Both the changeling and the human looked expectantly at Surprise, who in turn looked a little nervous, “Uh… any minute now?”
“Hey, what are you three doing back there?!?!” a trio of angry looking guards appeared at the mouth of the alley, when one of them pointed at the falle lunar pegasus, “What did you do to Captain Watch!?”
“Uh… she was like this when we found her?” Ki offered his most clever cover story, as seven idly kicked the mare while she was down, whistling innocently.
“Get th…”
And reality washed away and the alley, and the city itself was smouldering ruins. All around them ponies lay drained of their magic, many dead, many more dying. In the distance fires and explosions erupted on the horizon as Tirek rampaged.
“Tirek then, don’t worry Tirek is a ways off,” Ki took in the scene around him, “I don’t think this one lasts very…”
Again reality melted away into perhaps the silliest scene thus far.
“You made it!” Discord popped in front of them with a smile, “I knew you crazy kids could do it!”
“Pinkie Pie#7 knows better than to trust the goat snake!” Seven proclaimed, moving between her friends and the draconequus.
“Wanna bop Celestia with a squeaky mallet?” the lord of chaos offered said mallet, instantly prompting the changeling to squee with delight as she chased the humiliated alicorn princess.
“Now that we have a moment,” Discord grinned at the human, “What are you doing back in that monkey suit?”
“Back to being a big old meanie pants I see,” Surprise scowled at Discord.
“And Greenie Pie! Well this IS a day of surprises,” Discord winked, “Relax, it’s all gonna be back to normal, no harm, no foul once the two Star Butts kiss and makeup. Now, I was talking to my chaotic monkey friend if you don’t mind. What kind of plague-inspired chaos ponie do you want to be? They come in three flavors: Big, strong hydra-ponies, flying, firebreathing dragon ponies, and tentacled magic stealing tazzle ponies?”
“What the hell is a tazzle-ponie?” The human asked in honest confusion.
“Doesn’t matter, I already did that one,” Discord snapped his talons, encasing the human in a chrysalis of cotton candy.
“Technically that IS the term for that,” Seven popped up and proclaimed brightly.
“Not just a changeling queen,” Surprise agreed sagely.
“Besides I’m not about to be outdone by that smelly old bearded hippy of a pony,” Discord grinned, “Behold, the three headed flying tazzle-corn!”
The cocoon shattered and the two Pinkies were only a little disappointed that they didn’t get to do the chrysalis joke again (“That’s still the appropriate term,” Surprise muttered). But they’re disappointment was short lived as a monstrous mockery of a pony stood in the place of their former human friend.
“This,” spoke the unicorn head on the right.
“Must be,” the dragon head on the left complained.
“A tuesday thing aauh, “ the bulky head in the middle was interrupted as his lower jaw bisected and three tentacles erupted forth, each themselves possessing their own jaws filled with needle-like teeth.”
Surprise recoiled in horror, while Seven bounced right up and began nuzzling the tentacles, cheerfully exclaiming, “He comes with puppies!”
“You kids have fun, now, you’re almost there!” the Master of Disharmony gave a friendly wave as the world once again reformed.
Ki cheerfully jumped in front of the Flim Flam Brother’s Seuss-like clear cutting machine and boldly exclaimed, “I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees!”
And then as suddenly as they had arrived that time too was gone and the trio found themselves… nowhere. Equestria was simply a blasted wasteland. Nothing stirred but the arid winds. Nothing lived at all, except one little changeling filly, pocked so fully with the holes of corruption that it seemed impossible that she could stand at all. And yet there she stood, staring at the empty lifeless wasteland around her, laughing maniacally.
“I showed them! I showed them all,” the filly laughed, tears welling in her eyes, “You wanna take my sister, you wanna let my friend die? I’ll just kill your stupid ‘friendship tree’! What do you stupid ponies think of that? Not much fun when everypony you care about is gone, is it? IS IT!?!?! Somepony answer me! Anypony…”
“Swing Shift?” Seven took a slow step forward, “Is that you? Is that really you?”
The filly turned in horror, “Sw- Switch Shift? No! Don’t look at me! I- I’m a monster! DON’T LOOK AT ME!”
The older changeling rushed forward and wrapped the filly in a warm embrace, “It is you! You’re alive!”
“You wanted what you lost returned,” a new voice bleated from behind them as the Blind Goat came forward, “You paid your price. In this timeline, the Elements of harmony were still united. All the evils of Equestria were thwarted, only to fall victim to the revenge of an angry foal who lost first her sister, and then her comatose friend who she never really even met.”
“Wait,” Swing Shift stammered, “Does that mean…”
The goat gestured to the monstrous three headed pony, “You opened a path that led through hell. To walk it, you became a monster. Some of those who walked the path to meet you here were altered as well.”
“Uh...hi?” the three-headed pony who was once Ki the human smiled awkwardly from each face, “I’m Ki. I was a soldier in the war against Sombra, which I guess never really happened… I uh, helped to bring you your sister back.”
”B-but…” the filly stuttered in confusion, “I thought you were a human?”
“I was.. But uh.. Discord happened,” the monstrous pony rubbed the back of his dragon head with one hoof.
“We find our friends,” Surprise found her eyes to be misted with liquid happiness, “Sometimes we don’t remember each other. Sometimes we change. But we find our friends.”
“Indeed we do Miss Pie,” the blind goat agreed, “Indeed we do. I’m only sorry I couldn’t offer you more than the dubious wisdom of a nearsighted goat by way of reward.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, you sly charmer,” the green party pony smiled happily, “I brought three smiles back that were lost to the world. What more reward could a former element of laughter ask for?”
And the world melted one last time, and the five found themselves in the downstairs bar in The Belfry.
“So what happens now?” Ki’s three head asked in triphonic stereo.