Twilight paced back and forth, her mind a whirlwind of worry, anxiety and excitement. Today was the day for her and Castus' usual Scholastic meeting, but more importantly it would be one when they were here in the castle.
Alone.
Starlight usually joined them, but she was visiting Sunburst. And probably a whole lot more. Spike was also away, seeing a Hoofball game with Big Mac. All save for the fact that she had to take care of any refreshments, nothing she couldn't handle, this day was a day she had grown to fear coming and now it was right before her.
She would be alone. Right here. In her home. With Castus! The excitement and nervousness she felt, made her stomach twist and clench up in a way that was beginning to make her feel ill.
'M-maybe I should cancel. No, what if he had set aside something important for this meeting, I can't just cancel it now. But maybe-' Twilight groaned, holding her head as she tried to figure out how to proceed.
It was not that she did not want to see Castus. These meetings were so informative, and she found his presence both comforting and warm. But that was the problem. Since her realizations of her own thoughts and desires, the thought of being around Castus now only made her feel uncomfortable.
What if she did something stupid? What would he think of her? Why did she care so much about what he thought of her!?
"Aggh, Stop it!" Twilight shouted, "I can't be feeling these things. He belongs to Fluttershy, and she doesn't deserve to have me just coming in and demanding to have the one person who makes her happy! I'm her friend for Celestia's sake!"
Twilight facehoofed and sighed, trying to get herself to calm down.
"Okay, just calm down," She said, breathing in and then out as she extended a hoof as Cadence showed her, "just breathe. Now, this is just an ordinary meeting between two friends and fellow minded scholars. There is nothing romantic or otherwise about it. None."
Feeling calm once more, Twilight looked at the clock and realized that for all her worrying she had not yet fully dressed herself. Or even taken a shower. Luckily, Castus would not be here for another hour, and she quickly went to the bathroom first to wash up. And the hot water would help her to relax and clear her head up.
Once she was cleaned and her mane and tail brushed, Twilight then went back to her room to choose something to wear. All the while, telling herself once more that this was just a meeting between friends. Nothing more.
Even if she wanted it to be. NO! No, she would not go there.
"Come on Twi, just focus on what to wear." She said, as she rummaged through her drawers and closet.
But as she did, she came to a conclusion. She did not have much variety in her wardrobe. All her clothes were largely the same. Long skirts that ended just at the knee. Pants and white button up shirts. Some sweaters. She had the gowns that Rarity had made her. But unlike her fashionista friend, Twilight realized that she had largely worn almost the same thing her whole life.
A sudden feeling that it would not do. Not today of all days. She scowled as she started digging, pushing shirts and dresses aside as she looked. Today required that she looked exceptional.
'No, no I don't. I can look just like I always do. Castus wouldn't care what I wore.' Twilight thought, even as she kept looking, 'Would he?'
Would Castus judge her by her appearance? She knew that he would never do such a thing as shallow as that. But she did know that appearances were the first phase in any minor judgment of a pony's character. And if she was always wearing the same thing, what did that say about her to him? Did he find it....boring?
No, no she was not boring! She was smart and intellectual. And she knew for a fact that she was cute. Not to mention she was a princess. A cute, smart princess. What could possibly be boring about her?!
But was she sexy? A voice in the back of her mind seemed to say. And Twilight paused in her search for clothes.
'Wh-why would I care if I'm sexy all of a sudden?!' Twilight thought, feeling foolish. Never the less she looked up at her mirror and traced her hooves down her naked form, over her breasts and down her hips.
Well, she wasn't exactly the most fit. Well, she was not fat, but she figured that in comparison to Rainbow Dash or Applejack she did not compare. They were both athletic and more in shape then she was. Still she could not help but grip her stomach and sides, and worry.
Her breasts weren't exactly much to look at either. While she was certainly not almost flat like Rainbow Dash, she did not come close to the others. Especially not to Fluttershy or Rarity, both whom had well endowed figures, yet not overly so as too seem ridiculous. Though she thought such a thing unimportant to the larger picture of finding somepony special, she could not deny that it helped in attracting prospective glances.
Her flank was not much to look at. If anything, Pinkie Pie won out in that category before any of them. Even with her diet, she somehow managed to keep her body between plump and yet sexy. How she did it, Twilight could only guess and now that she thought about it she wanted to find out.
With all this, did she stand out as sexy among her friends or to others when they saw her?
She knew that Castus found Fluttershy sexy. He probably would stare at her with desiring eyes every morning, every movement of her form sending pulsing waves of lust and desire through his mind and body. Then when he couldn't handle it anymore, he would take her in his arms, pressing her form against the wall and himself against her in a deep passionate embrace of two beings and then-
"AGHH! No!" Twilight shouted, throwing her hooves out and ripping the shirt she held in them in half, trying to banish the images out of her mind. And finding it impossible to do.
She growled, tossing the torn up shirt aside and dug further, looking for something to wear. She would not let her mind betray her again. She was a calm collected princess and an alicorn. She was a scholar with at least several awards for academia and nominated thrice for advances in the magical and scientific field. She had won every science fair back in school and was now a mentor of her own student.
She was successful. Intelligent and she could do sexy just like everypony else!
She could do it better!
The knocking on the door into the study, where Twilight waited in a chair, told her that Castus had arrived. While he had no doubt just let himself into the castle, she found it rather charming that he would so politely knock on this door. She found it cute.
"Come in." Twilight said, moving in her seat.
"Hey Twilight, so wha-ahhh! Is this a bad time!?" Castus shouted, as he came in. He stared at her with wide eyes, before quickly looking away at the ceiling.
"What are you talking about? And what is up with you?" Twilight asked, getting up from her chair.
"I-I just, this is the day we meet right?" Castus asked, looking at her slightly. His face seemed to get red before looking away again.
"Of course. Why?" Twilight asked.
"Uh well, its just...uh....well why are you wearing that?" Castus asked, peeking again.
Twilight blinked, what did he mean by that? She was wearing what she always-Sweet Celestia!
Twilight felt her heart stop as she looked down and realized what she wore. Instead of her usual clothes, she found that she wore instead a pair of purple underwear, only these were thin stringed and almost hardly covering. On top of that she wore an almost transparent nightgown. She had completely forgotten she even had this.
Twilight screamed, and threw her hooves around her chest and lower regions to cover herself. Castus screamed too.
"Uh, m-maybe I should go. Um, come back another time." He stammered, taking a step back.
Twilight gasped, and grabbed Castus shirt and yanked him in, "No!" she pulled him into the room, and right up to her. Her chest pressing up against his, her nose pressing up against his. Eyes locked right on each other.
Twilight screamed a few moments later, and threw Castus behind her.
Castus screamed, before hitting a wall and sliding down onto the floor. Twilight gasped and ran over.
"I-I'm sorry! Sorry!" She stammered, before realizing she was still indecent.
"I-I, just stay here!" She shouted, before teleporting away.
Castus just laid there, eyes spinning, as he groaned.
"Ugh, what just happened?" He asked.
A few moments later, Twilight teleported back. Her mane was slightly a mess. But she was wearing normal clothes now. Her body was now covered by a simple buttoned up purple shirt, thought it was slightly misbuttoned and she was in the process of trying to fix it. She wore skirt now, thought it was on backwards.
"S-sorry. Sorry I-I uh...just forget about what you saw!" Twilight shouted, face flushed with embarrassment.
Oh stupid! Stupid! Stupid! she thought to herself. How could she do something so stupid!
"Ugh, Wh-o-okay? Just don't throw me again." Castus said, rubbing his head.
Twilight came over, "S-sorry. I-I was...uh- anyway!" She pushed him into a chair and sat in her own, "Uh what were we discussing last week?"
After awhile into the meeting, it seemed to Twilight that the beginning embarrassment had been quickly forgotten. Castus seemed to be back to his normal self, as he talked and wrote on the blackboard a magical theory. Twilight found this both comforting and yet irritating.
'He could at least have said something. Or at least maybe make a glance to me.' Twilight thought, before shaking her head, 'No. No. This is good. That was simply embarrassing.'
As Twilight listened, she stood up and walked over.
"But if the energy flows this way, and the circle of runes is placed in this design with an equation of transference like this, wouldn't we get a similar or greater force of power?" She asked, as she took the chalk from Castus' hand and wrote on the blackboard.
"Uh, y-yes. Um Twilight?" Castus stammered.
"Yes?" Twilight asked, looking at him.
"Why are you leaning against me like that?" Castus asked.
Twilight blinked, and stepped back with a blush as she realized that she had been leaning herself against Castus back, her form pressed against his back while she had been writing.
"I-I-Uh, no reason!" Twilight stammered, looking away. Stupid, stupid! he wouldn't buy that!
"Um...o-okay." Castus said, confused, "Well uh...now that I look at it, I think your equation does have some insight I didn't see. But we should take into account-" Castus went on as he explained, but Twilight was ignoring him now.
'He just went on? Not even a word?" Twilight thought, feeling surprised yet at the same time angry. And even angrier when she realized she was getting angry with his lack of mention.
Twilight sighed, and steeled herself for a long day.
And so it went. Everytime Twilight felt she had herself under control, she found herself doing something else that was simply stupid. Casually brushing her hoof across Castus' hand. Leaning against his back, pressing her chest against him. All the while lecturing herself and telling herself to stop and taking her concentration away from the discussion or even own movements. One time, she was so deeply engaged in lecturing herself for doing something stupid that she had tried and plowed right into Castus and sending them both down to the ground, with her right on top of him.
'Oh, now he must think me a klutz.' She thought, embarrassed.
By the time it was time to part ways, Twilight felt firmly sure she had not only made herself an idiot, but had probably freaked Castus out so much he would never come back. She had prepared herself to hear him say that this would probably be their last meeting.
"So, uh...same time next week?" Castus asked as he opened the door to leave.
"Huh?" Twilight said, looking at him in surprise.
"Well?" He asked, looking at her questioningly.
"Oh, Uh...sure. Yeah." Twilight said, "Always."
"Good. I should be free that day unless something comes up. See you later then Twilight." Castus said, giving a wave goodbye.
Twilight stood there, watching as Castus left.
"Um bye." She said, even after he had left.
Twilight flopped down into her chair and sighed, rubbing her head as she felt a headache come on. Despite this, she could not help but smile. She would still get to see him and they could still keep having these discussions. She had worried she had ruined one of the few things in life she had come to enjoy more then anything else.
But never the less she knew she could not keep going as she was. She needed to deal with these feelings and banish them. But how?
"Um, I wonder if there is any books on dating?" Twilight asked herself.
Castus stood in the shower, using the Wind to make the cold water even more cold. He was probably risking hypothermia, but he wanted to cool himself off completely.
'Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Buddha.' He thought, 'I'm so glad we weren't using magic for experiments this day. I don't think I could have trusted myself if the Wind was in my body.'
The downside of the Wind was that it amplified peoples sensations of the world, and its primal powers seemed to affect peoples more baser instincts. And they way that Castus had been feeling the whole meeting, he didn't trust himself to keep control even with nearly nine hundred years of previous past life experience.
'God, why am I thinking about this. This is like cheating in the brain!' Castus thought.
He loved Fluttershy. Till death he would, but after today he also felt stirrings. And even as the cold water washed his form, his mind was starting to get ideas. Depraved and debauched ideas.
And most of them were centered around a cute little librarian princess.
'Gah, stop this. I will never betray Fluttershy's trust like that.' he thought, though the idea of maybe getting her involved as well starting conjuring up other images now.
'God,' Castus thought, finally letting the Wind go and stepping out of the shower. He noticed his lips had turned blue, and he was shivering a lot, but he could not think on it as clearly as he should.
'What do I do?' Castus thought. He worried of what the future would hold as he was starting to feel...attracted.
He could only hope that this was a one time thing. Yeah, that was it. Just a momentary slip of judgment. It wasn't his fault, she was practically throwing herself in his direction. Why, he didn't know. Was she doing some experiment? Twilight could often do strange things when she did experiments.
Yeah that was it. That had to be it.
Right?