//------------------------------// // Chapter 21 // Story: Torn Between Two Worlds // by Alex Barkhorn //------------------------------// It was getting late when I got the call. The phone was ringing, and the caller ID said it was mom, for the third time that day. I shushed the girls, and answered the phone. "Hey, mom." I greeted happily. "Alex, honey?" She said with a hoarse voice, one that sounded like she had been crying. "Mom? Mom, what's wrong?" I asked, suddenly incredibly worried. "It's... it's your grandmother, Alex." She said quietly. My heart dropped into my stomach as I managed to stumble back into my seat. Grayson and Dana, who had dropped by not too long ago, looked at me worriedly, along with the rest of the girls. "What... what's wrong?" I asked after a quiet second. "Oh, she's sick, Alex. Very sick." She told me. "Ever since your grandfather passed... Well, it was only a matter of time." She said, sighing shakily. My grandfather had passed away just three, short years ago. It had been a really depressing time, passing on Christmas Eve. It had been a huge blow to our family. It was at his funeral that I had first seen my brother really cry. It broke my heart. I had decided that I was the one that needed to be strong. I kept my tears and sadness locked inside. I only cried once through that time. "What... what do you mean? With what?" I asked. "It's just... that time." Mom explained. "The doctor says she doesn't have much time. Probably... by the end of the night. We were eating, and she just... collapsed. I... Alex, do you want to come down?" She asked. I hesitated as I looked at the girls, who were watching me with confusion and worry etched in their faces. "... No. No, that's probably not a good idea for me right now." I replied in a whisper. "That's alright, Alex. I understand. I... I'm going to stay here a while though. Your uncle... Evan needs me right now. He's taking it the hardest." She told me. "That's alright." I replied in almost a drone-like tone. The information was still processing in my mind. “That’s alright.” I replied in monotone, as my mind replayed the conversation over and over in rapid succession, trying to process what exactly had just happened. "I love you, son." "You too, mom." "Goodbye." Click. I couldn't believe this. It...It couldn't be real, could it? I mean...Everything was going so smoothly. Well, more smoothly than it had been. The girls, they came here and had helped me break out of my slump - My sleep had improved and I just felt better with them around. Mom was out on a big job, ready to bring home the money to give the two of us a better life. Then suddenly... this. How the hell did this happen? My grandmother... Not my nana. Please, God, anyone but her. The woman took care of me when my mom couldn't afford to, she cooked for me, bathed me, she was my everything. She meant as much to me as my mother and brother did. I couldn't do this. I couldn't handle this. Why, God? "Alex, what happened?" Dana asked, standing up and approaching me. "... My grandma." I replied, shifting on the black recliner while struggling to keep my emotions in check. "... She's sick." "Oh, my gosh." Dana gasped, placing her hand on mine. "Sick? With what?" Twilight asked. I looked at her with hollow, lifeless eyes and mouth ajar as I searched for words. "I... dunno. She's just... sick." I croaked. "Is she gonna be alright?" Applejack asked. "Alex... Will she be okay?" Gray asked when I didn’t reply. I looked at him, and his emerald green eyes met mine. The lifeless look must have given the answer away. "... How long?" He asked quietly. "Tonight, they think." I said, before wiping tears from my eyes. "Tonight? You mean... Tonight? But tomorrow..." Dana began. I nodded, knowing where she was going with this. "Yep... Tomorrow's his birthday..." Gray said with a heavy sigh. I stood up and paced around. "No. No, she'll... she'll pull through. She always does. Medicine today will make it all fine." I said, trying to convince myself more than the others. They all watched me with pained expressions splayed across their faces. "Alex..." Rarity said quietly. I glanced over at them, and knew it was hopeless. "Alex, just... sit down. I'll grab you something to drink." Dana offered. I plopped myself down on the ground, ending up between Rainbow and Fluttershy. Pinkie, AJ, Twilight and Rarity looked at me with sympathetic expressions, all trying to give me the same strong smile. I wouldn't have any of it, though. I knew there was nothing to be happy about. My grandmother was dying, and that was that. "Here." Fluttershy said quietly, draping a blanket around my shoulders. I sniffled and accepted it while I continued to stare at the wall in front of me. "Alex, is there anything we can do?" Pinkie asked, but I shook my head in response. "No. Nothing." I said absently. I tried to ignore the girls' increasingly scared faces, and I felt it in the back of my head again. The remnants of my sanity, slipping from my grasp. It's like I was falling. Falling fast. Falling hard. And the bottom was nowhere in sight. All I knew is that when I hit it, it'd be fast. "Here, drink this." Dana said, handing me a can of soda. I popped it open, took a sip and sighed. "Alex, I...I dunno what to say." Rainbow said sadly. Again, I shrugged. "Hey, it's life. We all get our time someday." I said cynically. "Hey, man. That's no way to talk." Gray told me. "Whatever, man. It's true. You know that, and so do I." I retorted, taking a larger drink. Gray had no rebuttal, and as such, remained quiet. The next two hours was spent in relative silence, watching television. Then I received another call. I already knew who it was. I already knew what she had to say. I picked it up, pressed answer, and listened. My grandmother died that night, at 9:55 PM. "I'm so sorry, son." Mom said, though it was hard to understand due to her crying and sobbing she was going through. "It's alright, mom. It's just a part of life. Call me if you need anything. Love you. Bye." And with that, I hung up. "...Y'alright, Alex?" AJ asked me, standing up next to me. I shrugged my shoulders, shrugging off the hand she placed on my shoulder and walking away. She's gone. I set the empty soda can down on the table, next to the mail I had fetched earlier. She's gone. I shut my eyes. I refused to let that little voice in my head- SHE'S GONE. My face contorted in anger, and I roared, throwing my drink and everything on the table aside in anger. Everyone else in the room started and quickly stood up, all looking at me in fear. "Alex!" Dana began. "She's gone!" I cried out, knocking over chairs, intent on hurting something. To be honest, I don't know why I reacted like that. I wish I hadn't, to be honest. I kicked and screamed, punched the walls until my knuckles were bloodied and bruised, knocked over objects - none of which broke, thankfully. Everyone just watched in horror. Dana and Gray stood from where they were seated, while the six girls huddled together in fear as I rampaged around the room. Crying, sobbing, yelling, screaming. No coherent words left my mouth. Just shrieks of rage and sorrow. My energy was spent, being helped only a bit by the caffeine from the cola, and I dropped to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. I was still screaming occasionally when Gray and Dana finally approached, embracing me. I tried to fight them off, but I was too weak. I fell into their arms, and they laid me down, but I was still screaming strings of obscenities to the world and its God. I broke. I snapped. I was gone. Nothing could help. Nothing seemed real. I stared up at Dana and Gray, and saw the other six gather around as well. They all looked at me with such horribly terrified expressions, as if they had just witnessed something horrific. I shut my eyes to escape their gazes, clenching onto Gray's shirt. I needed something to hold on to. I needed someone. Anyone. Next thing I knew, I felt eight pairs of hands all embrace me. I had exhausted myself so much that I passed out right there. The Next Morning No pain could replace the pain I felt. Not in my heart, but in my head. I had a terrific headache, and it hurt just to open my eyes. My throat was dry, my eyes stung. How did I get in bed? Last thing I remembered was... Oh, right. I slowly eased myself out of bed, clenching my teeth to replace one pain with another. My door opened, and Twilight and the girls were on the other side, with Gray and Dana following behind them. "Alex? Are you feeling better?" Twilight asked. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." I replied, except, this time, it was in honesty. I hurt, yeah... But it wasn't something that was driving me over the edge. Last night... it was oddly exactly what I needed. I needed that breakdown to eliminate the rest of the tension in my head. I knew it wasn't completely gone, but it was postponed. I knew that much. "Really?" Rainbow asked dumbfoundedly, but was silenced when AJ nudged her, giving her a warning look. I ignored her though, and dug through my closet looking for a shirt. I found my black collared shirt and grabbed my jeans. Realizing I still wasn't alone, I looked at the others. "...You guys wanna come?" I asked. "Where?" Fluttershy asked. "To visit Nick's grave." I replied. "It was...It is his birthday today. He woulda been 24." I said with a sad smile. "My, he was that young...?" Rarity began. "I mean, yes, sure. We'd be honored. Girls, let's get ready." She said, retreating down the hall, the other five in tow. Gray and Dana entered the room, but they were my best friends, so I didn't mind changing in front of them. "Alex, man...You sure you're alright?" Dana asked. "Yeah, I'm fine. Honest." I replied, buckling my belt. "I just had a breakdown. Last night was a real blow to me. But... I've dealt with death before. I know that I just gotta keep my head up, and I'll be fine. That's what's kept me breathing the last three years, anyway." I explained, lacing my boots. "Would you guys care to join me?" I then asked. "Of course, man. We'll meet you outside." Gray said, leading Dana out of my room. I sighed and shook my head as I looked out the window. I found myself smiling, staring at the blossoming trees along with the other plant life. I had this strange sense of... something. The more I thought about it, the more sure I was of what it must be. Hope. ( Oh, seven hells. I'm so sorry for the delay in updates, everyone. You wouldn't believe how incredibly busy I've been now that senior year is ending =_= Big ups to Pissfer, who helped to edit this chapter, even though I was rather difficult :P Thanks to everyone for reading! And for all your support! And, hey, while you're at it, give my tumblr a quick looksie? :3 alexbarkhorn.tumblr.com I'd really appreciate a few more followers :D Thanks, everyone! Have a good night! )