A Beginner's Guide to Heroism

by LoyalLiar

Foreword

Greetings.

The book you hold in your hooves, wings, mouth, magic, non-Euclidean tentacles, or sundry gripping appendages contains the story of a young unicorn framed for murder and driven from his home rising up to defeat the disembodied spirit of a powerful and cruel nemesis.  If you picked this tome up by mistake, I would encourage you to stay anyway. This story is more interesting than whatever you were actually looking for.  I guarantee it.

Just make a note to have a strongly-worded conversation with the nearest librarian once you’re done.

Those of you who did come looking for my story deliberately may be aware that I have something of a reputation as a wizard.  That being said, this little tome of mine is not titled A Beginner’s Guide To Wizardry.  It is not an arcane treatise or, Celestia forbid, a textbook—I don't measure the quality of my work by the frequency of readers falling asleep, nor the physical mass of this book for use as “Exhibit B” in a murder trial.  As a result, I’ve tried my best to keep my rote explanations of magical theory to the strictly narratively necessary.  If you are in search of vast arcane power, I would encourage you to seek out a mentor like Celestia, rather than a book.

I should also tell you before I begin that what you are about to read is not meant to be a perfectly accurate record.  I don't remember exactly every word spoken all those years ago.  What I did capture accurately are the broad events and the mood.  I might not have said exactly what you are about to read, but I was just as suave and charismatic as I seem.

Now that we’ve gotten all that tedious dithering out of the way, allow me to introduce myself.  In the interest of avoiding spoilers, and the very real risk of running out of ink, I will refrain from listing my titles, save one.  I was, and remain, a necromancer.  If the concept of such a pony fulfilling a title like ‘A Beginner’s Guide to Heroism’ is beyond your imagination, I implore you to read further; after all, how else can I be expected to change your mind?

My name is Mortal Coil, and this is my story.