Derpy glared at the bundle of fabric sitting on her bed. It was pretty fabric - a light blue - and really soft. Unfortunately, it also seemed to be on a mission to drive Derpy insane.
She grabbed a bit of the fabric and shook it out so it was more or less flat instead of bundled up. She was going to fold that fitted sheet if it killed her.
“Alright, you turn the sheet inside out. That’s simple. Now I put one hoof in that corner and one in the next corner.”
Derpy was now balanced on her hind legs, the sheet hanging down from her front hooves.
“Now I need to put that corner inside the other corner.” Derpy brought her hooves together and managed to put one corner inside of the other.
“So far, so good.” She glanced down at the two corners down near the ground. “But how am I supposed to get those two corners together?”
After a bit of thinking, Derpy decided to carefully lay the sheet down on the floor, being careful not to pull apart the corners that she had matched together. She walked around the sheet to the unmatched corners and stuffed one corner into the other. Derpy grinned. She’d done it!
She looked at the other end of the sheet and her face fell. She’d managed to pull apart the first two corners while she was working on the other two corners. Maybe if she stood on one end while she worked on the other end? That might work. She placed her back hooves on the matched end of the sheet, being careful to put one hoof on top of the paired corners so they couldn’t pull apart. She carefully walked her front hooves along the sheet, being careful to keep her rear legs firmly in pace. Just a little bit more-- “Umph!” Derpy fell flat on her belly, all four legs splayed out and pulling the sheet with them.
Derpy banged her head against the floor and sighed. Time for a new plan. Maybe she should just try to pretend the elastic corners didn’t exist.
She straightened the sheet out on the floor, but this time she pulled the edges in a few inches on all sides, so the stretchy parts were no longer at the corners of the rectangle. Now she didn’t have to worry about trying to fit any corners into each other. She could just fold it like the flat sheet. It was brilliant!
Or not. A few minutes later she had two folded sheets sitting next to each other on her bedroom floor. The flat sheet was folded into a tidy square. The fitted sheet...wasn’t. Now, it shouldn’t have been that difficult. Just fold it in half multiple times until it was a nice square shape. So why did it look more like an inflated circle than a flat square? Maybe she just needed to compress it a bit.
Turning around she plopped her butt onto the rebellious sheet. She bounced up and down on it a few times, just to make sure it was as flat as possible. This had to work.
Derpy stood up, turned around, and glared at the sheet, just daring it to defy her. Evidently her glare wasn’t terrifying enough, since the sheet immediately started to puff up again. It was probably her eyes. Maybe if her eyes weren’t all wonky, it would have taken her glare more seriously.
Enough was enough. Derpy jumped up and down on the sheet a few times and then kicked it across the room. The sheet hit the wall and slid down to land in a crumpled heap on the floor. Derpy turned her back on the evil bundle of fabric and walked out of the room.
She returned a few minutes later with a small shipping box and a roll of tape. She taped the bottom of the box closed and set the box on the floor next to the possessed sheet. She picked up the sheet with her mouth and dropped it onto the box and started to shove it in.
“You”
Shove.
“are going”
Shove.
“to be a square”
Shove.
“one way”
Shove.
“or another.”
It was a tight fit, but the sheet was finally stuffed into the small box. She lifted her hooves and quickly slammed the box flaps down. Holding the flaps in place with one hind hoof, she used her front hooves to securely tape the box closed.
Derpy grinned at the box. “That’ll teach you to disobey me.” She told the package.
She grabbed the box and the neatly folded flat sheet and put them away in the linen closet. Closing the closet door, she trotted cheerfully back towards her bedroom.
*pop, rustle*
Derpy froze. That was the unmistakable sound of a box coming untaped.
“Why you little #$%!”