//------------------------------// // Chapter twelve- Conclusion Confusion // Story: The Canterlot Caper // by Silvermyr //------------------------------// Princess Twilight Sparkle I would very much like it if you could join me and my brother for dinner at eight o’clock tonight at Filthy Rich’s mansion. My friends and I all agree that you deserve a little something for all your hard work, and what could be better than a sneak peek at our next coup? I guarantee that you will find it interesting. I hope you will come tonight. Sweetie Drops and Rarity are welcome too, naturally. Flam, Consult of Barnyard Bargains, Salespony Nonpareil and skilled equilibrist. Twilight read through the shot letter again and felt the headache returning. Two weeks had passed since the catastrophic trial, and much to everypony’s annoyance The Circus had decided to make Ponyville their new headquarters. Flim and Flam both worked for Filthy Rich now, Suri Polomare was officially hired as Spoiled Rich’s personal seamstress, and Trixie was putting on small shows outside Town Hall. The colts and fillies loved her, and even Twilight had to admit that she was better now, relying on classical sleight-of-hoof and street magic, spruced up with the occasional illusion. Twilight was certain that none of The Circus actually worked, but it let them send in perfect reports on their behavior to Mayor Mare. She was not to happy with seeing especially Trixie back in Ponyville, but even she could not find anything to complain about when she sent the reports to Canterlot. Thus diminished their chances of capturing The Circus even more; the reports clearly stated that they were nothing but normal ponies. And now she had received a letter from Flim and Flam to dinner. Twilight was not sure what to make of it, but she would probably go. There was a slim possibility that she might learn something useful, and if nothing else she could at least eat up some of Filthy’s money, which felt satisfactory. Twilight shook her head, partly to get rid of the headache and partly to snap out of her ruminations. She should ask Rarity. With her new plan in mind, she levitated the letter over to a garbage can. ”Spike!” she called. ”I’m going to see Rarity! Take care of the castle in the meantime, okay?” ”Wait, I’ll come with you,” The young dragon called from his own room. Twilight could easily pick up on the hopefulness in his voice. ”Not today, sorry!” Twilight called back. She had not told anypony about her recent adventure yet. Frankly, she didn’t want to think about it anymore. She pretended not to hear the grumbling sounds of a disgruntled dragon as she left the castle. Just before she closed the door, she might have heard a word that was either ”dictionary” or ”dictator”. She decided to go with the former. Ponyville was beautiful as ever. The sun was shining, the grass was green and ponies were moseying slowly along the streets. Nopony seemed to be in a particular hurry. She spotted Carrot Top coming towards her with a wagon of carrots behind. Twilight nodded politely as they passed. Then she spotted one of the last ponies she wanted to see, in one of the worst companies. Flim was sitting by a table outside The Hayburger restaurant with a half eaten sandwich and some juice, and across the table sat Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Flim had three overturned cups in front of him. Her bitterness awoken, Twilight edged closer and saw Flim lift the middle cup to reveal a bit. He then placed the cup over it again and started to move the cups around with mesmerizing movements. The three foals managed to keep track of the cup with the bit for a few moments, before they all seemed lost. Twilight’s cheeks heated up when she saw Flim hide one of the cups behind his back somehow and then place a new one on the table, all before she had understood how it had happened. ”That one,” Sweetie Belle said and pointed to the leftmost cup. ”Too bad,” Flim said apologetically as he lifted the cup. There was nothing under it. ”I think it’s the one behind your back,” Twilight said venomously. ”Too bad,” Flim said again and lifted the cup behind his back with his magic. There was nothing under that one either. ”This is the one,” he lifted the middle cup, and the bit was under it. ”Cool!” Scootaloo buzzed excitedly with her tiny wings. ”Will you teach us that? It was awesome!” ”Perhaps another day, little filly,” Flim said politely with a pearl white smile. ”I have somewhere I need to be. Thanks for the company though. Oh, and congrats on your cutie mark, Apple Bloom.” More confused than angry, Twilight moved along, pondering how Flim had moved the cup with the bit like that. Did he cheat somehow? Yes, of course he must have, but how in Celestia’s name did he do it? Where did he even get the fourth cup from? He only wore his vest, so there were no sleeves to hide it in. Did he levitate it up from under the table? But she had not seen him use magic… ”Twilight, look out!” Twilight looked up and found herself less than a hooflength from Rarity’s from door. She instinctively took a few trotts back and looked to where the warning had come from. Rarity looked back at her with some vegetables showing from her white saddlebags. ”Hey Rarity,” Twilight said with a sullen voice. ”I wanted to ask you about something. I got a letter…” ”Hmm?” Rarity’s ears peaked up and she got something serious in her eyes. ”Make yourself at home,” she said curtly. ”I will find Bon-Bon.” ***** ”Welcome,” Flam said with as mile and his slick salespony voice. ”I’m so happy you could come, everypony.” Twilight, Rarity and Bon-Bon all hit him with the most powerful glares they could muster. Somehow, he survived and even managed a small, very nervous laugh. ”Now, now, I don’t think we want to start that way, do we?” Flim said from a doorway. He trotted up to his brother. ”Please follow me. We have prepared some of the most delectable food in Equestria, just for you.” Without waiting for an answer, Flim and Flam both turned around and went into the room Flim had come from. Twilight followed gingerly. She could still not be sure there was no ambush planned. She came into Filthy’s dining room and stopped with wide eyes. There was a long table with five chairs around, and on it there was some of the most fancy looking food Twilight had ever seen. At least ten different salads with everything from lettuce to tomato and cheese in them. Grilled aubergines were piled on one large silver platter, stuffed pepper on another and some sort of mushroom she didn’t know the name of laid on a third plate. There was even a replica of the Neighffel tower, built from asparagus. Beside it stood something Twilight had never expected to see, much less taste. She had heard about them from Princess Celestia, who had eaten them in Saddle Arabia, but even the Saddle Arabians didn’t grow them. They came from a land even further away, a land not even Celestia had seen. Yet there was no mistaking the strange, scaled fruits with thick-leafed crowns. They were Pineapples. ”Don’t just stand there,” Flim said proudly. ”It’s rude to begin before the guests, and I’m starving. Please, help yourselves.” Twilight had forgotten Flim and Flam for a moment, overwhelmed by the smell and look of the food. His voice brought her back to reality and the matter at hoof. She put on a scowl and trotted up to one of the chairs. Her friends followed suit, together with the twins. The ponies sat down around the table. ”How did you get this?” Twilight asked and levitated up one of the Pineapples. ”Not even Celestia can get these easily.” ”We have contacts…” Flim began. ”…and we have a lot of cash,” Flam finished. ”Thing with wealth is that it’s useless if you don’t have the freedom to do whatever you like with it. Wealth with responsibility is not really wealth in my opinion.” ”So, in a way, we are richer than Celestia,” Flim concluded. ”For we can probably get anything in Equestria and beyond.” ”Because you really deserve it,” Bon-Bon said sarcastically. ”That we do,” Flam agreed, ignoring Bon-Bon’s tone. ”Can somepony please begin?” Rarity’s horn lit up and one of the mushrooms and a filled pepper came floating. She inspected both courses thoroughly, trying to find something to criticize. Alas, she found nothing. ”Well, I suppose it does look…” she was on the verge of saying ’divine’, but stopped herself in the last moment ”…adequate.” Flim and Flam both helped themselves to a healthy selection and began to eat with great appetite, thus effectively any dodging questions. Twilight and Bon-Bon glanced to each other before they tried some of the food as well. Twilight was forced to admit that everything was stupendous; even better than what she had eaten at the Grand Galloping Gala. The peppers were fried to such perfect degree they all but melted in her mouth to reveal the perfect, silken texture of mozzarella and olives in them. She could not help but to smile at the wonderful taste that enveloped her tongue. It was a strange dinner. The five ponies loved the food but hated each other. While the guests ate, they also took ample time to glare at their hosts, who pretended not to see. Throughout the meal everypony sat silent. Save for the occasional scraping with a chair, the room was silent as the grave and with a similar mood. So it went on until Twilight and her friends spent more time glaring than eating. Flam broke the silence. ”Perhaps we shall have deserts in the gazebo?” ”Splendid idea, brother of mine,” Flim said, evidently relived to banish the suffocating silence. ”Shall we?” ”Here is fine,” Bon-Bon said curtly. ”What do you want?” Flam sighed. ”Well, since you are asking so nicely. We just thought you might want to know some details about our latest escapade, so ask away.” ”Any why, pray tell, would you tell us?” Rarity asked with a guarded tone. ”Because we want you,” Flam nodded to Twilight, ”to know…” ”…and because I like to gloat,” Flim added, earning him another death-glare from the three guests. ”Very well,” Bon-Bon said cooly. ”What will happen to the regalia? Who hired you to steal it?” ”I’m afraid I can’t answer the second question,” Flam said. ”But the regalia will return soon. We’ll keep Celestia on the rack for another few days or something, and then it will be ’found’ by the train crash site. We really can’t do much with it, can we? And the loss of the regalia have already accomplished what our client wanted.” ”Who are you two?” Flim and Flam looked at Twilight. She looked back with a thoughtful expression. ”I thought you were con artists, but you are criminals, engineers, balance artists, accountants and salesponies too. How and why? Just… who are you two?” ”Just the usual run-of-the-mill ponies,” Flim said while holding out his hoof and studying it with a confident look. ”The grass grows, the birds sing, we makes lives miserable. Simple as that.” ”Flim and I grew up on an apple farm in outside Manehattan,” Flam began stilly. ”Nothing much happened there, until Flim and I were about five years old. A… tragic accident, we can say, left us as orphans.” Twilight felt a twinge of sadness for the brothers despite all they had done. She could never imagine loosing her mom and dad. Flim had a grim look in his eyes as he spoke, but his voice was as jokey and casual as usual. ”Two colts couldn’t run an apple orchard, obviously, so we salvaged a couple of things and left the orchard. Key words: a couple.” Flam continued. ”Most other colts would not have made it, and neither would we if not for each other. We had to do what we could to survive. There is no mercy on the streets, and unless you learn that, you go under. Well, Flim and I did learn. If we were hungry and had no food, we stole some. If the night was cold, we snatched a scarf or something from a passerby.” ”This was the time for our greatest heist,” Flim said with dreamy eyes. ”I remember it like yesterday. The foggy morning, the crisp air and the merchant, of course. He was a large, red and brown earth pony. I pretended to look at his apples, and when his back was turned, I snatched some!” Flim looked out into space with a reminiscent grin. ”The adrenaline in my body, the angry screams behind me, my hooves beating on the cold ground… It can’t be put into words, it must be experienced… Ah, the thrill of the crime…” Flim looked like he just woke up. ”Heh, sorry… anyway, my brother had made a plan, and told me where to run, so I did just that. I got into an alleyway and hid. The merchant came in behind me, but then Flam stepped out behind him. Highly confused, he started following Flam instead while I made my way to another alley. Flam hid and I stepped out, and we repeated until the merchant got tired. ”So that’s how you seemed to pull of impossible jumps or move at lightning speed…” Bon-Bon nodded. ”You switched places, didn’t you?” Flim and Flam both smiled. ”The classics never get old,” Flam confirmed. ”We are still similar enough to fool anypony, as long as they can’t catch a good look on us. In fact, destiny seems to agree, for that heist did not only net us a breakfast, but also two cutie marks, symbolizing our skill at working together, and inspire other ponies to do the same.” ”Never wondered how we can tie ponies like Blueblood, Trixie and Suri together?” Flam asked. ”Three strong-willed ponies, none who likes to follow orders? I think that’s our special talent. We make ponies work together.” ”But how did you learn everything else?” Rarity asked curiously. ”Just like Twilight said, I too thought you were mere con-stallions. Yet some of the things you did would make professional acrobats jealous. How?” ”Well you see,” Flam continued. ”We began as con artists, for that’s one way to live off the streets, but after repeated misadventures we got lucky.” ”A certain Maximus Limelight caught us in a game of sleight-of-hoof, and he was impressed. He took Flam and me under his wings. Quite literarily, actually, for he was a pegasus,” Flim continued. ”He was a circus manager you see. He let Flam and me train to become real circus artists. I trained with line dancing and rope tricks, while Flam worked with line dancing and choreography. From dawn until dusk we trained to become the best.” ”In time, Flim and I broadened our fields and began to study pretty much everything we could get our hooves on. Circus is all about being versatile. The best artists shall pretty much be onepony shows, and that was our ambition too. We studied rhetorics…” ”…cooking…” ”…mechanics…” ”…magic…” ”…dancing…” ”…singing…” ”…etiquette…” ”…engineering…” ”…and a lot more,” Flim and Flam finished together. ”We studied everything we could from dawn till dusk, all days, every week. We had seen just how harsh life was for those with nothing, and vowed never to be back there; never to be poor again. When we had grown into stallions, we felt confident enough to leave the circus and make it on our own. We tried our luck as… cider makers…” ”I guess you know how that turned out,” Flam shot a dark look at Twilight. ”After the cider fiasco, we went back to our roots as con artists, before you ruined us again.” ”That’s when I had enough,” Flim said decisively. ”It was time to use each and every skill we had learnt. And since honest work didn’t exactly seem to be our strong suit, we decided to take… alternative measures, as it were.” ”So we began as small-time ne’er-do-wells while keeping our eyes peeled for potential recruits. Filthy Rich was the first.” Flam said and rose from his chair. Flim looked at Twilight with a wry smile. ”And now, after the most Flim-Flamboyant coup in recorded history, it’s time to move on to the next escapade.” Twilight stiffened in her seat. This was why she was here, after all. Would they actually tell her what their next coup would be? Were they really that stupid? Or did they have an ulterior motive? But what motive would gain from telling her? ”You see,” Flam said with a sigh, ”since we just lost the Illusionist, who kept us hidden, we now have to take care of something…” He went around the table slowly, until he stood just beside Twilight. ”Bet you wonder what, don’t you, Sparkle?” Flim asked menacingly. ”Well, allow me to explain. My brother here has come up with a pony to replace Blueblood. But this time we will not rely on bribes and influence, but only influence.” Flim looked with unveiled interest at Twilight. ”Your influence, that is.” ”So why not just make this easy?” Flam asked and extended a hoof. ”Why won’t you join us?” Silence fell. Twilight felt four pairs of eyes drill into her. ”Never,” she said silently. ”I will NEVER AID YOU!” She hit Flam’s hoof away. ”Oh, well,” Flam sighed as he rubbed the hoof. ”If there is one thing I have learnt, it’s that everypony has a price.” ”Not me,” Twilight said with a certain voice. ”There is nothing that would make me give in to you.” ”Well, well, you don’t have to believe us now…” Flam said nonchalantly and made his way back to his brother. ”… but we will get you something so valuable, so legendary, that you simply can’t resist.” Flam’s smile was certain. ”You will think that it is worth looking between your hooves for our crimes, just to get your own share of the spoils.” As on a secret signal, the large doors behind Twilight opened. The rest of The Circus trotted in. Ditzy was dressed in Celestia’s regalia, though the crown sat askew on her head. Trixie held a silver tray with seven glasses on it in her magic. ”Before you leave, Bon-Bon, wake up the spies you brought,” Filthy Rich said with a bored voice. He held his trusty crossbow in the mouth. ”I want them off my property in one hour, or I’ll fine them all for trespassing.” ”Well then, my friends,” Flam said to the stunned guests when his accomplices had made their way over to him, ”Now begins the next coup… umm…” ”Come on, brother,” Flim said with a pleading voice ”you can do this.” ”Do you have any idea how hard these alliterations are to come up with?” Flam asked with a somewhat annoyed voice. ”No,” Flim said shortly. ”You were always the better songwriter.” ”Hey! I got one!” Flam exclaimed. ”Now, my friends, begins the next coup…” The seven ponies each took a glass and raised it towards Twilight. ”…Princess Persuasion!” The Circus clinked their glasses together. Ditzy did so a little too eagerly; her’s, Trixie’s and Topsy’s glasses all broke and cider splashed over everypony. Ditzy reflexively fluttered backward and dropped the large crown on Trixie’s hoof. The azure mare whimpered. ”Heh… oops…” Ditzy said sheepishly with a blush spreading over her cheeks. ***** ”You have done well, Lord Fancypants. The first trotts have been taken.” ”Thank you, my lady,” Fancypants bowed down. ”I live to serve your will.” ”You have, my dearest friend. And mark my words, that which we believe in will be realized.” Fancypants bowed down again and listened. ”The ponies who executed the theft, will you keep track of them? I believe they will become very helpful to our course…” ”Thy will be done.”