"So, do you come here often?"
Kel'Thuzad deadpanned to the shaking mare, her small, portly form shivering. From his body temperature, or the terror of his appearance, he didn't know. But, he did know two things.
One, she would probably remember an archlich if one HAD ever entered HER establishment.
Two, she had just asked the same question to him for the third time this hour.
"My lady, you do not need to keep me company, if you do not wish it." Kel'Thuzad smiled, attempting to sound as reassuring and friendly as a thousand year-old lich could. Mrs. Cake nodded, and nearly scrambled away from him, going to tend to another group nearby.
Chuckling sadly, the archlich gazed around the rather small front dining area, which had been refurbished temporarily into a winter wonderland, complete with giant candy canes and a refreshment table composed entirely of hardened gingerbread.
But he wasn't interested in the room, no.
Kel'Thuzad wanted someone to talk to.
ANYONE.
But, from the looks of it, the rest of the room, save a select few were terrified of him, even turning their backs to the archlich as if he wasn't there.
A small group of guards and ugh...
Nobles...
The small group surrounded the recently returned Royal Sisters. Lal'theron stuck to his solar partner's side like glue, a look of utter awareness CONSTANTLY adorning his seemingly expressionless face.
Kel'Thuzad knew his brother. He was intently eyeing these pathetic nobles and their petty squabbles to his marefriend and her sister.
Heh. As much as I dislike Celestia, I REALLY want Lal to marry her. Another undead prince would be quite the smack to the face for superstitious and snobbish nobles.
His gaze turned slightly, his scarlet pupils scanning the room for anyone else he knew.
Titus was sharing a drink nearby with a group of other ponies, a particular noble catching his eye almost immediately.
Mostly because he was half-glaring at him, wearing a look he had come to know well...
Ah... it's sickeningly refreshing to know that racism is still present, even in this happy little world...
With a smirk, the lich turned his massive body towards the group, floating gently towards them. As he approached, the stallion who's face was recently caught in a glaring fashion at turned to a smile.
"Ah. You must be Lord Kel'Thuzad!" the stallion jovially greeted, holding up a single hoof to the lich. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
"Likewise, Prince Blueblood..." the archlich darkly greeted, his claw not moving to accept the snob's hoof. Blueblood chuckled nervously, his hoof falling back to the floor. Kel'Thuzad stole a glance back at Titus, who's face revealed that he was just as sick of the stallion as the lich was, and he had just gotten there.
Of course the archlich knew ALL about 'Prince' Blueblood. The stallion that Rarity was infatuated with, but when asked for a date, the snob was a pig, caring only for himself and himself alone.
While the lich was FAR from perfect, he liked to think of himself as a gentleman, and even when he was under Arthas' iron rule, Kel'Thuzad usually saved the extensive and brutal tortures for men, not women and children. In fact, the VERY few prisoners of war kept aboard Naxxramas were kept well fed, bathed, and cared for, despite orders to execute them if the ransom was not given.
The Scourge was, after all, an empire. Empires had expenses...
Anyway, the lich already loathed nobility, and the stallion in front of him reeked of narcissism.
No doubt he knew Fire Fight, either...
"Titus here tells me you are quite the archmage..." Blueblood smirked. "Care to show an example?"
Kel'Thuzad's expressionless face rose, joy blanketing his skull.
Dear gods... whatever I have done... thank you.
"What would you like to see, my prince?" Kel'Thuzad bowed, which seemed to please the snob. Blueblood chuckled.
Stupid fool...
"Anything will do. Just make it... different." Blueblood went back to drinking his wine, while waiting for the lich to choose his... trick.
Time to roast the pig, then...
Kel'Thuzad chuckled, muttering an incantation under his meaningless breath.
With a sickening squelch, and then a throaty gagging sound, the lich shoved a chain through the prince, the brittle metal exiting his mouth with a choke. Using portals, Kel'Thuzad had made a straight pathway through the snob's intestines, the stallion effectively impaled on the magical metal snake.
Harmless, yes. But INCREDIBLY uncomfortable...
With a kick of his hooves, and an outraged gurgle of spit and bile, the prince was lifted by the chains stuck through his body magically. The stallion was levitated to stare the lich in the face, the look of outrage adorning his muzzle being quickly replaced with fear.
"How about that magic trick?" Kel'Thuzad grinned, the stallion attempting to break free of the metal snake penetrating his entire body. "Let's get something straight, PIG. I am not a servant, a jester for you to gawk and laugh at. Got it?" he smirked. The prince nodded as much as he could.
"Good."
With a choking, sputtering gag, the lich yanked the chain out of the stallion's guts. Titus smirked at his friend's actions, and jumped to restart the conversation before the prince could further escalate the situation. As the lich turned his head to look for new company, he caught sight of a rather amused Rarity across the room, laughing hysterically as her friends tried to find out what was so funny.
Kel'Thuzad sighed in triumph, floating over to a group that included his master and new apprentice. They were currently exchanging hugs with an older looking stallion and mare, Cadence waiting her turn behind them, a smile decorating her muzzle as the siblings greeted the newcomers.
Ugh... their parents...
Putting on a smile, and warming his bones to room temperature if they wanted a hoofshake, or gods forbid, a hug, the archlich sped up, and thought up an excuse to butt into the conversation. As he approached, the father's muzzle took on an look of utter fascination. The mother's however, turned to terror as his massive magically constructed body approached.
"S-Shiny... behind you..." the mare squeaked, her form hiding behind her husband's. Shining turned to his archmage, and laughed, earning a chuckle from Kel'Thuzad as well at the awkwardness of the situation.
"Mom, dad. I want you to meet my good friend and archmage, Kel'Thuzad." Shining presented, with a raised hoof pointing towards the massive skeletal mage. Kel'Thuzad lost the smile, and took on a serious look for several moments, before bowing in respect to the duo.
"A pleasure." Kel'Thuzad's voice droned, earning another squeak from the mare. Night Light laughed, and held up a hoof to the archlich, catching him off guard with he friendly gesture. Gently, Kel'Thuzad accepted, shaking the comparatively small hoof with his claw.
"The pleasure is mine, archmage. Shining has told me quite a bit about you." Night Light nuzzled his mate, before gently pushing her out from behind him. She squirmed, attempting to stay away from the lich, but her husband's insistence forced her away from him, into the archlich's quite amused gaze.
Kel'Thuzad bowed to the mare, attempting to slink as low to the floor as he could, without looking ridiculous, of course. The mare blushed at the wizard's gentle and polite demeanor.
"I... It's a pleasure, Lord Kel'Thuzad..." Twilight Velvet whimpered, her form curtsying to the archlich. Kel'Thuzad chuckled in return to the mare's terror.
"My lady, I won't bite." He murmured. His skull curving into an eerie smile using magic.
"I... I'm sorry, Lord Kel'Thuzad. Y-You're just... so... so..."
"Scary? Terrifying? Haunting? Miss Sparkle, you'll have to try harder than that to insult me." he smirked, chuckles rising from the group. Twilight Velvet blushed intensely, her hooves pawing at the ground.
"Come on, darling. Let's go get a drink." Night laughed. He turned to a highly amused archlich, who was just holding back laughter. "It was a pleasure, Kel'Thuzad. We'll have to get to know eachother later." he bowed, followed by the lich's returning bow.
"Of course. Shining has told me that you are a magical researcher?" Kel'Thuzad asked.
Night Light nodded.
"Yes, I'm the head researcher of their Royal Highness' magical documentation force. We document magical anomalies and artifacts for study or restriction." he nodded. Kel'Thuzad smirked.
No doubt he'll want to study me, then...
"Well then, I better get the missus a drink before she faints." he chuckled, before being literally dragged away from the group, Twilight and Shining holding embarrassed looks on their faces.
"I'm sorry about that, Kel. Mom's usually... more open." Shining explained.
"Not a problem at all. I'm kind of used to it by now." Kel'Thuzad explained.
"ALL RIGHT EVERYONE! PRESENT TIME!!!!" Pinkie's voice screamed from behind the archlich.
Ugh... why does she always have to be so loud...
.........
The presents were all rather mundane.
Kel'Thuzad was starting to think that he may have gone a little overboard, but he reasoned with himself that it would help cement his trust by the locals, seeing as most of them saw him as a monster rather than a person, despite their ruler's insistence.
"KELLY! YOUR TURN!"
Well... time to shine, then.
With the small pink pony's introduction, the lich floated forwards into the small clearing in the center of the room. A mix of stares and glares took up the majority of the room as he did, but he pressed on.
"Thank you, Pinkie."
Kel'Thuzad then waved his claws slightly, a bluish flame echoing his movements, before forming a small box on the floor below him. With another flick of his wrist, the bow flipped open, the iron latch clanging as it did.
"Before we start, I would like to thank... all of you. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for your friendship and hospitality, but I hope these gifts suffice." Kel'Thuzad grinned, and chuckles rose from the room.
"Okay... Fluttershy." Kel'Thuzad droned, raising a long, slender object from the box, to the amazement of the crowd.
Had they never seen magical containers?
"Fluttershy, for you, I have a relic of my past."
Unraveling the long present, a large staff was revealed. Fluttershy herself was perplexed by item. A model of an elk's head decorated the top, but several large feathers hung from the shaft, as well.
"This is the last staff that I used before I... well... lost my legs." he chuckled, causing another few laughs to rise from the room. "Anyway, befitting your love of nature and animals alike, I present to you this gift. Journey's End, the last uncorrupted Twig of Vordrassil, the World Tree. While you carry it, animals and nature alike will not harm you. In fact, they will adore you..." Kel'Thuzad smiled, handing the near-weightless staff to the mare, who thanked the lich profusely before returning to her seat nearby.
"Rarity, you're next." Kel'Thuzad smiled, the mare excitedly trotting forwards to him. With a single hand, the lich levitated a ring before her, making her gasp.
"Kel... it's... beautiful..." she swooned, her eyes lidded at the sight of the ruby ring, the band of silver glinting in the hearth across the room.
"Rarity, to you, I give the Ring of Decaying Beauty. Once the life's work of an aspiring enchantress, it will freeze your body in time, forever immortalizing your image, so long as you wear it." Kel'Thuzad levitated the ring to the unicorn's horn, and Rarity froze up for a second. A shiver ran over her body, before her fur settled down, and she looked at herself.
"Darling... I don't feel any different..." Rarity smiled uneasily, looking up at the lich. He chuckled.
"Of course you don't. But you will keep this form until the day you die, so long as you wear the ring. In short, your beauty will never be marred by the ravages of time..." Kel'Thuzad bowed, only to be embraced by the unicorn, tears flowing from her eyes.
"Thank you for the gift, Kel'Thuzad." Rarity sobbed, quite obviously overwhelmed by the gift. Kel'Thuzad chuckled, embracing the small mare to his ribcage.
"You're welcome, my dear. Enjoy it." he smiled, watching the unicorn skip away to her friends, happily dancing in place. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught something, however.
He caught what was easily the most menacing and loathing glare he had ever received.
And he had been given MORE than a few.
The source, however, threw him for a loop.
The source originated from the diminutive form of Spike, his teeth bared in a growl.
Well... someone has a crush...
Filing a mental note to talk to Spike about it later, he moved on.
"Rainbow."
In a flash, the lich was face-to-face with the speedster, her form excitedly shivering. Kel'Thuzad laughed, before raising what looked like a blanket from the box. Rainbow lowered herself to the ground, but was quickly overtaken by the cloak, the lich pinning it to her magically. Before she could squirm, the cloak... warmed her.
Strangely.
It was like all cold was suddenly sucked from her body.
"Kel, what is this?" Rainbow asked, lifting the weightless cape up to his view. Kel'Thuzad laughed at her reaction before explaining.
"Rainbow, to you I give the Cloak of the Necropolis. An enchanted cape, it effectively makes you immune to the bite of the cold."
Kel could barely stop himself from laughing as Rainbow rocketed past him, flying out into the air outside to test it.
"Okay... Applejack." Kel'Thuzad hesitantly spoke, causing the country mare to trot forwards, form tense from being so close to the cold archlich's body.
"For you, Applejack, I have something... a little different." Kel'Thuzad claimed, his claw reaching into the box. He withdrew what looked like a hand axe, but was large enough to be a battleaxe to the pony. "I give you Death's Bite, the first and ONLY soul-bound axe. Forged by yours truly, it can cut through nearly anything, be it dead apple trees or timberwolves..."
"I... well... thank you, Kel." Applejack admitted. Her gift, while unorthodox, would be very useful...
"You're welcome, Applejack." Kel'Thuzad spoke.
Applejack went back to her friends, her rune axe in tow. Coughing lightly, Kel called the next pony up.
"Pinkie Pie."
"Ya, Kelly?" with a start, the lich whirled around, to finds the party pony behind him. Grumbling something under his breath, the lich reached into his box, pulling out a single thin stick.
"Pinkie, to you, I give a wand. A wand that can be used to conjure any pastry you can imagine. But only one at a time." Kel smiled. Pinkie being Pinkie, immediately tried it. With a wave of her new wand, a cookie the size of Kel'Thuzad's skull popped into existence before her, making her squeal happily before jumping to embrace him.
"THANK YOU!" Pinkie exclaimed, before running to take her cookie away, and return to her friends.
Kel'Thuzad turned to the last of the girls.
"Twilight."
Sheepishly, the unicorn mare trotted forwards, sitting before the massive form of the archlich.
"Twilight, that book I gave you is precious to me. I am sorry for not giving it to you in person, but I hope you accept it."
Twilight shook her head, chuckling quietly. She embraced the lich, causing Kel'Thuzad to embrace her as well.
"Happy Hearth's Warming, Twilight." Kel'Thuzad smiled, turning to the rest of the room. The mare nodded, and returned the phrase. Kel'Thuzad turned to his brother and the two alicorns next to him.
"Celestia, Lal'theron. For you, I have well wishes and a gift. Unfortunately, it is far from ready at the moment. I will get it to you at the earliest I possibly can." he smiled, causing his brother to laugh.
"Take your time, Kel. No rush." he said, cuddling close to his marefriend. Kel'Thuzad smiled at his brother's happiness, before turning to Luna.
"Luna, to you I give the Hammer of the Astral Plane, pulled from the depths of a structure outside of Ulduar..." with a heave, the lich placed the hammer before her, her eyes lighting up in wonder at the intricate gold and cobalt designs blanketing it.
"Thank you, Kel'Thuzad. It's beautiful." she assured, heaving it with a little difficulty into the air. To her surprise, it was surprisingly light once it was before her, and she swung it several times to test it, a hum of power following each swing.
Kel'Thuzad turned to his masters, ready to give his gifts to them.
.........
.........
.........
But something made his nonexistent blood boil.
Something he had hoped would not happen at such a joyous event. But alas, it had.
In a roar that caught the room off-guard, the double doors and windows were frozen over, sealing entrance and exit to the establishment. Titus must have seen it too, as he had his pistol pulled, and was scanning the crowd.
"Kel'Thuzad, what are... you..." Shining argued, quite obviously concerned about his archmage's actions. But he found he could not move his right foreleg properly.
The answer became clear.
Near his right jugular vein, a shortsword was impaled into him, probably blocking his bone's movement.
.........
With a heave, the Lich King drew Frostmourne, before joining his archmage and captain of the guard in searching for the assassin.