“Argh, you beat me!” Lightning Dust transformed back into her pony-self and collapsed into the dirt and stuck her tongue out. “Blegh!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah – I’m the best there ever was!” Rainbow Dash was hyped as she transformed back as well. “Hey, wanna be friends now?”

Episode 6
Fluttershyはファンフィクションを書き込みます
Fluttershy wa fanfikushon o kakikomimasu – Battle in the City in the Mountain!!

It was with immeasurable relief that Twilight and her friends entered the city of Canterlot. As it turned out, the mountain path led to a toll booth near Canterlot’s train station that had a Royal Guard stationed there to watch for any ponies brave enough to take the long way.

“The one scheduled to depart yesterday? Oh yeah, good decision – there were a bunch of spirits switching everypony’s luggage and putting tacks on the seats.”

After dealing with that, the six mares made their way to Canterlot Castle, which shone in the distance like a beacon of hope.

“Oh girls, look at that saddle!” Rarity smushed her face up against the display window, eyes sparkling hugely as she admired the clothed ponyquins. “Such craftsmanship. The usage of purple on black is simply divine!”

Applejack joined her. “Mmm…” She tilted her head curiously. “Rares? Tha’ looks a mite… what’s a word ya’ll would use? Uh, risqué, innit?”

“Oh, it is, darling…” Rarity waved her off. “But that doesn’t mean it can’t be fabulous regardless of what saucy affairs it might be intended for.”

“The white and gold one? Excellent colour contrast, but I would have used a deeper shade of gold. It’s still marvellous though, wouldn’t you agree?”

Twilight, for all the reverence and flank-kissing that came with being a princess, still had a tough time pushing her way through the crowd of ponies that flooded Canterlot’s busiest shopping district. After all, a shipment of crystal-adorned dresses had just come in that day, and the noblemares were on the warpath.

“Move, ya shmuck!” A middle-aged mare almost hidden beneath an abundance of frilly fabric shouted as she dashed by Twilight. She knocked over several other ponies, her inexplicably Manehatten accented voice already fading by the time her husband arrived to softly apologize to Twilight.

“Phwah!” Twilight grimaced once she was back up on her feet. In an act of desperation, she extended her wings and leapt forwards, straining for that extra bit of lift to clear the crowd of ponies and roughly land beside her friends. “Oof! Hah… hah hah! I made it!”

“Why didn’t ya jes’ fly on over?” Applejack questioned with a scrutinizing arched eyebrow as Twilight shakily stood up.

“Where are the others?” Twilight gasped out. “Pinkie was right behind me, but give that mare a second and you might as well have looked away for an hour.”

“Ah think Rainbow Dash went with Fluttershy ta pick out some chemical stuff for critter fleas. Dunno where Pinkie is.”

“Ooh, look, Twilight!” Rarity inhaled and her face practically merged with the window. “That jacket is your size. Do you think it comes in black?”

“What? I-I don’t care! We have a castle to get to,” Twilight sighed and cast a brief look through the window. “I… I’m not really a fan of jackets anyway; only ones that’d keep me warm in the winter. So can we just go find the others, please?”

“Alright, hold your mules…” Applejack nudged Rarity in the side. “Come on, sugarcube – she’s doing her puppy-dog stare technique.”

Twilight was confused about the technique she had apparently performed without realizing, but grateful nonetheless. She breathed a sigh of relief and turned to make her way through the frenzied crowd with two of her friends in tow.

Twilight bounced off a stallion and shook her head before saying, “Oh, sorry, sir.”

“My fault entirely, young lady.” The stallion reached up to adjust his straw hat before moving on alongside another stallion with an almost exact appearance.

“Jeez…” Twilight shook her head at her own inattention and moved along. “Now, if I were a hyperactive pink pony, where would I…?”

Twilight turned to look over her shoulder. Her eyes widened and her face went white. “Oh no…”

“Nope! It’s nothing! Avert your eyes and continue marching forwards!” Twilight ordered, her magic flaring so she could force Rarity and Applejack to follow, ignoring their indignant cries and protests. “Left and right, and left and right, and-”

“H-hey! Hey, I say, wait a second!” A male voice cried out from behind. “Brother, quickly – they’re attempting to escape from a nonsensical and pointless challenge!”

Struggling to fight off Twilight’s none-too-weak magical hold, Applejack pricked her ears at the stallions giving chase. “Now hang on a sec’ – ah know those voices.”

“No, you don’t. It’s all in your head. You’re hearing things. None of this is real. None of- move, ya shmuck!”

Unfortunately, the strength bestowed upon Twilight as a result of her alicorn ascension still wasn’t enough to match the weight and softness of a rather portly mare in thick, embroidered robes.

The princess bounced off the mare’s side and tumbled back to collide with her two friends like a fuzzy bowling ball.

After her unwanted strike, Twilight ended up coming to a stop as her back smashed into the chest of – taking into account common sense and the fact that the universe hated her – one of the stallions chasing them.

“Ungh…” Twilight rubbed at the base of her horn and shakily stood up. “O-kay, not my smartest move to be sure…”

“Ha ha! You think that – ooh, that stings – that a mere tackle could stop us?”

Twilight sighed, her back to the stallions and her eyes fixed on the castle in the distance. “And here I was hoping that maybe Discord can’t count…”

Rarity and Applejack rushed up to join her, understandably jostled and confused by her actions. Twilight felt bad for using them as puppets like that; perhaps she’d get them tickets to Canterlot’s Museum of History.

“Sugarcube, what in Sam Hill were you even doin’? Ya’ll know ah hate it when anythin’ magical gets all grabby with me, and I…” Applejack skidded to a stop and her eyes narrowed in anger when she saw who was behind Twilight. “You two again?!”

Flim and Flam, Brothers of Opportunity

Exiled from four towns, wanted in two, and known as mares of the night in one

“Well, well – look who it is, oh dear brother,” Flim prodded his sibling in the side with a sneer on his face. “Our most favourite rival businessmare and her honorary family members.”

“Your eyes deceive you not, dear brother, for I see the very same thing,” Flam replied with an eerily similar sneer. “Although, I only see three mares; wherever could the others be, do you think?”

“I certainly don’t know, dear brother, but it makes our job easier, doesn’t it?”

“Aha, how right you are!” Flam tapped the side of his muzzle before extending his foreleg to the frowning heroines. “We’ve been searching for you for quite some time now…”

“-but you took so long to get to the castle that my brother and I thought it’d make things easier-”

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s apples that we have a bone to pick with, my dear.” Flam corrected.

“Right you are, dear brother,” Flim nodded before striking a pose – he went up on his hind legs, reached up with one forehoof to tilt his hat so it covered his eyes, and then blindly pointed towards the heroines. Appropriately, a whip crack accompanied the action. “So how about it, Applejack? Why don’t we settle this little score between us, hm?”

“Indeed!” Flam mirrored his sibling’s pose, moving so they were back-to-back. “This little score between us should be settled!”

“… Much as ah’d love ta lay down a good ol’ paddlin’…” Applejack scoffed with a roll of her eyes. “Ah faced off against Iron Will when we were travellin’ ta Canterlot. Ya’ll will jes’ have ta settle fer th’ others.”

“Hmph! Well, isn’t that just a square kick in the pants?” Flam pouted as he and his brother fell out of their dramatic pose.

“Alright, Apple… what sorry souls would my brother and I be facing against?”

From above, a pink blur landed in front of Twilight and the others. The cobblestone buckled and cracked from the force, and a cloud of dust shot up, obscuring the mysterious figure save for the outline of a dark shadow.

A deadly song of whistling air echoed over the now-silent plaza as a huge sword cut dispersed the dust with a single swipe, and the wielder moved to rest it against her shoulder.

Pinkie puffed out her chest with a look of grim determination as a stray wind tousled her mane.

And once more, from above, a figure of yellow and pink gently floated down on flapping wings to lightly touch the ground and curl inwards beneath the gazes of several dozen ponies.

Fluttershy’s gaze just so happened to catch sight of her own shadow becoming darker as the sun moved out from behind a cloud and she squeaked in alarm before diving behind Pinkie.

“Or perhaps the easiest opponents in history!”
“Or perhaps the easiest opponents in history!”

Pinkie continued giving her impressive death glare and Fluttershy continued displaying her impressive cowardice as the brothers hooted and snorted and slapped their knees with great mirth.

With a beat of her wings and a crunch of popcorn, Rainbow Dash arrived by Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack, carrying a family-sized bucket.

“Flim Flam brothers are back,” Applejack gestured to the laughing duo. “Pinkie an’ Fluttershy are gonna face off against ‘em.”

“Laughter is no laughing matter!” Pinkie growled as she pointed her ridiculously large sword at the brothers. “Laughter should be used with ponies, not at them! Prepare to battle, you meanies! With me, Fluttershy!”

“Oh dear…” Fluttershy reluctantly removed the giant paper fan strapped to her back and folded it out.

“Dear brother, it seems as though we will have to fight these mares.” Flam said as he wiped away a tear.

“How cruel – it’s like two ants squaring off against a bear, wouldn’t you agree?”

“No matter,” Flim scoffed and brushed some invisible lint from his striped shirt. “We have a job to do and by gum we’ll get it done. Ready, Flam?”

Pinkie, Fluttershy, the rest of their friends, and the entirety of the plaza’s populace stared awkwardly as the brothers just… stood there. Smirking confidently but still just standing there.

“Um…” Pinkie lowered her sword and scratched her poofy mane. “Are you guys going to do something?”

“… Erm, well, you see…” Flam’s smirk wavered as he looked to his sibling, ashamed.

“Yes, the thing is… our combat gear was a little too… ‘large’ to bring into the plaza, so we just left it in a more spacious area,” Flim shrugged. “Do you mind if we head there instead?”

“But…” The demure pegasus protested as she turned to her friend in bewilderment. “But aren’t we s-supposed to be winning? I don’t see why-”

Fluttershy squealed in terror and dove behind an awestruck Pinkie Pie as, with a deafening groan of metal, a monstrosity rose to its full height, easily clearing most of the surrounding buildings by a full storey.

Magic and electricity bled out from numerous joints and crevices, and glowed menacingly from within triangular sockets protected by tempered glass in a grinning equine skull, giving it a demonic appearance. The enormous mecha stomped forwards on four limbs that hissed and shot out puffs of scalding hot steam from multiple cooling vents.

It was like a giant metal skeleton, a skeleton that baby skeletons wished to be like when they grew up.

And from within the house-sized skull, the laughter of two stallions blared out from the speakers in its ears, and two shadows could be seen behind the glass eyes.

Pinkie used one hoof to physically close her jaw with the sound of rusty hinges and hummed thoughtfully, eyes narrowed in consideration. “You know… I can’t help but feel this is my fault somehow. Mostly Fluttershy’s, though.”

“Um, sorry to say this, but that’s a lie… if you d-don’t mind me saying, that is…”

“Oh gosh…” Twilight face-hooved as she and the others stood a safe distance away. Some of Canterlot’s populace had stopped to watch – including some of the Royal Guard – but others had more important business than watching a giant robot fight two ponies. “How could this get any dumber?”

“Well, look at what we got here, brother of mine, just as the Lord of Chaos said!”

With a sound not unlike a roaring dragon, the mecha lurched forwards and slammed one foreleg down with pavement-cracking force. Fluttershy eeped and sped in the opposite direction from Pinkie, who dodged out of the way with a jaunty giggle.

“Mares with too much confidence and not enough sense in their head;
standing oh so boldly as if they think they can even compare.”

Pinkie made a building-high leap and slammed her sword down on the mecha’s shoulder. The recoil made her teeth shake in her skull, and she fell back down, shaking as Flim’s voice rang out:

“So why don’t we show them just how well they’re going to faaaaaare?”

Fluttershy darted in and swept Pinkie away before the mecha could turn and stomp on her, the brothers’ voices ringing across the street as they dodged falling hooves and gnashing teeth:

“Well, you’re outmatched and out of luck,
An upcoming loss, that’s all you’ve got.”

“He’s Flim.”

“He’s Flam.”

“We’re the challenger Flim Flam brothers;
Minions of Chaos and dashing robot pilots!”

Fluttershy was too slow to avoid one stomp, so Pinkie held out her sword length-wise and stopped it from completely crushing them into the ground. Fluttershy gave a soft ‘ow’ as they were pressed into the road and Pinkie gritted her teeth, sweating as her sword groaned beneath the mecha’s weight.

“Oh yes we will, and there’s a simple reason for why, you see;
Our robot’s designed to handle anything no matter what the situation may be.
So go ahead and attack with everything you have, I insist that you don’t hold back.”

Pinkie pushed with all her might and managed to free one hoof long enough to press it against her chest, call on her chakra, and teleport both her and Fluttershy out from beneath the hoof and back onto the street.

She winced as the mecha’s hoof viciously shattered the road where they had just been.

“Because you’re never going to beat us and that, my dears, is faaaaact!”

“Oh yes, you’re outmatched and out of luck;
An upcoming loss, that’s all you’ve got.”

The mecha turned to face them and crouched low like a wolf on the prowl, an instant before several compartments opened on its back, and a salvo of rockets – oversized, improvised fireworks – shot out with colourful streams of smoke and a din of high-pitched pews.

Pinkie cooed and clapped at the display, so Fluttershy had to take the initiative and stand up to swing her fan, producing a small tornado that swept forwards and caught the magically-guided rockets.

“He’s Flim.”

“He’s Flam.”

“We’re the challenger Flim Flam brothers!”

The firework-filled tornado continued surging forwards to attack the mecha, but the monstrosity’s right eye shone brightly, and its mouth opened wide so a giant fan could spin and suck up the weather anomaly as if it was nothing.

Internally resetting the rockets back to their firing slots, the mecha reared up even taller on its hind legs, and made ‘jazz hooves’.

“Minions of Chaos and dashing robot pilots!”

“Oh no, it can do jazz hooves, Fluttershy!” Pinkie wailed in dismay. “We’re in for it now!”

“Now, I suppose by now you’re wondering… ‘How to defeat our giant robot’?”

“I say, our marvel of engineering.”

The mecha went back on all fours and shot off a dozen more rockets. Fluttershy squeaked and flew into the air to dodge while Pinkie dashed forwards, leapt onto the first rocket, and used it as a stepping stone for the rest.

Upon leaping off the final one, Pinkie twirled in the air, and somersaulted to give her sword that extra bit of momentum and force when it slammed the mecha’s leering skull.

The force knocked it into the ground, but hardly damaged it, and one of its forelegs dislocated and spun to swat Pinkie away like a fly.

“And I suppose by now you’re realizing how ineffective your blows are.”

A series of razor-sharp wind gusts clashed against the mecha’s body and drew sparks, but only succeeded in scuffing the pale yellow paintjob.

Looking up, the robot’s nasal igniters sparked and sent out two long streams of blue fire, which landed a direct hit on Fluttershy. It didn’t burn her, but it still hurt like hell, and Fluttershy whipped her fan about to beat back the flames.

“That oversized sword barely causes dents and that fan hardly causes offense.”

“Yes, you’re up against the stop, the end, the immovable object in your quest, and it’s a sparkling giant robot built by the very best of the best.”

“So why don’t you two surrender and just go hoooooome?!”

“Can we what? Can we fight even harder and get hurt even worse?!” Pinkie sprung up from the debris of a shop’s wall she had smashed into and nodded cheerily. “Of course we can, Fluttershy! Let’s fight until our bones are crying!”

“The greatest invention in Equestria… one for the books of history.”

“The undefeatable-”

“-indestructible-”

“-implacable-”

“-but oh so lovable-”

“Flim Flam Brothers Hyper Omega Cycler Mecha 8000!!”

“What do you say, Canterlot?!” Flam asked as the mecha suddenly jumped into the air, casually broke physics to remain there, and cast a rain of rockets down on the two mares.

Drolly and with very little enthusiasm, the crowd replied as Fluttershy and Pinkie ran around – in terror and excitement, respectively – in little circles, narrowly dodging the projectiles:

“Yeah, they’re outmatched and out of luck;
An upcoming loss, that’s all they’ve got.
Please Flim, Please Flam – use those rockets that you spam;
We want this over and done with, we’ve really got a lot of business to get to.”

Physics finally caught up with the mecha and gravity vindictively brought it back to the ground, though Fluttershy and Pinkie were in no position to retaliate immediately, as preoccupied with dodging the last rockets as they were.

“Well, what do you say, Canterlot?” Flam’s voice rang out as the mecha turned to the crowd with a shrug. “Should we turn this battle up?”

“We don’t care;
Just hurry up.”

The crowd chanted supportively – as supportively as saying, ‘doughnuts at Joe’s’ could be under the circumstances – as the brothers worked the controls in tandem to make the mecha flex its mechanical muscles, blatantly showboating as the inner core called on its spare reserves of magical and electrical energy.

None paid any attention nor batted an eye to the charred and battered heroines that rose from a pile of rubble, their manes frazzled and out of control.

Ignoring them, Flim and Flam continued making their vessel flex and strut, the mechanical body gradually building heat and energy, enough that its exoskeleton caused the very air around it to wave and distort. A blood-red light shone from between its teeth, and the cooling vents along its spine started constantly ejecting steam.

“You’re seeing it live and now, folks!” Flam said. “This mecha is kicking into overdrive and diverting all power to the most vital of systems. The result, you see, is an overclock of the limbic and processing routines which is what makes our beauty move; this move places a slight amount of stress on inner workings, but that is hardly a matter because the state of the art Flim Flam Brothers Liquid Coolant Processor is venting excess heat that ensures our robot is operating at peak capacity!”

“Feel free to not take a sneak peek because it’ll burn your face and then you’ll suuuuuue!”

“Now hold on a minute, you meanies;
We won’t be beat that easy!”

Never short of sugar-induced energy, Pinkie bounded out of the rubble while Fluttershy was still struggling, and struck a dramatic pose that flicked any remaining soot off her by sheer melodrama.

“You’re robot’s super-cool, but it can’t match up to us;
Because something of metal and magic, and excuse me ‘cause I’m about to go critic;
Can’t match the zeal and heart of true warriors!”

The mecha stopped showing off long enough to shake and jitter in place as it expressed the brothers’ laughter.

“Well, Pinkie, I’m glad you pointed that out, my dear;
I say, I’m glad you pointed that out, you see;
Because there’s something about our machine I must point out, and I think it will quell those doubts.”

The mecha’s glass eyes flashed and briefly flickered to static before magically playing recorded clips of the heroines’ previous battles: a flame-wreathed Applejack punching a testosterone-filled Iron Will switched to a clip of Rarity dancing between lightning bolts and then switched to one of Rainbow Dash dodging Lightning Dust’s attacks.

The right eye blanked out and momentarily allowed a peek of Flim working over a console full of ridiculous amounts of levers, pulleys, buttons, and one bicycle horn.

“Yes sir, yes ma’am, this great machine has analysed your previous fights;
Zeal and heart ain’t got anything on it.
So I think you better wise up and give up because Pinkie, my dear, we’ve got you in our siiiiiights!”

Pinkie suddenly leapt forwards, swinging her sword mightily against the exposed eye, but the mecha was quicker; it ducked the slash with impressive finesse and slapped her away with a swipe of one massive leg.

“So what do you say, Canterlot?” Flam addressed the crowd yet again, going so far as to turn away from his opponents. They couldn’t do anything to harm them, so why worry? “Do you see how rather one-sided this fight is? I know she does! So does he! That fellow’s betting money on us! Oh, nope – he’s just robbing that other stallion, but that’s okay because here comes the final verse!”

As Fluttershy carefully helped Pinkie up from the trench she had dug in solid stone with her face, a series of measured quakes jostled them as the mecha reared up and started tap dancing all around with remarkable agility.

“We’re saying you are outmatched and out of luck;
An upcoming loss, that’s all you’ve got!”

“He’s Flim!”

“He’s Flam!”

“We’re the challenger Flim Flam brothers!
Minions of Chaos and dashing robot pilooooooootts!”

“So by all accounts, that thing should have collapsed beneath its own weight several dozen times over,” Twilight sighed, half-heartedly looking around and murmuring, “If anypony cares? No? Nopony cares? As per the norm? The laws of physics should be ‘suggestions’ instead of, you know, ‘laws’? Alright then.”

“Pinkie?” Fluttershy whispered. “Y-you know, um… you know that ‘parallel universe theory’ that Twilight f-forced us to listen to as punishment for accidentally flushing one of her science things down the toilet?”

“Yeppers! There were so many long words, and then my brain started hurting.”

“W-well, c-can’t we just take comfort in that, in some other universe, we didn’t give up… a-and just give up?”

“Fluttershy!!” Pinkie bounced back onto her hooves, her massive sword miraculously landing so it was perfectly balanced length-wise on her back. She looked affronted, and gazed at Fluttershy in a new light. “… You’re yellow.”

“But more importantly than that, I can’t believe you’d even suggest surrendering! This whole quest is the most splend-erific, fun-tastic adventure we’ve had in ages! The flashy stunts! The posing! The epic battle between chaos and harmony! Don’t you want to keep pushing on?”

“I-I just don’t think I’m cut out for all of this… violence.” Fluttershy shrugged and ducked her head, ashamed.

“Are you kidding?” Pinkie threw her hooves in the air, exasperated. “I saw you throw out those razor winds like nopony’s business!”

“W-well, yes, but you were in danger, and it just… s-sort of came to me,” The demure pegasus shook her head again and sighed. “But then the robot turned on me and it just looked so scary that I… I-”

Pressing a pink hoof against her friends lips, Pinkie scratched her chin and narrowed her eyes, the gears in her head switching from hyper-speed to ludicrous-speed.

“Hey!” Flam called off in the distance, one of the mecha’s legs waving for attention. “If you wish to surrender, then kindly lay down your arms-”

“Uh, yeah, just hang on a second!” Pinkie waved in response before moving in closer to Fluttershy and lowering her voice – close enough that the pegasus could smell the sugar and quiet enough that… ha ha, yeah, no. “Flutters! I just got the best idea!”

“Now, I can’t really put myself in danger because otherwise it’d just be one on one…” Pinkie clasped her hooves around Fluttershy’s shoulders, and flashed a devilish grin. “So what you need to do is imagine.”

“Super! Very! A lot!” Pinkie’s hooved zipped up to press the pegasus’ cheeks together. “Can you imagine that? Those poor animals being bored out of their cute skulls!”

“Rrrrrgh…” Fluttershy began to huff as images of cute woodland critters sobbing fat tears because two evil stallions were forcing them to watch renovations filled her head.

“Great!” Pinkie pulled back, satisfied that she had thoroughly planted the seeds of rage. “Now it’s time for Aunt Pinkie to show her stuff!”

“So!” Flam’s voice crackled through the speakers as the mecha dipped its massive skull to look down at the tiny mare. “Got some more spunk in ya, eh?”

“Because we’re going to beat you harder than the sun on a hot day!”
“Because we’re going to beat you harder than the sun on a hot day!”

“Hmph!” Pinkie smirked confidently as she grabbed her greatsword again. “I’ve been taking it easy on you two, you know.”

“Well, um… no, not really. I’ve sort of been trying pretty hard, actually…” After frowning at her lack of progress, Pinkie rediscovered her drive, and her smirk came back ten-fold. She idly blew a strand of her mane out of her face. “But now I’m gonna try ultra-super-hard instead of just super-hard, and with two adjectives we’re sure to win!”

“Then our victory…” Pinkie chuckled lowly as she planted her sword into the ground with a sharp crack of stone. “Is gonna taste all the sweeter. And believe me…” She slowly rose onto her hindlegs, placed one foreleg parallel to her body and straightened the other so it reached for the sky, and turned her head to the side. “I know a thing or two about… sweetness.”

“Well, my dear…” Flim began as the mecha reached up to twirl an invisible moustache. “I’m afraid that ‘sweetness’ is hardly going to help you in this fight. Oh, brother?”

“What say we end this fight and spare these two mares the cruel mercy of false hope?”

With another bout of sadistic laughter, the mecha stopped its grooming, and cracked open its jaws. Magic and electricity started gathering in the back of its throat, and the mecha’s plated body shuddered from the tremendous energy being outputted.

Pinkie remained standing completely still before the ball of energy, seemingly unperturbed and still smiling like a cat that caught the canary.

“That’s right, just keep standing there, young lady,” Flam said. The mecha’s jaws opened even wider as the ball grew in size and strength. “And it’ll all be sweet as pie in three…”

Orange and yellow sparks erupted from the robot’s lower jaw as a ball of cyclonic winds buffeted it from below, forcing its mouth to close shut and its head to stutter uncontrollably. Head tilted towards the sky, the robot could no longer bear its store of energy and recoiled amidst an explosion of smoke and flames that blew out most of its teeth.

As the mecha groaned and staggered about, the ball of wind slammed back down onto the road and quickly dispersed, leaving behind a very angry pegasus.

“Whoo! Nice one, Flutters!” Pinkie cheered and moved to uproot her sword and rest it against her shoulder with a flourish. “Now… let’s get silly.”

The mechanical behemoth’s stabilizers came back online and the brothers, safe and clear-headed from their gyro-sphere cockpit, sighed and muttered angrily as they worked the controls.

“I told you we should have reinforced the spine around the fourth and fifth vertebra!” Flim replied.

“Ah, flame and folly – we’re still at 89% efficiency…” Flam shrugged, looking back out the eyes. “More than enough to handle two… two, uh… Flim, what are we looking at right now?”

“Hm?” Flim looked up and narrowed his eyes at their enemies. “What on earth do you mean by that, brother? It’s just the same pink and yellow mares with a giant apparition floating behind… Oh, now I see what you mean.”

The vexed Fluttershy seething and huffing with her mane and tail swirling in a self-sustained wind was, obviously, terrifying, but more unsettling than that was the ghostly figure that hovered just behind Pinkie, neatly mirroring her pose and appearance.

But unlike Pinkie, the three-metre tall apparition was straight-maned, duller in colour, and was surrounded by dozens upon dozens of knives that orbited around her like a macabre ring of asteroids and debris.

“Oh, Flimmy? Flammy?” Pinkie cooed with a cheery expression. “I’d like you to meet my friend – I call her Diane.”

‘Diane’ winked and picked out a machete from the orbiting ring and ran her tongue along the flat edge.

Two gulps echoed out from the mecha’s ears as the robot pulled on an invisible shirt.

Fluttershy growled and tucked herself into a ball before spinning rapidly, turning into a dark grey ball of winds that tore up the ground as she zipped forwards. Pinkie followed her league, needing only to nod for her apparition to pick her up as it wasn’t intangible in the first place and toss her at the mecha, smoky pink wisps trailing behind as it followed her on ghostly marionette strings.

The brothers recovered from their uneasiness and worked in tandem to make their mecha snort out blue flames and stomp its right hoof. Fluttershy darted out of the way and zipped up the limb with a trail of sparks while Pinkie pushed her hoof forwards and her apparition misted in front of her and caused the ring of blades to spin rapidly, dispersing the flames.

Fluttershy buzzsawed her way to the mecha’s joint and circled it several times, spinning even more intensely, until she managed to cut through and detach the appendage. She fell back to the ground and so did it, and she made her way towards the hindleg on the same side.

Meanwhile, Pinkie and her apparition bullrushed through the flames and hit the robot’s head with a one-two attack – Diane first impaling a long, thin dagger through the upper jaw and Pinkie delivering a follow-up hit with her sword to drive it straight through and out the lower jaw.

“Argh!” Flam cried. “We’ve lost one leg and our oral defenses are compromised!”

The mecha leaped backwards to create some distance and snorted flames onto the road to create a wall of flame. Using the moment’s respite, Flim slammed his hoof down on a big red button. From where the right foreleg should have been, a stream of light green magic and blue electricity shot out from the socket and swirled together to form the basic shape of a leg.

“That’s going to draw a lot of our power…” Flim said gravely, using telekinesis to wipe his sweaty brow with a cloth.

“Then we’ll just have to kick it up a few notches,” Flam retorted, eyes narrowing as the wall of flames died and their opponents came for them once more. “Fire the rockets and initiate the close-range combat protocol!”

The mecha crouched low in response to the inputs and fired another barrage of rockets from its back. Once the last of the projectiles had left, it suddenly emitted a window-shattering roar and jumped high into the air.

Pinkie gasped as a shadow fell over her and commanded Diane to slice the rockets in mid-air while shouting, “Fluttershy! Above!”

Fluttershy heard the cry and dashed to the side, narrowly avoiding three rockets that blew apart the roadwork and a falling robot that flattened the scorched debris. Unfortunately, she wasn’t fast enough to escape the shockwave, and bounced into the air, losing her momentum and becoming visible again long enough for the mecha to close the distance between them with a clothesline.

Fluttershy smashed into the side of a building and barely recovered in time to flap her wings and fly upwards to dodge the mecha’s shadowy limb as it grew claws and gouged out the building’s wall.

“Agh! You hurt Fluttershy! Nopony does that on my watch!” Pinkie snarled as she slashed the last rocket in half and directed Diane to toss her at the mecha. “Hiyyyaaa!!”

The mecha turned to face her and reared up, revealing its segmented underbelly that folded out like a jigsaw puzzle in reverse and extended a dozen mechanical arms from its metal innards.

Pinkie sliced five in one hefty swing and Diane cut apart several more, but there was enough that it hardly mattered; one caught Pinkie around the waist with four spindly fingers and delivered an electric shock.

“Yeeeooowwzaaa!” Pinkie’s body was wrought with spasms and her apparition twisted to reflect her pain. “Th-th-this is a-almost as b-b-bad as m-my j-joy b-b-buzzers-s-s!”

Holding her tight, the robot pitched forwards in a ground-shaking body slam and quickly jumped back before the pink mare could do any damage to its insides.

“Wait…” Flam’s heart hammered against his ribs as he directed the robot’s eyes to look around. “Flim, do you see where the yellow one went?”

Flim took over one of the robot’s eyes to look around for himself, giving it a very silly cross-eyed expression. “Can’t say that I have, brother.”

Both brothers shrieked shrilly as the face of doom pressed up against the mecha’s right eye. Unthinking, Flam commanded the mecha’s solid foreleg to reach up and swat the terrifying image away.

Sprawled on its back from the powerful facehoof, the robot could not react in time as Fluttershy zipped back, landed between its eyes, and vanished in a rolling ball of sharp winds that cut through the metal shell with brutal efficiency. The brothers panicked, reached for the controls, but by the time they issued out an order to grab the offender…

A jagged hole emerged in the cockpit as a grey blur whizzed in and started bouncing around the enclosed space, sending sparks and wires and debris down on Flim and Flam as they wailed and clung to one another, helpless as smoke started filling the place.

“Oh, how could it have come to this again?!” Flam cried as a klaxon blared in warning. “Shot down by the same mares!”

“A cruel fate, indeed,” Flim sniffled amidst the shaking. “If only we stuck to selling our products instead of building military-grade giant robots in the interest of re-enacting animated shows streamed from a foreign country!”

Their epiphany was cut short as, outside the mecha’s body, Pinkie summoned up a building-sized sword for Diane to wield, and the apparition gleefully decapitated the mecha before cleaving its body, neck to groin.

“Oh, how barbaric!” Rarity grimaced in disgust, but clapped along with her friends nonetheless, quietly adding, “Tch, always the size of the sword with that mare…”

Seeing as the threat had been dealt with, the crowd that had gathered to watch were free to carry on their merry way, some grumbling about being held up and some sighing in relief that it had at least distracted everypony from the nightmarish shopping craze occurring at the nearby plaza.

Skirting around the potholes, chunks of metal, and patches of destroyed roadwork, Twilight and the others approached the ruined corpse of the mecha, where Pinkie was absorbing Diane back into her body and Fluttershy was cautiously walking around, looking very confused.

“We just did the most awesome-est thing ever and beat a giant robot with our awesomeness!” Pinkie cheered and jumped in place for all about two seconds, and then sat down on her rump, frowning. “Jeez, I’m really hungry. Do you think we can stop at Doughnut Joe’s on the way to the castle?”

A few yards away, Flim and Flam crawled out of the mecha’s skull, energetic and bustling with anticipation despite the scorch marks all over their bodies and the state of their clothing.

“Come now, brother!” Flim said as he helped Flam up. “This latest plan is bound to make us tons of money!”

“What could go wrong?” Flam laughed as he trotted away from the wreckage and the heroines alongside his sibling.

“Well, they don’t seem too, ah…” Applejack smirked as she lightly nudged a football-sized piece of the mecha’s shell. “‘Broken up’ about their loss. Ah heh heh heh… heh…”

Pinkie was still moaning about how hungry she was, but the others were looking at her with no small amount of disappointment and disgust.

“AJ…” Rainbow Dash sighed. “I’m seriously gonna hit you now. C’mere!”

“It wasn’t that bad, I guess. I grew up with Shining Armor, so…” Twilight shrugged. “Anyway, if we’re done disrespecting the laws that hold our reality together, once again, then we should be heading to Canterlot Castle,” Turning, Twilight gazed up at the shining palace that could be seen towering high above the city in the distance. “That’s where Discord is and the Elements of Harmony. Soon, we’ll be bringing this to a close.”

“Glk! D-dying! Erk!” Rainbow Dash coughed as Applejack casually squeezed tighter.

“I don’t know what we’re going to find there,” Twilight sighed. “But whatever it is… it’s probably going to be very stupid.”

“Hee hee hee hee…” Discord cackled maniacally as he sensed the heroines close in. “Be prepared for something very stupid, Twilight Sparkle.”

“No shortage of that here…” Star Secret murmured in the background, downing her sixth glass of whiskey and moaning afterwards. “Curse my tolerance…”

Twilight VS Anime

by Lupine Infernis

Chapter 5: This Chapter Was Foreshadowed In The Last Chapter's Title