Session 22.0 Kendell2
Fluttershy blinked. "Discord, what are you doing?"
Discord had halved lemons for headphones. "Playing an MMO with some friends of mine."
Fluttershy blinked and looked at the names. Discord's username was 'I'm A Banana'. "Who are 'The Fairest of Them All' and 'Dark Lord of All'?
"Eh, just some 'not quite buddies' I invited on the grounds none of us tell each other our real names. I mean I know THEIR names, but it'll be funner when they realize who they were having fun with."
----
Tirek didn't care how a 'computer' got in his cell or why the only app on it was an MMO (or for that matter it was meant to have more than one app). He got to kill things and harvest them for profit and no one could tell him he was wrong. The fact it permitted him to perform regicide on the Princesses was a bonus. "Yes! Fall before the might of Tirek! I will pillage and slaughter all of you!"
----
Chrysalis cackled as they killed Celestia, likewise ignorant of what a computer actually WAS or who gave it to her (or the fact it should have had more than one app). "That was more satisfying than I expected! When do I get to kill Luna?"
----
As the one reformed villain and two unrepentant sociopaths played through the game, Discord got somewhat bored, but persevered for the punchline of telling Tirek and Chryssy they were playing with him.
Naturally, all three became VERY frustrated when they got to the insanely difficult final boss.
The irony was it was TIREK who did the encouraging when they got too frustrated and felt like quitting. Chrysalis replied 'A warrior's pride? I admire that. I bet you're cute'.
However, then they got to the part where they beat Luna then killed Discord.
---
"WHAT?!" Discord shouted.
---
"YES! HAHAHAHAHA!" Tirek laughed in elation. "Serves you right, ponylover!"
---
Chrysalis smirked. "Serves him right for stealing my kill."
---
"What idiot coded this junk?! I would NOT die so easily!" Discord shouted. "Or killed Luna for that matter. Turned her a chinchilla, maybe, but past me never killed his toys!"
Fluttershy looked at the screen. "Um, somepony's asking a question?"
Discord blinked, then looked at the question. "Destroy Equestria? Where's the fun in DESTROYING Equestria? Even when I was evil I knew better than to break my toys!"
---
"Tisk...as much as it'd make me happy to see Equestria burn, I have to have SOMETHING to rule," Chrysalis lamented.
---
Discord and Chrysalis' eyes widened as the 'Yes' answer was pressed.
---
Tirek laughed maniacally. "YES! BURN IT ALL! Leave no stone atop another! HAHAHAHA!"
---
"Right. You are a great partner," said the shadow of their characters. "We'll be together forever, won't we?"
However, the same exact result as saying no happened.
Chrysalis blinked. "Well...that was anti-climactic. Where's the burning and destruction?"
---
Tirek shrugged. "Eh, that's what I'd have done too."
---
Discord snarled. "Seriously?! Who wrote this crap?!"
Fluttershy looked at the box. "...You..."
"Huh?"
The spirit of Chaos looked at the box. "Lead Designer...Discord...Dang it! I've been trolled by myself across universes! That's only fun when I do it! Well, you got the last laugh this time, Human Me! But I will have it next time!...But first..."
Discord snapped his fingers.
---
Tirek blinked. Watching the screen suddenly being covered by an image of a banana opening up to reveal Discord and the words 'It was me all along!' before dancing and mooning him.
Tirek snarled. "DISCORD!" he roared and punched the computer...then cradled his weak, scrawny, and now almost broken hand while the computer was undamaged.
---
"AH! MY EYES!" Chrysalis screamed, covering her eyes at Discord's mooning image, which she promptly blew up with a magic beam along with the computer.
---
"Now, to get revenge on myself!" Discord said, laughing maniacally with lightning behind him.
Session 22.1 Grogar-the-oneser
"So you traumatized almost all of our players if all these reviews are correct," Sombra said.
"Children of today need scarring, helps character growth and all that," Discord said with a wave of his hand.
"I still think we made it too tempting with the stay discorded path," Scorpan muttered.
"details," Discorded said.
"Well no damage done, but I did have to tell Chrysalis she must tone down her expansion so we don't lose any customers," Sombra said.
"Oh she won't take that well," Scorpan winced.
"Bah, what the worst she could do?" Discord asked.
-Meanwhile-
"Keep throwing your trash in Discord's workplace, everyone who keeps doing it will get a free month salary!" Chrysalis said through a loudspeaker.
Session 22.2 Alex Warlorn
Discord glared at the computer screen he'd set up in Fluttershy's cottage without her permission. (Like he'd done a lot of things mooching off of Fluttershy when he was first released, in spite of being the god of chaos and Fluttershy finally told him to make his own place... he then made his own pocket universe, or so the story was told, given it was Discord, best take it with a grain of salt).
"Let's see Human Me explain to his boss that everyone gets a free rainbow dyejob coupon that was only available during beta, and all the guardians protecting the unfinished beta areas vanish!" Discord snapped his fingers... the game screen flickered... but no coupon appeared in player's inventory... and the guardians of the beta areas stayed where they were (including the 4.4 trillion HP with that same amount of regen crystal-golem protecting the way to the crystal empire).
Discord narrowed his eyes. "Now now, you can't tell me my magic doesn't work in that universe, no way, no how, dream on, forget it!"
"It seems you've tried to meddle in the fabric of the universe." Said a recording of Discord's own voice!
"Oh wait! This must be human me."
"Discord doesn't like others using the powers of chaos coughhackingcough in Equestria... you need to be punished." In a flash of lightning, 'I'm A Banana' was turned into a bunny rabbit.
"Meh! That's your best?! You're a disgrace to all Discords across the multi-verse!"
"BAD RABBIT! BE PUNISHED! PUNISHMENT! PUNISHMENT!" Cheered Screwball she flew down out of nowhere, having higher stats than the royal guards, with a giant mallet. Screwball squash you into rice cakes!"
"Okay... that's actually impressive." Discord said as 'The Lone Ranger' theme began to play. He frantically tried to save 'I'm A Banana' from being KO'ed by the virtual Screwball, who kept blocking the screen and making faces at him. "That is no way to treat your father!"
Meanwhile, Chrysalis was fuming. "Discord! My revenge will be slow, sublime, and utterly humiliating!" Sadly her diplomatic immunity didn't include murder, but so she'd make due.
- Some time later-
Fluttershy cheered. "Oh Discord! Butterflies On Ice! I've always wanted to go! But I could never get tickets! Whoever sent these must be a loving and kind soul."
-
"Ugh! I feel like puking... my letter must have arrived."
-
"... Have fun." Discord said glaring at the screen, as Screwball was now mooning HIM whenever he logged in. And was also scribbling on his desktop. This wasn't so fun when it happened to HIM!
"Oh! But the tickets are exclusively for both of us... unless... you... you don't want to go with me."
Discord took one look at Fluttershy's sad face, inwardly groaned, and said with more maturity than he'd used in millions of years. "It'd be... an... honor... to go with you... Fluttershy."
Discord wonder if he and Rainbow Dash should form a support group on those Fluttershy dragged along to things they hated then refused to go to things SHE hated. The words Discord thought next would have wilted an entire mountain's worth of flowers.
-Later-
Ponies stared with saucer eyes at Discord, understandably nervous about sitting next to the god of chaos, reformed or not. They still remembered when Discord had stabbed them all in the back for Tirek, let alone the trauma they'd gone through during his brief reign. Discord for his part looked absolutely miserable as classical 'dance of the sugar plum fairy' song played. He was surrounded by snacks, munching on them and barely tasting them.
Fluttershy was on cloud nine, not noticing the world around her except for the dancing ponies in butterfly costumes ice skating... it was actually very similar to Rainbow Dash's Wonderbolts nirvana.
Discord did not fail to notice one of the main dancers... an albino changeling, did a twirl, and landed on the ice, her butt seemingly directed right at Discord.
Session 22.3 Zaku789 (with some extra by me)
"Please Cadence," Shining asked.
"Shining no, it's one thing to use me as a javelin to stop an ancient tyrant, but this is pushing it," Cadence said. "Plus wouldn't the prize be useless if the couple doesn't drink?"
"But I do!"
"Okay, what's with your brother and Princess Cadence?" Rainbow dash said.
"Oh, I told him about this human world sport. Apparently Sunset got interested in human world sport activities after learning about Extreme Ironing," Twilight said.
Rainbow Dash raised her eyebrow.
"She said it was also partly Pinkie's fault for the sudden fascination."
"Ah!" Rainbow Dash nodded.
"Anywho, the sport he got interested in is one called Wife Carrying, as the name suggests, is a man, or in this case a stallion, must carry his wife through an obstacle course as fast as he can," Twilight said.
"That the stupidest thing I've heard." Rainbow Dash snorted.
"I know, especially since the prize is alcohol," Twilight said.
"..... Beg pardon?"
"The winner of the race gets his wife's weight in beer."
"Does it have to be beer. Can it be any kinda alcohol?"
"I guess, wait why..." Twilight said suspiciously.
"Well I was wondering if the prize could be a good case of cid-"
"You are not double teaming with Shining just to somehow pretend to be somepony's wife just to get free cider." Twilight snapped.
"But Big Mac gets to pretend he's a mare to bond with Apple Bloom," Rainbow whined.
"The answer is no," Twilight said flatly.
"DRINKING FOR DRINKING'S SAKE?! A CONTEST FOR ALCOHOL?! NOT IN MY FAMILY!" Lightning boomed as Twilight Velvet materialized in a powerful teleportation flash. "AND SINCE WHEN DOES ANY SON OF MINE SON DRINK!?"
"MOM!" The siblings yelped.
Flurry Heart giggled from where she was on her grandmother's back.
"When you said you needed me to watch Flurry Heart, I thought it was for something important!!!! YOU'VE GOT AN EAR-FULL TO LISTEN TO YOUNG STALLION!!!"
"... Uh-oh." He squeaked.
"Twilight dear," her mother said nicely. "Don't you have a new friend whose very good at correcting behaviors?"
"Uh, you mean Starlight Glimmer?"
"Bingo. If she can get ponies to hate their own cutie marks, she can remove unwanted desires for excessive intoxicating beverages."
"Double uh-oh." Shining whispered.
Flurry Heart clapped.
Berry Punch heard this commotion outside the castle and looked at her daughter, Ruby Pinch. "Dear, I think it's time for us to meet your father."
Session 22.4 MtangaLion
Spike the Dog grinned at his computer tablet, tail wagging. "Hey, Twilight! Rainbow Dash and Gilda are just about to take the train to Ponyville!"
Twilight glanced up from her homework, adjusting her glasses. "They're coming by train? How long is that going to take?"
"No time at all, actually. You should hurry up and log in."
"What!?" Twilight put a bookmark in her calculus textbook and grabbed her own laptop. "That seems awfully unrealistic... even considering that it's a game written by humans about magical talking ponies."
"Fine by me," mused Spike. "I mean, who wants to spend hours staring at a virtual train car, when there's quests to do?"
"I suppose that's one way of looking at it." Twilight logged in to World of Horsecraft, and her unicorn pony wizard, Faithful Student, materialized in Ponyville. "How do I look, Spike?"
"Like you dressed yourself in a thrift shop... The same as every other pony who just hit the new max level." Spike grinned hopefully. "Although... I *could* look a lot better if you bought a couple of those cosmetic items from the shop, and paid to make my character a colt..."
"Ugh, microtransactions!" Twilight stamped a foot in real life, and a hoof in game. "Absolutely not, Spike. It's the principle of the thing."
"Yeah, well, it's easy to be principled about it when you're a girl..."
"Spike!" The animation of the train arriving drew her attention, and she quickly slipped on her headset mic. "Oh, they're here!"
Two griffons padded off the train, causing quite a stir. Many folks hadn't even seen a griffon in game yet, since they couldn't leave their starting zone of Griffonstone until level 20, and ponies could only enter after doing a max level Friendship Quest.
Gilda saw Twilight and grinned, doing a quick jump and wing flap to hop across the train platform faster. "Hey, check us out!" Her griffon was sandy brown, with darker brown wings, faded pink feathers, and violet eye markings.
Rainbow Dash's griffon was just as striking... snowy-white fur with light blue feathers and a spiky midnight blue crest. She strutted down the platform, grinning. "Are you getting as many whispers as I am?"
Gilda looked smug. "You know it! So, what'd we miss? You dweebs do anything fun while we were busy?"
Purple Pup trotted up alongside Faithful Student, still a violet earth pony mare. Her forehooves were wrapped in bandages... Spike had switched his warrior to the new bare-hoofed fighting specialization. "Well... Discord took over Canterlot Palace, foalnapped the Princesses, tricked the Bearers into a hedge maze, stole the Elements of Harmony, and then brain-zapped lots of ponies and kinda took over most of the major cities of Equestria. Other than that, not much!"
"So," asked Twilight, "are you going to raid with those characters? You should have plenty of time to level. We won't have a permanent tank anyway until Shiny levels his new *colt* paladin." She rolled her eyes. "Still, there should be plenty of time for us to have some fun with the Canterlot Palace raid before the next content update."
Gilda struck a pose, wings spread. "Griffon for me, all the way."
Rainbow Dash was looking sheepish, though. "Actually... I wasn't quite sure how to tell you this... I didn't realize you'd be so into griffons."
Gilda blinked, shaken. "Dash?"
"Yeah... I'm probably gonna make this griffon an alt and go back to my pegasus." Dash sighed. "I miss my rainbow colors... and those sweet wingblades I looted from Nightmare Moon... and I really miss the super speed."
Gilda's face fell. "What, that's it? After all those crazy times, the levels we earned together... you're gonna ditch me and go back to being a lame-o pony, Dash!? You are such a flip-flop!!"
Dash's beak fell open. "Gilda, I..."
"Whatever! Have fun with your pony friends, jerk! I'll be back in Griffonstone, making real griffon friends." Gilda stalked away, trying to keep a straight face, then snickered and burst out laughing. "Nah, I'm just ruffling your feathers, Dash."
"Gah!" Rainbow Dash breathed a huge sigh of relief. "You really had me going!"
Faithful Student looked to Purple Pup, realizing that they'd been on pins and needles too. "For a moment there, I thought..."
Gilda smirked. "Hey, we're all in the Equestrian Alliance together, right?"
"Right!" Dash declared. "No reason at all why I can't have pony friends *and* griffon friends!" She looked at Gilda thoughtfully. "So, you want a powerlevel when I'm back on my pegasus?"
Gilda responded with mock outrage. "I'm surprised at you, Dash! What about all that lore stuff about our pride as warriors of Griffonstone and stuff?"
Dash waggled her eyebrows. "The sooner we're both max level, the sooner we can hang again."
Gilda sighed, smirking. "Only for you, Dash."
Session 22.5 Kendell2
Discord teleported back into Fluttershy's house. "Alright, now that I've spent the last twelve hours watching mindless nonsense to counteract all that cuteness, I'm ready to..." he then blinked, watching Fluttershy sitting at the computer. "Fluttershy? What are you doing?"
"Oh! I'm playing this adorable little game I found," Fluttershy replied, clicking.
"...How did you get my password?"
"You didn't have one..."
"Oh...right...What game is this?"
"It's called 'Drifting Afternoon.' Angel helped me find it to relax. You just help this cute little kitten or puppy jump around on balloons! It's so cute!"
Discord looked as Fluttershy clicked on the next balloon and the tiny puppy jumped to the next balloon. The whole graphics style looked like a watercolor painting. "...Why is it everything you like is so sweet it gives me diabetes?"
"...Sorry..."
The time ran out and Fluttershy gave a relaxed sigh. "That was relaxing..." she said, getting up and returning to caring for her animals.
Discord blinked in confusion. "...Well that was anticlimatic, normally click games get ponies addicted to them in this story...hmm, maybe I should introduce that to Twilight..."
(OOC: This game http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/drift.htm)
Session 22.6 Kendell2
-In The Human World-
Discord chuckled. "If you want to worry about our games traumatizing our customers. Remember when your mother ran the company?"
Sombra shuddered. "I'd rather forget."
Chrysalis shuddered. "She was even harder on the players than we are!"
Scorpan looked curious. "Is it true Mrs. Rabia had a torture chamber for employees?"
"No, that's just what we called the employee game room back then," Discord explained. "Because she only allowed games with her 'stamp of approval' on them."
"Which came in two flavors," Chrysalis explained. "Brutally hard to the point of sadism, or so horrifying you would have night terrors for weeks."
"Even the game commercials were terrifying," Discord replied, playing a clip of incredibly creepy video game characters saying 'You Cannot Beat Us' over and over again in the most horrifying way possible.
Scorpan shuddered in horror. "What happened to her?"
"She went to prison for losing her temper and threatening harm to a bunch of concerned parents...then the guards at the prison," Sombra explained, seeming more relieved than anything.
"...We're making her the villain of an expansion, aren't we?" Discord asked.
"...Yes, she'd probably enjoy that."
Session 22.7 Kichi (with major edits)
"What was it again? In the jungle you will stay until something, something, something... Crude, Why was I thinking, it was a good idea to play that game? Oh well... It's not going to be that hard, right?" Ask to herself Diamond Tiara as she trotted around the Sabana.
IN EQUESTRIA
Twilight was with the Crusaders and Discord in front of the Friendship Table with the game of Jumanji open.
"Okay girls. After talking with Discord..." Begin to say Twilight but is interrupted.
"Talking? You begin to press the damn electrical button like a maniac and shocking me before telling me anything and then you only told me to follow you AWWWOUCHGAAHHH!" Interrupted Discord but then he is shocked again by Twilight.
"Like I was saying... After talking with him, I make him come here so that he could take Diamond Tiara out of the game," commented Twilight.
"What? It was only that? Oh, it's very easy, this happen all the time, let me guess, somepony did not read the rules before playing?" Asked Discord.
At that time the Crusaders looked away.
"Okay... Let's see..." Discord put his lion paw in the crystal at the center of the game and the paw get inside like nothing.
"Ummm... Where it is...Oh, I got something." Discord took out his paw holding a rubber duck.
"Well, that's not her," Discord threw away the rubber duck landing in front of Sweetie Belle.
"Oww, what a cute duckie..." Sweetie Belle is going to touch the duck when suddenly teeth appear from the duck and he bit at Sweetie.
"Yeah, not a good idea to touch something from the game, almost everything tries to kill you," Chuckle Discord as he begin to fish again.
"And Diamond Tiara is trapped in there?!" Apple Bloom gasped.
"You worry too much. AGHAGHAGH! Let me work here!"
After a long hour in which Discord had fished out several monkeys, a lion that ended up at Fluttershy hut and that she decided to call Simba, a group of enraged bees and a pony with a shotgun between other things, Twilight and the Crusaders begin to get bored, the gates of the castle open suddenly and Diamond Tiara entered.
She was seething, she was covered in grass and dirt, wearing a green head band, that clashed with her fur, she had cuts and bruises all over her body, and an arrow head stuck in her name sake. She was holding a self-made spear in her mouth (the spear's tip covered in SOMETHING) that she spat out.
"Gah, Diamond? But how? I thought you'd been absorbed by the game!" Ask the surprised Twilight.
"Yeah, well... It seems the inside of the game is connected to the backyard of Discord house, or maybe is the backyard of Discord house," Comment Diamond Tiara smoldering.
"Oh, well... If no one needs me...Wagouchaagh," Say Discord as he is ready to snap the fingers but is shocked again by the remote.
"When where you going to tell us that?" Ask Twilight.
"Tell you what?" Ask Discord.
"That she was in your backyard," Asked Twilight.
"You never asked, you only told me to take her out of the game." Discord smiled but then he was shocked again.
"I was nearly assimilated by a tribe of walking masks, was being chased by a crazy stallion who wanted to mount my head on his wall, and there were these pony-eating plants! The living mud ponies! The fanged butterflies! AGH! I'm going to the spa and not coming out for a week!!!
"All that happened in an hour?!" Twilight exclaimed.
"An hour?!" Diamond Tiara exclaimed right back. "You're joking! I remember having to sleep with one eye open!"
Discord said 'sheepishly. "There might have been a little time distortion."
"My Daddy's sending you my therapy bills Discord!"
"That's what you get for not reading the directions. AGHGHAAHGHGH!"
"And you've been shocked how many times, and never once thought to just turn yourself into rubber?"
Discord's jaw dropped to the floor.
Session 22.8 Kendell2
"I don't like the looks of this..." Rarity muttered, looking at the box, which presented a horde of hideous, grimdark looking monsters emerging from underground to attack Equestria.
"It's not as bad as it sounds. Basically, these demonic beasts made of evil and hatred have been released from underground and are attacking Equestria with the intent to corrupt and steal our souls...but there's a twist," said Twilight, giving a smile. "Don't worry."
"Better expect another bad time..." Rainbow Dash muttered.
To her surprise, however, things went very differently.
The first encounter with a monster (a gigantic demonic frog that bragged about how he'd 'eat their souls'). Rainbow Dash's attack role...took off a fourth of its health in one hit.
"What the buck? I thought it was going to be overpowered!" Rainbow replied.
The monster's counter attack did a fair amount of damage, but not nearly as much as she expected from a game with designs out of Dark Spirits.
When Fluttershy's turn came, her attack nearly one shot it.
...Then it died of a damage over time effect Rainbow was sure none of their attacks had inflicted.
"What the..." Applejack asked.
Twilight smirked. "Simple: the creatures are made of evil and hatred, that means harmony, goodness, and kindness can cause them literal damage, especially when you attack them with those emotions."
"Oh, so that's why Fluttershy nearly one hit killed it," Spike said, causing Fluttershy to blush.
"And the damage over time?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Fluttershy put a most of her skill points into her kindness, so she's literally so nice it hurts them with her mere presence," Twilight explained.
"Yah mean like how in a lot of grimdark stuff, something can be so malicious it hurts yah?" Applejack nodded.
"That's about right."
Rainbow Dash had the mentle image of a monster having a heart attack looking at Fluttershy's character due to Cuteness...oh wait, that actually happened once when they were fillies. "So basically, instead of the grimdark junk walking over Equestria, they picked on the wrong land of peace and love?"
"About right."
"I can get behind that."
The monsters weren't defenseless, and there was a challenge, but it was refreshing to see the dark and gritty thing get beaten by peace and love.
Session 22.9 Alex Warlorn
The changeling embassy... wasn't really an embassy... it was more like a cave stationed near the Crystal Empire since no pony was insane enough to let Chrysalis have any sort of permanent position within an Equestrian city. Actually... it was a series of caves... furbished up to service the Queen and whichever spies were visiting that day, ones that changed anywhere from weekly to hourly, it was impossible to tell.
Still... Chrysalis needed somewhere to crash and relay whenever she visited the Crystal Empire for another role playing session with Shining Armor and Cadence... No pony believed for a second when she claimed to have 'reformed' but they figured at least when she was there, she wasn't scheming elsewhere.
Starlight Glimmer told several ponies where she was going, along with pass words and secondary pass phrases if she was replaced or brainwashed. She also carried a white flag so Queen Chrysalis couldn't say later she 'thought Starlight was attacking.'
Starlight hated to admit it, but the place was rather snazzy for a temporary homestead.
"Hello Queen Chrysalis of the Bad Lands Changeling Swarm, I, Starlight Glimmer, Student of Princess Twilight Sparkle, am here as part of the 'redemption therapy' volunteer program."
Chrysalis hated the thought of the word 'redemption' reminded her too much of those nightmares she'd been having, she'd carefully shielded her dreams against Princess Luna... or so she thought at least... of course heroically fighting against a evil tyrant would have been 'cool' dreams to anypony else.
"Oh yes," Chrysalis smiled, "Tell me how much you love and care about me, share that pony love, I'm sure it'll inspire me to be a better love eating predator."
Starlight looked around, spotting two changeling nymphs wearing little crowns, one obese, the other one looking rather scrawny.
"Didn't you say you had three kids? Where's the third one?" Starlight asked.
"Oh she's... somewhere else right now. Helping mommy with her revenge, I mean long term planning for my swarm." Chrysalis grinned like a shark.
"... Oh well... Queen Chrysalis, I know you must care for your children and your swarm-"
Queen Chrysalis chuckled politely to herself.
"- so I know you can't be devoid of empathy and caring as you so claim... and if Discord, the spirit of all chaos could be redeemed, it stands to reason any could be redeemed. After all, I was redeemed, and I was rather... completely and utterly evil."
Chrysalis stared at Starlight Glimmer mouth a gasp for several seconds, then burst out laughing. She held her sides as she continued to laughing, leaning back in her throne kicking her rear legs in the air. "You... you... you... actually... AHAHAHAHHAH!" Chrysalis rolled off her throne, still laughing herself sick. "HAHAAHAHH! You truly... you honstly do... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! And I thought you thick when I heard about Miss Messiah Complex! But THAT! THAT?!" Chrysalis snorted in mirth and continued to laugh to herself. Her minions and spawn all politely giggled. "Seriously! THAT takes a level of naivety I haven't seen in a long long time! Even that idiot who thought I loved him back wasn't this naive!"
"... Naive?" Starlight asked, feeling suddenly very very small.
Chrysalis snorted and her happy cut off like a light switch. She snarled in Starlight's face that she could actually feel the love on her breath. Starlight was nearly pushed into the ground from the changeling queen's muzzle pushing into hers.
"Listen here you little worm! I'm not bound by your meaningless moralities! Spiders don't CARE if a fly has family or if the fly has dreams of its own! It's just dinner! And little girl, I've rubbed shoulder with things from the darkest depths from beyond Equestria's borders that would make you soil yourself! And you have to gall to think that you belong to be counted WITH US?! With us?! We've wiped cities off the map! We've ended civilizations! We've driven species to extinction!
"We didn't make a bunch of miserable losers feel better about themselves by giving them a place to belong by removing those stupid STUPID butt tattoos you treat like they're the best thing ever! You ponies LIVE to be told what to do! Either by a picture on your ass, or somepony wearing a crown! AND YOU THINK! THAT MAKES! YOU! WORTHY TO COUNTED AMONG VILLAINS LIKE US?!"
"... I know there are changelings who are not evil... therefore, something must have happened to you when you were small-"
"-I've always been this way-"
"You said the enchanted tree was a lie."
"Yes. I did say that was a lie. And for the record, yes, I was lying my abdomen off about that. The tree story is bogus."
"So there must have been something that made you lose your ability to feel compassion for others outside of the changelings, it-"
"The only thing 'completely and utterly' is that naivety of yours! ... I think I'm going to explain this to you in a way a pony can understand." Chrysalis cleared her throat.
Chrysalis began to bop her abdomen, buzzing it about in dance as a bee would.
The Queen's spawn looked at each other.
"I don't have a heart that's in distress.
I'm not your friend or the hurt princess.
I'm not a little bird who needs your help to fly.
Nope... I'm the bad guy."
Her horn glowed and a curtain was pulled back to show renditions of famous pony cities and those of other creatures, many Starlight only recognized from early history books. How old WAS SHE?!
"All these former kingdoms that you see,
Each of them, with shaking knees, knelt before me."
She shape shifted into Trixie, and sang in her voice.
"So I'm not your teammate or your partner in crime.
What am I, minions?"
The Changeling guards and her spawn said. "She's the bad guy."
She ripped a wuv cat out of a cage Starlight hadn't noticed before, she was still startled when the queen with Trixie's face reduced the poor feline to an empty husk.
"Oh, it's magic
Watchin' a heart flicker out
and become mine."
Still as Trixie she grapped Starlight and forcibly danced with her.
"Oh, it's thrillin'
To be a villain.
I destroy their homes and then I watch them cry." She said in a sultry voice that made Starlight shiver in disgust.
She laughed in Trixie voice, then shape shifted into SUNBURST!
"'Cause I'm the bad guy!"
"Stop saying those horrible things with their faces! Don't you care?!"
"Of course I care, I care that it makes you hurt! And the tasty love it brings out... oh Starlight, I'm such a nerd, you always took every little thing I taught you and made it cooler, I knew I could never live up to you." Sunburst said sadly.
"Oh Sunburst I never meant, WAIT! You can't!" Starlight began to say before coming to her senses as Chrysalis began to suck love out of her, Starlight coughed and choked severing the connection.
'Sunburst' laughed. "Oh, ain't it fantastic?
I see yer love, I snatch it!" He then blasted one of her spawn for no reason other than to keep her on her toes.
"And let me tell you why."
She finally shifted back to her true form.
"I've always had a weakness
For barrenness and bleakness.
I crush all your hopes and then I watch you cry."
Then she shifted to Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and then a moment Cadence as she sang.
"See, I find this business rather fun!
I don't want your therapy or your adulation!
I'll harvest your entire species and bid ya bye-bye!"
"Why?"
"Come on, GUESS!!"
Starlight said hesitantly. "'Cause you're the bad guy?"
"Or, well, girl." The changeling queen laughed. Then her horns started to glow menacingly.
A minutes later a fiery green comet was sent sailing over Equestria... which crashed into the top window of Friendship Castle's tallest tower... and Starlight Glimmer, the one true Starlight Glimmer, began to rolled down the stairs before crashing to the smooth shiny floors. Smoking. A tag around her neck reading 'free changeling flier miles, consider them a gift.'
"She wasn't interested in the magic of friendship?" Spike asked looking up from his comic.
"Nope," Starlight said before fainting, her face falling flat on the floor.
Session 22.10 Kendell2
Empress Blackrose sighed and turns the 'Days since Chrysalis did something evil' sign to zero.
-
"G6!" the human Pinkie Pie called.
"...Dang, ya sank my battleship," said Applejack replied. "Looks like you win."
"Yay!" Pinkie Pie shouted, pulling out a party cannon and shooting it.
Sunset chuckled...then blinked. "Uh, Pinkie Pie?"
"Yeah?"
"Where DID you get that anyway? I don't remember you having it before the whole mess with the Sirens..." Sunset questioned.
"Oh...that...hehe..."
---
"Alright, here you go! The blueprints for a party cannon!" said pony Pinkie Pie (though she was currently human), having come through the portal and handing herself several blueprints.
Human Pinkie looked them over and nodded. "Cool! Thank you me!"
"You're welcome me!...Wanna play..."
"3.5? Yeah!"
"That's what I was thinking!"
"We're like twins!"
"From alternate universes!"
---
"Just figured it out," Pinkie Pie said with an innocent look.
Session 22.11 BrutalityInc
“I told you it’ll be more expedient to just petrify her with Rainbow Power and then throw the statue into outer space.” Shining Armor remarked, with a caustic, belligerent tone. With an aura of telekinesis, he moved a white pawn on the board towards his sister’s black pieces. “She’s beyond saving.”
“That’s what you said about Discord.” Twilight retorted even as she responded to her brother’s play by moving a black knight. “And looked how he turned out in the end. I KNOW we can do it; it’s just a matter of finding the right approach. If Fluttershy could get Discord to turn around, reforming Chrysalis is not impossible. That’s why I have Starlight visit her at her ‘embassy’ and give it a go.”
“And look how well that turned out; Chrysalis gave her a breaking speech and dance-number before throwing her out, while gloating about how much she revels in evil, and how she’ll conquer Equestria no matter how long it takes.” The army unicorn said with a sneer even as he countered his sister’s move with a white bishop. “And in case you forgotten, Discord stabbed us in the back for Lord Tirek.”
“You still haven’t forgiven him for that?” Twilight was mildly surprised, though not that much, while as she moved her black queen, taking out Shining’s remaining bishop, “Fluttershy told me he genuinely regretted it. And in case you forgot as well, he helped us defeat Lord Tirek in the end.”
“Only after he was on the receiving end of his own medicine when Lord Tirek betrayed him and drained him of his chaos magic.” Shining snorted derisively even as he moved a white rook. “Don’t expect me to ever invite him to our Crystal Empire gaming group this life-time. And to be honest, I always thought of it as dodgy.”
“What being dodgy?” Twilight asked, confused.
“The whole Fluttershy redeeming him thing.” Shining clarified, “Your friend is a wonderful, incredible mare, and I say this from personal experience. But at the end of the day, she’s just one mortal pony, while Discord is a patch-work eldritch abomination whose at least several billion years old. With Tirek down, he’s back to being literally the most powerful creature in all of Equestria, and at his level, the world’s greatest pony is no more than the greatest termite.”
“Fluttershy’s more than a mere mortal pony.” Twilight corrected, while moving a black rook.
“Yes, yes, the Element of Kindness. We all know that.” Shining said in a rather dismissive tone, which galled his sister somewhat. “She could touch heart with any living creature on the planet, but Discord is not any normal living creature, he’s the metaphysical embodiment of chaos and disharmony! How could an entity whose morality and perception is as utterly alien to us as ours are to ants would even comprehend kindness? Or pain? Or any of the emotions and thoughts of mortal creatures? How could some creature like that even be able to relate to any creature like Fluttershy, who would like an ant to him and would be dead and dust in a draconequu eye-blink? I can’t reconcile this paradox.”
Click-click-click; the game went on between the two even as they talked. As Shining made a daring attempt to check Twilight’s king, he dropped the bombshell. “I’m starting to think that, rather than Fluttershy's efforts being responsible for reforming Discord, it was in fact the Elements of Harmony as a whole which actually did most of the heavy-lifting, by subtly rewiring whatever Discord have for a neural system while in stone, turning him from a cosmic horror to an overgrown stallion-child with godlike powers. With him being able to finally develop empathy and relate to the suffering he caused, all Fluttershy has to do is giving him enough of a nudge over the edge.”
“What? But the Elements would never do such a thing!” Twilight’s retort betrayed her shock, but the wording showed it was more because of what Shining was implying than any outrage of her big brother thoughtlessly brushing off Fluttershy’s seemingly impossible accomplishment.
“Who says it couldn't? I mean, it does sense if you think about it that way, does it not?” Shining Armor responded defensively, “Besides, like you said before, they are the Elements of Harmony, not the Elements of Niceness. Their purpose is to restore harmony, and if push comes to shove, they’ll do whatever it takes to achieve that, whether it be banishing Nightmare Moon for a thousand years, or turning Discord to stone and mind-whammying him into being more reasonable.” He paused for a moment to ponder his next move against Twilight’s counter-play on the board, “Something tells me that these things would go very far to contain disharmony, and would had done something if we fail to save Equestria.”
“We always found a way to win.” Twilight insisted.
“Really, now? The Crystal Mirror shows that there are an infinite number of parallel worlds out there, with many being the same as ours except where one or two events happen differently.” Like what would had happened if I had moved my pieces another way, thought Shining as the chess game’s momentum turned against him once more, “You told me about those alternate timelines that Starlight unwittingly created during her revenge. Just how many of these alternate Equestrias would be under the iron hoof of Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Lord Tirek and the like, if things went even just a little differently? If you and Cadence remained trapped in the crystal caverns beneath Canterlot, we’re screwed. If Queen Chrysalis and her Changelings didn’t went to the balcony to gloat and allowing you to free us, we’re screwed. If Spike haven’t gotten the Crystal Heart out of the Crystal Palace and I didn’t throw my wife far enough to catch it before King Sombra, we’re screwed. If Lord Tirek haven’t spared Discord at your request, we’re screwed. If that drop of water from Fluttershy’s bucket didn’t land on Starlight’s flank, we’re screwed. If she had succeeded in keeping filly Rainbow Dash from pulling that Rainboom in the past… you get my point. There are so many ways for Equestria to go to Tartarus, and all had been avoided at a hair’s breadth.”
“Are you saying that, rather than just simply a good world, ours is simply the best of all possible worlds? Where everything went just right?” Twilight asked.
“I don’t want to imagine what unspeakable horrible fates that millions of ponies would be suffering now in those alternate worlds where these bad guys had ‘won the game’. And since inter-dimensional travel is feasible, as proven by Starswirl, once they figure out how to do it, they’re not going to stop there. And then not even the worlds where happy endings occur would be safe.” Shining leaned forward with a grimace, “If you’re whoever made the Elements of Harmony; if you KNOW full well the death and devastation that would occur should disharmony and those who propagate prevail in even one future out of ten, what would you do? Would you be willing to do what needs to be done to stop it from happening, for the greater good? How far are you willing to go, to make sure those worlds will never occur. No. Matter. WHAT?”
Twilight was silent as she pondered what Shining said. On the game board, there were few pieces left. “What would you want it to do?” Twilight ask, finally, while moving a piece.
“To rig the proverbial 'game', and make it unwinnable to the likes of Queen Chrysalis. I personally wouldn’t mind if the Elements of Harmony unleashed its power and blow Equestria to kingdom come should Queen Chrysalis and her changelings take over the land and harvest the ponies like cattle.” Shining Armor said bluntly. “If the Cutie Map has a contingency for Starlight’s time-travel reality rewrites, it probably has a contingency like this to stop Queen Chrysalis and the other villains from doing that. So be it, if that’s what it takes.”
Twilight shuddered at her brother’s words. She didn’t want to even think about how her brother would come to such dark conclusions. It seemed what Queen Chrysalis had done to him left deeper scars than any-pony had ever realized. It confounded her how they managed to stand each other when she goes to the Crystal Empire gaming sessions.
"Well, if it has, how come it didn't seemed to have done anything in those timelines Starlight created?" Twilight asked.
"Without the Rainboom, maybe nopony else activated the Elements and allowing them to deploy their contingency. Or maybe it's an absolute last resort, and the situation hasn't become that hopeless yet that to warrant it." Shining shrugged, "Don't know, don't matter. What's important is that as long as something like it is in place to stop those villains from achieving their vile ambitions, I'll be more than happy."
Sometimes, the only victory possible is to keep your opponent from winning. That thought came to Twilight suddenly, recalled from some obscure, distant reference. She ignored it.
“In any case,” Twilight said, deciding the end the subject, “It will never come to that. We’ll make sure of that.” She placed a piece down on the board with authority, “Checkmate. You’ve been improving, BBBFF. You actually managed to last two minutes longer than our last game.”
“Guess that impassioned monologue must had been really distracting.” Shining Armor quipped as Twilight tidied up the game, smiling warmly once more, “And don’t worry about what she did to Starlight Glimmer, by the way. My wife and I are working on something to get back at Queen Chrysalis. She’ll get her comeuppance soon enough, if you or others don’t beat us to it!”
Session 22.12 Alex Warlorn
"You better be joking BBBFF." Princess Twilight said simply. "Like it or not, Queen Chrysalis is still the leader of the changeling swarm, excuse me, her changeling swarm, and she still has diplomatic immunity. I don't like her either, and I understand completely what you mean that it would be so much simpler if we dealt with all our potential problems permanently like other species do. But look at Princess Luna, she's one of Equestria's greatest defenders again. Starlight isn't forcing her beliefs on anypony anymore, and is again somepony we can call on and Trixie... well... I've learned that I need to let go ... and bucking remember that the Trixie of one universe, is NOT the Trixie of another universe, and it's wrong to judge one by another. And Gilda? She's now the hoofhold of friendship in Griffenstone. Blueblood? YOU TOLD ME how it turned out he's a lot better at making friends when his classism isn't clouding his thinking. I've lost track of how many ponies wanted Prince Blueblood chained in a dungeon somewhere with water leaking in left to die alone in the dark."
Shining Armor cringed, so had he.
"And don't get started about Diamond Tiara, everypony was convinced she was going to be some monster when she grew up, now she's finally becoming a better filly. As for Flim and Flam... well... Granny Smith says they aren't ALL bad."
"Somepony doesn't have to be all bad to be a baddie."
"My point is, all those ponies, and griffin, that other ponies wanted to write off as beyond saving? They weren't. And if we start playing dirty to knock off potential threats... well, we wouldn't really be Equestria anymore ANYWAY."
"There's nothing 'potential' about Chrysalis' threat! I still say we use that super rainbow mode of yours and zap her brain like you did Discord."
"Oh my dear Shining Armor... if that garish overgrown crystal ornament cared more about harmony than freedom of will... I'd have been zapped when Celly and Lulu first did it."
"AGH!"
"DISCORD DON'T DO THAT!"
"Sorry, but you know me, I HAVE TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE!" Discord laughed as his face had appeared on one of the pieces, then grown to his true size, the actual piece appearing back in place and Discord standing on their chess set.
"Well learn to be more POLITE about it!" Twilight made clear.
"Did you HAVE TO take the zapper off him?" Shining Armor asked.
"Celestia said six months, it was six months, we had no right to keep it on him."
"And thank you for that, I'll have a phobia of power outlets when you ponies finally get around to inventing them. But my point is my little ponies, if that stupid looking tree was interested in just, blech, harmony and nothing else? Sweet little Starlight Glimmer-"
Twilight wondered why Discord never showed Starlight much hostility for Fluttershy being one of her victims, either he was nightmarish building it up, or Discord gave it a pass because it had lead Fluttershy to a situation where she needed to lie and manipulate for the greater good... a lot like what Starlight saw herself as doing.
"-would have been HELPED by that tree long before any of you!"
"WHAT?! That makes no sense!" Twilight declared. "Of course it doesn't make sense, it's you."
"Oh my sweet Twilight, give me SOME credit, I can be rational and have a goal and motive when I want them. Let me spell this out for you. While the Equal Ponies had to accept a much lower standard of living, Our Town was VERY harmonious! TO THE EXTREME!" Discord put on sun glasses and struck a 'kewl dude' pose while wearing a palm tree pattern shirt. "Everypony was happy, every pony getting along, every pony working together, everypony had a place. AND! No fighting, no hatred, you know, those things the windigos and sirens find so TASTY about you!" Discord made the 'tasty tasty' sound effect with his mouth. "They'd have starved to death. It was the definition of Harmony! In case you forgot, I literally ended up puking when I tried to get near the place on my... original day out... "
The death glare Shining Armor gave Discord made Twilight realize, she never found out what Discord had done to Shining Armor or Cadence on that terrible horrible unspeakable day! What HAD Discord done to them? Was Cadence immune due to harmony being part of her magic? Had her big brother been made into a coward? Twilight didn't want to think about it.
"So yes... if Harmony and ONLY Harmony was the only thing cared about by that tree you hadn't had to give your Elements to (OH! I just have to say that's SUCH a nice plan! Now they can't be stolen, but also if you girls get infected by some ancient evil water spring somewhere, they won't be able to give them to another group of friends who match their virtues to get you girls back to normal), then it wouldn't have sent you to ruin Starlight Glimmer's utopia. So yes... as much I am loath to admit, no, seriously, I feel like puking again just ADMITTING IT, and it fills me with rage and spite the likes of which you shall never know, that tree isn't as 'extreme' as I used to be when it came to my job in the universe. So it wouldn't do something like, change a entire population of changelings into whatever pony they happen to be at the time, like some crazy griffins insist all ponies want to do to every other species in existence."
It only disgusted Twilight that anypony could have such a distorted view of pony beliefs.
Discord calmed down and dusted himself off. "Well now that we have that little bit settled... I'd like to just point out one little thing." Discord put on a graduate cap and floated over a chalk board that hadn't been there before, putting on glasses and speaking in a thick Germane accent. He quickly began to write on it with chalk forming a 3-D picture.
"If we accept the existence of multiple universes, then the chances that somepony in one of those universes already created a universe destroying device with self-opening portals in a endless look outside the range of any arbitrary reality polices reaches one-to-one. However, we're all still here. Therefore, the universe themselves must have a natural means to protect themselves against such cancers."
Shining Armor wouldn't admit it in a thousand years, but that logic did make him feel slightly better.
"AND! For my next trick!" Discord put on a tuxedo and a top hat, and pulled a remote control, Twilight recognized them from the human world. "About those worlds that Starlight Glimmer not-so-accidentally created with her limited minded revenge scheme and her fantasy that all she had to do to get back her perfect life was keep you six from getting your cutie marks on that day..."
"What about them? The world is back to normal." Twilight said.
"Oh Twilight Twilight, didn't you listen to what I just said? If that stupid tree that can't take a joke wasn't willing to just have you zap everypony in Equestria to make him fit perfectly into the big puzzle on Celestia's coffee table... do you think it would erase a bunch of world from existence just for the sake of one?"
"Wait wait! You can't possibly mean-"
Discord pointed the remote at the world mirror, it fizzled like an old TV set, and it showed a battle field. A Rainbow Dash with a mechanical wing and a scar on her face, fighting along side Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Maud, and countless other ponies against King Sombra, and his slave army of mind controlled Crystal Ponies.
Rainbow Dash... she fought Sombra one on one, so fast her mechanical wing broke apart... but a flash of Rainbow Light... and... a new Alicorn Princess entered the world, and she blasted Sombra to pieces. The Crystal ponies slaves were free again... and the one who had been fighting Celestia took off her helmet... to reveal Cadence!?
Discord clicked again.
This time it was the rebel camp... as Twilight had fled... Zecora was no match for Chrysalis was brutally beaten back and impaled... and looked to see her ponies, HER PONIES, still looking to her for hope.
Again the flash of Rainbow Light, and the world's first Zebra Alicorn came into existence... and soon after, Queen Chrysalis was no more (Twilight did her best not to look at her brother's expression). And the ponies had a much greater fighting chance with their new Princess while the Queen's heirs fought among themselves for the throne.
Click again.
The bat-pony Rainbow Dash, guard of Nightmare Moon, wondering where she'd seen that purple Alicorn before... then she remembered... the race she never finished... the fight that excited her so much it inspired her to joint the royal guard... Madly searching for her... only to find the Twilight Sparkle of THAT WORLD... the mysterious 'Captain Smarty Pants', the alias she used on her fliers to inspire ponies to resist Nightmare Moon's rule. And the turning point for those who did not believe Nightmare Moon's words that being ruthless and brutal had made ponies 'better.' And rescuing Celestia's apprentice... Moon Dancer.
Click again.
Discord running amok, ruling Equestria in madness and chaos, Celestia and Luna as his personal court jesters. Only for the last pony Twilight ever expect to be the one to mangle Discord's plans, Sunset Shimmer! Was this the Sunset of the world Twilight knew?! But that was impossible! Sunset would have mentioned that! Did all these different timelines mean alternate timeline alternate universes?! This made her head hurt!
Click again.
Tirek... Except... six bearers... being led by... TRIXIE?! Struggling with the Alicorn Amulet... and finally reject cheap and fast power and almost becoming the tyrant to replace Tirek and instead choosing Harmony...
Click again.
Flim and Flam... Apple Bloom working for them? Ponies PROTECTING the Everfree from them? Apple Bloom reaching a peaceful reconciliation with the Princesses and recognizing both Equestria could not survive likes, but nor could ponies be expected to simply abandon the standard of living they'd gained.
Click again.
Finally... the Ashlands... dead and broken... except... she saw a yellow hoof brush away the ashes, revealing a small green sprout rising up at her touch.
Discord turned the screen off.
"DISCORD WHAT WAS ALL THAT?! WAS ALL THAT REAL!?"
"SOMEWHERE it MIGHT be real... maybe I'm just pulling your leg, maybe I just made all that up, maybe every single thing I told you was true. Maybe that was just SOME of the ways it all went right. Unless I keep you guessing, I'm being a proper spirit of chaos now am I? Now excuse me, I have a game of Bunnies and Burrows to play with Angel, Fluttershy, Buttons, Starlight and Trixie... care to join us Shining Armor?"
"Not in this life time!"
"I'll remember that. Bye." Discord teleported away.
+
Back at her castle... Chrysalis awoke in great discomfort from another of her nightmares... of being a completely happy person with friends who was fighting a winning battle against an evil overlord... What terrified Chrysalis more than anything, was that if this kept happening... what if she began to like it? This terrified Chrysalis more than anything... If not outright disgust her. If Luna was behind this, at least Chrysalis could handle dreams of being a pony being fed on by changelings, it was the cycle of life after all... Griffins were freaks to have abandoned their natural diet of pony meat.
+
Somewhere else, between walking and nursing and diaper changing Flurry Heart, Cadence was reading in bed a book titled 'How To Make Your Husband An Immortal Alicorn When You Are And He Isn't'.
1000 years later
Discord knocked on the front door of the Crystal Palace.
Princess Flurry Heart opened the door. "Hey Unc'."
"Hello dear... uh... "
"Daddy wants to know if your daddy will let him play O&O yet!" Said a yellow furred creature that appeared to be a mix between pony and draconequus. She fluttered between Discord and Flurry Heart.
Flurry Heart used the Royal Canterlot Voice. "MOM! Discord wants to play 0&0 68.75! Will dad let him?"
"Agh! Fine! If it'll get him to stop asking!"
"See dear? That wasn't so hard was it?" Queen Cadence said. She'd totally forgiven him 800 years ago.. give or take a century.
Session 22.13 Ardashir (with edits)
Starlight thought, 'Well, at least that went better than the last time I was caught by changelings after Twilight threw out of my own home.'
Starlight writhed inside a Changeling cocoon. "HMMPH!"
The pudgy nymph poked her. "Can me eat crazy pony, mommy?"
Starlight's eyes went wide as she starts to sweat.
Queen Chrysalis said, "No, my rotund little horror, don't eat that. You don't know where she's been."
+
Shining Armor didn't know what was crazier, that Cadence had gotten this idea, or that Chrysalis had agreed to it.
Shiny was now helping Gaffer and his buddies playtest a game together with some Changeling nymphs. With the nymphs being in awe of the big scary pony who'd beaten up Queen Chrysalis.
"You beated-ed Supreme Hive Queen Chrysa - Criss -- Big Rump?" Asked one of the nymphs.
Shining Armor shifted uncomfortably. "Er, yes, but I'd rather not -- wait, what was that you called her?"
"Big Rump! It what daddies and mommies in swarm call her when Queen not around! Also tyrant, in-comp-pay-tent, old ugly, big fat bit --" *His mouth shuts as Shiny hurriedly sticks some honey candy in it. He does the same for the other hungry little 'lings.*
Gaffer grinned. "Gee, sounds like you and Cadance will have some wonderful new nicknames to share with Chrysalis the next time she does O&O with you."
Shining Armor said politely. "Only if her succubus rogue shapeshifts into Cadance's character and starts seducing every stallion in sight again, and she tries LARPing it."
Session 22.14 Kendell2 (Alex Warlorn: These events may or may not have happened, or may or may not will happen, who knows? I don't.)
"MAHAHA!" cackled Chrysalis, entering the room. "I've finally done it!"
Cadence and Shining blinked, looking at her. "What?"
Chrysalis produced a Changeling egg. "This egg contains my fourth heir! The Changeling Doctor has confirmed that she will be totally bereft of genetic defects and is for all intents genetically perfect! I've FINALLY got an heir worthy of my glory!...And if he's wrong, I'm going to eat him. Slowly."
Cadence and Shining looked at each other worriedly for a moment. "...Do we WANT to know how you managed that?"
"Eh, probably not...This may be the one Changeling to ever be born, other than my mother, that is superior to me! You will see! She will be the greatest Changeling Queen in history! How could she be anything but?"
---
50 Years Later
"Isn't it wonderful?" Flurry Heart asked, sitting at tea while playing a friendly game of O&O with a Changeling that looked like a kinder, more beautiful version of Chrysalis.
"Yes! It's so wonderful my hive are finally fully symbiotic with pony kind instead of parasites! My grandma is so proud!" the Changeling Queen replied in a sweet, cheerful voice.
Chrysalis watched from a distance (now having passed the throne after her daughter Imago defeated her in a royal challenge but then her little sister Aponi defeated HER for the throne to SAVE Chrysalis) and snarled at the old, wheelchair bound Changeling doctor. "You said she was perfect! What happened?!"
The doctor blinked. "You mean the sociopathy WASN'T an imperfection?"
---
"...We'll arrange a playdate with Flurry Heart," Cadence muttered.
"...Why aren't you cowering in fear?"
"Because your mother is as sweet as you're rotten, maybe it skips a generation," Cadence snarked back.
Session 22.15 MtangaLion
Rainbow Dash flew into Ponyville as fast as the World of Horsecraft game engine would allow, and then some. "Hey, Gilda!" She opened a trade window. "Check these out!"
Gilda completed the trade and read the tooltips, perplexed. "Buffalo Firewater? Oh yeah, I remember those from when I was a pony. Plus eight strength and your character model gets bigger, but it only lasts a few minutes."
"But did you know about... this?" Dash drank three of them one after another, and her pegasus grew even bigger than the griffon beside her.
"Whoa!" said Gilda. "The size buff stacks? That's probably not supposed to happen."
"Don't know, don't care!" Dash and Gilda shared a naughty grin and started guzzling the Firewaters.
Just down the street, Button Mash was on his new colt ranger, playing with a crystal train set (a collectable in-game toy), when an ominous winged shadow made him look up and shriek.
"Heh, heh," gloated Gilda. "Look out below!" The giant griffon started to step down... very slowly. Button Mash had plenty of time to scamper away. "Hey, what gives? I'm moving in slow motion here!"
Dash's equally giant blue pegasus was also trotting like she was wading through molasses. "It's happening to me too!"
"Actually," said a unicorn mage brightly, "you're moving at exactly the same speed as any other player character. It just looks like you're moving slowly because your character model is oversized." She had a light purple coat, and her mane was dark purple with a luminous blue stripe, as if it had been squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste.
"Is that so..." Gilda squinted, reading the name floating above the mage's head. "Equal Rites? Well, how about..." She tried to stomp on the auction house, but her talons clipped through the wall. "Aw man, I can't destroy things either?"
Equal Rites chuckled. "Again, you're a perfectly average griffon warrior with an oversized model. And plus eight strength. I mean, come on, this isn't Star Trek. There's no way you can destroy the buildings in Ponyville if that isn't specifically coded into the game."
Gilda scowled. "Hey, I'm way better than just average!"
Rainbow Dash blinked at Equal Rites. "How come you're not in a guild? You seem pretty smart. Want to join ours?"
The mage hesitated, peering up at them. "I don't know... I've had bad luck with guilds in the past. Is your guild fair, with everybody having a say? No tinpot teenage dictator for a guild master?"
"Nah, Shining's not like that. He's cool."
Gilda leaned towards her friend. "Dash, I'm not sure I want her yapping about equal this and fair that in guild chat all the time..."
"You know," mused Equal Rites, "these Firewaters wear off pretty fast, but you could get even bigger if you used a macro to drink them faster..."
Gilda blinked, then grinned evilly, kneading her talons. "Then again, maybe we could get along."
In Lead Developer Discord's office at CrystalSoft, an alarm started blaring on his computer, startling him out of a nice afternoon nap. "What? Eh?" He squinted at the monitor, yawning. "Fun was detected? Players are having fun in a way that was not intended?"
Discord cracked his knuckles, then spawned an invisible GM character on the realm with the problem. Lo and behold, Ponyville was a madhouse on the Harmony server. A colossal griffon and pegasus were /dancing in the town square, totally blocking the auction house and the mailbox, and ignoring all the angry ponies telling them to knock it off in all-caps. His face lit up. "Oh ho! I know just what to do about this!"
He moved his mouse cursor over towards the big button labelled "BAN" ... past that button, and the one marked "NERF" ... to click on "Record Video." "I wonder what the last lead developer set up that alarm for. Ah well, probably not important."