"It's the 'What are the odds?' drinking game. Take a drink everytime you hear a reference."
”Ok, what should we do now? Since the show starts in three hours, I did not expect us to get here that fast.” She stops walking and I look back at her and she just looks confused. “What?”
“You said you were surprised that we got here that fast, but it was you who got us here that fast… I don’t get it.” I chuckle slightly.
“I don’t get it either, I’m just as confused as you are, it felt like I was taken over by something.” Little does she know that I actually was taken over. ‘Are you talking about me?’ Kind of obvious but yes. ‘Oh ok, go on then.’
“Huh? Sure that makes sense, not really but I will go with it.” Good, that’s perfect. “As for what to do, hmm… How about we go get something to eat? I know a great place.” She goes to restaurants? I would never have guessed, but it makes sense at the same time.
“Sure, lead the way Dashie.” She giggles a bit and then motions me to follow her.
We arrive at a place called…McDaisy, seriously? ‘BEST. PUN. EVER!’ NO! It’s the worst pun ever. ‘You don’t get it do you?’ OF COURSE I DO! It’s just bad. I facepalm. “Dave, why did you just facehoof?” Forgot they change stuff in the language.
“Oh, nothing. This place just reminds of something on Earth. And it’s really ridiculus. Just to make sure, are there any similar places like this but they are not the same?”
“Of course there are but this one is my personal favorite. Some examples of different places, there is Cloudsdale Fried Vegetables, but there is also Burger Princess but there is a lot more but those are the most common.” I facepalm again. “They exist where you come from as well?”
“Yes but with different names though. Let’s just get something to eat; I’m getting more hungry by the minute.” She nods and we walk inside. When we enter we immediately hear somepony yell.
“OH GOD IT’S A MONSTER AND IT’S HERE TO KILL US ALL!” Oh, yeah forgot that I don’t fit in very well.
“Just give me whatever it is that you are having as long as it’s not flowers, I can’t eat flowers, and I’ll just wait outside.” She nods.
“Sure thing Dave, I will be out as soon as possible.” Everypony is still shaking in fear as I walk outside again.
Why is everypony so racist? ‘How the heck should I know? You should totally ask that random stallion in front of you if he thinks you look scary.’ Uh, ok sure, it’s not like I have anything better to do while I wait. “Hey you!” He looks at me in confusion.
“And what in Equestria are you supposed to be?”
“OH, I’m a human but that is not important, I just want to know if you think I look scary.”
“Why would I think you look scary? Except for the fact that you are not a pony, you don’t really look threatening.” I nod in acknowledgement.
“I see that’s good because I was starting to think everypony was afraid of me.”
“I could see that happening, who are you anyway?”
“You can just call me Dave, what about you?” He lets a smile get on his face.
“First, that is a ridiculous name in my opinion. And secondly my name is Grey Cloud, I’m nopony special really. Well I need to be going again; it was nice meeting you Dave.”
“Nice to meet you too Grey.” He seems nice enough. ‘At least, he’s not a racist.’ That is always a plus. ‘Unless it’s a minus.’ Ok?
“Dave, who was that?” Dash? I did not notice her going out from the restaurant.
“Just a random pony I asked if he thought I looked scary, he didn’t which was cool. Good to know that not everypony are total jerks.”
“That’s ponies for you.” We both let out a slight chuckle.
I take a bite from the burger, what is this taste? ‘Jam?’ Probably. “What is this taste? It tastes good.”
“Oh, it’s just any regular jam burger.” That is a weird burger. “They are known to be ridiculously good.” Sounds legit. ‘I think it was funny how I was right.’ You just had a lucky guess. ‘Maybe so.’
We finish eating on the street, really stupid looking I know, but whatever. “Let’s see, the time is now 5pm, so two hours left, should we go to the stadium and check on tickets?”
“Sound alright. Just follow me, I will lead the way!” … Was that? ‘I think it was but she does not know it.’ Yeah, I thought so as well.
We arrive at a really large stadium that is really huge. We go to the ticket guy. “You got any tickets for us?”
“Sorry, we have no normal tickets left only VIP-tickets.” He leans back into his chair.
I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, but how much is a VIP-ticket?” He leans towards me in the window.
“You really think you can afford it? You don’t exactly look plentiful.”
“Just tell me how much for a VIP-ticket.”
“Ok then, its 1500 bits a piece, you don’t have that amount of money, now do you?” I put a sly grin on my face.
“But I do in fact have that amount of money.” I take out 3000 bits from my pocket and put them on the counter. His eyes go wide.
“Dave, you don’t have to pay that much, we don’t need it really.”
“Oh, but it’s no problem at all, I want to do this.”
“FINE…”
“Oh ok… Sure, here you have your tickets then, you can go and take your seats now, VIP-spots unlock two hours earlier.” I take the tickets and we walk toward the VIP-section that is shown by the big sign that say ‘VIP-ROOM THIS WAY’ which made it really easy to find the way.
We arrive at the VIP-ROOM and I must say this is simply amazing, free snack, free drinks and a really, really great view of the stadium. “Dave, this place is amazing, though I still think it was too expensive.”
“Dash, don’t worry, consider it a gift to my beautiful marefriend.” She blushes and then walks over to the snack table. I walk over there with her, and seriously what is up with these names? Coca ‘Pony’ Cola, WHAT THE FREKING FUCK IS THIS!? ‘Pony puns, nothing else.’ I know, but it’s still annoying. I take one of the cups and take a sip; yup this is so totally Coca Cola, only a tad bit different. ‘This world is just a bad rip-off.’ Nah I don’t think so because there are some ponies that can fly without help which humans can’t, except for me that is. ‘Well, I would hardly call you human anymore, probably something like “THE FLYING PRIMATE” or something similar.’ Ha-ha, that name sounds funny so we will go with that. ‘SUCCESS!’ Congrats!
And announcer starts talking in some kind of speaker. “Fillies and gentlecolts, it has come to our attention that a fan of the Wonderbolts has sent in a song we would like all of our VIP-guests to vote if they think it’s acceptable to use in the show. We will start the song momentarily, so just sit back and listen. After the song is done you will be given card to vote on.” Ok, this sounds promising.
“I wonder what that song could be.”
“Sounds interesting though, don’t you think Dave?”
The speaker turns on again. “I am DJ Alexius and this is my song.” …SERIOUSLY!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ALEX!? ‘That is probably the worst name for a DJ I have ever heard.’ No one would expect it to be him since his name is not Alex here…
Weekend at the Wonderbolts by MBAlpha starts playing.
Of course he had to choose THAT song… ‘I’ve heard better.’ Not Wonderbolts related.
The song ends.
“Was my voice used in that song?” I don’t know why he didn’t edit ANYTHING of that song. ‘How the fuck would I know? Idiot.’ Oh shut up.
“I think it was. What is even worse is that I am 100% sure that it was Nova who sent in that…” She looks at me in disbelief.
“And how do you know that?”
“Firstly the DJ name was Alexsius, sounds a bit suspicious considering that his REAL name is Alex. And secondly, he showed me that song before, that’s how I know it’s him.” And that song does not exist in Equestria, but she can’t know that.
“Uh huh. I guess that would make sense.”
“What surprises me the most is how he got it here in the first place?”
“Considering he is a unicorn, maybe he used a psyche disc.” How come I never hear of this stuff?
“What is a psyche disc?” I must know this.
“It was one of the things I actually listen to Twilight when she told me about it.” Color me surprised. “It’s something a unicorn can use to send something through this disc, and the disc contains your voice, or something like that.” And a random metallic disc floats into the room. “Like that one. Try and open it.”
I walk towards the psyche disc. “And how am I supposed to use this?”
“I think you just click the big button.” That makes sense. I click it and a voice comes from it.
“Dave, I know that you are listening to this, and I hope you heard the song. I just sent this to try this stuff out, so if you hear this then please report to me when you can.” …How did he know I was here? ‘…Pure’ Who? ‘Absolutely nopony.’ Ok?
“That was Nova? How did he even know you were here? That makes no sense.”
“Dash, I have no clue either but maybe he got a lucky guess or something.”
“Sounds legit.”
And then a stallion appears at the door. “Your voting papers sir.” We walk up to him and take the notes. Very simple note actually, everything it says is: Is this song acceptable? And two options which are: Yes and No. I cross the yes option and give it to him. And Dash also gives her note to the stallion. “Thank you for your time.” And he walks outside again and closes the door.
“What did you write Dave?”
“Well considering its Nova I had to take the yes option.”
“Yeah I pick yes as well because it had a tint of me in there somehow, which made it 20% cooler.” I hope she doesn’t overuse that catchphrase.
“Sounds good to me.” I look at the clock and see that it’s already 6:30pm, wow time has gone by pretty fast. “Time has gone by really fast, don’t you think?” She looks at the clock and then at me.
“Yeah, that was a fast one and a half hour.” Let’s look out the window, wow pegasi are already gathering inside the stadium.
“How many ponies can this stadium hold?”
“I think it would be something around one hundred thousand. Why are you asking?”
“I was just curious, is all.” She simply nods and takes a sip from her drink. ‘Very sexily might I ass.’ You just had to say that didn’t you? And why did you have to make such a BAD pun at the same time? ‘Because I am just that awesome.’ I don’t believe you.
The speaker turns on again. “We have gathered all the votes and 20 ponies are for the song while only one pony is against it. This means that we will play this song at the event and I am sure the fan that sent it in will be very happy about this. Only 20 minutes left until the show, so it’s time to get ready.”
“I will be sure to tell Nova about this, I am sure he will be a happy pony when he hears it.”
“I think so too. Now shall we take our seats?”
“Sounds good to me.” We walk over to the chairs overlooking the arena and sit down. This is comfortable in a very weird way. I guess it’s because it’s designed for ponies but whatever.
“This chair is so comfortable I could almost take a nap in it.”
“Don’t you dare sleep when you have these seats, and besides clouds are a lot more comfortable.”
“That’s true but they are still very comfortable.”
“I have no argument against that.” ‘But I do!’ Really what would that be? ‘My throne is much more comfortable.’ …The iron throne? ‘DUDE! Bad reference, GAME OF THRONES SUCKS!’ I AM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU FOR SAYING THAT! ‘Just try and we will see what happens.’ I look at the clock again, ok five minutes left. ‘Time sure does fly by fast.’ You don’t say?
I am a huge jerk and will not tell you about the show in any way… ‘Except the gay way.’ ESPECIALLY NOT THAT WAY! ‘Aww, you’re no fun.’ Oh shut up. “That was freaking amazing.”
“Well, they are the Wonderbolts, but I never expected Spitfire to pull off a move like that.” That was sick.
“Yeah, that was pretty amazing. But I bet you could do better than her.”
“Thanks Dave, you are a nice guy.”
“Then how about we fly back to Ponyville now?” ‘Can I take over again?’ Nah, I don’t feel like it. ‘You make me a sad panda.’ NOOOOOOOO!!! Don’t give me that image of a sad panda, that makes me sad. ‘MY PLAN WORKS, TAADAA!’ Why the fuck did you say taadaa? ‘For random effects.’ You mean like the pause for dramatic effect? ‘Pretty much.’ Oh okay.
We fly and land a little bit outside Ponyville. “Dash, I need to go ask Twilight about something, so I will see you later.”
“Sure thing Dave.” ‘Little do Dave know that she will actually follow him.’ What? ‘Nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all.’ Flanders? What are you doing here? ‘Being stupid and sexy.’ Can you please just stop with these references? ‘That is quite impossible my good Dave.’ Why British? ‘Because it sounds funny…’ I can go with that.
I arrive at Twilight’s library and without knocking I go inside. “Twilight, are you home? I need to…” Inside the library I can see Celestia and Twilight talking and turn around all looks at me. ‘Please say *fuck*. Please say *fuck*. Please say *fuck*.’ “…Fuck” ‘YES!’
"It seems like shit, (puts on glasses) just got real. YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"