Fallout Equestria: Misfits

by DancingOnTheAshes

Chapter 1: Beginnings.

Fallout Equestria: Misfits

By DancingOnTheAshes

Chapter 1: Beginnings.
"Celestia help me, I was only nineteen."

"Snakebite!  Are you done dealing with that ghoul yet?"  My boss hollered from outside the store. The tough stallions impatient voice sounded like he was about to pull my legs off if I didn’t hurry.

"Urrgh. Sorry about that Ditzy,"  I said to the shopkeeper as I levitated out the last of the bottle-caps and laid them on the counter.  "Next time I'm in the area I’d like to buy some more Buck Flower and Canter Root if you've gotten a fresh supply in."

The odd wall-eyed, ghoul pegasus nodded and scribbled on her chalkboard.  'Won't be a problem at all.'

I nodded and stuffed my newly acquired medical supplies into my saddlebags.  As I exited I gave a hoof-wave.  "You take care now, Ditzy,”  I raised my voice slightly to address the ghouls... adopted? Daughter.   “You be careful too, kid."

The mute ghoul gave a silent wave and a smile. The young lavender, unicorn filly stacking shelves almost lost her balance as she shouted back to me.  "I will. Come by again soon, mister."

I closed the door behind me as I trotted down Absolutely Everything's front steps.  ‘Trader’s Caravan’ waited for me in New Appleloosa's main street.  It was made up of three big, armored wagons drawn by two equally armored brahmin (a two-headed, mutant cow) each.  The caravan was defended by armed guards on the roofs and two griffins flying overhead.  The convoy carrying its owners name was one of the most secure trading caravans in the wastes.  Its crew was in the last stages of packing and almost ready to roll out.  As I neared a large, grizzled, khaki stallion with a cigar in his mouth wandered up to me.

"Luna dammit, Snakebite,”  He yelled at me.  “I was just about to leave you and hire somepony else to act as sawbone for this trip."

"Right, and I bet you'll find somepony capable of mending gunshots and making healing brews from weeds just meandering about,"  I answered as I gave him a cool look.  "You aren't ready to leave without a healer and you know it, Trader. I don't intend to leave without adequate supplies, but since I have them now I won't hold you up any longer."  I finished.  

He gave me a stony glare and turned back to his caravan.  "Damned fuss bucket"  I heard him mutter as he trotted away.

I gave a huff and wandered to the second wagon, my medical bag floating beside me in a levitation field.  We were bound for the Shattered Hoof Detention Center.  Apparently some kid, fresh out of a Stable, had fucked up the power structure and ruined their supply lines.  And now the new boss, some griffin named Gawd apparently, was in need of all manner of basic supplies.  This was a merchant’s wet dream; because if we could get the goods there first Trader’s caravan could rake in quite a bit of profit in raw gemstones.

I tossed up my satchel and doctor's bag on my own designated storage shelf.

"Now you ladies just give me a call if you need help with something during the trip."  I called over to the pullers.  Four affirmative  “Moos”  came from the front.  "Same goes for you."  I bellowed to the four pulling the other wagons.  The collection of heads nodded out of sync.

I spent some time making sure my magical beam rifle and gear were secured properly before going to the cook in the third wagon. She gave a wave with her ladle at my approach.

"Are you all done packing or do you want some help, Trail Mix?"  I asked as the yellow earth pony mare hauled a bag of cans and vegetables up into the wagon.

"All done,"  She replied.  "but you keep away from my cooking pot now, ya'hear?  Next time I catch you messing with the soup I'll brain ya."  She made a threatening gesture with the ladle she held in the corner of her mouth.

I gave her an innocent look.  "Who, me?"  She lightly whacked my horn with the ladle.

"Yes, you.  Now go make yourself useful."  As I turned away I felt her slap my cutiemark with her ladle.  I smiled to myself.  "and if you manage to keep out of messing with the food this trip.  I might feel generous."  She said.  I gave her a sideways glance and she replied with a wink.  

Now there was something to look forward to.

*** *** ***


We fled, picking a direction away from Maripony.  Our young wings beat furiously as we felt the urgency of the command.


We did just that, flying as fast as we could.  We could see other parts of us flying past, and sometimes some would lag behind a little.  But we didn't stop, and soon we were flying alone.

And then the Goddess left us.  Cold ice spread through our veins as we were shaken free from Unity, a necrotic light flashed behind us moments afterwards.  We did not look behind us.

*** *** ***

We had been flying for hours, numb to all but the workings of our body.  ‘Keep flying.’  It was the last command of the Goddess, and we would honour it.  We passed the Everfree forest and flew over the surrounding mountain range.  As we entered the desert on the other side, our left wing seized up. Succumbing to exhaustion we started to wobble in the air and lose altitude.  We struggled to stay airborne, but we only sank faster.  We cursed the rigid limb as we desperately sought a place to land.

Finally we spotted a small shanty hut standing unobtrusively in the empty waste.  It was surrounded by scrub and an old railway could be seen in the distance. 

We came in low but slightly too fast.  In our haste we didn’t see the little stone in our path as we landed on all four hooves.  It was under just enough sickly scrub brush and dead grass for us to trip and slam our head into an old fence post.

*** *** ***

"Celestia bugger me with bale-fire!"  I exclaimed as I held my head in my hooves, wondering what had just happened.  I had fallen in a rather unflattering heap after banging my head on something and now I was in mind-numbing pain.  Thankfully nothing felt broken and my horn had made it without damage.  I tried to stand but fell over again.  Something was seriously wrong with my brain.  It felt unfamiliar and strange, as if somepony had shoved a collection of wires into it and plugged them in haphazardly.  Come to think of it my entire body felt alien to me.

Laying still and keeping my eyes closed against the vertigo I started to magically check myself for injuries.

Head?  Concussed and a bump was growing on my forehead next to my horn.

Legs?  Unbroken, a few scratches but nothing serious.

Tail?  Flip Flip Where it should be.

Wings?  Ruffled but inta... back up!

I turned my head and opened my eyes.  My coat had gone from a light brown to an ultramarine blue.  But that was nothing compared to the pair of large wings growing out of my back.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  My breath caught in my throat as I touched the feathery appendage with a shaking hoof.  Through the limb I could feel my hoof touch the feathers, and I wanted to puke.  When the hell had I grown wings?!  I shouldn't have wings!  I was supposed to be a unicorn not a bloody alicorn!  Sweet Celestia, let this be a dream.

I experimentally extended one for study and felt my skin crawl as it responded to my commands.  It looked like I had imagined Celestia's or Luna's wings would have looked like two hundred years ago.  I folded it against my back again and gave a shudder of revulsion. This was so wrong.

As I gave the wing a final look I saw something that almost made me scream out loud.  My cutie mark!  It was missing!  I quickly reached down and started to rub my flank with a hoof.  Maybe it’s just painted over.  I desperately thought to myself.  I began to scrub the area, hoping that if I wore the paint away my cutie mark would show itself.

The minutes ticked by and all I managed to accomplish was bleeding sores that stung in the dusty air.  I began to weep silently to myself as I stopped scrubbing and mourned the loss.  The beautiful image of a tourniquet made of silk that mirrored the name ‘Snakebite Tourniquet’ was gone, maybe forever.  I wanted to pound the ground until my hooves cracked, and I briefly contemplated ripping my new wings from their sockets.  

With an effort I pulled myself away from thoughts of self-mutilation and instead I tried to remember what had happened that could have caused this.

The big gap I had in my memories was distressing.  The last thing I could remember was leaving with Trader’s caravan traveling from New Appleloosa to the Shattered Hoof Detention Center.  Then things got muddy.  I vaguely recalled something about a green sludge and other alicorns.  They had been spotted all over the Equestrian wastes over the last ten years or so with increasing regularity and ponies were often pretty jumpy about them.  It was also rumored they kidnapped ponies.  The wandering priests advocating The Goddess and Unity weren't helping much either.

I must have been kidnapped and turned into the same type of winged unicorn that the priests were gushing about.  But how was the ten thousand cap question.  If I could find one of them I might get some answers, if I didn't throttle him with his own robe first that is.  I cursed myself for never stopping to hear one out about the subject at least once, I must have trotted past dozens when I traveled with Trader.

I finally calmed myself down somewhat and I slowly rose from the sand, fighting for balance.  My body was awkward and... bigger?  Yeah I was definitely taller than before.  I wobbled again as my vision blurred.  Not good.  I needed shelter.  Where was I anyway?  I took a look around.

Nothing but wasteland around me and the eternal gray cloud cover above.  No specific landmarks for miles.  The only things I saw were cacti and the ubiquitous orange rock formations native to the desert.  This told me little except that I might be in the vicinity of Old Appleloosa and that could spell trouble.

A little shack made from corrugated iron sheets stood about a hundred feet in-front of me.  It was small and felt out of place; probably some prospectors hideout.

The sound of tubas caught my ear.  I looked to my right and saw a Sprite bot flying around randomly.  They were annoying but harmless.  I remembered that my hometown's guards used to shoot at them for target practice, mostly because moving targets that didn’t fight back were scarce; that and the music got really old around your tenth birthday, so nopony wanted them inside the town walls.

With a shiver I realized that I had no weapons at all.  Not good.  That was like saying that you were a free lunch with mustard.  I was actually without any supplies.  My beam rifle, saddlebags, barding and doctor’s supplies, gone... dammit all to the moon!  

I gave the shack a glance.  Might still be something useful in there if I was lucky.

Whelp, might as well relieve the pressure on my bladder first before I go into somepony’s hut and rob him blind.  I spotted a good looking bush and moved behind it out of habit.  Then I focused on relieving myself.


I'm ashamed to say that my scream was somehow even more emasculating than the fact that my body had changed from a buck to a mare.

I shakily stretched my magic to my hindquarters for a complete checkup.  Being a healer meant I had some familiarity with a mares posterior.  I sometimes had to treat fillies with trauma or 'uncomfortable itching' when I was in the more rowdy parts of the wasteland, so I knew a uterus when I felt one.  Ahem, so to speak.

The fact that I was a relatively healthy...mare...didn't make me feel any better.  The thought that I might be fertile got strangled and dumped in a back alley of my brain faster than you can say ‘Does this make my rump look big?’.  Things just kept going from bad to worse.  But compared to losing my cutie mark, me changing from stallion to mare was only window dressing.

I finally got to my hooves and decided to check the shack out.  Mare or buck, I had to find a weapon and supplies.  And hopefully some time to help me fix my head because I almost walked right into the door as I approached the shack.  I telekinetically grabbed the handle, turned and pulled.  Ripping the door out of it's frame.

Ooookay, that was new.  I hadn't used that much force.  I took a look at the hinges... rusted almost to dust.  Figures.  No-pony had been here for decades.  At least I don't have to rob somepony, thank the wasteland for small favors.

The inside was gloomy and smelled slightly of mold.  After standing in the doorway for a while, letting my eyes get used to the gloomy atmosphere I spotted a row of metal lockers against the far wall along with a lock-box on the floor. A table stood in the middle of the room with an aging, ham radio resting on top.  A bed and an old fridge completed the furnishings.  Nothing was moving, hissing, or shouting so I figured there was no immediate danger so I trotted in.

Two of the lockers were unlocked but didn't contain anything worthwhile.  The third was locked.  After rummaging around for a while, only finding two sparkle colas and a hoof-full of bottle-caps I found the key.  It was sitting on the radio, in plain sight.  I gave it a deadpan look and mentally kicked myself before levitating it into the keyhole and turning.

On the locker floor sat a duffel-bag and a collection of clothing hung from hooks.  I opened the duffel-bag first and was to my delight greeted with an assortment of items; a semi automatic pistol in a leg holster, a few boxes of ammunition, an assortment of health potions, a blanket, a decent looking skinning knife and a bottle of whiskey.  It looked like somepony’s travelling kit and it reinforced my impression that this was the hut of a prospector.  Or scavengers as they really were.

I levitated up the weapon for inspection.  It wasn't really my thing because I preferred magical energy weapons to conventional firearms, but I could cope.  The weapon used 12.7mm ammunition and was in fair condition.  It looked like it had been cleaned right before it was left.

A large duster caught my attention, putting down the gun I levitated it of the hook and floated it up for inspection.  The large coat was a dark gray. And when it was worn it would show the image of a grinning pony skull on the flanks.  I looked around for some more clothing in the locker.  I had found a slouch hat and a pair of goggles when I was done.  The hat was for earth ponies, but I could simply ram my horn through.

A mirror was fastened to the inside of the locker door.  I took a quick look, and a stranger stared back at me.  A blue mare with a sickly green mane striped in light blue stared out at me from the mirror.  Golden eyes with slit pupils met mine, and her expression of astonishment mimicked my own.  Even with the proverbial uterus staring me in the face I hadn't been completely convinced earlier, like something in my head had been refusing reality.  There was nothing I could do to refuse this.  

"Dammit."  I whispered through clenched teeth; the mare in the mirror did the same.

The duster fell to the floor, my magic fading as I slammed a hoof into the mirror, making a dent in the metal door behind it as the glass shattered.  I pounded the door a few times fighting back tears before I finally calmed and let out a great sigh, falling to my haunches.

And because the wasteland loathes my existence, I landed straight onto a coffee cup.  I stood back up so abruptly that I slammed my rump into the table, knocking it over.  The ham radio made a great cacophony of noise as it fell to the floor.  Great, just fucking great!  Now I have to make sure I haven't hurt myself.  

"Ain't this bloody amazing!”  I bellowed after taking a moment to scan myself.  “I get kidnapped, I have a great big hole in my memories, some horse-apple nails a couple of wings to my back and now to top it all off I have gotten my nethers bruised!"

I raged at the world in general for a while before deciding to fix my head and get some sleep.

*** *** ***

By the time I had sorted everything out the sun was already setting.  I had closed up the doorway as best I could and tried to get some sleep in the old bed.  Fixing my concussion was tricky but in the end I managed; my healing magic had become much stronger when my body changed.  

Now I just wanted to sleep.  This proved harder than I had expected.   I rolled over again and opened my eyes, studying the inside of the shack for maybe the third time.  That’s when I saw a blue flickering coming from the remains of the broken ham radio.

I rolled onto my hooves and trotted up to the wreckage.  There in the remains was something quite unusual and my horn glowed as I levitated it up to eye level.  It was the size of a cereal package and made of metal.  

The front had a large screen covering about half of it and a series of buttons, levers and scroll wheels covered the rest.  A small dial marked 'Rad' sat in the corner, it's dead needle pointing towards the zero.  Flipping it over I saw the back-plate had come of and the connections to the spark battery had come loose and the magical power cell itself looked damaged.  This appeared to be the source of the flicker I had seen earlier.  I pulled out the dying battery and tossed it aside.

The words 'PipBuck P.R.A' met my eyes from the upper part of the little terminal and I wondered what it stood for.  Why would somepony hide it inside an old radio?  

At the moment it was non-functional, but it could be useful if I could get it repaired.  I slipped it into the duffel bag with the rest of my spoils, went back to the bed and slipped into it's warm embrace.  After another couple of hours I finally got some well needed sleep.


I was being dragged on the floor through the corridors of some sort of building.  The walls were old and decaying, the floor littered with debris and covered with dust except for my drag mark.  Many others like it littered the corridor, some showed violent struggles others were smooth and almost tidy.  And through all of this a constant whisper of hundreds, no thousands of voices echoed in my head.  

Soon the corridors gave way to a railing situated over a series of large, open topped, tanks containing a green sludge.  Here and there on the floor between them was pools of the stuff mixed out with water, giving it a rainbow sheen.  Taint.

A great resonating voice sounded in my mind.  IT WILL ALL BE OVER SOON, YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN.  And I was lifted, almost lovingly and lowered into one of the tanks.

I tried to scream as the unnatural mutagen seeped into my body and started to warp it, but all that happened as I tried to cry out was that the viscus fluid flowed into my lungs.  Creeping fire spread through my innards like an army of ants.  My mind went haywire as new nerves swam through my brain seeking connections.

My back arced as bones, cartilage and muscles started to form and force themselves through my hide splitting it.  Feathers grew and sprouted from the new limbs like leaves.  

My bones groaned and creaked as the fluid worked it's dark magic, forcing them to grow and to stretch the muscles and sinew almost to the breaking point before they themselves caught up.  My horn lengthened and it felt like it would split my skull with its growth.

The changes done to my body slowed, and my mind started to open and bloom like a flower, yet in doing so it let in all the whispers in a way I couldn't imagine.  I attempted to protest as I felt myself bleed into a great consciousness large and terrifying in its glory.  I could feel my sense of self slipping away and meld with others and tried to fight back, to stay myself.  Don't fight it.  We are your family now.  We are unity, and now you are a part of us.  Then a voice above them all proclaimed.



I woke with a scream.  The nightmare caused me to fall out of the bed, and I almost dislocated a wing as I landed hard on the dirt floor.  I could do nothing but hold myself and cry into my wings as I tried to get a grip on myself.  The soft blue feathers felt smooth to my muzzle and comforting, if alien.  Oh sweet Celestia, what had happened to me?

*** *** ***

The sunrise burned through the clouds, and I had managed to pull myself together somewhat.  During my few hours of sleep almost all of my small cuts and bruises had vanished.  I use healing potions all the time and I have even operated a magical healing booth once or twice, but this just felt unnatural.

I shook my head clearing it, worrying about what had happened constantly wouldn't help.

I spent the morning going over what I could take from the shack, sipping a sparkle cola while working.  The carrot taste of the soft drink was a welcome distraction; it meant my tongue still worked like it should.  The duffel bag was filled with a mishmash of stuff, the PipBuck P.R.A, some spare clips for the gun, a few healing items and some odds and ends worth taking.

I strapped the leg holster for the pistol to my right foreleg before dropping the gun into it, after that I shrugged into the duster.  It hid my wings rather effectively and if I was just a bit lucky I might just be mistaken for a larger than usual unicorn.  I doubted I would be able to use my wings off the bat without some practice, and I had grown up on four hooves that served me well.

Last things to go on was the goggles and the hat which I skewered on my horn after taking careful aim, making a neat hole in just the right place.  I was ready to move.  I grabbed the duffel bag and removed the barricaded door.

As I exited the hut and got the lay of the land, I spotted the signs of an old railway in the distance.  "All roads lead to Canterlot."  I said to myself and started to trot in that direction, starting my search for Traders caravan.

Footnote: Level Up
New Perk: Survivalist - You are an experienced citizen of the Equestrian wastes.  This Perk improves the ability to survive in hostile environments.  You get a +20% bonus to your survival skill.

Thanks to Kkat for creating one of my big time favorite stories.  Shout-out and big thanks to The Jack, Kashin and ErrantIndy for helping me with polishing this chapter.  Chapter quote brought to you by: Redgum - I Was Only 19
Official proof-reader: NeverKnown