//------------------------------// // Part 4: Celestia's rap force // Story: Pony Rap Battle // by Askfoxxy //------------------------------// Princess Celestia conjured her royal microphone, but then, Shining Armour stepped in front of her. "Hold up Princess, I got this, no need to worry, Cause I spit fire, like I just ate curry! Alright baddies, step out of your egos, and come and listen, They call me Shining Armour, best in the land, no competition. You think you stand tall, you’re gonna fall like a poorly built tower, I shielded all of Canterlot, using only a fraction of my power! You’ll wear yourself out trying to harm me, your body can’t take it, I’m wearing unbreakable armour, compared to that, you’re butt naked. Go ahead and shit talk, I’ll break your unicorn horn 2 spots, Then you can get shot, get buried, and wait as your body rots. You villains get so annoying, like foot blisters, I don’t have time for this shit, I’ll just send my little sister! I’m shining light down, making you villains nervous, Oppose the princess and you’ll have to deal with her secret service." Then Mare Do Well jumped from a rooftop. "It’s the shadow mare, evil doers, be afraid, I save so much lives, I’m like a one pony brigade If I catch you corrupting something, you're probably less than nothing. My stare of truth can see through all the lies you’re bluffing. Justice and Democracy, Supported and Enforced by me, I’ll read your mind like an open book about psychology. I fight for the weak, promote equality, My name is like a legend in pony mythology. I unlock the cages of imprisonment, to set the oppressed free, My rhymes will blow your mind, not just lyrically but spiritually. I’m a pony that you won’t ever outshine, I knock baddies out cold, just using my hard rhymes! Villains can’t compare to me so don’t even try, The number of people I’ve helped, is somewhere close to places in Pi." Zecora ran in from the Everfree Forest, brandishing her tribal mic. "Silly fools, can’t you see, or are your ears blind, I’m a professional rapper, all I do is speak in rhymes. An odd pony, nah, that’s were you foals are wrong, I’m a fucking Zebra, from a native land, where only the hardcore belong! You wish you were as wise as me, but I’m just blessed, Your tiny brain can’t even handle the skills that I possess. Dont you know that my flows got perfect motion, I’ll cut you into little pieces and make you into a potion. So just relax and lose, against me you can’t fight, I’ll dominate you, like a city vs. the paraspirtes. Lyrically, I've more variety the royal garden florally, So don’t mess with me, or you’ll see, The only time you win, is in your dreams. So Beware Beware, You pony folk, These nasty rhymes are not a joke." Finally, Celestia started to spit MAD AS FUCK RHYMES FROM THE ROYAL LIBRARY OF AWESOMENESS! "Ruler of the land, you can’t compare to me I’m more of a fucking gem than that bitch Rarity. Explicitly As you can see I’m not obsolete Cuz all of these bronies want to flock to me. Illuminate your petty lives, outshined by none, The rest of you are specs, when compared to the sun. When you see me comin, all of you better run Or my heat will cook you up like a cinnamon bun. All across the land my brilliance is shown. The rhymes that I’m bringin will leave your mind blown. And petrify you like you were made of stone. Owned Look at you, your rhymes are all strewn Now shut your mouth before I send you to the moon." Celestia dropped the mic as the Villains were all instantly sent to the moon. Fucking Noobs.