//------------------------------// // Bonus Chapter: I Know Him // Story: You'll Be Back // by Jade Ring //------------------------------// UNITED STATES OF EQUESTRIA CELEBRATES SILVER ANNIVERSARY! Director Pinkie Pie, soon to retire Chief of the Department of Celebrations and Smiles, promises a year-long celebration! 25 YEARS OF PEACE AND PROSPERITY! The United Nations unveils statue dedicated to it's founder, Princess Cadance! CHANGELINGS WELCOMED INTO THE U.N.! OFFERED LAND IN THE EAST! Assembled delegates of the United Nations greet her majesty Queen Chrysalis with thunderous applause! EVERFREE FOREST 100% SAFE AND READY TO BE COLONIZED, TOP SCIENTISTS PROCLAIM! "After we learned to talk to the creatures there, it was just a matter of time." Says Dr. Fluttershy of the Department of Peaceful Progress! PRINCESS FLURRY HEART OF THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE TO WED ROME APPLE, FIRST SON OF FORMER PRESIDENT APPLEJACK! Celebration expected to last three weeks in two seperate countries! APPLE STOCK SKYROCKETS AFTER ACQUISITION OF FLIM-FLAM INDUSTRIES! CEO Applebloom unable to be reached for comment while she vacations in the Filly Islands! AMBASSADOR SPIKE HINTS AT THE LONG AWAITED POSSIBILITY OF THE DRAGON-LANDS JOINING THE U.N.! "The Dragon-Lord, Lady Ember, has been quite receptive to recent moves on the part of yours truly." GENERAL RAINBOW DASH RETIRES WITH FULL HONORS! Film about her tremendous victory at Stalliongrad, "Iron Wing," expected to smash box office records! FORMER VICE PRESIDENT, SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY, SECRETARY OF STATE, SENATOR, AND SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE TWILIGHT SPARKLE ALREADY HINTING AT SEVENTH RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY! "I'll get it one of these days." Elder statesmare proclaims with a manic glint in her eye! BILLIONAIRE FILTHY RICH REFLECTS ON HOW HE LOST THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE! "Perhaps saying that I would be dating Diamond Tiara if she wasn't my daughter was a mistake." CANTERLOT NOW THE ONLY CITY-STATE NOT LEANING TOWARDS JOINING THE U.N.! The strong-hold of Celestianism remains quiet after numerous envoys from multiple presidents! THOUSANDS TURN OUT FOR INAUGURATION OF PRESIDENT PIPSQUEAK! First Lady Scootaloo dazzles in a Rarity original! SHOCKING OVERNIGHT DELIVERY ON THE EVE OF INAUGURATION! A letter from Princess Celestia herself published here in it's entirety! To my beloved (former) subjects, I know a great many of you are hoping that this letter means that all your wishes have come true, that your (formerly) beloved monarch has finally come around on things and has decided to let bygones be bygones and join your adorable little United Nations. Sadly no, as the last twenty five years have done little to seethe the burning anger in my soul every time I look down on you all from my increasingly dusty castle. You're developing democracy has actually become my greatest source of amusement, infuriating as that is. I have watched each new development with a keen eye. "Surely this will be the one that spells your doom" I tell myself with every choice you make, but no; you somehow continue to thrive. I mean, for the love of Me you actually welcomed in the Changelings. The CHANGELINGS. THE BUG MONSTERS THAT FEED ON YOUR LOVE AND CAN HIDE AMONGST YOU PERFECTLY. YOU WELCOMED THEM. AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENED. WHAT?! ... WHAT?! Ahem. Sorry, I haven't used this dictation spell in quite some time. Not many calls for royal decrees anymore, are there? Well, that's not fair. As your press is so fond of pointing out, there are a few hundred hold-outs still living in Canterlot. I'm still not sure how I feel about the idea that thinking I'm the best thing ever qualifies as a religion, but here we are. And it is rather nice being worshiped again. Reminds me of the old days. Which reminds me; I really must stop them before they start sacrificing ponies to me this time around. So yes, the Celestianists and I take great interest with every step forward your new nation takes, taking bets on whether or not this will be the step where you trip and fall on your collective, stupid faces. I thought for sure it would happen when Applejack stepped down. Insane, really. A pony with that much power just stepping away. Why? Because she was tired? Ludicrous. "Here it comes," I thought. "Civil war." But no. You just had another election and and chose another president. I wasn't aware that was something somepony could do. I was perplexed. I wondered if you were just going to keep on replacing whoever was in charge. Wouldn't that cause turmoil? Infighting? Differing ideologies causing a cultural shift in the very nature of your growing superpower? Even now, decades later, and I'm still not sure how you continue to dance on the rain-slick precipice of disaster time and time again and manage to duck between the raindrops of chaos and war. It probably helps that you have that traitorous Discord on your side. But this time is different. This time you've done something that will one hundred percent blow up in your faces. You've elected a new president, and his name is Pipsqueak. I know him. That can't be. That's that little colt who used to come and play with Luna almost thirty years back. That poor colt. They're going to eat him alive. I watched his whole campaign. Nothing but wishes and hopes and dreams and other nonsense that has nothing to do how the world really works. Does he really think those campaign promises he made are going to pass in that collection of self-serving simpletons you call a Congress? Not a chance in Tartarus. When I told Luna, the poor dear just started giggling hysterically and bolted from the room. I haven't seen her since. I should really see how she's holding up. Just a moment. ... Well. It would appear that my sister has defected. This letter she left behind seems to indicate that she has been negotiating said defection for some time with your new president. ... I've lost my subjects. I've lost my kingdom. I've lost respect and admiration and love. ... And now I've lost my sister as well. ... Forgive me. I've just realized how much my voice echoes in the castle these days. ... I could destroy you all, you know. Yes. That is something I could do. I could wreak destruction and fury upon your houses, upon your pathetic little nation. I could use the sun's flames as the purging light of justice and erase any trace of this past quarter of a century from existence itself. I could force you all back into subjugation and simply do away with any and all who would continue to oppose me. I could kick-start one thousand years of misery and servitude the likes of which you could never even dream! I COULD REDUCE THIS VERY WORLD TO THE ATOMS THAT CAME BEFORE AND START ANEW. IT WOULD TAKE MILLIONS OF YEARS, BUT I HAVE NOTHING BUT TIME! A FRESH START! A NEW BEGINNING! AND THEN... And then... ... And then, in time, this would all happen again, wouldn't it? Because that's the way of the world. Oceans rise, empires fall... and one thing stays the same. Me. I stay the same. But you don't. You never have. You grow and you thrive, you succeed and you fail, you live and you die. You are ever-changing and ever-flowing. Maybe it's time that I tried going with that flow instead of standing in the way of it as I always have before. Maybe this time, you might finally get everything right. ... Well, maybe not this time. Because, seriously; President Pipsqueak?! You'll all be wallowing in misery and warfare by this time next year. Mark my words; you'll be back yet. President Pipsqueak? Hmph. Good luck. Princess Celestia of Canterlot