//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: Greener Pastures // by Static Shock //------------------------------// Fluttershy awoke from a dreamless night’s sleep. She felt exhausted, despite having slept for what, judging by her alarm clock, must have been at least ten hours. The left side of her face, the one she had been sleeping on when she awoke, was wet for some reason. She checked her pillow, and there was a stain on it. Tears? Why are there tears on my pillow? It was just a dream... right? Realisation dawned upon the now once again heartbroken pegasus as the noticed how the necklace, the one gift Big Mac had given her, had been tossed into a corner of the room. She didn’t remember doing it, but couldn’t think of any other reason for something like that to happen. No... no, they wouldn’t do that... would they? She tried to console herself. Big Mac wouldn’t be so... cruel... right? The tears on her pillow were too obvious to ignore, though. She had dreamt of heartbreaking moments with the red stallion before, but never had she woken up to find her pillow covered in her own tears. As the morning progressed, Fluttershy couldn’t deny the signs any longer. Big Mac had broken up with her and tossed her aside like it was nothing, and for Twilight, no less. She felt a vaguely familiar sense of emptiness in her heart, quickly followed by a crushing sensation in her chest, something she hadn’t felt since... well, ever. The emptiness wasn’t new to her; she had felt it several weeks ago when she forced herself to accept the reality that the relationship between her and Big Mac would never come to be. I was wrong that time... maybe I’m wrong again? she thought to herself. No, that doesn’t make any sense. Big Mac was fine when he... She stopped her train of thoughts at that moment, not wanting to think back to those words. Those words, spoken by the stallion she loved, had hurt her more than any physical pain she had ever felt before. But the crushing feeling, that strange... weight on her heart, that was new. It almost feels like... like he’s in there, personally crushing it, she thought. She couldn’t help smiling to herself when she realized what a fitting name for the feeling other ponies had invented. ‘A broken heart’ really was what it felt like. She left her bedroom, ears folded down the side of her head, eyes downcast, and in no mood to do anything. Angel hopped up to her. It seemed his paw had made a full recovery; the little bunny had removed the bandaging, exposing the fully recovered, furry paw below. Good to see that somebody still knows how to feel good. Angel seemed confused by the lack of response from his owner. Hadn’t she cheered up recently? Fluttershy noticed the disappointment in her bunny’s eyes, his ears drooping much like hers. She didn’t care. She knew she should, and normally, she would have, but today she just... didn’t. Angel continued to stare at his caretaker, as if trying to find out what was wrong simply by looking at her. Fluttershy sighed and walked past him, not sure what she was going to do. The yellow pegasus knew that she’d have to feed her animals, but she just wasn’t bothered to. What point was there in doing anything? Why should she even bother? Other animals lived in the woods, so why couldn’t these? Fluttershy stood in her living room, wondering what she would end up doing today. She sure as hay wouldn’t be going outside. Not into Ponyville, at least. She played with the thought of going for a walk, but to what purpose? She didn’t have anywhere to go, and she’d probably end up at that stupid lake again. Then again... the lake was still a reminder of that one night they had spent together, enjoying each other’s company without a care in the world. Fluttershy walked over to her window and noticed that it was raining. At least the weather is cooperating. Fluttershy smiled despite herself. The rain was comforting, somehow. It seemed almost fitting, and slightly poetic, that the pegasi had decided to make it rain today of all days. Perhaps they knew? No, they wouldn’t know. Even Twilight wouldn’t know... would she? And there it was, the question that had been bothering Fluttershy so much since she had woken up. Would Twilight really do such a thing to her, knowing full well that Fluttershy had been dating Big Mac the days before? Would Twilight really stab her friend in the back like that? Fluttershy didn’t know. Her thoughts told her that Twilight would never do that to her, but Fluttershy couldn’t deny what she had seen; Twilight and Big Mac, sitting on a bench, staring at the nightsky. The day progressed, although slowly, and Fluttershy still hadn’t found an answer to any of her questions. She simply didn’t know enough, or feared the answers themselves. What if Twilight really had done what she did while fully aware of Fluttershy’s relationship with the stallion that caused this whole mess? What would this mean for the elements? Would Twilight even still care? Fluttershy spent most of the day in her cottage, pondering what had happened the previous night, but eventually decided that her animals needed food. Nature would not stop simply because Fluttershy wanted it to. She grabbed the food she’d need and went outside, welcoming the rain. It was a storm, and thunder could be heard in the distance, but Fluttershy didn’t mind. In fact, she was thankful. The rain suited her mood, and for some reason, made her feel better. It was a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless. Most of her animals had retreated to some kind of shelter, hiding from the rain. Fluttershy, however, walked freely through the rain, carelessly chucking a helping of food into each hole in the floor, and in the general direction of the animals that had taken shelter in the nearby forest. Normally, she would have carefully handed them the food, or placed it on the floor near them, but today, she simply didn’t care. Fluttershy finished feeding her animals, but didn’t go back inside. She just sat there, watching the rain fall, feeling it beating down on her. Lightning struck nearby, igniting a tree. Normally, Fluttershy would have jumped at the noise and bolted for the nearest shelter, but not this time. She didn’t care enough. Instead, she simply sat there, watching the flames as they licked at the tree, slowly turning it to ash. True, the noise had startled her somewhat, but her apathy quickly replaced her fear. The flames were odd, Fluttershy thought. Even with a storm beating down on them, dousing the flames with every drop of rain, they continued to spread. Why do they spread? Don’t they realise that they’ll die when they run out of wood to burn? Then she smiled. Flames didn’t know any better; that’s why they continued to do what they did. Why else would somepony keep fighting a hopeless battle? I guess ignorance really is bliss, in a way, Fluttershy thought. That phrase prompted another thought. Bliss... is existence really bliss? What joy is there in existing if life just does this to you? I’m the element of kindness, for ponies’ sake, yet life still sees fit to spit on my dreams and crush my feelings. Fluttershy looked up from the burning tree to the fields surrounding the forest. Animals were still busy eating at the edge of the forest, although they had run away from the tree Fluttershy had been looking at a few moments before. They seemed happy, content with their food and not worrying about what tomorrow would bring. They have such easy lives... Why aren’t we more like them? She looked around some more, only to see more animals enjoying their carefree meals. Fluttershy sighed, giving up on looking around and returning to the tree. It had almost completely burned. Only a few flames remained, devouring the last few pieces of wood before they too died out. The rain still beating down on her, Fluttershy finally stopped staring at the tree. She moved to go inside, finally stepping out of the rain. A concerned little bunny eyed her as she stepped inside. Angel had, apparently, been watching her sulk. “I’m fine, Angel. You should go and play. I’m not really in the mood for games right now. I’m sorry.” Fluttershy was being blunt with the little rabbit on purpose. Usually, she’d try to make it sound like a suggestion rather than an order. This time, however, she wanted the bunny to know that there would be no discussion; Fluttershy would not play with him today. Angel seemed to accept that there would be no games today, or at least not with Fluttershy. His eyes downcast, he walked off, probably to sulk in a corner. There wasn’t much to do for Angel inside, and he never had liked rain. Fluttershy returned to the window she had been looking through before she left to feed her animals. With the tree she had been watching now a pile of ash, and her animals apparently done with their food, Fluttershy had nothing to look at. She returned to staring at the rain itself, considering the event of the previous day, and trying to make sense of it all. It just didn’t. It didn’t make sense. She had spent the entire day trying to think of an explanation for what had happened, trying to think of a reason for Big Mac and Twilight to do what they had done, but she just couldn’t. All I can think of... is that they both did it on purpose. That they did all of this, the dating, the party, the breakup, just to get at me. But... that doesn’t make sense. We’re the elements of harmony, we’re supposed to be friends... Friends don’t do that to each other... do they? Fluttershy shoved the thoughts aside. There was no point in thinking about it any more; she’d thought about it all day and hadn’t even come close to a conclusion. She spent the rest of the day performing menial tasks around the house, trying to keep herself from thinking of the previous day again. It didn’t work. Big Mac and Fluttershy had only been dating for a few days, but they had been friends, and perhaps more than just friends, for much longer than that. Fluttershy smiled once again, imagining how much easier things would have been if she had just kept quiet. She returned to her housework, once again trying to distract herself from her own mind. She was more successful this time, if only a little. Big Mac crossed her mind a few more times, but the more Fluttershy thought about it, the more she came to believe that Big Mac must have had a reason for his behaviour. I’ve known Big Mac for years now, and I just won’t believe that he’d do such a thing without reason. Twilight... she probably didn’t even know. So then... why didn’t he tell her? And why didn’t he tell me? Fluttershy sighed. That was the fourth time she had asked herself that question today, not that she had been putting any effort into keeping count. Hours flew by while Fluttershy cleaned up around her house, and when she checked the clock, she noticed that it was already past five PM. She needed to make supper. Another hour later, Angel was happily munching away on a carrot. Fluttershy hadn’t bothered making anything for herself; she wasn’t hungry, so why eat? She sat there for a second, just watching Angel as the little bunny munched away at his carrot. Life must be so much simpler for him, she thought. This would all be so much simpler if we could all just stop thinking, or stop... feeling. Big Mac wouldn’t have... done what he did, and I wouldn’t even have cared about him in the first place. Maybe we really would be better off if we were just animals. After another hour of thinking, Fluttershy decided that she had tortured herself enough that day and went to bed. It was much too early for Fluttershy to sleep, and the storm outside was still raging, keeping her awake. So, she just laid there, trying her very best not to think. It was hard to do, especially with the necklace Big Mac had given her, a constant reminder of the evening they had spent on the lake, lying in the corner of the room. I just have to forget. If I can just forget that this ever happened, I won’t be bothered by it. But... how? How can I forget with reminders of him around every corner? Unless... Fluttershy got up, grabbed the necklace from the corner of the room, and left her bedroom. Angel quickly hopped up to her, as he had done that morning, but Fluttershy’s frown told him that there was no time for games. She opened her front door, and stepped outside into the rain once again. The storm was still raging, and Fluttershy welcomed the rain. “Don’t wait for me, Angel. This might take a while!” she called back to the little bunny, trying to make herself heard over the lightning. Angel, who was standing in the doorway with a concerned look on his face, nodded, and went inside. Fluttershy turned around, and started walking, the rain beating down on her as she went. If I’m going to forget about him, I’ve got to stop reminding myself. The necklace has to go.