Atmospheric music for your optional auditory pleasure:
"Fluttershy, aren't you ready yet? I've been looking forward to this all week!" Rarity stood at Fluttershy's doorstep, waiting for her to come out.
"Just one more minute," Fluttershy replied. A few moments later, she emerged from the front door.
"Darling, what ever caused you to be so delayed?" Rarity inquired politely.
"I was just brushing my mane," she replied sheepishly, "I like to make sure everything is as easy as possible for the spa ponies to do their jobs."
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Fluttershy, that is their job. Today is about one thing and one thing only: spending a completely relaxing, re-invigorating, replenishing day at the spa without a worry in the world. That includes worrying about being a bother. Now, let's get going shall we?"
Fluttershy and Rarity trotted to the Ponyville Spa and walked to the front counter.
"Hello, Lotus Blossom," said Rarity. "Reservation for two?"
She checked her schedule and nodded, ushering them to another room. "I'm afraid there was a slight scheduling conflict," Lotus Blossom said, "so we'll have to do the steam bath before the hooficures."
"Scheduling conflict?" Rarity asked quizzically, "that hasn't ever been a problem before."
"Yes, and we're very sorry for the inconvenience. The pony receiving the hooficure should be finished in twenty minutes or so."
Rarity seemed slightly distraught at the thought of getting her hooficure after the steam bath, but hid it rather well. "Who is the pony?"
"I'm afraid I can't answer that. This pony made it very clear to us that their identity must remain a secret."
Confused, Rarity cocked her head slightly sideways, and Lotus Blossom replied silently with a combination of an eye roll and a shrug of her shoulders as she brought them into a different room adjacent to the room they would have been going into. Inside was a small enclosed area lined with hardwood floors, walls and ceilings. Fluttershy and Rarity got comfortable on the raised benches lining the walls.
"I wonder who that secretive pony is," said Rarity as she sighed comfortably. The air in the room was getting very hot and full of moisture.
"They probably have a good reason," replied Fluttershy, "I can't even imagine how awful it would feel to have a secret uncovered." Fluttershy twisted her hoof against the wooden bench awkwardly and looked in the opposite direction.
"I do suppose you're right," said Rarity. "Well, let's just put that little tidbit behind us and relax, shall we?"
Fluttershy smiled and closed her eyes, taking in a long deep breath of the hot, moist air. A few moments later, however, a muffled voice could be heard through the wall of the hooficure room.
"Did you hear that?" asked Rarity.
"Hear what?"
The muffled voice continued talking.
"That. That voice sounds familiar."
"I'm sure it's nopony in particular. Besides, Ponyville is a small town, you're bound to recognize somepony almost anywhere you go."
The muffled voice became slightly louder and it had a distinctly high-pitched squeakiness that sounded all too familiar.
"Is that..." said Rarity as she pushed her ear against the wall.
"Who?" asked Fluttershy.
"I think its...Rainbow Dash," she replied, pulling her ear away from the wall to look at Fluttershy with wide eyes.
"...are you sure?" Fluttershy replied softly.
"Listen for yourself!"
"Hey, watch the hooves pal. These babies are part of a delicate flying machine, you know."
"Yes, Rainbow Dash. Sorry, Rainbow Dash."
"Shh! Didn't you get the memo? This is supposed to be a secret spa visit. You can't let anypony know I'm here. Got that?"
The spa pony rolled her eyes and continued working on Dash's hooves ever so gently. "Yes, Rainb--mamn."
Dash eyed her and let out an irritated snort. The hooficurist stepped aside for a moment to grab something and rolled her eyes out of sight from Rainbow Dash, muttering something to herself about why Dash was even here in the first place.
"Come on," said Rainbow Dash, "the longer I stay here, the more of a chance somepony I know will see me."
The spa pony rolled her eyes again and went back to work, then decided to inquire why she was there out of spite. "So, what brings you here, if you don't mind me asking?"
Dash eyed her wearily, as if she thought she was some sort of undercover agent, but surprisingly obliged to answer her question. "Well," Dash smiled nervously, "under any other circumstances, I wouldn't voluntarily set a hoof in this place, but I've got a pretty good reason."
"And what reason is that?" the spa pony replied as she took off a larger chunk. Dash recoiled her hoof a bit and then gingerly put it back into place.
"There's, well..." Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, "...there's a certain somepony I'm trying to impress."
The spa pony smiled modestly, trying her best not to grin from ear to ear. The words that were gracing her ears from Ponyville's toughest mare, besides Applejack, were a truly rare gift that not many ponies would ever have the pleasure of hearing. She pushed her luck and asked who the special somepony was in response.
Once again, Rainbow Dash surprisingly answered honestly. It was almost as if she was too excited not to share this information to somepony. Somepony who didn't really know her, anyways. "Well," said Rainbow Dash, "it's--"
"Hello," said Bulk Biceps as he walked into the steam room wearing a large pink towel over himself. Fluttershy and Rarity had their ears pressed firmly against the wall and they both recoiled in unison at his sudden appearance.
"H-Hello," said Rarity, still trying to make out what was being said in the other room.
"It's nice to see you, Fluttershy," Bulk Biceps said as he sat down on the opposite side of the room. The wooden bench bowed downwards and creaked as he took his seat.
"You too," she replied extra softly with her ear still half-pressed against the wall.
There was a brief silence, and they both surreptitiously sat near the wall to try and hear Rainbow Dash's conversation, but Bulk Biceps let out a long sigh that made it impossible for them to make any of the conversation out. But then, finally, it was silent.
"So you're trying to impress this somepony by showing them..."
"That I can be fancy and sophisticated," Dash replied. "if I want to," she added immediately.
"And when will you be meeting this somepony?"
Rainbow Dash was slowly becoming an open book, eager to talk to somepony about her secret desires. "Tonight, actually. They don't know I'll be visiting."
"Well, I'm sure they'll be glad to see you." The spa pony took off another large chunk from Dash's hoof and she yelped in surprise. "You know, there aren't any nerves in your hooves," the spa pony said. "You shouldn't feel a thing from any of this."
Rainbow Dash hesitantly put her hooves back in place. "I don't care. It still feels like they do to me. Are we almost done?"
"Almost."
"Well, how much longer--" Dash yelped once more as the spa pony took out another large chunk from her hoof, leaving Dash breathing heavily from shock.
"We are finished," the pony replied, trying her best to stifle any laughter. Today was not one of her easier days of work.
"Thank Celestia," Dash sighed, removing her hooves from the padded restraint and standing up on the tiled floors. She almost slipped as she got to her hooves from how smooth they were. "Yeesh, how do ponies walk like this?"
"She's leaving!" Fluttershy urgently whispered to Rarity.
Rarity cocked her head and looked back at her. "And what are you saying, darling? That we should tail her even further? Didn't you say earlier how awful it must feel for a secret to get out?"
Fluttershy blushed slightly. "Well, yes..." she replied softly, "...but this is just...it's too good." A devilish smile overcame her against her will and Rarity looked at her in surprise.
"Darling, I must say, this isn't like you...but I agree. Who do you think she'll be going to see tonight?"
The sounds of hooves on tile clattered from outside of the steam room. Fluttershy and Rarity pressed their faces against the small window, cheek to cheek. Rainbow Dash was walking into another room.
"That's the beauty mask room," Rarity said with her mouth still pushed up to the glass.
"Is there any way we can get in there and hide?" Fluttershy replied with a muffled voice.
"There's a mud bath."
"That sounds dangerous."
A few moments of silence passed, filled only by the loud snoring of Bulk Biceps, who had passed out not after one minute of entering the room. Fluttershy and Rarity looked at each other, then left the steam room and bee-lined straight to where Rainbow Dash had entered the other room.
Lotus Blossom came up behind them. "The hooficurist will be ready for you two in just a couple moments. She has to sharpen her tools. She said that last pony looked like she hadn't had a single hooficure in her entire life."
"That's alright darling," said Rarity. "I think we'll take our baths next."
Lotus Blossom rolled her eyes. Out of all the ponies that came to her spa, Rarity was the most particular about the order in which things were done. A couple moments later, the sounds of Rainbow Dash's hoofsteps came towards the door they were standing by.
"Quick, Fluttershy, hide!"
Fluttershy darted to a nearby potted plant and cowered behind it and Rarity ducked behind a counter.
Rainbow Dash emerged cautiously from the door, looking both ways before coming out. "Is this whole beauty mask thing really necessary?"
Lotus Bloom replied with a yes from afar behind the counter. "I'll be there in a couple minutes."
Dash sighed wearily and trotted off towards the little mare's room. A couple seconds passed and Rarity emerged from counter, her eyes barely peeking out. She whispered to Fluttershy. "Now's our chance! Go!"
Fluttershy came out from the potted plant and Rarity crawled out from behind the counter and they went into the other room. Inside, they jumped into the mud pool and waited a couple minutes for Rainbow Dash to return. The mud pool was shaped like a half circle, with one side obscured from the other by a wall. Fluttershy and Rarity went to one end of the pool and waited with their heads ducked as far down as possible. Rainbow Dash came in with Lotus Bloom and sat down in a comfy chair.
Lotus Bloom applied the face cream and cucumbers to her eyes. "I'll be right back," she said, "there's two other ponies who'll be coming in here as well."
"What?" said Dash, the cucumbers flying off her face. "I can't--"
Lotus Bloom had already left the room.
Dash panicked and nervously trotted around the room, looking for a place to hide until she found the only option viable to her. She trotted hastily up to the large mud bath in the center of the room and dipped her hoof in. It was a mildly warm temperature. The sounds of hooves clacking from beyond the door echoed into the room and Dash quickly slipped into the mud bath, with Rarity and Fluttershy hiding behind the center wall.
Lotus Bloom walked into the room with two ponies none of them would have never expected to see here.
"Coming here was one of your better ideas," said Celestia. "The spas in Canterlot are nice, but I can't go two minutes without running into somepony wanting to talk about our relations with the other nations or some kind of politics."
"One of my better ideas?" Luna replied.
"One of many," Celestia replied with a smile as she laid down in the chair, brushing off two cucumbers.
Lotus Bloom applied the face cream and cucumbers to their eyes and left the room, leaving them all stuck in a silent room with the two rulers of their kingdom blocking their only exit. Fluttershy nor Rarity dared to whisper anything, but their eyes and body language told everything.
This was a mistake, Fluttershy's eyes widened.
Tell me about it. How are we supposed to get out of here? Rarity evoked.
Wait? Fluttershy shrugged.
This is a three hour procedure, Rarity glared.
Well, what do you suggest we do? Fluttershy gave her a look.
You're the pony who couldn't resist this juicy secret first!
You egged me on!
Oh come on, Darling.
It's not all my fault!
It is mostly.
Well...you're a big meanie head!
Oh, so we're resorting to hoof language now?
We've got three hours to spare. Might as well make them interesting!
Rarity let out an audible snort.
"Did you hear that, sister?" said Luna.
"What?" Celestia responded. "I didn't hear anything."
"It was nothing I guess," Luna replied.
"What do you think it would be? A spy sent here to assassinate us?"
"No, but you can never be too careful," replied Luna.
"On Spa Day, you can," Celestia replied dismissively.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was hatching a plan to get out of the room unheard and unseen. She waited a few moments after the two sisters had stopped talking and climbed slowly out of the mud bath, covered completely from head to hoof. She slunk off towards the edge of the room, walking as silently as possible. What she hadn't realized, however, was the glob of mud that dripped off from her wing and onto the tiled floors.
It landed with a wet splut and she froze.
"There it is again," said Luna.
"Please, sister. You must relax. Today is about nothing but peace and relaxation."
"But--"
"Peace. And relaxation."
"Tia, I really think--"
"I get one day a year to be relieved from my duties, and I won't have it be spoiled by your suspicion of an assassination attempt, of all things."
Luna sighed and laid back down on the chair, trying to relax. Rainbow Dash stood completely still, only a small ways away from Celestia and Luna. She resumed her slow, quiet walking towards the door.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy and Rarity were watching this whole ordeal from the cover of the mud bath, unsure of what to do. Their indecisiveness, however, did not matter as soon as Fluttershy found her nose feeling rather tingly. She wrinkled her nose in a desperate attempt to prevent the inevitable, but it was of no use.
Fluttershy sneezed the most innocent, tiny sneeze that anypony had ever sneezed.
"Who's there?" said Luna, taking off her cucumbers, only to see a mud-covered Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash froze in place once more but quickly came to her senses as she realized that the mud concealed her true identity. "Uhh," she muttered, "I was just...coming in to clean the mud bath. Sorry to bother you."
Celestia took off her cucumbers. "Clean the mud bath?"
"Um, yes. Only the highest quality mud for our visitors," Rainbow Dash saluted the princess, sending a couple drops of mud flying off her hoof and onto them.
Celestia brushed it off. "Are you new here?"
"Y-yes, I am," Rainbow Dash replied. "Sorry, I'm still in the learning process."
"Everypony's got to start somewhere," said Celestia with a smile. Luna still eyed her wearily.
Rainbow Dash walked out of the door and breathed a sigh of relief as she left the room. Back inside, Fluttershy and Rarity were still in the mud bath.
That was probably our only ticket out of here, Rarity conveyed. Talk about a perfect cover. They won't buy there being three spa ponies cleaning the mud baths.
Maybe we can just let them know we're here? Fluttershy shrugged. We don't have anything to hide.
And how do we explain we've been sitting in complete silence for several minutes, listening to their conversation?
Good point.
Rainbow Dash decided to forego the rest of the spa treatment and immediately left the building, making sure nopony else could see her. She would wash off the mud later, when nopony was around. She cleaned herself off in the privacy of her own home and readied herself for the surprise visit she had been planning for all too long.
After waiting for nearly three hours in the mud bath, Fluttershy and Rarity could finally leave when Celestia and Luna left the spa.
"Oh, my mane..." Rarity groaned.
"Rarity," Fluttershy whispered softly, "look at your fur."
"GOODNESS, it's a light shade of BROWN!"
Rarity brushed frantically at her sides trying to remove the mud from her fur, but it had practically dyed it that color. "Oh, I do hope this isn't permanent. This would throw off my entire wardrobe."
Fluttershy rolled her eyes.
"Do you know many colors that go with brown, darling? I can only think of one, and it's pink! One color!"
"Perhaps...you could bleach it?"
"Bleach? Do you know what that would do to the quality?" Rarity sighed. "Maybe if I use a very small concentration..."
Fluttershy sighed and looked downwards. "This was a big mistake..."
"And we didn't even figure out who Dashie's special somepony is," Rarity sighed. "Oh well, I guess it's not for us to know anyways. Come on, Fluttershy, let's leave this place. I'll schedule us in for next week..."
Fluttershy and Rarity parted ways and returned to their separate homes. Rarity walked into the Carousel Boutique, hoping to Celestia that she wouldn't have to explain her off-color fur to Sweetie Belle. Thankfully, she had already gone to bed for the night. Rarity put on a spot of tea in the kitchen to unwind from the day's hectic events, but was greeted by three knocks on the front door. She walked hesitantly over to the door to answer it and opened it with a slow creak.
"Hi, Rarity," said Rainbow Dash.
Rarity's eyes widened. "Dash...what...brings you here?"
"Well, actually, it's kind of a few weird questions I have for you."
Rarity opened the door further, a million thoughts racing through her mind. "Sure, darling...I just made some tea. Please, come in."
Rainbow Dash came into her house and they sat down at the table with the tea. Rarity sat awkwardly across from Rainbow Dash, awaiting the seemingly inevitable awkward question that was soon to come. Rainbow Dash, with feelings for me? she thought to herself. That doesn't make any sense.
"First question," said Dash, "why is your fur all brownish?" Rainbow Dash laughed a little bit. She didn't seem to be nervous at all, which made Rarity even more confused.
"I, um..." Rarity murmured, "was out gardening today and haven't had a chance to wash off yet."
"Heh, that reminds me of something that happened to me today," Dash replied. "Anyways, I have a really important question to ask you."
Oh no, here it comes, thought Rarity.
"So," said Rainbow Dash, "what do you think about me and..."
Don't say you. Don't say you. Don't say you.
"...Bulk Biceps?"
Rarity's mouth went agape.
"What? You don't think we'd work?"
"I--thought..."
"What did you think? I came to ask you because I thought, of all the ponies I know, who would be the best to ask about this kind of stuff? Bulk is super tough and masculine, and I didn't know if he would ever want a pony like, well, you know...me."
"You think he would only like somepony who is fancy, sophisticated and cultured?"
"Exactly. What is that saying? Opposites attract?"
Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. "I think you should go for it, darling. You can only miss the shots you don't take."
Rainbow Dash took a sip of the tea. "Thanks, Rarity. Well, I'm off to go take a shot, I guess. Wish me luck!"
"Good luck, Dashie," Rarity smiled.
The door closed with a loud thump and Rarity relaxed in her chair, taking another sip of her tea. Sweetie Belle came down from upstairs. "What was that loud noise, Rarity?" She rubbed her eyes. "And why are you a weird, brownish color?"
Rarity sighed wearily and put down her tea. "You know what they say darling: curiosity dyed the mare brown."
"Nopony says that."
"They will be, darling. They will be."