//------------------------------// // The Interview // Story: Trixie Gets Part-Time Wages With Full-Time Hours // by FamousLastWords //------------------------------// Bits. Everypony needs them. They make the world go ‘round and put food on the table. Nopony was an exception to this rule. Not even The Great and Powerful Trixie. Not that she was very Great and Powerful anymore. No, now she was stuck doing chump work to make a living. However, to understand her current state in life, we need to go back to the beginning. The beginning of the story of how Trixie got a job at… Spike’s Superb Subs and Salty Sesame Seeded Sandwiches!! “Alright, so, your resume states that you once slayed an Ursa Major. Tell me, how do you feel this situation prepared you for work in the service industry?” “The Great and Powerful Trixie provided a great service to the quaint town of Ponyville that day!” Trixie exclaimed, ignorant of the ponies in the restaurant lobby attempting to enjoy a peaceful lunch.. To her dismay, the pony conducting her interview didn’t look very impressed. “Could you go into more detail, if at all possible? A lot of ponies provide services in town. What makes you different?” “Unlike the simple, feeble-minded ponies of your average Ponyville citizen, Trixie has been enlightened by her many travels around Equestria,” she boasted. “Hmm, alrighty then. Now, onto work history. The only thing listed under this section is “Greatest Magician Ever”. However, it clearly states that your starting wages were twenty bits per show, but by the time this employment came to an end, you actually owed your audience money. Could you please explain this?” Trixie blinked, trying to think of a response that wouldn’t make her look like a total jackass. Then, like a tidal wave, it crashed over her. “Trixie began to perform for free, as a service to the many ponies of Equestria. After all, not everypony is privileged enough to pay for a ticket to see my wondrous displays of magic.” The manager blinked twice and shifted his tie, attempting to keep his professional demeanor. “I’m quite sure, Ms. Great and Powerful. Now, I think I’ve heard enough, but if for nothing more than my own amusement, allow me to ask the final question: What do you bring to the table?” “Please. Trixie brought the table itself.” Trixie cocked her head and grinned. “Now, when do I start?” “Yeah, about that… I think I’m going to have to confer with the store manager on this one. My people will call your people, you’re being wait-listed, et cetera. Now, if you’ll excuse me—” Trixie leapt out of her chair, slamming her front hooves onto the table in front of her. “Listen here, you third-rate excuse for a manager!” she exclaimed angrily, “Trixie will not be refused a job because you’re too much of a wimp to hire her on the spot! I demand to speak to your superior at once!” The manager sighed in complete frustration. “Fine, I’ll go get him. Don’t get your saddle in a wad.” He rose from his seat, shaking his head. Trixie fell back into her seat, her hooves crossed as she watched him leave the rather cramped lobby. She let out a huff. “That’s more like it. I’m tired of being treated like some common pony!” Trixie was ready for whatever big, corporate overlord came out to greet her. She would get her way, just like she always had. “Trixie? No freakin’ way…” Trixie looked up from her pose of superiority, and her eyes were greeted with the last face she expected to see. “Spike?” “You know, when my assistant told me I had a crazy unicorn out in my lobby demanding to see me, I just assumed it was Twilight, but I did not expect to see you again. May I please ask why you’re here as opposed to gallivanting across Equestria, parading yourself around like you usually do?” Trixie had to pause before responding. She couldn’t very well lower herself enough to tell him that she was out of work, especially given their past relations. “Hmph, Trixie is an economically minded mare at heart. She is simply trying to diversify her overall income. Now, how, may I ask, did you rise to such a status to become the store manager of a restaurant?” Spike chuckled, grinning at the boisterous mare. He slid into the seat across from her. “We both know you’re pretty confident, Trixie. You may not know it, but so am I. Of course, unlike you, I don’t go around bragging about myself.” He rolled his eyes, then sighed. “I ended up selling off a lot of my gems to open this restaurant, with Twilight’s help of course,” he added. “Now humor me. Why should I, someone you’ve wronged in the past, hire you?” Trixie was at a crossroads. On one hoof, she couldn’t stand the thought of serving as an underling to Spike, who was inferior to her in every way. On the other hoof, her stomach was constantly growling, and she needed some bits. And she was running out of options at this point. It was time to put that silver tongue to good use. “Well, as part of her ‘No Villain Left Behind’ act Twilight is pushing, she told me I should apply here to try and reassert myself into society… Yeah, that’s right. And, of course there were several other far more lucrative job offers on the table for Trixie to consider. But, given how she already knew you personally, Spike, she supposed she would take the opportunity to assist you here as opposed to exploring other options. This is purely a self-sacrificing affair on my part.” Spike shook his head and smirked. “You know, every instinct in my body is telling me this is a bad idea, but I can’t help but jump at the idea of you working under me. You’re hired.” Trixie’s eyes lit up. He was going to give her the job? Her lie had worked? She almost wanted to jump for joy, but she managed to keep herself composed. “Was there ever any doubt that you would—” “Oh, trust me, there was a lot of doubt.” “W-well, Trixie is grateful either way. What day would you like her to start?” “Tomorrow should be fine. Of course, I’ll need to consult Twilight about this, just to make sure you’re being completely honest with me.” Trixie gulped, but managed to keep it unnoticed. “O-oh. Well, I’m sure Twilight will give me a glowing recommendation,” she coughed out nervously. “Now, onto the matter of compensation?” Spike grinned. “Of course, the most important part. I normally make it a habit to pay at least twenty percent above minimum wage. Paying the lowest amount possible for an employee just seems dirty and makes me feel guilty. However, this is not the case with you. You get half a bit per hour. Deal?” “Wh-what?! B-but Trixie was told in the job advertisement that you would be paying two bits an hour!” she shouted angrily. “I could report you, you know!” “Right, and then you wouldn’t have a shop to work at anymore.” Trixie tried to fire back at him, but she could barely sputter out a word. After a moment, she relented. It was still money, at least… “Very well, Trixie will work for half a bit an hour,” she said through clenched teeth. “But mark my words, little dragon, soon I will be so far ahead in this fast food chain that you’ll be cleaning my private restroom for me!” “That’s great,” Spike said. “Now, show up tomorrow at seven in the morning, and we’ll have an apron and visor waiting for you. And don’t be late.” “Oh, I will,” Trixie replied confidently. With their talk having come to a close, Spike excused himself to the back of the restaurant, leaving Trixie alone. When she was sure he was out of earshot, she looked down at the table and sighed. “Buck, now I need to convince Twilight to lie for me.”