You don't get to pose for it, or even plan it, or even make a Star Trek reference.

I mean really, you can just be out walking after a long day of working at Sugar Cube Corner and BAM! Suddenly everyone is talking in Welsh, and my Welsh is easily my weakest of the languages of the United Kingdom.

I can speak Irish and Scottish and British English as good as anyone, but I've never quite gotten the hang of my Welsh. It really makes it hard for me to do Welsh Parties, which I really need to work on.

I mean I've researched, and on a couple occasions have done, English Parties, French Parties, French-Canadian Parties, Swahili Parties, Japanese Parties, and Mongolian Parties, and I am ready to do about 47 other languages, but my Welsh......

Welsh Pinkie, who otherwise looks just like me but with a different voice in a different language, can speak it fine, but I can't. It's sad really.

"......Oh my Sugary God, the Dump just explo....." Pinkie's train of thought crashed the moment she found herself randomly on top of a building.

Turning back and looking into the city, she spotted several buildings and landmarks that she knew from her extensive studies on making New York City parties: the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, the Metlife Building, Central Park, and the World Trade Centers she had only seen in pictures. They looked a little off though: a little nagging feeling you got when you saw something familiar, but you were quite sure that there was just a couple of little things off about them.

it was somewhat obvious with the Metlife Building, given that it was instead called the 'New England Plane and Blimp Airline Building', and the Twin Towers being.....well, there.

They were also surrounded by tiers, one of which had a blue and gray train zoom by with a 'Metro N.E' logo instead of a Metro-North Logo as it was supposed to be.

"Oh come on! Again with the alternate universe teleportation! Why does this keep happening to me!?"

A sudden chill wafted on by, snapping Pinkie out of her Rarity-style freak-out (they were fun! No wonder she always did them), and snapping her back to...this reality.

As she intended to do that, she reappeared at her destination with a planned spin and pose.

The Canada Goose that was in front of her just hissed her way and swam off in the water. Pinkie rolled her eyes in response.

"Everyone's a critic....and this universe has Canada Geese in it? That's annoying: are Canadian Geese a scourge on all realities? Am I going to end up in a world controlled by them one of these days? Also, you looked a little dull in your feathers there Mister Goose, are you feeling all..."

Her skin wasn't pink anymore! Neither was her hair! Her clothes even seemed a little duller in color!

Her skin was instead pasty and white, looking more like a sickly Rarity coloration. Her hair was a unvibrant, unpopping, unultrapoofy red.

Pinkie just stared at herself in shock and horror, gaping in terror at a universe that seemed to have an entirely different coloring pallet!

What was next, a universe where everyone was just black and white like an old movie!? Well, if she could have some fun with the old-fashioned 'effects without sound' and the zaniness of it all that might not be be so bad...

Oh, not the large poster that was placed on the side of the mobile book selling mobile, nor the book selling mobile itself. People should read more.

Apparently like Canadian Geese, Harry Potter was also a cross-universe wonder. One that didn't menace small children beyond nightmare fuel about evil pink toads and slightly less evil K.K.K wizards.

"Hermione, Puckle?" Pinkie mouthed to herself as she saw the name labeled under the famous witch in-between children swarming it out of view, "Gary Thomas, and why is he so prominent along with Theodore Nott? Pyrites, Mafalda Weasley? Why is the Half-Blood Prince the second book, and the last one is Harry Potter and the Elder Wand? And why is Harry holding the Philosophers Stone, like he's Nathan Drake? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

Yeah, kind of have to agree with you there," the a green and tan dressed young adult with the silly hat and even sillier tri-pronged goatee told her as he walked up to the book truck, "I've never quite understood this series either, but it's well written and it actually has good movies coming out. Now, Kaede needs a replacement for Books 3 and 4 still after the Battle....hopefully they didn't already sell out already...." he mumbled it to himself as Pinkie shook her hand.

It was how her powers worked, really. They'd randomly teleport her somewhere, and while she was there she could actually use them. She could go anywhere in that anywhere she was at.

However, she could only go home if she managed to charge herself enough to do so, and sadly she did not come with a charging gauge.

Although, that would be nice. Just imagining the built in party cannon made her drool.
....

So, the Harry Potter thing was rather shocking, on top of the general shockingness of the universe in general.

Taking a deep breath, Pinkie plopped down on the grass, and saw the clouds move across the sky in this alternate Central Park.

....perhaps, it wasn't so odd after all. After all, the clouds were just as interesting to look at here as they were back home.

"......Did you here about what the Danes did?" she overheard two men talking amongst themselves, sitting a bit away from her on the grass with a couple of bagged lunches (from what she could see by bending her neck and looking over towards them).

"Oh yeah, such a shame. I love paprika-based food. Can't believe they've all been lost."

The first man who talked gave an annoyed sigh, "No Gaeton, that's Hungarian. You really need to stop mixing up Denmark and Hungary."

"....A lot. Anyway, apparently the Danish King put all of them on a boat, and left."

"....Must have been a big boat." Gaeton voiced Pinkie's thoughts exactly. Putting 5 million people on a boat must have been tricky.

"Not as big as you might think: I suppose someone in the Danish Government must have wanted to thank WW7 for shrinking the population enough they only needed a really big boat." Wait, what about World War: the Force Awakens?!

"Apparently they're coming over here: I'm told they made a deal with the military to settle down in one of the parts of Virginia the army managed to de-Gluestick and de-Confederate, though I'm told that the gluesticks did most of the de-confederating." Gaeton joked as Brandon the not-Gaeton gave him a sour look.

"Confederates are idiots, but they didn't deserve that. Sure, they probably deserve being kicked out of their homes by Danes, I'd rather eat tin cookies than grits any-day of the week, but they don't deserve being turned into Salt-lickers."

Gluesticks and Salt-lickers? That's a curious euphemism for something. And Confederate.....did they mean 'declare independence for slavery, die for slavery, then claim it was totally not about slavery and it was instead all about state's rights (to slavery) later' confederates, or some other sort of Confederate?

"You're family didn't fight in the wars Brandon, mine did, (I'm a Quaker Gaeton, we don't do wars). I've heard more about the Delaware War than they tell in schools. Confederates are nasty creatures, the likes of which we only see in the remote parts of the Appalachians where they grow illegal tobacco, inbreed to sterility and madness, and think they don't have to send their children to school to learn anything that doesn't involve that dead Palestinian and firearms. Heck, they might be considered the liberals down there from what I've heard."

"I was taught, and I believe, that we are all humans in the end," Brandon stated with some finality as he loudly crumbled his lunch bag in a sign of anger, "Federate, Confederate, Danish, Hungarian.....we've spent far too much time, and lost too much everything, fighting each other. Especially now: why fight amongst ourselves when we have the damn Salt-lickers to deal with?"

"Why indeed." Gaeton stood up, scowling, "It's not like the Salt-lickers are the only inhuman menaces running about. The day of the normal person is over Brandon: don't act like we're safe either way. If we don't all drinking the happy juice and licking sat, we're going to be run by freaks."

With little explanation for her as to what he meant, Gaeton stormed off the opposite direction. Brandon shook his head in dismay, before pulling out a company-issue water bottle (Studio Tartakovsky) and taking several deep gulps from it, before walking off, seeming a tad depressed. Apparently he had not expected the conversation with his quite-possibly ex-friend to go that way.

Pinkie calmly listened to their conversation, twirled a blade of grass in her fingers as the ex-friend walked off, promptly concluded she had no idea what they were talking about.

She was also rather parched, but water fountains were a wonderful thing, so she could get free water without braving a fight with the trans-universal threat of Canada Geese.

However, despite being in a place with so many high-class dining options even Rarity couldn't complain, she quickly realized that even the act of buying things would run into a serious, unavoidable problem.

"I'll take two ice creams!" amidst the jingle of the ice-cream cart she was currently spying on, a dark haired, quite thin teenage male with violet eyes the color of Rarity's hair (and come to think of it, the only person she had seen with eyes that color in this universe that lacked color) and a chessboard folded up and under the arm farthest from her, ordered in such a dramatic tone of voice she wondered what else he shared with her.

"Oh, I'll have a Vanilla cup, and my brother will have a Chocolate sugar cone." A younger, brown haired girl in a wheelchair next to him chimed in, sounding adorable. She was the second person Pinkie noted in this universe to have the odd eye color.

And her problem was promptly shown when the older brother handed over a duo of purple bills.

She had green bills: and she was pretty sure the monetary exchange wouldn't help.

She watched the brother push the sister down the path before her, both cheerfully licking away without a care in the world.

A bit later, even as her hunger coma was starting to loom, Pinkie perked up from her grassy location as a brown haired man with hair so fuzzy she just wanted to rub it, and a blond haired woman whose hair was so straight she could probably use it as a ruler, who was holding onto a oddly stained metal briefcase.

Of course she'd need a ruler to first mark the inches on her hair to do so, so such a use really was rather pointless.

Both were oddly dressed: each was dressed up in a fly costume with large, red, compounded goggles on top of their head, proboscis trunks, multiple sticky limbs, and thin wings on the back Pinkie assumed were not functional.

"Will you two just give it up already!" The old cop shouted after them, keeping a surprisingly fast (but not quite fast enough) run for someone his age. Was it just her, or was his hand inching (while running?) towards his holster-no wait, his hand was definitely inching towards his holster Maybe she shouldn't be sitting here?

"Ho ho! Really Officer Munch (Detective Munch, for the fifth time!), you think we'd stop running now?! We've been running for decades, no one can catch Issac and Miria!" the fuzzy haired bug guy declared.

Pinkie thought about it a bit as the three shouted back and fourth. She could move and get out of whatever harm's way, but that might also entail missing out on the only significant entertainment she might get in this weirdo world-it wasn't as if she could go online with her phone, after all.Pinkie raised a finger to her chin in thought. " Hmm. Decisions decisions."

"That's right!" The girl smiled back, waving without a care at the police officer, "We've avoided being captured by the Benevolence Society, the Dominions of Canada and California, Interpol, the KGB, and the Confederate States! We're a little hard to catch."

Watch and be entertained by this confrontation that she kind of wished she was a part of, or seek the safety of a nearby trashcan? Decisions decisions.

"Yes, and we're just as clever as we are slippery!" Isaac continued, still outpacing the man who was probably as old as them, but in much worse condition. The two must use some real killer moisturizer or something. "Why do you think we dressed up like this!?"

"We heard all about how one of the local criminal gangs had hidden thirteen million in the Horse Stables, guarded by fearsome horses, so we dressed as-Miria look out!" Issac shouted as Munch drew a gun of a model of which Pinkie had never seen in any of her father's NRA magazines and opened fire, all in one practiced motion that took less than a second.

Miria heard the dart shoot out, and swung her 13 million carrying case to block it. The dart was knocked off course, and was sent flying right at ....

Pinkie teleported out of the way of the dart, hoping to get anywhere away from the line of fire.

That somewhere was quickly made apparent when she found herself in a bar. Location, unknown.

And no, she couldn't just ask someone: the bar was completely empty and was extremely dusty.

Sliding a finger down the old but well maintained bar counter-top, inches of dust was dislodged.

"Well.....this place certainly isn't a party. No one's been here in forever, and even if it got dusted, this place seems a little low-key. I mean, even with the clearly visible places they used to keep T.V's above the bar that are now fallen, this place just lacks a hook. Nothing that gives this place some personality, some pizazz, some...."

Turning to look around the boring abandoned bar, her words were quickly taken aback when she was confronted by a giant taxidermy....something staring her down.

It was big, reaching near the top of the bar's roof. It had giant claws, a dark color, and clearly unnatural cool glasses and a beer mug that were clearly not naturally part of it.

"Okay....now I see the pizazz. Now, if only I knew what that thing was?" Looking around for any sort of hint, all she found were dusty booths, a old jukebox that probably didn't work anymore, one of those old cigarette machines, and a single wooden door with a hole through the middle, illuminating the bar with a single beam of light.

Walking to and opening the old door, it creaked with disuse, before falling to the ground with a thump.

Walking into the light, she briefly noted the name of the bar (The Sloth Slough), but that quickly exited her mental priority list as she got a good view of where she had teleported to.

A ruined town, filled with buildings that had been smashed, broken, or just decaying. Mountains loomed in the distance, peaks she had a sneaking suspicion were probably the Appalachians based on her geography parties past.

".....I'm in the Walking Dead. Oh my lord I am in the Walking Dead. An actual Walking Dead world, they do exist. And now I'm in it....."

Her gaze shot rapidly, moving form one decaying street to a mildly different decaying street.

"Are the Walkers nearby, are they going to start swarming me. Oh no, I don't want to die.....I have so much still to bake! and I haven't even gotten started on the perfect Welsh parties...."

"Wait, if this is the Walking Dead Universe........that means I'm infected! I can never go back home, or I'll spread the virus to another Earth! I'm going to have to sacrifice myself for the good of everyone: Mom and Dad, Maud and Mr and Mrs. Cake, Pound and Pumpkin, those random hobos on the corner of....."

"Wait, New York was perfectly fine, and I still lack color so this is still the same universe. That means this isn't the walking dead, and I'm not a plague infected biological ticking time bomb!"

Pinkie promptly bounced up and down in eager relief, glad to be free of that fear.

Now, was anyone still around here? Because if this wasn't the Walking Dead, where were the Walking Living?

The abandoned houses clearly had been damaged prior to their abandoners leaving them.

Sure, they were all falling apart, seemed to have broken doors (some as if someone broke it down from within, others from outside), and they clearly needed a date with a power washer (fun times, fun times....if only that one time....), but there was more.

A few for example looked like something had broken in from above. Like, if Ninja Turkeys had emerged from the forest and broke into peoples homes to avenge their fallen brethren, or something like that.

Pretty big turkeys though, she'd have said Ninja Ostriches if the size and continent was more appropriate. Possibly Ninja Rhea, but that'll be a stretch.

The roofs were hardly made of straw after all, and it didn't seem like the theoretical turkey ninjas had explosives to help do it. She didn't see any signs of such force being used, and she was well aware of what explosions looked like.

The house damage that had occurred after the possible Boom Boom Turkey Ninja attacks, as evidenced by the several homes that had utterly collapsed in on themselves, made her somewhat hesitant to go inside one. However, like all towns in and around Appalachia, particularly what she suspected to be this town's half of Appalachia, there was always going to be one really solid building to look in.

Today Is Christ, Tomorrow is Dominion, Everyday is For the Lord Eternal for he is Divine

Was what she was pretty sure the ever changing yet oddly enjoyable church sign (though this one was not really that good) had said back in the old days. Now, it just said

d is C o r D i s d E a D

All the other letters had fallen off to the ravages of time, weather, and squirrels-one of which she saw scurrying off somewhere with a letter in its mouth. So, at the bare minimum she could theorize squirrels may have taken over the world. Pinkie touched a finger to her chin thoughtfully.

Sure, when she walked inside the carpets were a total wreck, looking like someone had herded goats through it in mass, but for a ruined church it was surprisingly good in the upholstery department.

Not so good in the water fountain department, but a church in a dead society area could only have semi-tolerable upholstery, or water in the pipes.

A stain-glass window with the traditional, quite inaccurate portrayal of White Jesus was smashed through, as if the Ninja Turkeys (or possibly Ninja Goats given the damage to the carpet, though how they managed to get up to the window was beyond her. Jetpack-Ninjutsu Goats perhaps?) had broken through, and the benches were overturned.

They were all knocked back, and had been for some time. They were covered in dust, their former content spilled about.

Dozens of bibles were lying on the ground, looking like they had been tap-danced on and ripped apart, with teeth. It was rather unsettling.

Walking down the aisle of the ruined church, trying to avoid stepping on broken bibles even as light came through damaged and undamaged windows alike, it was rather creepy.

Heck, if this universe was actually The Walking Dead, a Walker would probably make things less creepy. At least she'd be focusing on it and not the......this.

The sound of glass breaking under her shoe snapped her attention: and a glance to the left had her too far from the window to really explain it by the torso and headless White Jessus.

In fact, now that she looked again, there was a lot of broken glass far too far from the window to really make sense for a Church.

Looking around rapidly for any sort of clue, she spotted something lying in the curved bottom (supposed to be the back) of a bench, something that did not belong.

Stepping on some more glass, Pinkie walked over to the purple and picked it up, revealing itself to be a glass flask of purple liquid.

The bottle was labeled, but it was in a script she could not read. The script......she had never seen it before, it wasn't made of Arabic or Chinese characters.

Pinkie briefly thought about throwing it on the ground, but she wasn't a glass expert and that wouldn't really solve anything and would probably just get glass in her knee.

The streets of Abandoned Town, Somewhere Appalachia continued to show nothing to indicate what had happened here.

Turkey, Squirrel, Goat, or Zombie Apocalypse, everything seemed utterly voiceless to answer what had happened here.

Perhaps nature had the answer. Maybe if she listened to the woods, they'd give her an answer.

She....had no idea what sound was. It wasn't like any bird that she had ever seen around any of Fluttershy's bird feeders....

The hairs on the back of Pinkie's neck stood up as some sort of inhuman shriek let loose through the forest, quickly joined by the sounds of at least a dozen others like it.

It made Coyote song sound angelic. Hell, it made Sunset's voice sound angelic. That sound just made her want to teleport to somewhere safe, like Detroit.

Did this universe have a Detroit though? More importantly, did she want to possibly have to overnight in an alternate version of Detroit if it meant staying here one more minute?

Another human, and someone who might know what happened to this place, and what that horrible yowling was from? Sure, a rather annoyed, angry sounding human, but she'd welcome even a jerk at this point.

Breaking into a run, Pinkie immediately zeroed in on the sound of the other person, eager to see any friendly or sort of friendly face.

Even if it was one of those creepy hill people with moonshine and beards longer than her hair, she was sure that the person would be at least approachable and friendly. And jerks...well, she'd never found one she couldn't befriend eventually...barring her old friends...and Sunset Shimmer...and that one guy who now has a restraining order against her...and his girlfriend...and her cousin. Maybe her track record wasn't as good as she thought?

Bounding through a ruined front yard, avoiding a wall of gnome statues, and vaunting over a brier patch Pinkie skidded into what she was pretty sure had been at one time or another a high school football field, complete with a collapsed scoreboard and bleachers.

The football lines were no longer visible though, and the grass was certainly no longer regulation height.

Her mystery human, a red head with sunstreaked hair, had her back to her. She was dressed oddly, familiarly actually.

Sure, the jacket was a bit more Indiana Jones/Nathan Drake than Principal, and the pants appeared to be jeans, but even muted the color was very similar to that of Principal Celestia's general getup, and her legs were unmistakable.

The hair was even the same style, if a different color. Then again, Celestia's hair color probably did not exist here, though she wasn't sure why it was red of all things.

The woman kicked at the ground and folded her arms. "Can't believe they followed me all the way out here..."

Pinkie tilted her head, the woman's voice oddly familiar to her. Well, no time like the present for surprise hello's!

"Helllooo!" Pinkie greeted with every ounce of her usual cheer and friendliness she could muster at the moment.

The figure tensed, and whirled her way. As she did, the Principal Celestianess became ever more clear.....at least until her face came into focus.

"Oh, a human? I didn't think any were still in these mountains this far south." The Principal Celestia redeco with Sunset Shimmer's face asked in astonishment.

"Um, miss? Is something wrong...." Sunlestia Shimmer asked in a concerned tone that did not sound right coming from Sunset's mouth.

"Oh, you wouldn't get how wrong this is!" Pinkie declared with sudden volume, pointing at the now baffled looking woman.

"......I didn't forget to wear cloths today, did I?" Sunlestia asked with a tone of honesty that suggested that could have been it. She patted herself as she herself checked that.

"No, not that. You, looking like Principal Celestia! That is wrong, wronger than I can even put into words Sunset!"

"Principal Celestia?" She seemed most baffled by the Principal part, before putting a thoughtful hand to her chin, "You know, that actually would work for her. Now, can we maybe have this talk somewhere else...." she darted her eyes nervously towards the forest, before darting back to her, "Wait, how exactly do you know my name?"

"Why wouldn't I know it!? At least this time you aren't Welsh, though a Welsh version of me, Pinkie Pie, is much weirder than a Welsh you...."

Pinkie nodded at the unspoken question, before she felt her body suddenly seize up, a blue aura surrounding her and binding her limbs.

She was pulled to Sunlestia's palm, which was covering her forehead. She was no looking her odd combination of friendly, confused, and worried, but this time she had an expression Pinkie had rarely seen.

She could think of a few times she had seen this sort of expression, in the eyes of people like Maud, Big Mac, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.

She figured that Celestia would have a similar expression, if she was dealing with someone who had hurt Vice-Principal Luna.

"So, I get to finally meet one of you. I must admit, you aren't quite looking like what I expected you to, and you are talking some odd nonsense, but I can finally have a nice little, chat, with you." She sounded angry with a hint of 'I will hurt you', but it sounded a lot different than what Sunset normally sounded like.

"I don't know what nonsense you put in my sister's head, but the way she'd acting is completely wrong! What the Tartarus did you put in my sister's head!?"

She felt an odd pressure on her head, as a blue tinted dome began to spread from her mind and surround the two.

Wait, was this her mind? Was Sunlestia's making her mind play around them like some sort of surround-screen IMAX movie?!

Sunset's 'Older Sibling Anger Mode' expression began to be replaced by one of confusion as the images played, before removing her palm. The viewings of her life ended, and she fell to the ground.

"....What are you......" Sunset asked in a shaken tone, "What in the name of Discord's Pantry are you!?"

"My name is Pinkie Pie, I thought I already said that." Pinkie repeated, as a horrible smell wafted through the abandoned sporting field.

It was like someone had taken the worst smelling things in nature, and put them in a blender with bark and raw deer meat.

"Horsefeathers." Sunset possibly swore, she wasn't quite sure about these alternate universe swear words.

"Um, Horses have feathers?" Pinkie felt the need to have the joke explained to her, as dark shaped began to form all around them. As they took shape, they were shown to be really large, and slightly humanoid.

The beings surrounding them were hairy, hairier than Big Mac could ever hope to be. They had giant feet. They were scowling at the both of them....and all of them had guns, sashes of ammunition, and what looked like massive tomahawks strapped to their backs that would make Cloud Strife envious.

She, and an alternate universe version of Sunset Shimmer who looked like Principal Celestia, were surrounded by armed Sasquatch.

"So........who are you friends? Let me guess, the one with the cool scar on his lips is Patterson, right?" Pinkie loudly asked as the scarred lip Sasquatch pointed at her in a way that just demanded an OBJECTION.

It took Pinkie's find 10 seconds to register that the voice that was deeper than Big Mac if he went through 3 more puberties, was not only female but came from the Sasquatch

"Wait, you can talk!?" Since when could Sasquatch talk?! Where was that part of the Patterson-Gimlin film?

Kälû growled at her, and several of the other Sasquatch exchanged looks. She didn't quite catch their faces, and what she did catch was kind of garbled for not being human, but she was getting a 'what a dumb human' vibe from it.

"Yes, we can in fact, talk. Did you think Humans, and their spawn, are the only creatures from this world who can talk?"

A thought came to her as she got a better look at the heavily armed not-Wookies.

"Wait, I've got it! All this time, I've thought that everyone one was killed by zombies or turkeys or squirrels or goats, but it really you guys! This place had a Bigfoot Apocalypse! It's so original, Hollywood really should get on it, and if not an aspiring author!"

The air was silent after her declaration. She noticed a few of the Sasquatch looking at their feet nervously, as if wondering if they really had that large pairs of feet.

"No.......I don't know what made you come to that conclusion, but we did not do this. We killed all the humans in the place your kind called California, and we're currently trying to kill off the Mormons." She muttered a word that Pinkie didn't quite catch, she suspected it was a Sasquatch term like 'God' or something, "Those humans are aggravating to kill, they just don't seem to die. Do you have a word for something that is supposed to be squishy and weak, but somehow won't just die?"

"Twinkies?" Pinkie impulsively stated, even as her eyes widened and mind raced with the fact the She-squatch just told her. The idea that everyone in California, 39 odd million people, were killed by Bigfoot. She had trouble grasping it.

"Yes, that works. Mormons are Human Twinkies, but no, we have not decimated any population centers in these mountains. Sure, we did kill a few hundred humans on the way here, but it's not like there were many left here in the Confederacy anyway-the rogue livestock handled the rest.

"Also, what was this Hollywood you mentioned?" Another Sasquatch scratched the top of his head, "I have never heard of that place."

So Hollywood didn't exist then? Was it a lesser figure in the multiverse than geese and Harry Potter and quite possibly twinkies?

"Enough! Human, whoever you are, you stand next to a vile criminal-the Two scented Sunset Shimmer! She dared to attempt to release the God of Destruction from its stone prison in the capital, and she must be punished for her attempt to sink the world further into the dark than it already is!"

"I was not trying to release that thing! Cerberus's nine balls, I am not that stupid! I thought that thing was something from my home: a being named Discord!" Sunset insisted as one might when denying murder. Again, Pinkie was struck by the odd curse word, and the oddly familiar name in Discord.

"Your intent is irrelevant. You will be punished." Kälû declared, before changing her glare's target from Sunlestia to Pinkie, "And you! Normally I'd kill you for the crime of humanity, but your provided a new term to describe those *****...." She again used a word that Pinkie did not know the meaning of but she suspected was not complementary, "......Mormons amused me. I will let you live, provided you tell all humans you find that the mountains of this continent are Sasquatch property. All humans will vacate them, or die. Spread this message, and you will not die by my hands."

"I don't know about that, Kälû" another Sasquatch offered his own two cents on the question of sparing her, "My sister was serving with the human eradication forces in the Northern Mountains. She spoke of the death of her commanding officer, Thymilph, to a human whom she described as looking a lot like this one here. The human blew up Thymilph with a punch, and now wears his foot like a trophy."

Okay.....the possible her apparently had some interesting fashion views. A Sasquatch foot keychain? She didn't think that would be approved by Rarity. Or Fluttershy. Or her for that matter.

She could sort of see Applejack or Rainbow with one, assuming Winnona did not eat it.

"Um, that wasn't me. I've never been Canada, at least I think you are talking about Canada because you certainly aren't taking about Mexico which I haven't been too either in case you were wondering, let alone blown anyone up with a punch. How do you even do that if you aren't bald? Oh, maybe it would help if I just introduce myself then: My name is Pinkie Pie!"

She said it with a big smile with the dearest hope the California destroying not actually cryptids would not hurt her.

Her smile faded when she noticed all of them were looking at her nervously, as if they expected her to suddenly lunge at them with a flamethrower (she'd say knife, but could you knife a Sasquatch? They were really hairy after all).

Hey! She did not eat that much.....and wasn't a coward......insert insult involving Goats here.

"One of the Six Criminals, second only to Celestia, in being feared by humanity and the singular destroyers of entire nations each, alongside Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle?" who and what!?

Sunlestia moved to speak, as if to possibly explain what the hell that meant, but a bullet fired from a Sasquatch that took a few hairs off the side of her head silenced her.

"I rescind my decision to spare you: your weapons may devastate humans, but your kind is no friend to Sasquatch kind either. We'll have to war when you finish with the Old World, but I see no reason to strike now. Die, Scourge of Croats and Buster of Budapest."

It all happened in seconds: Kälû clicked the trigger of her gun, Sunlestia moving to protect her, realizing that she was not either capable of blowing people up with fists, or....whatever the hell she just said she was.

She didn't like the odds, and she wanted to get out of here. Even Cleveland had to be better than this place.

And she didn't feel good leaving behind anyone to die by the hands of Sasquatch forces, even if they did look like Sunset Shimmer.

So she grabbed Sunset's hand, and teleported away, hoping she could take passengers.

The microsecond before the bullet fired, her theory was confirmed and She and Sunset vanished from Appalachia and it's militant Sasquatch S.A.S.

Or in this case: away from the armed Saquatch, and right smack back in the middle of a New York City Street with cars blaring at them.

Thankfully though, New York Drivers were also being held at bay by their natural enemy: the red light. So, they were at the moment, not roadkill.

"What is this place...." Sunset asked, her head darting around as if she had never seen this place before, or even been in a city this size.

"It's New York miss, it's the greatest city on Earth: if not before than certainly after that monster devastated all the rival cities for that spot." the answer in fact came from the bearded man she had met by the book truck. She also noted the Ice Cream Siblings on the opposite side of the street: the brother still at the handles of his little sister's wheelchair, and said adorable little sister waving at her in a friendly way.

"I mean really, of them all I am pretty sure only London and Berlin are in any acceptable state, and neither have long to live. But enough about that, you two really should get out of the street."

"Negative." A new voice stated, swearing come from the nearby car lanes suggesting that someone had extended the red light. From about there a woman appeared out of nowhere.

Pinkie realized with a start that she had probably just teleported over herself, and thus she could probably do it voluntarily.

The woman appeared Asian, and like everyone in this universe had dull coloration. Her skin was pale, to a point Pinkie wasn't quite sure the woman was even made of flesh. Her hair was dark, done in a bun with dark eyes hidden by a pair of smart looking spectacles.

Her dressing style could only be described with a single word: Secretary. That was all that was needed: she could describe her to even someone as unimaginative as Applejack and she could picture the cloths perfectly.

"The Theron Benevolence Society reserves the right to have every emerged Incarnate Human examined. Normally this is a fully voluntary decision....." the woman spoke in a cool, almost robotic voice. It certainly caught Sunset off guard, who looked she had never heard that tone of voice before.

"...Of course I do! I had my own little talk with you guys back in the day!" the bearded man who was apparently a member of this group responded. He sounded indignant about it, as if hurt she had not recognized him.

"...Kotetsu T. Kaburagi: third generation immigrant to the New England Federation from the Japanese Empire as part of the Benevolence Society's Potential Acquisition Operation and current member of the Tri-State Reserve Defense Force." the Secretary noted, as if reading off a file from her head, "You're knowledge of the Benevolence Society is acknowledged, but you are not the target of my statements. The unknown woman possessing Class 5 Incarnation: Teleportation, is the target of the reminding statement: detecting of faint Equestrian energy residue around her suggests long-term exposure to an Equestrian dominated area, likely suggesting she is ignorant of current measures."

....Then again, she had no idea where the mailing address to the Sloth Slough was, so maybe she had just been there.

"You will come with me to Benevolence Headquarters Tower: Manhattan 3rd tier, where you and your fellow will be debriefed and...." the robotic woman stopped, pausing as if she had just noticed something.

"I have scanned both of you fifty-six times, and my self diagnostic has concluded my sensors are not damaged-the Equestrian energy around you two is not residue: it is coming from inside you akin to an Incarnate Core."

The gathered crowds began to murmur incessantly. And it was not a good murmuring. Suddenly curious stares had become extremely fearful of them, or filled with hate and anger. She noticed the bearded man tense at her, as if expecting her to suddenly attack him, or to attack her before she could do the same to others. He was also, for some reason, glowing blue and looked a bit more muscular.

The wheelchair girl's eyes went wide with horror, like she was about to see something horrible happen again and she'd be the cause of it. Her brother made a move to comfort her, while his eyes were glaring at her with a hatred that was like they held everyone back home's view of Sunset Shimmer (the not Celestia-like one), but upped to 15.

Pinkie's eyes dilated to pin pricks and her heart froze as the woman's eyes glowed red, even as she looked at her with decidedly more emotion in her eyes than she'd had a few moments ago, and Pinkie, if she'd been more cognizant and not frozen in fear, could have sworn her eyes were glowing, but it might have been her imagination.

"You two are not human. You two are not a human-derivated sentient. You two are not natives of this world. You are the enemies of humanity, disguised as us. You are to be terminated, as part of the terms of the war between the nations of Earth and those of Equestria!"

The last part was said with a palpable loathing. The secretary then adjusted her spectacles, in doing so unleashing laser vision!?

Sunset quickly made a move to form some sort of blue energy shield to block it, but the lasers continued to fly through.

Kotetsu the beaded glowing man lunged at them, looking like he was going to punch them.

Not wanting to deal with that, Pinkie quickly grabbed Sunlestia and teleported away

....
The two landed in a heap somewhere officey, at least if the knocked over cubicle was of any indication.

Though the cubicle wasn't the normal dull gray color, but a more dull yellow one. Did they come in different dull colors, or was that a 'this universe' thing.

"What the Hershey was that about!? I am very human, and I am certainly of Earth, or at least some Earth........"

"Yes, yes you are: it's your powers that aren't." Sunlestia steadied herself up with the aide of a cubicle that had not fallen over....until it did so, revealing a smiling cartoon logo catfish with captions.

NEW ENGLAND AQUACULTURE ASSOCIATION
(Formerly the American Fish Culture Company)

ECO-FRIENDLY, SUSTAINABLE, AFFORDABLE, DELICIOUS AQUACULTURE PRODUCTION FOR NEW ENGLAND

HUDSON, HOUSATONIC, THAMES, CONNECTICUT, DELAWARE AND MORE

"....Bah, I forgot humans were omnivores." Sunset muttered to herself, looking a bit green. The words ticked in Pinkie's head to the beat of the Gar shaped clock in the corner, before she exploded.

"Wait, YOU'RE an alien! But wait, you don't have a large head, or a glowing finger, or a bizarre word arrangement, and you have yet to say 'this makes me very angry'!"

"......Why would I be any of those things?" Sunlestia asked in an exasperated tone.

"No. Aliens sing and dance and learn about morality just like humans do." Sunset deadpanned, "We don't.....do whatever it is you suggested we do."

"So, do you have a spaceship with lasers and warp drives and red shirts and robot butlers with built in cupholders? Because all aliens have..."

"Uh... I've never worn a ring, period, nevertheless an 'energy construct ring'. I know some others back home who liked regular rings, but it was never really my thing, it's humans who went crazy with them."

"Before I got stuck in this body, I ate grass 4 times a week; twice on Wednesday."

"My race, and I reiterate that last part because I am not sure that they even exist in your reality, are known as Equestrians. Yes, the are the ones who the people here hate, as well as the Sasquatch. And the have good reason to hate them, though I cannot explain why my kind are acting this way. It's as if....in the last 10 years they have all gone mad."

Sunset's face twisted into a grimace of confusion and some phantom pain. It kind of reminded Pinkie of those televised shots of the parents of serial killers on trial wondering why little Jimmy cut up people.

Pinkie moved to pass on kind and heartlfiting words, if the secretary didn't pop up in between them with eyes glowing so red you'd think she was about to shoot Omega Beams.

"Enemies located: commencing termination." she promptly fired the not-Omega-Beams-but-still-probably-painful lasers right at her.

Two glowing cubicles then slammed into her, probably the doing of Sunset. However, a dual pair of energy shields formed on either side, preventing the impact from striking doom secretary mark something.

"Oh yeah, tell that to my teleporting! I may not be able to make myself go to the exact place I want to go, but I can still make me go far! Now, see you in CHINA!" grabbing Sunset, Pinkie teleported, hopefully to China.

She felt like she hit her head against something, like the top of a funhouse. Not painful, never ever, but still noticeable.

Pinkie then landed butt first in someone's traditional dish in a Chinatown restaurant.

The intended consumer of said dish was making strange hand gestures and facial expressions at her. It wasn't rude, it was more a 'what in Hades Hickory Handbaskets just happened' sort of way.

She had seen it many times when she first met people, including three of her own aunts and four uncles.

Priorities took hold, Pinkie immediately reached behind her and immediately through some salt over her shoulder.

Another teleportation round, another feeling like she was hitting the top of the bounce house again.

This time the two landed in the middle of a grassy field adorned with chalk lines, sand mounds, and littered with famous symbols.
"Yankee Stadium?" Pinkie stated similarly to how the term as one one would say when forced to describe 'Mussolini's sock drawer'.

Sunset looked up and over the stadium, seeing buildings and tiers and none the less the exact same New York City.
"Shouldn't we have gotten out of this place by now?"

"I'm just amazed we didn't end up smack in the middle of a game: that's is how this gag usually works." Pinkie noted the lack of pitchers and drunken fans. "Okay, this time I'll try and think of somewhere definitely not New York, and go there. Say, have you ever parked your car in Harvard Yard?"

"Uh, why did you just talk in that strange..." Sunset questioned before Pinkie grabbed her and teleported to the polar opposite of Yankee stadium.

She once again landed on someone's eating table, though this time she just catapulted what looked like tortellini into the air and hit a waiter in the face with it.

As the poor guy ran around, screaming in Italian she found a old man dressed in shabby clothing looking at her incredulously, before sniffing her.

Sunset regained her footing, before looking around in confusion, "Um, this is the opposite of Yankee Stadium?"

"....I was trying for Boston...Boston is a thing here right?" Pinkie admitted as the old man stood from his seat dramatically, and with more vigor than she expected in an old person.

"Hmmm, so the Anti-Teleportation Net is active huh.....I thought I smelled something weird." he growled, even as he sniffed her again.

Would backing away dramatically be a good idea, or would that just make him get to the likely end result of trying to hurt her faster?

".....Your smell,I will always remember that damn scent...the scent of the one who killed King Romulus. Pinkie Pie...." the old man said as he began to... bulk out?"

His muscles began to rapidly grow, like he was about to start a really long scream and blasting fest with glowing blond hair and final forms. However, as he got larger his body began to grow hairier.

Darting over the upturned table, she didn't see what was going on with the old man now, even as she reached to get her and Sunset out of here. But she did hear him.

"I am Canus Dire. Tell me, do you remember me?" Canus stretched out a hand and flexed his arm, corded muscles already doubled in size even as his bones twisted and audibly broke and reformed, transforming into a vicious look set of claws."

Heheh, I guess it doesn't really matter if you remember me, but I I certainly remember you. I bet you had fun destroying what little we werewolves had, obliterating my race's last true hope with the royal family while you were having your fun wiping out Greece." With lightning reflexes, he literally backhanded the table in front of her out and through the restaurant's window with a resounding crash.

"You know, I remember hearing you were obsessed with "fun", huh? Well, let me tell you, this is going to be fun!" With that, he howled, practically doubling in size instantly and fur growing to cover his massive body in seconds as he completed his transformation.

When a Werewolf declared his desire to get vengeance on you, there was only one option....

The two were now surrounded by a flock of hissing Canada Geese in the middle of Central Park.

Well, at least this was just normal behavior. And a vast improvement over the angry werewolf.

"Like I said, you cannot escape." Doom Secretary told them as she appeared behind the army of geese. "Canus Dire's statement to you was quite correct. Your teleportation is blocked the moment you try and leave New York City. All you're doing is wasting your inefficiently used energy."

"Yeah, yeah, everyone says I don't use my energy properly. Tell me something the educators and my father haven't." Pinkie snarked. The secretary moved to attack, but a goose hissed at her causing her to pause.

"Error." She stated, before leaving via a teleportation. Still surrounded, Pinkie shrugged,

"If you are saying 'that is her weakness', I don't think that is the case." Sunlestia observed.

She was proven correct when she returned with a brown haired man in a jean jacket and khakis. The man probably had a shirt too, but the jacket was buttoned up.

"Disperse." He declared. The geese immediately stopped their hiss off and waddled away, leaving the four of them to battle.

"There, you will no longer be at risk for violating the Indigenous Animal Protection Act....now I have places to be. The Central Park Zoo recently obtained a breeding pair of Appalachian Ground Sloths and I have to make sure they are comfortable with their habitats. Leader of the New England Zoological Society and all....." he looked at Pinkie, scrutinizing her a bit, "Now, try not to render anything extinct today, would you miss Pie?"

As he wandered off from the building fight scene, Pinkie wondered what crime she wasn't going to be accused of today.

She made a move to teleport away, but before she could she found herself in a glowing energy cage, by Sunset.

"It's not worth it if you keep teleporting us around: we need to take her out first if we want to have any hope of peace."

"The entire Benevolence Society has been warned of you, you will have no peace until you are put down." the Secretary declared before she fired laser vision.

With glowing hands Sunset blocked it, before throwing a energy sphere at the secretary.

"If that is what you think, you are mistaken. Then again, you're kind made the mistake of thinking they could destroy New England."

Lasers collided with energy blasts, as the two began to compete with who is the more powerful laser person.

The match lasted 20 seconds, Pinkie counted, before Sunset overpowered the secretary and blasted her across the water behind them, startling a few Geese before landing on the other side.

"Impressive." Pinkie stated as Sunset waved her cage away. A frown soon came upon the freed girl's face.

"She's still alive. Killing is more of a human thing after all...no offense." Sunset added the last part a few seconds after, "I've had a few centuries of practice to ensure that I will never take a life with my power."

"I'm a mammal." Sunset stated in a deadpan tone that was so dead that it could revive the dead.

This may not be the world of the Walking Dead (where the living are more dangerous), but after the Werewolf nothing would surprise her.

"You know, I've just had the best idea!" Pinkie declared, even as Sunset looked at her like she was expecting her to suggest solving their problems by overpowering reality's limitations with their femininity and a drill.

"Which means this place has sewers, filled with miles of piping that can hide ninjas!"

"....I have no idea what a Ninja is, but sure. That does make sense." Sunset still wasn't sure what Pinkie was getting at.

"So, if we can't teleport out of the city, we teleport into it's underbelly, and hide there until we can figure out a way out of here!"

Sunset's answer came upon the two entering a large, probably impractically so, tunnel with two concrete sidewalks and a single central river of questionable fluid.

"Humans....actually make these disgusting, nauseating...." Sunset was continuing to make odd gagging noises.

"Sure: it's hygienic. Sewers move human waste out of cities in a concentrated and expediant way as to limit the spread of disease. Without them cities would never have grown as large, as clean, or as important. Don't you have sewers on your planet?"

"Oh.....well your cities must be filthy and ridden with space cholera." Pinkie stated that last one as Sunset glared at the wall of the sewer like it was her only hope.

Sunset promptly cast Bombarada; or at least she would have if she was Harry Potter, give or take the Nathan Drake. The sewer sidewalk promptly got a new gaping hole, no tax money required.

Sunset promptly started making her way towards the hole, eager to get as far away from the sewer as possible.....

"Wait a minute, can't you use use some sort of bubble to make the air around you clear, or even just make the air down here smell better all together."

Sunlestia froze in her tracks, and promptly slapped herself for not thinking about that and defaulting to explosions.

However before she could rectify her oversight, the bombed out hole cracked open larger, and promptly turned into a massive sinkhole.

Could she try and teleport while doing this, or would that just make things worse?

If she died, was God the same across all timelines, or did each universe have it's own God?

What if this hole led to Hell? Would the Devil argue with the Devil and God and God over her?

These questions were interesting: if she ever met a priest who liked to expand the canon she'd have to ask him.

Suddenly blue light shot through the darkness, and from nothing, came a royal looking mattress.

She promptly hit it, and after recovering from the shock (ow....), she still couldn't see Sunset, even if the mattress had to be her doing.

"Okay.....where are you? Please touch me in a non-sexual way if possible so I can get us out of here. I mean, sure, this hole is probably a good place to hide, but I'd get bored very quickly, and when I get bored I start singing and....."

A voice rang through the earth, a voice deeper and more menacing than any Pinkie had ever heard. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, and then stood up some more beyond standing up in fear.

A glowing hand a bit away from her revealed Sunlestia, who too looked like she was freaking out.

I don't see why I should. This is perfectly fine

The top of the pit began to shake, even as purple took the role of black in the pit.

The earth up top turned into purple crystal. Something in Pinkie's stomach churned at seeing the crystal, and her head just felt...off, in a decidedly not-good way. It began to slink on down, like oil running spreading in a puddle.

As the light of the purple crystals got closer, Sunset's glowing hand began to lose it's intensity. Her face began to sweat, as if merely being down here was like being an creepy sauna.

"Sunset!" Pinkie cried out, and under other circumstance, would have been astonished for the level of concern she felt for a Sunset Shimmer as the purple crystals reached the pit's bottom.

So, an Order creature has come before me. The fact she still breaths is remarkable. Then again, she has a nice chaos casing. Tell me your name

"P...Pinkie Pie, your scary cavvy-ness. Um, so what's your name? You haven't given it."

My name? A lowly creature asks me for my name? Very well, though I will state it only once. My name is....

The pit promptly spoke in an ancient language that she could never have repeated with her own tongue. Oddly she detected a hint of techno in it.

"Um, I didn't get any of that. Can I call you something that's a snazzy Undertale reference instead?"

I am an ancient being, older than creation itself. I am a being strung across universes, a part of me existing in every timeline at this exact moment, yet not. I am an individual segment of a larger grand whole, unique but the same.

"Oh..." Pinkie nodded, even on the inside she screamed that made no sense at all.

I exist in the core of this planet, which formed around my sleeping self. I exist in your own universe traveler, and yes I know of your origins just by your presence here, though I know not if I am your world, or I dwell outside of it.

Please don't exist in the center of my planet. I like my Earth minus Cthulhu in it.

I have been stirred by the arrival of the tainted Order upon me. It irritates me. Should it spread far, I will destroy it.

And awaken, shaking off the dust that has covered me for eons.

However, I am content to wait unless that Order irritant comes to this location. Humanity here has fought many more wars of cruelty and violence than your own world did, and the chaos is delicious. The chaos of this world fueled myself in 5 alternate timelines, to meet my goals. In one such world, myself met a Pinkie Pie. She had a fondness for cupcakes that was most unusual.

Okay....a version of her liked cupcakes so much it impressed a scary cave entity. Neat......

Though she wondered what a cave entity's goals were? She doubted it was harmless bat collecting.

I see: you are tainted by the powers of Order. You cannot stand me for long, though not as much as one born to Order. Tell me, would you like to go home? I can help you with that.

A glowing orange light formed in front of her, somehow clear even with the spinning room.

Bear this symbol apon yourself, marked upon your very body, and become my herald. You will gain access to all that is with no drawbacks. Your powers as they stand are weak and glitched. With my power, nothing will be beyond you.

"Yeah....my Granny Pie told me to never take offers or get tattoos from scary caves, so gotta go, by!"

Grabbing Sunlestia after tripping in the dizzy cavern, she teleported them out even as the cave entity growled in primal rage.

This is not the last we will meet. And the myself you meet, will not so be generous

Equestria Girls: The Empowered World

by KrspaceT

Annual #1: Pinkie in Manhattan(?)