The meditation room smelled strongly of sandalwood. Two candles on the altar burned bright. A radio played soothing chants. Due to the multitribal nature of the hospital ward, the chants used alternated from the Celestial Hymns of the Unicorns to Earth Pony Psalms. A Pegasii sky prayer was currently playing. The woodwind instruments imitated the rush of the wind as a melodic chant came from a pegasii singer. Twilight was seated, her head raised. She followed the directions of the instructor breathing in and out, trying to keep her mind completely empty.
It was easier said than done. Her mind was constantly racing, constantly planning out every step, constantly worrying about what could go wrong. The instructor had encouraged them to focus on an image when their mind tried to wander. The first image that had come to mind was the sun or at least the stylized sun that was on Celestia's personal standard. She tried to avoid thinking about why that might be. Putting aside any fillyhood crushes that may or may not linger on, she focused on the sun as the sky prayer came to an end with the singer holding onto a long note as the the flutes came to an end. A bell sounded, ending the meditation session.
The instructor rose and the class rose in turn. The instructor serenely smiled. "May peace follow you all your days. I look forward to seeing you next session."
The class dismissed, they trailed out. Twilight trotted back to bed. After the meditation session, her mind was relaxed and calm. She slid into bed. The creases were still there. She tried to ignore them, but it was too much. The creases were everywhere. She got off the bed and summoned magic to smooth it out. Only a few creases were left...
Her thoughts trailed off. Her own mind could not be trusted. The idea frightened her. Her perceptions were entirely off. She couldn't be sure that the sheets were truly as wrinkled as she was perceiving them to be. Besides, the occasional creases on a sheet had never bothered her before. She pulled back the sheets and slid under the covers. Closing her eyes, she tried to sleep. Her mind began to race again. She breathed and focused on Celestia's mark. Slowly, her thoughts began to calm and, at last, sleep claimed her.
...
There was a rythmn to the psych ward that Twilight had begun to fall into. She had always had a certain love for routine and a dislike for uncertainty. Every morning, a nurse would come to wake her up. Then, she would join the other patients for breakfast. After that would come group therapy. This morning, she hadn't shared very much. Instead, she had just tried to listen. She wasn't required to speak, though the therapist did seem concerned by her silence.
In order to assure him, she had told the group that she was feeling better since a visit from her friends. Then, she shared that she had nearly had an anxiety attack over the sheets of her bed being creased. Rain Squall had told her about some breathing exercises she used to stave off anxiety attacks. She had nearly had one the day before, but was able to talk herself down from it.
Twilight memorized the breathing technique Rain Squall showed her. If there was anything she was good at, it was learning something new. After she got out, she decided she was going to do a study of advanced meditation techniques. She had studied it before, but had started to slack off on meditating since she found it extraordinarily difficult to calm her mind. After group therapy, she had free time. She thought about going outside, but today a rain storm had been planned. Grey clouds were already gathering as Twilight glanced outside the window of the therapy room. A roll of thunder sounded and rain poured down. Twilight looked away from the window and decided to return to her room.
She was glad Dash had gotten her the new Daring Do book. This one was particularly action packed and was a welcome distraction from Twilight's current problems. The adventuring pegasus had gone to the Sacred City of the Llamas to retrieve an ancient idol from a ruined temple. The idol had a map inside of it that led to a super weapon fueled by splitting atoms and a nefarious organization wanted to get a hold of it.
Perfect nonsense, of course. Everypony knew atoms couldn't be split. Still, Twilight enjoyed the escape from reality. She trotted back to her room, settled on her bed and flipped the book open. Daring had met a stallion while traveling through the Llama Kingdom. Twilight wondered if he was going to become a love interest.
It would be something to discuss with Dash when they had their next Daring Do book club meeting. Dash hated sappy romances, but Twilight had a secret soft spot for them. The rain tapped on to the window pane while Twilight became engrossed in the novel. It reminded Twilight of happier times when rainy days were spent curled up with a good book, sometimes with her big brother who liked to read books on military history. Sometimes, she would curl up next to her mom who also shared a love for reading.
She remembered asking her mom to read with her, not because she couldn't read the book herself, but because it felt more special to read with her.
Twilight smiled at the memories. She felt a tug on her horn and put the book down. Another, powerful unicorn was coming down the hall. Unicorns who were on the same level could feel a resonance with others. She sensed that this unicorn was male. He was also very powerful, crackling with enough energy to rival her own. He also seemed to be about to lose control of his powers, as if caught up in the grip of some strong emotion. The stallion's magic was twisting, warped, verging on the brink of tuning into the darker frequencies of magic. Beside him, was the unmistakable signature of an alicorn.
The book dropped from her hooves. She recognized both signatures. Had her brother suddenly turned into a warlock since she had last seen him? There was enough anger in his magic to fuel a megaspell that could level several city blocks.
She had never felt such anger from him. Cadence was holding back, but her turmoil was more along the lines of sorrow and confusion.
She braced herself as the nurse knocked on the door and trotted in. "You have visitors, Miss Sparkle."
Twilight nodded. "Send them in."
Shining marched inside, Cadence coming in beside him. He was frowning. His muscles were rigid, almost shaking. An aura of pure anger emanated from him. Twilight gulped. She hadn't seen him this mad since her first coltfriend dumped her. And his anger had never been directed at her. She rose from the bed and stood on the floor.
Cadence laid a hoof on Shining's shoulder.
Shining shook it off as he marched up to Twilight. "Twilight Aurora Sparkle. What the actual fuck were you thinking?!" He roared. Her ears folded back at the scolding and she stepped several paces back.
"Shining!" Cadence put herself between the two siblings. "Don't yell at her!" She reached out a hoof and ran it through Twilight's mane like she had when she'd been a filly. "What your brother is trying to say is that we all care about you and we're...we're worried about you. We just...we just want to understand."
Twilight held her former foalsitter's hoof. "Cadence, let him say what he needs to say. Maybe I need to hear it."
Cadence removed her hoof. "If you say so, Ladybug."
Shining placed both of his hooves on her shoulders and stared into his sister's eyes. Twilight felt a sudden twinge of pity for any guard under her brother's command. "You know I love you, don't you Twilight?"
Twilight nodded and leaned into her brother, comforted by the familiar scent of sweat and grass that clinged to him. "Of course I do. I love you to Shiny."
"So, you know I'm saying this in a spirit of love." He kept his hooves on her shoulders. "What you did was sheer stupidity. No excuses. If you really had a problem, you could have gone to anypony. Your friends. The Princess. Mom, Dad. Cadence." His voice shook. "Me."
"Shining, I know that." She shook her mane. "You have to understand. I wasn't in my right mind. I thought that the world would be better off without me."
He drew her into a fierce, nearly bone-shattering embrace. "My world wouldn't have been." She wrapped her forelegs around him. "Twilight, I made a vow when you were born. When I first held you in my forelegs, I vowed to the Gods that I would protect you. That I would keep you safe. I'm a protector-I can't help it, it's what I am. Remember, how I used to protect you from bullies? I don't know how to protect you from this. I'm sorry, I don't. It makes me frustrated." He was shaking. She realized he was crying. "I'm sorry, Twily. I've buried my best friends after a battle. But that's war. It's what you expect. I didn't expect for my little sister to nearly kill herself. It scared me."
She wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry."
He let her free of the embrace. "I'm the one that's sorry, Twily. I'm being a huge jerk and I'm just making you feel worse."
"Kind of." Cadence muttered.
"No, you're not." Twilight said. "I think I needed to hear that. I didn't think about how I might hurt the ponies I love by...by hurting myself." She turned to Cadence. "I need to say something to you too, Cadence."
Cadence trotted up to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder. "What?"
"I need to apologize. The spell I used to enchant the doll?" She paused. "Mom told you two everything, didn't she?"
"She did. And I already know. I forgive you." She unfurled her wings and wrapped Twilight up in a soft embrace.
Twilight snuggled into her chest. "It was your spell for spreading love and I took it and twisted it into something vile. How could you forgive me?" She felt tears welling up in her eyes.
Cadence wiped them away with a feather, lightly tickling Twilight's cheek. "I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, Twilight. If I can't forgive, I can hardly expect others to forgive me when I err. And I know you're not a bad pony. You were just...you just made a bad choice." She tilted up Twilight's chin. "I forgive you, Ladybug. Can you forgive yourself?"
She nuzzled Cadence's hoof. "It's going to take a while."
"Forgiving oneself always does. Forgiveness is a long road." She looked around the room. "So, do you still like lemon poppy seed muffins? I know this great place in Canterlot."
Twilight hesitated. "I don't think I'm quite ready to leave yet. And I just had breakfast."
Cadence smiled. "That's alright. What do you want to do?"
"Well, maybe, we could take a walk outside. Is it still raining?" She looked out the window. The storm had passed, but there were still grey clouds looming.
Cadence looked out as well. "We could still take a walk. Some fresh air would do you good."
"I'd like that."
Together, Twilight, Cadence and Shining left the room, Twilight between them.