts making zombie noises. Luna gasps, still doing an italian mobster, “Oh noes! Friggin zombies! Get away from me!” Luna kicks the car a few times and makes dying noises.
“Agh! My bullets has no effect on des guys! Aaaaggghhh!” She throws herself against the car, rolling from side to side, flailing her limbs wildly, making dying noises.
Jack screams and starts rocking back and forth. Cadence and Luna fall to the ground laughing. Cadence trots up to the trunk, still giggling, “Ok Jack, we were just messing with you. We’ll let you out.”
Jack “Ok that’s it! Jack Stone Time!” Bullets start tearing up the front of the car, as Jack shoots wildly.
Cadence and Luna run from the car and dive into a small trench nearby.
One of Jack’s bullets disabled the parking brake and the car slowly starts moving forward.
Cadence looks up and notices the car actually begins going down a small hill. Cadence gasps as her and Luna chase after the car, as it plows over small trees.
Jack “Oh ha ha. Real funny you two!”
Cadence yells to the car “Jack! Get out of there, you’re heading for a river!”
They hear Jack laugh sarcastically, as the car bounces down the hill, hitting the water with a loud splash.
Jack “Oh wow, more water! You two are so original!”
Cadence looks over and sees Luna falling behind. “Hurry Luna!”
Luna pants, “Too...many...cheetos…” Cadence turns back around, with a determined look on her face, still flying after the car.
Jack “Oh look! An actual trout! Wow, I bet nothing will happen if I stick my - Ow! It bit me!”
The car is carried swiftly down river, as Cadence gives it her all to try and catch up.
Cadence catches up, and uses her magic to stop the car right before it goes over a waterfall. She forces the trunk open. Jack sits up, unharmed for some reason despite being stuck in the trunk for an entire day with loose tools.
Jack climbs out of the trunk weakly, still petrified. Cadence looks at him with sympathy. Jack slowly climbs to his feet. Cadence turns her head away in disgust as she sees a trout with it’s face inside Jack’s zipper, wiggling around valiantly. Jack looks down and pulls off the fish, “Sorry, I thought it was fake.”
Cadence “Wait so...you thought you’d check using your…”
Jack smirks “Well I could always check you for-”
Cadence whirls around and kicks Jack with both her hind legs. Jack flies into the trunk. The lid closes and the car goes over the waterfall. Cadence screams, flies over and grabs the car at the last second. She carries it gradually all the way up the hill, back into the parking lot.
She opens the trunk, with a very unenthusiastic face. Jack Stone lays on his side, with his back to Cadence. He looks over his shoulder, “Um...mind giving me a few minutes?” A fish jumps out of the pool of water. Jack grabs it and holds it in front of him so Cadence can’t see.
Cadence groans, and slams the trunk, then begins driving back to Canterlot.
Cadence’s eyes suddenly widen “Oh crap, Luna!”
Luna teleports into the passenger seat, “Yeah, thanks for that bitch!”