A cave… Somehow Rarity had expected something more. The Awesome holing up in a cave just didn’t seem to fit her, she should have been in a cloud fortress but this… A quick survey of her surroundings just confirmed she was still standing in a green field, long grass gently blew in the wind, if it wasn’t for the dark cave sitting almost in the middle of it, this would have been a fabulous spot for a picnic.
Beside the cave entrance sat several boxes and a half made rectangular silver machine. Rarity recognized it as one of the miscellaneous machines that always seemed to be in the villain’s lairs, but this one was clearly unfinished. The boxes had some sort of foam spears and foam fingers with “THE AWESOME!!!” Written on them.
“Well, this is clearly where her lair is,” mumbled Rarity as she stepped to the mouth of the cave. She prepared herself and was about to enter when a noise from above caught her attention.
She hopped back as a single drop of liquid hit the ground where her currently messy mane had just been. She looked up and noticed a single small cloud hovering above the cave, with a rainbow hanging off the side of it.
A trap or- Rarity’s ruminations where interrupted by a loud snore coming from above. Ahh, well that makes sense. Her horn and the rainbow both began to glow a light blue as she wrapped her magic around the rainbow and pulled hard.
A blue pegasus burst through the clouds, propelled downward by a combination of Rarity’s magic and gravity.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” *ooof!* A light blue pegasus landed with a thud on the ground. Before she could get up Rarity rushed over and stood on her chest, pinning her to the ground.
“Wha… what gives, Rarity?” She blinked and struggled under Rarity’s weight. “What are you doing here? Get off me.”
Rarity pressed more of her weight on the blue pegasus. “Well, if it isn’t The Awesome.”
The Awesome blinked and looked confused for a moment before understanding dawned in her eyes. “Oh yeah… That.” She glared up. “C’mon Rarity, getoff me,” she paused and blinked again. “What happened to your mane?” She asked, just as a glob of green goo landed on the grass next to her head.
Rarity glared back at her and adjusted herself to apply a bit more weight. “I have had a rough day and I am in no mood for nonsense, so tell me your plan or whatever scheme you have going and I shall go easy on you.”
“Uhhhhgh, cmon ease up. I was just sleeping.”
Rarity leaned down and looked right into The Awesome’s eyes. “Then what are you doing with these boxes?”
“Twilight said that an awesome super villain needed the right ambulance for her lair.”
Rarity shook her head and lifted some of her weight from The Awesome, but kept her pinned. “The word you’re looking for is ambiance,” she narrowed her eyes, “but that still doesn’t tell me what you’re up to.”
The Awesome shrank back. “I uhh, just got here.”
Rarity raised her eyebrow. “You just got here and decided to take a nap?”
The Awesome smirked sheepishly. “Well, I tried putting together that machine that beeps, but it’s hard. So I decided to take a nap.”
“Then why even bother with the machine?”
“Twilight said that any proper super villain needed a beep machine or whatever, she also said that I needed weapons. Those spears looked so cool in the catalog, how was I supposed to know they were foam.” Sighed The Awesome.
Rarity stepped off of The Awesome’s chest, but she kept a spell ready, just in case. “You don’t seem particularly enthused with this super villain thing.”
The Awesome rolled over and stood on her hooves. “Not really, Twilight made it sound really fun, but…” She trailed off and wandered to the half-finished machine next to the cave. “It’s really boring and I don’t get what I’m supposed to do.”
"Then why did you decide to become The Awesome?”
“Yech,” The Awesome’s nose scrunched up in disgust. “You know, that name sounds a lot cooler when I say it. When anypony else says it. It just sounds; lame.”
A smile crept along Rarity’s lips. “Does that mean I can go back to calling you Rainbow Dash?”
“Yeah, I know I’m awesome, anypony else can see I’m awesome, I don’t need to call myself The Awesome.”
“Marvelous.” Then Rarity frowned. “I am going to ask you something very important and I insist that you answer honestly and quickly.” As she spoke she stepped right up to Rainbow Dash, their noses almost touching as Dash tried to back away from the suddenly very intense unicorn, but found herself pinned against the side of the cave mouth. Rarity narrowed her eyes as she spoke. “Do you have a shower in your cave?” Almost to accentuate her point a glob of green goo fell from her mane and plopped on the ground.
Rainbow Dash let out an uncomfortable chuckle as her eyes darted this way and that. “Uhhh huhh,” she stammered. “Sorry Rarity, I only got here last night, all I got are these boxes and that machine thing.”
Rarity hung her head and a thin spray of goo trickled off her mane. “Thank you anyway, Rainbow. Ugh, no matter how much I shake there is almost more of this horrible mess.”
Rainbow hopped back. “Well don’t get it on me, it looks gross.”
“Thank you for your sympathy,” said Rarity as she rolled her eyes. “Now do be a dear and follow me, Queen Celestia will be most interested in having a chat with you and I simply must find a shower.”
Rainbow Dash gulped, but followed after Rarity, hovering in the air as Rarity trotted along. “You don’t think she’ll be mad, do you?”
“I honestly couldn’t say, but considering that you gave yourself up. I don’t think she will be too cross with you. If anypony should be worried about what the Queen will say it should be the Applebucker.”
“The Applebucker… errr that’s Applejack right?”
Rarity nodded. “Indeed and let me tell you, she has caused no end of problems.”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Really? Applejack?”
“I am afraid so. She apparently has become infatuated with me, enough to become rather deranged.”
Rainbow let out a laugh and rolled over as she flew after Rarity. “C’mon Rarity, AJ is the most down to earth earthpony around. I mean, sure you’re hot, but this is AJ. She wouldn’t go nuts to impress somepony…” Rainbow stopped laughing when she noticed that Rarity wasn’t laughing with her. “right?”
“She started putting Applebloom in a cage.”
“What?” Rainbow stopped and hovered as she tried to wrap her mind around this revelation. She shook her head and sped forward to catch up with Rarity. “Why would she do that to her sister?”
“I’m afraid I’m not quite sure, from talking to Applebloom after…” Rarity scrunched up her nose as she contemplated her words before sighing. “Defeating The Ap- I mean Applejack. Apparently she would behave as the Applejack we all know and love, but as Applebloom got closer and closer to finishing up the lair-“
“Applebloom makes AJ’s lairs?”
Rarity nodded.
“Aww, I should have gotten her to do my cave.”
Rarity coughed. “Yes, well, be that as it may. When she would be finished creating the lair, Applejack would become unhinged and throw her in a cage and begin ranting and raving about Applebloom being a ‘leak’ or some other nonsense.”
“That still doesn’t sound like AJ.”
Rarity managed to shrug as she kept walking. “I know what you mean, darling, but I have had to rescue Applebloom several times from her sister. Why, this last time she had both Applebloom and P up in a cage and she was planning on dropping them into a grinder or some such nonsense.”
“Yo- you’re kidding? Why would she want to kill Applebloom and… Pinkie?”
“Yes, P is Pinkie.” Rarity shook her mane, trying to dislodge some of the goo that remained, but all it succeeded in doing was making a green mess on the dirt. She sighed. “I honestly have only a vague idea and it still makes no sense.”
“Twi didn’t seem crazy like that when she started wanting to be called the The Academy-”
“The Academician.” Corrected Rarity
Rainbow huffed. “The whatever.”
“Or that’s what she used to call herself, she changed it again to Gold Hoof.”
“What? Why?”
“Some spy book she had been reading. Incidentally, I don’t suppose you would happen to know where The Stare, fluttered off to, would you?”
“The Stare… and I thought my name sounded lame. Nah, I haven’t seen her since she told me the animals were uhh something?”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Something?”
“Yeah, I don’t really remember, I was trying to break the Ponyville record for longest time balancing an ice cream cone on my nose. You remember, I ended up dropping it on your… uhh.” Rainbow looked sheepish. “Dress.”
“Grrrrrrryes, I seem to recall something like that.”
“I said I was sorry.”
“You did not!”
“Well, I meant too.” Suddenly Rainbow found herself unable to keep flying forward, she spun around to find a light blue glow surrounding her tail. “Rarity! What gives, I’m sorry, ok?”
“Quiet.” Rarity wasn’t looking at her, instead she was looking at the trees around them with wide eyes.
“What?” For the first time Rainbow noticed the birds. The branches of every tree around them was full of birds, all sorts of birds, silently watching them. “Uhhhhhhhhh,” she snapped her wings to her sides and landed next to Rarity. Before she could say anything a bear appeared and growled at them.
“I believe we may have found The Stare.” Whispered Rarity.