Angel, known to many as Rocket Rabbit, and Bloomberg, a sentient arboroform, originating from Planet X, pulled into the hub in a spaceship that looked like it was barely worth the duct tape holding it together.
The strange looking pair had met on Earth when Angel hid in an apple orchard after escaping a lab. The tree he had decided to live under turned out to be Bloomberg. Bloomberg spent some time in Equestria, rooted in a dormant state. He was eventually discovered by Angel and the two formed a friendship. Usually Bloomberg was just the muscle while Angel did the talking, which was handy because Bloomberg was only capable of saying three words anyway.
Angel was being experimented on to resist some plague of rabbit sterility on Earth before he and his new partner were taken to the planet known as Halfworld where he received cybernetic enhancements and augmentations, while Bloomberg was kept under study. This included a major increase in intelligence. Believe it or not but Angel has one of the finest tactical minds in the galaxy. It wasn't until the pair escaped Halfworld that he discovered his one true love. Unfeasibly large artillery. Angel has since discovered that whatever problem a cunning plan can't solve, the right gun would.
The Hub, a large space station where it is known fact that anything is for sale. Tech, cargo, even your last breath if you talk to the right black market oxygen dealer. The Hub is divided into two sections; Uptown, where the rich folk live with increased security, a necessary precaution when compared to Downtown, the lawless marketplace where anything goes and gangs rule.
"Well, Bloomberg, ol' buddy, ol' tree. We're down to our last few units," Angel said as they disembarked and entered the marketplace. "It took almost all our cash to fuel this stolen crate all the way here."
"I am Bloomberg!" Responded Bloomberg, giving Angel a stern glance.
"Did I say "stolen"? I meant 'liberally borrowed'," Angel corrected as the parking meter robot flew over to him holding the receptacle for their money.
"Fifty units," the machine requested.
"How much?!" Angel shouted as he reluctantly paid up. "My friend we need a big score, fast! Because we are officially broke. It looks like we're gonna have to go... Downtown," Angel visibly shuddered at the prospect. There was a general rule of thumb on the Hub. Never go Downtown. Ever.
"I am Bloomberg," Bloomberg said, concerned for his friends well being.
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"I can't believe there isn't a single job going!" Angel cried out after an entire afternoon of frustrated and increasingly desperate searching. "Be honest with me, Bloomberg. It's because I'm so adorable isn't it?" Angel asked, deadly serious.
"I am Bloomberg," Bloomberg said, attempting to reassure his adorable friend.
A figure, watching the pair from the shadows beckoned them over with one of his bright green tentacles. "Hey! Hey, little buddy." He said in a coarse voice. "I couldn't help overhearing you're a little short, he he..."
"Buzz off, funny man," said Angel as he turned away, ready to put a hole through the next joker that laughed at him.
"My name is Sqqd'Li. You interested in a pay day?" Sqqd'Li asked, catching Angel's attention.
Angel stopped and turned around. "What did you have in mind, bud?"
"Imports and exports, no questions. Kind of wanted to avoid attention from local security and the Nova corps," Sqqd'Li explained.
"This happens to be a field of business we have some experience in. Let us discuss this further," Angel said, being careful not to seem too eager.
"My boss, his name is Scraggot. Local businessman. He has a consignment he wants imported. There's a thousand units in it for you," Sqqd'Li told the pair.
"Hmm, that may just cover my hourly rate," Angel said, barely containing his excitement. "Please go on, Mr. Sqqd'Li."
"Very well. The item is currently being held in a customs station in the Uptown district of the Hub," Sqqd'Li informed, gesturing in it's general direction.
"Uptown? That's mucho security," Angel said, scratching his chin, pretending to rethink the offer.
"Precisely, armed guards, laser grid fields, you name it. Not to mention, entry to Uptown is controlled by credit check. Basically if you're not rich enough, you can't get in." Sqqd'Li said before pulling out a device that projected a holographic diagram of the Hub's blueprints. "So this is this the only way in. The shaft that runs all the way between Downtown and Uptown."
"I get the picture. We'll see you later, with your 'imports'," Angel said as he and Groot started walking away.
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Finding the vent was relatively simple but actually getting inside was slightly difficult, the door was locked and they had no way of knowing who had the key. It was at this point Bloomberg remembered that he was a giant tree and simply kicked the door in.
Before they knew it, they were climbing the vent and were on their way Uptown. They eventually found the exit after a few close calls with some loose cables. "Okay, according to Sqqd'Li this is the right level for the customs station," Angel said, noticing a case that matched the description Sqqd'Li had given them, including the heavily armed security. "Okay buddy, I see our score, but the vents too small for you. So get ready to reach in when I tell you," Angel said as he pulled a grenade out of his pocket.
Angel threw the grenade and watched as it exploded into a green gas that quickly filled the room. All of the guards were unconscious before they even knew what hit them. Angel jumped down from the vent and secured the case. "Got it! Reach in and take it from me!"
"Hey! You!" Said one of three guards running into the room to see what the commotion was, they pointed their guns at Angel and begun firing.
"Oops," Angel muttered before jumping around to dodge the laser bullets. "Bloomberg, get the item outta here while I keep these bozos occupied!" Angel said pulling out a small gun that unfolded and expanded into a much larger gun and returned fire.
"I am Bloomberg!" Bloomberg shouted as he grabbed the case and retreated down the vent, reluctant to leave his friend in danger but wary of the importance of being paid.
Angel was taking cover behind some boxes when he noticed one labeled Antimatter turbo thruster. "Oh, you legally impounded beauty!" He said opening the crate and removing the engine part.
"You behind the boxes! Come out now with your hands raised or--" One of the guards started but was cut off as Angel rocketed past on his small rocket, bowling all of the guards over.
"YEEEEE-HAH!" Angel shouted, but realized he had nowhere to run. "Only one way out," He said as he put on his oxygen helmet and turned his gun towards the window. He suddenly blasted a hole out into open space.
"This is bad! I've got air, but no suit. I'm already freezing. Come on... Cybernetically augmented body... Don't fail me now... d-don't f-fail me..." Angel's voice trailed off as his vision faded.
A wooden hand reached out and grabbed Angel's unconscious body and pulled back him into the Hub through one of the many airlocks on the station. "I am Bloomberg." Said Bloomberg, happy when the rabbit started breathing more regularly and opened his eyes.
"Thanks buddy, now let's go and collect on our services rendered," Angel said as he stood up.
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"You boys pulled it off! Drinks all round!" Sqqd'Li shouted happily. They had met up at a bar to celebrate as was the custom in Downtown or anywhere with a bar really. "Mr. Scraggot will be delighted," he said happily.
"Yeah, that's great. Cough up the units Sqqd'Li," Angel said with an outstretched paw.
"First I have to check the merchandise," Sqqd'Li informed the duo.
"Just out of curiosity. What was it that Scraggot was so desperate for anyway?" Angel asked as Sqqd'Li opened the case revealing five large snail-like creatures. "Huh? A cargo of live scalluscs?" Angel asked confused.
"Indeed! Mr. Scraggot is having his bathroom remodelled and the shell on these babies will make the perfect tiling to match the colour scheme," Sqqd'Li said removing one of them from the case.
The scallusc locked eyes with Angel and suddenly shouted "Please! We have money! We'll double whatever they're paying you! Just please get my family out of here!"
Angel and Bloomberg looked conflicted for a moment. "You've got a deal!" Shouted Angel, grabbing the scallusc as Bloomberg punched Sqqd'Li's lights out.
"I am Bloomberg," Said Bloomberg, eager to leave as soon as feasibly possible.
"Yes, we're leaving. But first, we did, after all, deliver the case of scalluscs as asked and I think we're owed something for that," Angel said fishing through Sqqd'Li's pockets. He quickly found and pocketed the promised units. "Okay, now we just gotta get outta here without running into this Scraggot guy," he finished turning around and running into a huge, snarling, monster of an alien. Angel stared at the alien for a moment. "You Scraggot?" he asked, receiving only a glare and a snarl in return. "Right, Bloomberg make a hole."
"I am Bloomberg!" Bloomberg said as his fist flew into Scraggot's face knocking him across the room and relieving two of his men of their weapons. Bloomberg dropped the guns and Angel rolled forward, catching both of the extremely large guns in his paws before opening fire.
Seconds later guns were being fired off from every conceivable direction and aliens of all races were joining in on the violence."Y'know, I have a theory. We shouldn't have gone Downtown! Ever!" Angel cried before firing his weapons.
Bloomberg started brawling with anyone stupid enough to come within branch reach of him. "I AM BLOOMBERG!" He shouted, unafraid of the odds they faced, as it grabbed one unfortunate alien by the cranium and smashed him into the ground.
Scraggot stood up on the edge of the firefight, firing a laser pistol at Angel and Bloomberg. "So, Mr. Scraggot. I'm guessing you want your money back?" Rocket said dodging a shot by a hair.
"Actually, no. I've had a design re-think,” Scraggot's tentacled grip tightening on his gun as he fired again. "Now I'm seeing a bathroom panelled in wood from Planet X and a furry little bath mat!" he snarled angrily.
"Oh you are, are you?" Angel said snarling with anger as he spotted a Gatling gun in another combatants hands. "Bloomberg, hand me that BFG!" Angel requested.
Like an experienced caddy, Bloomberg plucked the weapon from the aliens grip and gave it to Angel. "I am Bloomberg." He said, worried, as always, when Angel got that look in his eye.
"Oh no," Scraggot whimpered.
"Oh yeah!" Angel cheered before letting loose with laser bullets in every direction, tearing through everything in sight. As the ammunition ran out, Angel let out a deep exhale. "Y'know, that really centres me. I am totally at peace right now."
"I am Bloomberg..." Bloomberg said, shocked at the carnage.
"They'll be fine. I think I had it set on stun," Angel said as he checked the gun's settings. "Yeah. They'll be fine."
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"This is docking control. You are fully fuelled and cleared for departure," a voice said through the ship's intercom.
"Thank you, control," Angel said as he pulled his ship away from the Hub. Bloomberg was tightly holding onto to the tank of scalluscs. "Okay, folks, we're about to quit this joint. Next stop, the scallusc homeworld... We'd prefer cash by the way."
"That won't be a problem," Said one of the scalluscs.
"I am Bloomberg," Bloomberg said, relaying his wisdom to any who may listen.
"Yeah, I also learned a lot from our visit to the Hub. One don't go to downtown, ever," Rocket hit the gas and sped away as quickly as their 'ship' would take them. "And two, if you do, never, ever go back there."
"I am Bloomberg," Bloomberg agreed, chuckling with jovial nonchalance.
"Couldn't have put it better myself, pal," Angel replied as a monitor on his right started beeping. "Whoa!" he shouted after checking a live feed of bounties in the system. "Ravagers are paying big for some guy alive. Forty thousand," Angel told his partner. "You wanna take this one after we get these guys home?" he asked, gesturing at the scalluscs.
"I am Bloomberg," Bloomberg replied, nodding in agreement.
Angel smiled at their good fortune. "Maybe today wasn't so bad after all. Worse has happened," Angel reasoned.
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In the center of a small city known as Tanam, there sat a large building used to house the Brotherhood of Badoon commanders and governors while they made their plans to pillage, pollute and plunder any and all neighboring planets.
Just outside the meeting room standing on a balcony, near the top of the impressive structure which overlooked the city were a pair of guards wondering how they managed to receive the honor of guarding their races greatest minds. But something was bothering them. The pair of guards had the strangest sensation that they were being watched.
"Did you hear that?" one guard asked, thinking he had heard the sound of flapping wings.
"Stop changing the subject," his companion complained "Okay, new scenario. You're staring down a Shi'ar berserker, with all the enhancements, you start to run in the other direction and you run right into Gilda the Destroyer. Who do you try and fight?" The guard asked.
"Aww, hell..." the first started.
"And suicide is not an option," the other clarified.
All of a sudden, with surprisingly little noise or struggle, a blur of white, brown and red landed on the Badoon closest to the door, crushing him dead. She unholstered a large knife and levelled her gaze at the remaining Badoon. "G-Gilda the Destroyer..." he stammered in fear.
"Is that your final answer?" Gilda said standing up straight. She stood roughly seven feet tall and was extremely muscular. The Badoon knew that the knife was just a courtesy, she could easily rip him in half with her bare hands. She was also covered from her crest to her paws in bright red tattoos.
"I-I... No?" the guard asked, shaking in his boots, hoping he would be the first to survive Gilda's wrath.
"That's a pity. The Shi'ar would probably be a little more painless, but I'll at least be quick," Gilda said twirling the knife in her talon. "Like so." Like lightning the knife flew from her grip and planted itself square between the Badoon's eyes.
Gilda then retrieved her knife from the corpse and with a loud crack kicked open the door to the meeting room. "Do you all know who I am?!" she shouted earning several looks of fear, rage and resignation on the old lizards faces and the fact that not one soul in the room said a word spoke volumes to Gilda. "Good, that'll save me some time," she said as she made her way to the centre of the room.
As Gilda passed an armed guard standing against the wall of the room he carefully and quietly took out his gun. No sooner had he cocked and aimed it, did Gilda have him by the wrist and immediately severed his arm clean at the elbow. Gilda then threw the guard against the wall and reared back her fist, punching him on the face and subsequently punching a hole through the wall behind him.
"I'm gonna make this real simple, before this gets too bloody. I need transport to Hala. Or however close I can get to Hala on one flight," She was still met with nothing but silence and grim looks. Gilda sighed and pulled what appeared to be a remote control out of her pocket and pressed a button on it. A massive explosion rang out through the city and every single face in the room except Gilda's looked out the window to see another spire collapsing in the distance earning frightened shouts from her captives.
"Oh dear gods!"
"She'll destroy the whole planet!"
"Just give her what she wants!"
Gilda silenced them with a glare. "I have another spire ready to explode! Guess what? It's this one. None of you will make it out of the building in time and I can just fly out the window and try my luck in the next city over. So, one last time, before I get really angry. I NEED TRANSPORT TO HALA!"
An older alien stood up on the far side of the room. "Very well. My name is Droom. I am a commander of the Brotherhood of the Badoon, I will take you to one of our ships. But the furthest you'll be able to go from here is Xandar." Said Droom, walking over to the exit.
"Xandar? The home world and base of operations for the Nova Corps?! Do you think I'm stupid or just naive?" Gilda said holding her knife to Droom's throat. At that moment the door opened and a ten foot tall hulking Badoon entered the room, ducking under the doorway.
"What took you so long, Drang!? I sounded the alarm ten minutes ago!" Droom shouted angrily.
The larger Badoon didn't say anything, he just tackled Gilda to the ground and picked her up by her head. Drang then grabbed the talon holding the control for the explosives and crushed it causing Gilda to squawk in pain. Drang bared his teeth and let out a loud hiss as he inched towards her neck.
"RAAAHHHHHH!" Gilda bellowed, immediately putting her beak through his eye causing him to shout out in pain. Drang threw Gilda through the wall and into the next room over. He quickly followed, preparing to attack in a feral rage. "RRAAARRR! Just go down!" Gilda shouted punching him in the face, clawing at his hide and even burying one of her knives four inches deep in his chest.
No matter what she threw at him the monster didn't even slow down. But Gilda was taking heavy damage, a blow to the chest, a fist in her face and a claw through her shoulder. After another blow to the head Gilda sluggishly regained her bearings and punched Drang in the eye that she had gouged out earlier and flew back into the meeting room and hobbled towards the outdoor balcony she had entered from.
Drang barreled into the room after her and tackled her at full speed, Gilda didn't resist and just let the both of them fly out through the window. Okay, defenestration. Good plan. Now to not fall to my death, Gilda thought to herself as Drang tightened his grip on her. She managed to get one arm loose and dug one of her talons right into his eye. "You either let go or I'm going to poke your brain!" Gilda shouted pulling her knife out of his chest where she had buried it earlier and drove that through his eye instead.
Drang howled in pain and eventually loosened his grip allowing Gilda to break free and fly back up to the meeting room as Drang fell the remaining fifty stories to his death. As she landed on the balcony and walked back into the meeting room, Gilda cricked her neck as she holstered her knife and looked around at the Badoon who had been too stunned to flee when the fight began.
"Now, did someone say something about transportation off this lizard nest?" Gilda walked over to Droom and picked him up by his throat. "And if you even think of suggesting Xandar or Lotiara, I'll snap your neck right now," she threatened in a low tone.
A bright beam blasted through the window nearly blinding Gilda, causing her to lose her grip on Droom. "This is Moondancer of the Nova Corps. Subject 1873946, Gilda the Destroyer, you are under arrest for twenty two confirmed counts of murder in this sector." The light was coming from an equine being wearing a black suit and a gold helmet with a star pattern, floating in the opening she'd made.
Gilda grabbed her knives and prepared for a fight. "We have the building surrounded. There is no way you are escaping! Come quietly," the Nova Corpspony ordered.
Gilda charged at the Nova but before she could make contact five more appeared and created a stasis field around her using a series of silver orbs. "We're going to give you a room without a view on the Kyln, Gilda," Said one of the Nova Corpsponies.
Why would I care whether or not my room had nice scenery? Gilda thought as they carried her away.