//------------------------------// // Steel Bars // Story: If You Hear Me, Let Me Know // by SolidFire //------------------------------// Steel Bars Steel let his worries be carried away by the wind that flowed through his mane. At least he tried to. He couldn't shake the sorrow and confusion that still plagued him as a result of losing his family at such a young age. To be six years old and to have his entire life turned around over the course of a couple of hours. "Stay right here, Son. I'll be right back." His father's last words to him rung again in his ears. "Well where in the hay are you now, Dad?!" Steel hoped that venting to the wind would help him relax. He quickly found out that it didn't. He felt a lead ball developing in the pit of his stomach. He shook his head and let out a powerful scream. Anger was better than sorrow. If he was angry, he could blame his problems on somepony else. If he was angry he didn't feel helpless. Yes, anger and hatred were much better than sorrow. He could focus hatred. Sorrow was everywhere, it hurt everywhere, but hatred could be focused on a single pony, a pony that wasn't him. The problem was that Steel just wanted answers. He was so confused that the only pony he could hate was himself. His father had always taught him that, as a stallion, he needed to be in control of every situation life sent his way. Right now he didn't even have control over his own emotions. How could he have any self respect when he couldn't even stay in control of himself? He found a cloud and began to ask the questions he wanted answers to, wishing that Celestia's bright sun could give him an answer. "What happened to my father? Was he as bad as everypony says he was? Did he hurt my mother? Did he hurt my sister? Who were you, Dad?!" He screamed the last question before lowering his voice to a whisper. "Who am I?" Anger filled Steel as tears began to roll down his cheeks. He screamed again in rage. He needed to be angry, he needed to hate something. Anything but this depression. Why couldn't he be pissed? Why couldn't he hate Scootaloo for killing his father? Why couldn't he be angry at her for constantly giving him half answers about his parents’ deaths? Why couldn't he hate Lightning for always siding with her on the issue? Why did he still look up to him? Steel punched the cloud he was sitting on, but quickly found himself out of energy. He curled into a ball and sighed. He was just about to let the tears flow when he heard a familiar voice. A friendly one. "Steel?" Autumn asked. Steel jumped up and looked down. Without realizing it he had flown just over her house. "Hey Autumn." "I heard you screaming. Is everything alright?" Steel thought for a moment. He didn't want to tell Autumn his problems. To do so would mean breaking the image he had set for himself as a strong pony. As much as he would like to confide in Autumn and get her comfort, he would have to give the short story. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a fight with my sister. She can be as stubborn as a mule sometimes. Screaming at the wind helps me calm down a little." Autumn frowned. She could see that Steel wasn't telling her everything. She decided it would be better to take him at his word. She smiled, flying up and sat next to him on the cloud. "Want to talk about it?" "No." Steel spoke harsher than he had intended to, and the look on Autumn's face broke his heart. He brought a hoof to her cheek. "I'm sorry Autumn. I didn't mean to be like that. It's just a touchy subject." Autumn gave a weak smile. She could see that he was sincere in his apology, but she still didn't like that he had been so rough with her. "It's okay. I won't ask about it anymore." "Thanks." A long silence fell over the two young ponies. Steel noticed that his wing had draped itself over Autumn at one point. He smiled and kissed the top of her head. Before he could react, she turned her head and pressed her lips to his. Steel's eyes shot wide open. The kiss was short lived, but Steel had never felt so much passion in his life. Autumn gave a nervous giggle. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to know what it felt like." She hoped her actions wouldn't cause a problem between her and Steel. Steel smiled. "It felt good." Autumn giggled again. "Yeah, it did." Steel and Autumn shared a gentle nuzzle. The young couple giggled in unison. "I should get going. Spitfire and Rainbow will be wondering where I am." Steel felt his heart break again as he saw Autumn's heart sink. "Alright..." she said sadly. Steel rested his forehead against hers. "Don't worry. I'll come by on the way to school tomorrow." Autumn's expression brightened at the prospect of seeing Steel again soon. "Okay. I'll be waiting for you." Steel smiled. The two ponies sat in a slightly awkward silence for a moment before Steel leaned into Autumn and placed a tentative kiss on her lips. The two ponies giggled again. With no more words, Steel gave Autumn a quick nuzzle and flew back to his home. Steel was on cloud nine when he landed back at the Dash family home. He allowed himself a little dance on the front porch before making his way inside. He was greeted by Tank, meaning the tortoise hadn't eaten yet. Steel fed the family pet and made his way to his room, stopping when he was interrupted by Rainbow's familiar voice. "I see 'first kiss face'," she said with a smug grin. "How was it?" Steel blushed madly. "I-I-I-um—" Rainbow let out an uproarious laugh. "Oh, you really are adorable when you're nervous, bud." "I'm not nervous!" Steel knew he couldn't get nervous. Only weak ponies got nervous. His father had made sure he knew that. "Oh really?" Rainbow said with a smug grin. "Then I'm sure you'll have no problem telling me how your first kiss was." Steel swallowed. He cursed under his breath. He really was nervous! "It-I-um..." Rainbow laughed again. "That's what I thought you'd say. Anyway, I've got dinner on the counter. And yes, I got your favorite for you. Kitty would be so jealous if she found out." As if on cue, Steel's stomach let out a low rumble. He grinned sheepishly and shot to the sub sandwich on the counter. He finished it in short order and made his way to his room. The moment he closed the door the depression hit him again. He felt the lead weight forming in the pit of his stomach, but this time he didn't have the energy to vent. He just flopped onto his bed and let the sorrow take hold. His head began to spin as he wracked his brain for answers. "Why don't I know how I got here?" Steel wasn't sure when he fell asleep, only that he woke around three in the morning. He dragged a hoof over his face and sighed. The weight in his gut was still there, coupled with immense pressure from his bladder. He dragged himself out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. The trip seemed to take longer than usual, but Steel was dragging his hooves along the floor. What very few ponies at school knew about him was that his upbeat attitude and warm smile that he was always seen with in public was a simple facade. He tried to keep it up at home, but at times like this he just didn't care. After using the restroom he slowly trudged back to his room. He again flopped down on his bed, but sleep wasn't going to come as easily this time. His mind raced with questions and his eyes welled with tears. He shook his head. He couldn't cry. Crying was for weak foals, not a grown pony like himself. But if that was the case, why couldn't he stop the tears from coming? He galloped to his mannequin and threw it to the center of his room. He proceeded to right it and buck it powerfully enough to lodge it into the wall of his room. He galloped to it again and continued to hit it over and over again with every bit of strength he could muster. He couldn't cry, he couldn't be depressed. He needed rage. He needed hatred. Rainbow woke to the dull cracks of Steel's hooves hitting the mannequin in his room. She groaned and dragged a hoof down her face. That never wakes me up, she thought as she rolled out of bed to check on Steel. She dragged her hooves the entire walk to his room. This was something that was normally under Spitfire's jurisdiction, and more than one time she had returned to bed in a saddened state. Rainbow was determined not to let that happen to her while Spitfire was gone. When she got to Steel's room, she found him making a vain attempt to remove his mannequin from the wall. Rainbow quickly made her way to him and pulled him away from the mannequin. "Steel, what's wrong?" "I WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH! I'M SO SICK OF BEING CONFUSED ALL THE TIME! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PARENTS?! WHO AM I?!" Rainbow was taken aback by Steel's burst of rage, especially when it turned from screaming to quiet sobbing. "I just want to know the truth... I don't want to be confused anymore. Rainbow, what happened when you guys took me in? Who am I?" Rainbow didn't know what to do. She had always been honest with Steel about Jade's death and his placement in her home. Why Steel was questioning it now was something she couldn't understand. "Steel, we already told you what happened. Your father broke into our home and attacked your sister. He was killed in the fight they had." "Why did he break in? You said Scootaloo walked in on him. My dad said he had some business left in Ponyville. He said he needed to talk to you guys, that's why he went to your house." "I don't know why he broke in. All I know is that when Spitfire and I got back to our house we found a mess and Scootaloo's ear. She flew back up to the house, we took her to the hospital, and the Royal Guard found you by your father's body," Rainbow explained. Steel stamped his hoof on the floor. "That doesn't make sense! Dad was always good to me!" "Your father was not a good stallion, Steel." "He never killed anypony! Scootaloo's worse than him!" Rainbow was taken aback. Did he seriously not know that Jade killed Aerial? "Steel, remember when your mother went missing?" Rainbow lowered her head. Aerial's death was a painful memory, despite how little she actually got to know the mare. She decided not to tell him about his birth mother at that moment. "Yeah, after she started living with you guys!" "Steel... Your father broke into our house with a knife. He killed her." Steel's jaw dropped. Rage could be seen in his expression. "NO! No, you're lying to me! Dad said she killed herself! He didn't do it, I know he didn't! She was weak and a coward, she did it herself!" "She died in a hospital bed, Steel. From four stab wounds to her stomach. One of the last things she said to Scootaloo was to ask her to look after you." "NO! NO NO NO NO NO! GET OUT! STOP, THAT'S WRONG!" Steel couldn't believe what he was hearing. He refused to believe it. He turned back to the mannequin that was lodged in his wall and began to buck it in sync with his screams. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" Rainbow slowly retreated out of his room. She felt it would be better to leave him to deal with this information on his own. Again, Steel wasn't sure what time he had fallen asleep, although this time he woke up on the floor. A crust had formed around his eyes from the tears that had dried around them, and at first he had difficulty getting them open. Once he had gotten his eyes open he found the alarm clock that was screaming in his ears and shut it off. He slowly walked to the shower and let the hot water soothe his aching legs and back. The previous night's assault on the mannequin had left him in a lot of pain. He looked down and noticed blood washing into the drain. As he expected, when he looked at his hind hooves he saw cuts from where broken plastic had cut through his skin. He didn't care. It was just another wound to add to the growing list. He stepped out of the shower and shook himself dry. He gave his wings a couple of flaps to ensure that they would stay dry as well. He had a quick breakfast and dove off the porch. He couldn't wait to see Autumn. His troubles always disappeared when he was with her. Steel landed hard in front of Autumn's house. A dull throb began in his right foreleg. Why he had landed with so much force on it was something he couldn't bring himself to understand, but it happened. And it hurt. He limped his way to the door of her home and knocked. Autumn quickly answered. It was as if she had been waiting for him. Autumn's father stepped up from behind her. "You must be Steel." He smiled and lifted his hoof to Steel. "I'm Winter Wind, Autumn's father. We've heard a lot about you." Steel suppressed a giggle. Best not to laugh at the name of your fillyfriend's father. It appeared that seasons ran in the family. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Wind." "Please, call me Winter." "Umm, okay Winter." "That's better. You two have fun now." Autumn gave Steel a gentle nuzzle. "Hi Steel." "Hey Autumn." Autumn could see that something was wrong, but didn't press the issue. She had come to accept that Steel didn't like talking about his problems with anypony, no matter how much he needed to. She didn't like seeing him angry, so she just pushed it aside and kissed his cheek. Steel smiled. The two young pegasi took off towards school. Steel was making his way to his last class of the day when he heard a familiar voice. One of his friends. "Yo, Steel!" "Hey there Halo, what's going on?" "That's what I was gonna ask you. Ever since you got your little fillyfriend you haven't even said hi to the rest of us." Steel knew that his friend was simply jealous. He had wanted to be with Autumn as much as Steel did, but Halo tried to play the "gangsta" role too hard for Autumn's liking. It was superficial and irritating, but Steel knew he really was a nice colt deep down. A shimmer caught Steel's eye, bringing a small smile out of Steel. He pretended that he didn't notice it. "Sorry, I guess I just forgot a little. Don't worry, I'll hang with you guys soon." "Right, sure you will. Make sure you don't forget about us before that." "Look, I'm really not in the mood to deal with that now. If you're going to be like that, just go away." "Why? You waiting to meet Autumn?" Steel swallowed his anger and walked away from his jealous friend. Halo huffed and and walked the other way. "He's a jerk when he wants something, isn't he?" Steel turned his head and found his best friend standing next to him. "Hey Eddie. How do you do that?" "Do what?" Steel turned his head again to find that Eddie had reappeared on the other side of him. A cocky grin had passed his features. "Teleportation. No unicorn our age masters that." "Meh, other unicorns our age aren't as smart as I am." Steel rolled his eyes. He knew Eddie well enough to know that he was modest at heart. But he liked to act arrogant. He always found it funny when he pretended to think the world of himself. "I know, Eddie. They also don't study magic as much as you do." "It's nothing really. Just took a lot of practice is all. It helps that magic is my special talent." There was the kind and modest Eddie that Steel had grown to know and love. And true to the star on his flank, Eddie was very talented with magic. Oddly enough, it was just then that Steel noticed it wasn't all too dissimilar from Twilight Sparkle's. "So what's his deal?" Eddie gestured in Halo's direction. "He's just jealous that I'm the one dating Autumn. But I'm sure you already know that because you were listening in on the conversation." "Just because I did it one time doesn't mean I do it every time." "Eddie, I saw the shimmer in the air from where you used your cloaking spell." "Dang, I thought I was getting better. You know, he does have a point. I'm happy you get to go out with Autumn, but you have been spending all your time with her since then." "Eddie, we've only been going out for a couple of days." "I know, but you could say hi to us more often. Anyway, I gotta go, class is about to start. See you around, Steel!" With that, Eddie disappeared in a puff of blue magic. Steel facehoofed at his friend's ignorance. "If either of them had a fillyfriend, they'd understand." Steel landed back at home. Again, he was on cloud nine from kissing Autumn goodbye. He pushed open the door to find Rainbow, Spitfire, Scootaloo, Lightning, and a mare that he had never seen before. He looked at the new mare. Her jaw dropped when she spotted him. That confused Steel. Spitfire smiled warmly. Rainbow wore a more nervous smile. Spitfire was the first to speak up. "Steel, I'd like you to meet Summer Ember. She's your birth mother."