Chapter 23 - It’s Just A Prank
"Surprise!"
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Gremlin territory. A two block radius centered on a single story motel. The motel being their main base of operations and everything else designated at their looting territory. Of course, this territory expands every so often, mainly when they run out of buildings to salvage within their current radius. On the buildings surrounding this radius, warnings are painted near a large G. The bottom of which resembles a laughing smile.
The four of us find ourselves on the edge of their territory looking at one of these Gs. Messages ranging from ‘The joke’s on you!’ to ‘Scavengers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.’ adorn the wall. Some give rather mixed messages, if you ask me. We ignore the messages for the most part and continue into Gremlin territory.
Our goal is the central motel, but if we run into a Gremlin before then, that will work in our favor as well. They like pranks, Shrill said, and tend to trap their territory with them. I would rather not run into any of these pranks if we can avoid it. We get a block in and don’t run into anyone or any traps.
“So far so good,” I mutter. “We’ll make it there in no time if we…” I pause as I hear a faint sound. I perk up my ears to listen for it again. It sounds like...crying? I start walking towards the source and the others follow me. “Do you all hear that?” I ask them.
“Crying?” Cora asks. “Yea, it is coming from just up ahead,” She says. I quicken my pace. It seems to be coming from the fuel station just up ahead. Part of the station is collapsed, allowing easy entry into the building. I spot a baby carriage in the middle of the room. The crying seems to be coming from it. I quickly trot up to it.
“Ratchet, wait,” Shrill says as I approach it. It is turned away from me, so I raise a hoof to turn it around.
“Shhh, It’s ok now,” I say, as I begin to turn it. Suddenly a white glow envelops the carriage and it is sent flying across the room into the wall. My eyes go wide with shock as I turn toward Shrill. “Why did you-” But I’m cut off as an explosion erupts behind me. I turn around and see the carriage engulfed in flame.
“It was a trap, Ratchet,” Shrill says. She floats a doll’s head in front of me, shakes it, and it starts crying. “A cruel and deadly trap,” She says.
“I thought you said the jokes the Gremlins played are harmless?” I ask, a bit shaken up. If Shrill hadn’t noticed and shoved that away, I would have died.
“Last time I was here, they were,” Shrill explains. “The worst you’d get was a bloody nose or something. Something’s doesn’t seem right. We should stay on guard.” Just then, a chorus of laughter breaks out. It seems to be coming from all around us. It get closer, and after a few moments, about six ponies come into view.
“Gotcha!” One of them yells. “Looks like you survived the blast though! Seems you got some luck! But let’s see if that luck holds out!” More laughing from the rest rings out. They get closer.
“Oh, wait a sec!” A mare calls out. “That one, the white one! That’s that Discordia ambassador person, Shrill, I think?” She says. The others mutter in agreement.
“Well, what are you doing out here Shrill? Come by for a visit? I’m sure the boss would love to see ya!” A buck says as they all continue laughing. It is like they are all insane almost, but they don’t seem to be that far gone.
“Why don’t we escort ya back there, no sense in you running into any more traps!” A third buck says. They group together and all smile, waiting for us to follow them.
“That sounds good,” Shrill says. The four of us begin to follow the Gremlins back to the motel. After a while, a few of them leave to patrol the area, leaving only two of them. It isn’t much longer and we reach the motel. Our guides stop suddenly and turn to us. One of them walks over to Cygnus and puts a hoof up to his chest.
“You have something on your barding, right here,” He says. “You should take a look, it is very unbecoming.” Oddly enough, he says it with a completely straight face, gazing seriously into Cygnus’s eyes.
Cygnus looks completely unamused. “Do you think I’m a colt? That is the oldest trick in the book. I’d look down and you’d hit me in the face. I thought you guys were supposed to be funny?” Cygnus asks.
The buck prods him a few more times, but finally says, “Ahh, you’re no fun! We’ll get you yet though.” They turn around again and lead us through the crumbling wall of the motel. It takes us to a small room. They keep going and open the door leading to a hallway.
The hallway is cleaner than the rest of the buildings I’ve seen in the wasteland. Though, by prewar standards it still still pretty grimey. We walk down the hallway into what was once the lobby of the motel. They lead us past the destroyed front desk, and into the back room. Probably the staff lounge.
It isn’t anything special, probably the smaller than the motel rooms. There is a terminal resting on a desk against the wall to our right. Scrap paper litters the floor, almost like pages of a book were torn apart. In a locked display case hanging on the wall directly in front of the door. Two old posters hang on the wall, flanking the case. They are Ministry of Moral posters. The left one shows Pinkie Pie smiling at the viewer with the phrase ‘Pinkie Pie is Watching You!’. The right poster shows Pinkie shooting a cannon exploding with confetti as balloons fly around her, saying ‘Smile!’
Posters like these were commonplace during the war. In addition to a variety of others from each ministry. But these posters paled in comparison to what was help within the display case. A single figurine of Pinkie Pie, just as Shrill said. It looks almost brand new. Just looking at it made me want to smile.
Despite how I want to linger my gaze on the figurine, I move it to the couch where a bright pink pony sits, smiling. Across from him, in the center of the room, is another couch. Between them is a simple coffee table. “Hey Gremlock,” The mare escorting us says in a sing-songy voice, “Guess who’s back!”
Gremlock smiles wider. “Well hey! If it isn’t Shrill, our old friend! Well, maybe not too old. We did only meet for the first time a few weeks ago. But I feel like we’re already so close. Great, great friends!” He chuckles and claps his hooves together. “Please, please, you and your friends sit down! No need to stand around so awkwardly! I know I tend to ramble at times, so your legs will get tired if you insist on standing around!” Gremlocks laughs heartily, gesturing to the couch in front of him.
We shuffle towards the couch and sit down, but it is only big enough for three of us, so Cora stands beside me. The door closes, but the other Gremlins stay in the room. They stand in the corners behind us. “Hope you don’t mind if they listen in,” Gremlocks says, “You can never be too careful in the wasteland, and we didn’t take your guns. Now then, how can I help you this time, Shrill?”
Gremlock’s smile never falters. Come to think of it, I don’t remember those other two behind us not smiling, aside from when the buck tried to fool Cygnus. “We have a proposition for you,” Shrill says. She’s using that timid voice again. “It is about joining Discordia,” She says. Gremlock’s face brightens up.
“I thought as much! That’s what you were here about last time too! But, if you’re here now, that must mean something has changed! Tell me, Shrill, what is this new proposal you have!” His smile only widens as he talks. He is like a madman, constantly stifling his laughter.
“Sharp as always,” Shrill compliments him. “You’d still be joining Discordia, but you will be doing something different than the usual gangs that join up. You’ll be spies,” She explains. This causes Gremlock to burst out into a fit of laughter.
“That sounds interesting! Tons of fun too! Spying is just like playing a prolonged prank! Oh, this reminds me, I heard an interesting rumor recently. It has to do with Discordia. Apparently, there was a big fight recently. Something crazy! All of the Discordia members died, or so it is said,” Gremlock says, clasping his hooves together.
“You mean the attack on the ranger Stable?” Shrill asks. “Yea, it was apparently a bloodbath. Though the rangers ended up victorious.”
Gremlock shakes his head. “That’s not what I’m talking about. This rumor says that Grimoire himself captured someone, but when he returned to where he was keeping them, everyone was dead and his captive gone,” Gremlock says, his grin twisting into a menacing crescent moon. I swallow. What he’s talking about, it couldn’t possibly be… “There was one Discordia member missing, though. You, Shrill,” He says, almost purring. This might be bad.
“So, I was thinking,” Gremlock continues, “either you survived and went after the captive, or the captive captured you. But…” He trails off, looking over the four of us. “Since the captive was a mare, and that,” He gestures at Cora, “is an empty suit of armor, that means that this mare in the labcoat must be the captive.” Not good, not good, not good!
“I decided to drag this conversation out to see how you act,” Gremlock explains. “And, it looks as though you aren’t being held against your will. Meaning, that you must have left Discordia!” He declares, clapping his hooves giddily.
“B-Brilliant skills of deduction, Gremlock,” Shrill replies, a bit nervously. I think we are all feeling nervous right now. There is just one question that will decide what happens here though.
“Of course! Pranks are all about deduction, well, reverse deduction, I suppose. If you can figure out how someone will react to something, you can engineer a prank just for them! But I digress. If you left Discordia, and want me to join Discordia, but say I will be spying. That can only mean one thing! You want me to spy on Discordia for you! Am I correct!?” Gremlock asks, shaking with laughter.
“That is correct,” Shrill admits. “We want to take Grimoire down,” She explains. And now, the one question. Whose side is Gremlock on?
“Excellent! Excellent! That sounds brilliantly fun!” Gremlock is racked with laughter. So much so, his laughter turns raspy. “Oh this is so great! So very great! Oh Shrill, you have made this so much fun! I do believe we will help you!” He declares, throwing his hooves into the air and beaming widely.
We all let out a collective sigh. That’s a loud off. Things would have gotten very bad if he refused our proposal. “That’s great,” Shrill says. “Now then, let’s discuss our plan in a bit more detail,” She begins.
Gremlock’s grin shifts into a twisted crescent as he tilts his head back. “Just. Kidding.” He declares as his eyes sparkle. I look at him in confusion. But then I hear the shuffling behind us and my blood runs cold. “We’ve sided with Discordia already. Oh the look on your faces! The look of the despair you are gazing upon, the turmoil! The inner conflict! Oh such beautiful expressions! This is why we prank, this is why we joined Discordia! To look upon the faces of thousands of ponies as we prank them into the depths of despair!” Gremlock cackles, throwing his head back as his hoof slides under his couch cushion.
Cygnus has started muttering, Shrill appears as frightened as I am, and Cora is...I’m not sure. Gremlock lifts a revolver from under his cushion and transfers it to his mouth, still laughing around the bit. “Duck!” Cygnus shouts right as a riot shield takes form in front of us. His shout snaps me out of it and Gremlock shoots his revolver, but the bullet hits the shield, causing it to start flying towards us. Shril, Cygnus, and I duck behind our couch as the Gremlins behind us open fire.
I catch the shield with my magic, and hold it between us and Gremlock, whose eyes seem to be dancing. Meanwhile, Cora is shooting at the ones behind us. I focus on the shield and bash it into Gremlock, shoving him into the back of the couch and holding him there. After a few more seconds, the shooting behind us stops.
We peek over the back and see the two Gremlins lying dead. “I’ve detected more outside,” Cora tells us. “Around ten, but more could be coming,” She says.
Shit. “Hey Cora, you think you can run through the wall opposite the door? These walls don’t seem very thick,” I ask her. She starts running and turns to run directly into the wall, right where the display case is. She charges through without a problem. “Follow her, we need to get outside,” I declare as I walk towards the hole she made. Gremlock is still laughing from behind the shield as we make our way though.
As I’m about to enter into the next room, I notice the figurine among the rubble. “Yoink,” I mutter as I pick it up with my magic and toss it in my saddlebags. We enter into the typical motel room, one large room with a smaller one, probably a bathroom, in the corner. A deteriorated bed is in another corner, a kitchen in the third, and a TV and chair in the fourth. Though, the whole room can be walked across in a matter of five good strides.
I look to the door on our left, which should lead into the hallway we came in from. That would probably be a bad idea, since more Gremlins would enter from there as well. “Forward march! Though the wall again Cora!” I declare. I’m not sure why, but I can tell if we keep going straight we’ll make it out without any obstacles. Cora charges through the next wall, and we follow her into another room exactly the same as the previous. “Keep going!” I shout to her, as we run through the rooms.
We pass through two more rooms and she’s about to hit the next one, but a nagging feeling makes me call out to her. “Wait!” I shout. She skids to a halt inches from the wall. I walk over to it and knock on it with a hoof. Yep, that is concrete. Not the thin drywall we’ve been running through before. It would definitely do damage to Cora’s body.
As I think about our next move, I hear Gremlock’s voice from behind us. “Get Linen! She won’t want to miss this fun!” He shouts happily. It is almost like two of his friends didn’t just get killed. Who is this Linen though? Ugh, nevermind that. We need to get outside.
“Cygnus, your turn! Blow up this wall. It is concrete, so whatever you got that can do that,” I tell him. He nods and starts mumbling. A minute later, a tan brick appears in front of him. He sticks it to the wall.
“Back into the previous room,” Cygnus says as he trots briskly into the room we just came from. We follow and as soon as we get on the other side of the wall, a large explosion erupts. Concrete flies in through the hole Cora made. Once thing settle down, we walk back into the other room.
The previously dirty room is now even dirtier, dust and concrete chunks litter everywhere. Quite a few bits of concrete are wedged into the walls as well. The old wallpaper is on fire as well. “Good work!” I tell him. “Alright, outside now, then the fight really begins,” I say, walking towards the hole leading outside.
I step through the hole and look around outside. No Gremlins, just a rubble filled street. Across the road is a half collapsed convenience store. I start walking over to it. “We should take cover in there, see how the Gremlins react,” I tell the others. Cora and Cygnus start following me out with Shrill exiting last.
As we make our way across, I see rain starting to fall. It isn’t much more than a drizzle to start with, but my PipBuck clicks a bit. But after a few moments the drizzle turns into a downpour and my PipBuck’s clicking picks up rapidly. I hear Shrill curse under her breath. “We need to turn back!” She shouts. “We have to get back into the building!”
We’ve already made it a third of the way to the convenience store and she wants to turn back? “Why? We are almost-” A flash of lightning cuts me off and the following thunder drowns out my voice. My PipBuck’s clicking reaches its peak, sounding someone furiously crinkling up paper. I quickly glance down at it and see the needle all the way at the maximum point. How many rads per second was that? Way too much to be good.
I turn around immediately, and the four of us spill back into the motel room we left from. “Wha-what’s going on?” I ask Shrill. It isn’t like this is the first time it has rained in the wasteland around me before. It was fine near my lab and Stable 36. It even snowed! Which given that it is early fall, is kind of odd now that I think of it.
My PipBuck’s clicking slows to a minimal level as Shrill answers my question. “It is a radiation storm,” Shrill explains. “We aren’t that far from the Manehatten Crater, you know, where the megaspell hit? It is still heavily irradiated around there, and since we are only three blocks from the outer edge of the irradiated zone, weather is deadly.”
“Previous rainstorms gather radiation from the crater, and then it gets collected in the clouds. Then when it rains, the radiation leaks back out. It isn’t just rain though, when the wind blows heavily it can carry dust from the crater which will also get you. But rain is the worst by far since it also brings lingering radiation back to the surface,” Shrill informs us. “We won’t be able to leave this building for a few hours after the rain stops,” She adds.
This certainly ruined my fall back and see what they do plan. But it raises another question. “Why aren’t the Pegasi doing anything about it? I know they aren’t exactly helpful as of late, but why would they let radiation filled clouds stay around? It can’t be good for them either,” I ask.
Shrill shrugs. “It is probably easier for them to just ignore them. I doubt any Pegasi live above Manehatten. More than likely, it isn’t close enough for them to care,” She states simply.
I sigh. What happened with the Pegasi that caused them to just abandon the surface? Sure, it isn’t perfect, but with help it can thrive again. That’s what I hope, at least. From what everyone says, it is like they just left the surface to die. “That’s messed up,” I mutter.
“Messed up or not,” Cygnus says, “we’ve got a more pressing issue.” Laughter starts to reach my ears. Cygnus is right, since we are in this motel, we are trapped with the enemy. And they know where we went. It is only a matter of time before fighting starts. Right now it is kill or be killed. They joined up with Discordia, if we don’t stop them, they will hurt others. So, why can’t I seem to bring myself to make the first move?
Thunder flashes before my eyes. He died because of my decisions. If I wasn’t leading, he wouldn’t have died. Is that why I can’t bring myself to lead an attack? Why I wanted to retreat to wait and see? If we stay here, they will come to us or trap the way to them. The longer we wait, the higher the probability we will die. So why am I hesitating? The Rangers taught me that hesitation in battle is what causes battles to be won or lost, what causes ponies to die.
Why am I the one in charge? I can’t do this, I’m a scientist for Celestia’s sake! What made me think I could lead ponies into fights? To fight a threat as huge as Grimoire and his army? I couldn’t even keep Thunder alive against mindless ghouls! I feel my body shaking as I stare blankly at the hole Cora made crashing through the walls. “Ratchet, what’s wrong?” Cygnus says, waving a hoof in front of me.
The laughter just keeps getting louder and other laughs join in forming a chorus. I’m scared. Terrified. I fall to my butt and wrap my hooves around myself. I can’t stop shaking. Why? That single word rings through my head countless times. Sometimes it is followed by others. Why am I here? Why are the others following me? Why can’t I do anything? Why is the wasteland like this? Why? Why? Why?! Why! I start shaking my head, looking down at the dirty floor.
I’m losing it. The others are looking at me in concern, saying words that I can’t hear. Only one word reaches me: “Why?” And then I register the words that followed it: “are you just sitting there?” It isn’t spoken with concern, but with disappointment. I don’t recognize the voice. I look up, look past my friends, and see the figure standing behind them. My friends don’t seem to know he’s there. But I can tell why.
The transparent body is enough of a reason, and it tells me exactly who this figure is. Wrapped in a crimson cloak, glaring at me with scarred features and spiteful eyes, is War. He must be here for us. We are going to die, and now I knew it for certain. I look directly at him, and mutter, “What else can I do?”
My friends look at me oddly, but War replies, “That’s up to you.” He seems tired, fed up. Death had told me I was special, something that would break him from his monotony and something he wanted to see develop. I suppose War’s current tone is because he is disappointed that this is the end of me.
“Now that you’re here, we’re all dead anyway. What’s the point?” I ask him. My friends look at me with concern, only hearing my words and not War’s. They ask who I’m talking to, if I’m alright. But I ignore them and focus solely on the figure they can’t see.
“Your end isn’t guaranteed,” War replies. “Death told you we can’t see the time around you. We can only tell that deaths will happen, not whose deaths. We can guess, but nothing more. So get on your hooves and fight. I came here because ponies are going to die by violence. If you wish to sit here and wait for them to put a bullet through your skull, so be it,” He tells me flatly.
I’m start to reply, but he stops me. “But I am War! I demand that you get on your hooves and die in battle if you are to die! Don’t you dare give into cowardice! You are mine, Ratchet. Not Death’s, not Famine’s, and not Pestilence’s, you are mine. I will be the one to guide you to the afterlife,” He growls. “If you die a coward’s death, I will make your journey to the afterlife grueling. I will make it a torturous ordeal that not even hell itself can match! So rise to your hooves, draw your weapon, and attack your enemy!” He spits at me.
“Why?” I ask, using the very word that plagues my thoughts. “Why does it matter so much to you?” His expression grows stern as he glares at me.
“I have waited countless years to witness something interesting, something not even I can explain,” War tells me. “I have seen war develop throughout all of time, ponies killing ponies even for the most simplistic of reasons. War never changes, Ratchet. It simply evolves. But you, I think you might be able to change just what war is,” He says, smiling slightly with hopeful eyes.
“But I killed Hearty in cold blood,” I mutter. War is wrong, I can’t change the way war is. I’m a killer, just like the rest.
But War just laughs. “Doctor Hearty is scum. You know what would have happened had he not died by your hoof? He would have escaped and killed more! You decision, while rash, was the correct choice. So stand up, Ratchet. Fight. Survive. Show me what your type of war is!” He bellows.
I stare blankly at him for a moment, not sure what to say. Just then, Cora places her armored hoof on my shoulder and looks into my eyes. “Ratchet?” She says. I blink and look at her. At the same time, I notice my shaking has subsided, for the most part. I take a deep breath and rise to my hooves, looking at my friends.
“Sorry. I…” I trail off and Cora shakes her head.
“It’s ok Ratchet, as long as you are alright now,” She says happily. Cygnus coughs, getting our attention.
“I’m glad you’re fine now, Ratchet, but at the moment, we need a plan. So if you are ready, we should work on that,” Cygnus says. I nod in agreement, noticing he is already wearing some riot armor. I reach into my bags and pull out...The Pinkie figure. It is like it calls out to me, asking to be gazed upon.
It is like a toy, but I don’t remember anything like this being made. I recall some toy company had created a line of toys that resembled the Ministry Mares and the Princesses, but they were plushies and moveable figures. This figure seems like it is meant to be displayed. I turn the figure and inspect it thoroughly. My eyes stop on the inscription at the bottom. Awareness! It was under "E"!
Curious phrase. Huh? What was that? It felt like a cold wave suddenly passed over me. My thoughts seem a little clearer too. Ugh, maybe I got exposed to a little too much radiation. The rain couldn’t be helping either. Speaking of, it sounds like the rain has picked up even more. Wait...sounds. A chill runs down my spine.
The laughter has stopped. I look around quickly, nothing. I glance at the door that leads to the hallway and stare at it for a moment. Then I hear it, an almost inaudible giggle, like someone trying to stifle their laughter. “Cora,” I say as quietly as possible, “turn that door into swiss cheese on my mark. And Cygnus, get a grenade ready.” Cygnus looks at me questioningly, but starts muttering specifications. Cora turns to face the door and readies her assault rifle.
We wait with only Cygnus’s muttering breaking the silence. I close my eyes and listen intently. I wait for one single sound. There it is, the clattering of a doorknob. “Now!” I shout. An instant later, Cora opens fire, punching holes through the thin wooden door. I hear shouts and cries mix in with the erupting laughter as the door falls inward towards us, a Gremlin falls with it, dead. At that moment, Cygnus tosses a grenade into the hallway.
Before any more cross the threshold it explodes and a chorus of screams follow. No one seems to make a move to come in after us. I glance at War, but he simply walks through the wall to where the grenade blew up at. “Cora, check the tunnel through the rooms we made. Make sure no one is coming from that way,” I tell her. “Cygnus, summon up a gun and let’s check the hall,” I say, walking cautiously towards the doorway.
“What about me, Ratchet?” Shrill asks eagerly. I turn and look at her for a moment. Her light leather armor, single pistol, and flimsy knife. Too bad this isn’t really a situation for stealth.
“Uhh...just stay here for now, I suppose?” I suggest. She looks disappointed but silently nods her head. Cygnus and I carefully look out into the hallway. We find six Gremlins, four of which are dead. Their body parts litter the hall and blood covers the walls.The other two have missing limbs, and are just barely clinging to life. Despite this, they laugh, coughing up blood as they do so.
Cygnus quickly ends their suffering with his sub-machine gun. The rest of the hallway is clear. I don’t even see War anymore. I guess they did say I will only see them sometimes. But, where are the rest of the Gremlins? Surely there are more inside? At least Gremlock, for sure. We walk back into the room with Shrill and Cora. “That’s seven total dead so far,” I announce. “Now we need to go on the offensive,” I say. The only question, is how to do so.
Since they came from the hall, and not the tunnel we made, maybe the trapped the tunnel? If that’s the case, we should use the hall. But they’d be expecting that. And with four of us in the narrow hallway, we would end up like the Gremlins just outside the doorway. In that case…
“Let’s split up,” I decide. “Cora and I will take the hall since we are both pretty loud. Cygnus, if you will put a silencer or something on that gun, you and Shrill will go back through the tunnel we made. Watch out for traps and stay quiet. Hopefully you can catch them by surprise while we draw their attention. Sound good?” I ask.
Shrill and Cygnus nod in agreement. “Ok. Let’s do this then! Oh, yea. If you run into trouble, just call out and Cora and I will come through a wall or something,” I say with a smile. Cygnus shakes his head with a chuckle. Shrill looks a bit hesitant at going with Cygnus. Undoubtedly she wants to go with me instead.
“Good luck, Ratchet, see you on the other side,” Shrill says as Cora and I head into the hallway. We walk down the hallway with doors on our right and the occasional window on our left. It is a straight shot back to the lobby. We make it half way down when two Gremlins lean around the entrance way at the end of the hall and start shooting at us. I quickly get behind Cora as she starts to return fire with her assault rifle.
I draw Forgiveness, since my shotgun doesn’t have the range for this, and carefully aim around her to help. After a few moments, Cora fires her sniper. It catches one of them in the shoulder and he wheels back around the corner. With one less enemy shooting at us, we move up the hallway as the other buck reloads. But it isn’t long before the buck with the shot shoulder returns, laughing, to shoot at us again.
I empty Forgiveness’s cylinder without scoring a single hit. I take cover behind Cora and reload. Peeking out behind her again, I see a two more Gremlins have joined in shooting at us. One has a smg while the others are only using pistols, I think. We are still a little too far for me to make out their weapons. But, at this rate we won’t be moving up any further. I come up with a plan, and tell Cora, “Take the two on the left. Once the one with the smg goes to reload, I’ll take the two on the right.” She nods in agreement and I float out an inhaler of Dash. I listen to the gunfire and wait for a break in the automatic. Now!
I put the inhaler to my lips and breath the chemical in. The world slows down, but I need to close the gap between us before I risk shooting at them. I gallop out from behind of Cora and stick along the right side of the hall. At the same time, Cora focuses on the two leaning around the left side of the entryway, pinning them down with her assault rifle. The two on the right seem unsure who they should shoot at, and hesitate for a moment. It is just long enough for me to get halfway to them before they decide to focus on me.
Their bullets narrowly miss me, one even grazing my cheek as I continue running and level my gun at one of them. I am for her head and pull the trigger. My shot goes wide, hitting the wall beyond them. I line up another shot, and miss my intended target but hit the buck beside her in the muzzle. The bullet shreds part of his jaw and he reels from the pain back around the corner, missing half of his bottom jaw.
The two on the left side are still pinned by Cora’s automatic fire. Thank the Goddesses for her guns being belt fed. But I’m not sure she has much ammo left for it at this point. We need to finish this quick. I refocus on the mare I am shooting at and pull the trigger again. This time, I hit her, but not her head. It hit the side of her neck, just far enough in to not be counted as a graze, but nothing lethal. At this point, Cora begins walking up the hall. I only have a few seconds left before the Dash wears off. I have to make it count.
I yell for Cora to stop shooting. The moment she does, I leap to the left side of the hall to get a better view of the mare I am trying to hit. Her pistol follows me, sending bullets into the floor and wall as I make my way across the hall. I line up a shot, and pull the trigger. I get lucky, and this bullet finds its way into the right side of her head, a look of shock shows temporarily on her face before it contorts into pain and she falls to the ground. Right as her body thumps to the floor, the Dash wears off.
Cora is a few feet behind me when the two on the left lean around the corner again. Immediately, Cora’s sniper goes off and hits the one in front right between his eyes. I turn my gun at the other and shoot my remaining two bullets at him. I hit him in leg once, catching him off guard, but my other bullet misses. He turns his smg on me and starts shooting. My armor absorbs a few hits, but his aim swings low and a few bullets catch me in the left leg and PipBuck. Cora shoots another round at him, catching him square in the throat. His eyes bulge as he drops his gun and starts gasping for air.
While he’s suffocating, Cora catches up to me. “Good shooting, Cora,” I say as I float out some bandages to wrap my wounds in. “There’s still one on the right side at least, I don’t think I did enough to finish him off,” I tell her, reloading my revolver as I finish wrapping my leg. Cora turns to point her guns at that side of the entryway. I’m putting the last bullet in the cylinder when the buck I shot comes running around the corner, laughing hysterically.
His head is tilted as he holds a pistol in his mouth. Part of his tongue hangs out of the missing part of his jaw and it spasms when he pulls the trigger. I fumble with my gun as Cora starts shooting him, but he doesn’t stop shooting, his bullets going wild, hitting all around us. I manage to get the last bullet into the cylinder and close it up. I hurry and aim at him as he gets closer. Cora’s bullets cut into his legs, chest, and neck, but he still keeps coming. The gun bounces around in his mouth wildly. I pull the trigger, miss. I pull it again, miss. Again, miss. Come on! One more time! Miss. I charge closer to him, trying to avoid his bullets and shoot again. Miss. That’s it! I slam into him, knocking the gun from his jaws and put Forgiveness against his temple. All the while, he never stops laughing until I pull gun away and knock him out with my butt of the gun.
“Ratchet, are you alright?” Cora asks, her voice filled with worry. She walks over to me and helps me off the buck’s body.
“Yea, his aim was even worse than mine. With part of his jaw missing, I guess he couldn’t stabilize it too easily. He just caught me in the barding a few times,” I reply. “We’re not done yet, Gremlock is still here somewhere,” I remind her. “Hopefully Cygnus and Shrill are doing better than we are,” I add.
Once I reload Forgiveness again, I peek around the corner. Two ponies are sitting on a couch in the lobby. Their backs are to the employee lounge and they are looking in our direction, like they are waiting for us to come out. One is Gremlock, the other is a cream colored mare with a blue mane. Gremlock is the only one with a gun. The mare is wearing some things on her hooves, but they don’t look like ranged weapons. I lean back around the corner.
“I only see two of them, Gremlock and a mare. Gremlock has his pistol, the mare might have some sort of close-ranged weapon. You want to take the lead and I’ll use you as cover?” I ask Cora.
Cora nods. “Stay behind me, Ratchet. I’ll make sure you don’t get hit!” She declares boldly, stepping forward. I get behind her and we walk out into the lobby. A single shot pings off of Cora’s armor uselessly. Gremlock’s laugh follows it and I notice the mare’s giggle mixed in.
“So, just the two of you then?” Gremlock asks with a wide grin. He stomps a hoof. Instantly, ponies emerge from behind the furniture, all pointing various guns at us. One shoots immediately, the gun is loud and the bullet catches Cora in the right foreleg. The sound of struck metal rings out. I don’t think anything of it, until she lists a bit to the right. Another shot makes its way to her left foreleg right as Cora tries to shoot back. Cora falls forward and her bullets strike the floor instead.
“W-what?” I ask, stunned. I peek around Cora and see that both her forelimbs have been severed. Gremlock raises a hoof and I look up at him. I count the ponies, nine, counting Gremlock and the mare. One is holding a large rifle, the others are using smgs and pistols, one is holding a bat. Cora is unable to shoot back at them now, her guns can’t aim up that high, not even Raptor Blood on her back.
Gremlock and the mare beside him laugh at Cora’s attempts to raise her guns high enough to shoot them. “Be happy we aren’t taking your real legs!” Gremlock howls. “But now the real fun starts! I’m thinking we play a game for your lives!” He declares. The Gremlins around him let loose a chorus of laughter. After a moment, Gremlock raises a hoof and their laughter lowers so barely audible snickers.
“A game?” I mutter from behind Cora. I look over the group of ponies in front of me, pointing their guns at me, and quickly realize I don’t really have a choice. “Fine, what’s the game?” I ask him.
He grins widely at my questions and states simply, “We’ll be asking you seven questions. If you answer wrong, you get shot. Answer correctly, and move on to the next question. There is the possibility that you can get a few wrong and still walk away alive. As the questions progress, however, the lethality of the shots will increase as well. Getting the last question wrong results in a headshot, for example.”
I raise an eyebrow. A question and answer game? It sounds like the game could go either way, depending upon what questions are asked. Prewar knowledge, wasteland knowledge, something specific to the Gremlins? There could be a chance I know nothing about the question being asked.
The mare next to him speaks while I’m deep in through, drawing my attention. “Of course, it will be fair,” she says with a kindly smile. It feels off. “Some are logic questions, others are a question of morals. Sometimes a question might have multiple answers as well. A few will even be multiple choice,” She tells me. Her tone is motherly, it it very out of place among the current company.
“Lin speaks the truth,” Gremlock says, giving her a smile. “She has a habit of doing that, trying to give the player a slight advantage.”
Lin, the mare next to him laughs. “You just have a habit of spinning the truth to fit what you want. One might even call you a liar, if they didn’t know you,” She tells him.
“Ha! I’ve never told a lie to a single living pony! I might just leave out some details so they don’t have the whole truth though,” He smirks.
“Like when you told that buck the bathroom was through a house full of mines?” Lin says, with an irritated look.
“Exactly! The bathroom was on the other side of the house, that much was true. I just failed to tell him about the mines, or that there was a safer path!” Gremlock chuckles.
Lin sighs. “I think we’ve made our guest wait long enough, Grem. Let’s start, shall we?” She asks.
Them talking has raised a curious question in me. Before Gremlock replies, I interject quickly. “Can I ask a question first?” I ask. Lin look interested and nods. “Your name is Lin, right? And you keep calling Gremlock ‘Grem’, right?”
“Correct,” Lin replies with a sweet smile. “Grem is my pet name for him, has been since we met so many years ago,” she says with a touch of nostalgia.
I nod. “So, the Gremlin name came from the combination of your names then, Grem and Lin?” I ask. “Not from the mystical creature with the same name?” I add.
Gremlock looks confused. “There is a creature named Gremlin? Ha, what do you know!” he says with a hearty chuckle. Well, that is surprising. They are even mischievous like Gremlins, so I thought that’s where they got their name from. It is one hell of a coincidence that they took the name and even act similarly.
“With your question out of the way,” Gremlock begins, “Let’s start the game, shall we? Lin and I will alternate asking questions, sometimes we will ask a question together. Ready? Good! First question: What is twelve times two divided by four?”
The question catches me slightly off guard. I wasn’t expecting a simple math problem. “Six,” I answer.
“Ding, ding, ding!” Gremlock declares. “Correct! You’d be surprised how many ponies get that question wrong now-a-days. Your turn, Lin,” Gremlock says, turning to face Lin.
Lin puts a hoof to her chin and closes her eyes. After a moment, she opens her eyes and looks at me. It is almost like she is looking down on me. “I am white and black. But also red all over. What am I?” She asks.
A riddle? White, black, and red, hu? An object? A creature? But wait. The way she said the riddle, separating the white and black part and the red part. Perhaps it is something white and black, that has been dyed red? Some birds have white and black feathers. If their feathers are removed by force instead of natural shedding, they will bleed. That might cause the feathers to be dyed red.
But, isn’t that too specific for a riddle? Not all birds or feathers are black and white. If I answer ‘bird’ or ‘feather’, I don’t think that would work. Do I need to be specific and give the name of a bird? No, the answer to riddles is supposed to be simple. It must be something else. White and black...white and black...A zebra? Red...paint? Or could it be...blood? A zebra dyed red with blood? Could that be the answer?
“Am I aloud to answer?” Cora asks suddenly.
Gremlock shrugs. “I don’t see why not. Your life is on the line as well,” he says with a laugh. “Do you have an answer?”
Cora nods, which causes her to strike the muzzle of the armor against the floor. “A newspaper,” She says simply. What? A newspaper?
“Correct,” Lin says simple, smiling warmly.
“What? How is that the answer?” I question.
“Simple,” Cora states, “newspapers are printed in black and white. And they are read. As in how you read a newspaper. Not red as in the color. They sound the same, red and read, that’s the trick to the riddle.” That simple, hu? To think, I was about to answer with a zebra. I swallow. Thank Celestia Cora is here or else we would have gotten shot.
“Two questions down, very good!” Gremlock declares. “But it only gets harder here on out. Five questions remain, and it is my turn!” He says with a wide grin. “This one is multiple choice, a moral dilemma. You want to play a prank on your father. He has left the house, giving you the chance to pull your prank. What do you do? A) Switch his heart medication with sugar pills. B) Drop a cherry bomb in his toilet. C) Loosen the bolts on his sink. When it is used next, it will flood the room. Or D) Tamper with his electric razor, causing him to get a shock the next time he uses it.”
What in the name of Princess Luna? This was hardly a moral dilemma question. All these choices are bad. A, he could die. B, you ruin the toilet. C, you ruin the floor and cause a lot of clean up work. D, you electrocute him. I can easily eliminate A and D, since they cause undue harm. B isn’t a prank if he isn’t there to see it, you just break his toilet. That leaves C. “I’ll go with C,” I answer.
Gremlock laughs. “I personally would have chosen B. Nothing says ‘prank’ quite like a loud bang! But, this question doesn’t have a specific answer. It is a moral question, after all. That means you are right,” Gremlock explains. What? So no matter what I choose I could have gotten it right? Why ask the question then? Does he want me to win?
“I’m next,” Lin says. “Question number four. I’m going to kill you. But first, I want to play and give you a chance. I will shoot you once and let you start running. I give you the choice of what I shoot. Your leg, your mouth, your horn, your neck, your head, or your chest. Which do you choose, and why?” She asks. A chill runs down my spine at the question. Her voice is still as sweet and motherly as it has been, but for some reason there is no doubt in my mind that she means exactly what she is saying. She wants to kill me.
“Simple!” Cora says energetically. “My chest. It is hollow inside me anyway and it will cause the least amount of damage,” She declares.
“I’m not asking you,” Lin replies. “This question is for the living, flesh and blood pony cowering behind you. You have no horn, so you clearly cannot answer this question,” She states, sounding sweet as ever. But her words are clearly filled with contempt. I swallow.
The choices flash through my mind. Half are basically fatal, chest, neck, and head. Shooting my horn probably implies she would shoot it off, leaving me without magic. My mouth...The image of the buck whose jaw I shot off flashes into my mind. But between my mouth and my leg? “My mouth,” I answer. “Without a horn, I can’t fight back as well. Without my legs working properly, I doubt I could keep up in a fight or run away. The other three would spell death,” I explain.
“So, that is your answer,” Lin mutters. “Good, you answered correctly. There were two correct answers. The mouth and the head. You look confused, I’ll explain. Being shot in the mouth will allow you, a unicorn, to continue fighting with only mild discomfort. Being shot in the head will end your misery immediately. The leg, the chest, the neck, and the horn all ruin the fun of the hunt. It would be a waste of time to play the game. You would die too easily. Better to either end things fast or to be at your best.” What a chilling explanation.
I think I have her pegged now, though. She’s like Shrill. Acting sweet but she has a hidden side. No, it isn’t that she is acting sweet. She is sweet. But she has a sadistic side as well. Lin lures you in with her kindness and then turns on them.
“Time for question five,” Gremlock says with a smile. “This is one we will ask together. Though, it is less of a question and more of a mini-game within the game. It goes as follows: One of us will tell only lies, the other only truths. The question is: Which of us is a liar? You can ask us one question, but you can only ask it to one of us. To keep things interesting, your question must be related to which of us is the liar. So you aren’t able to ask a simple question with one answer like ‘one plus one’. Ready? Good. The game starts now!”
One lies and one tells the truth and I can’t ask any logical questions, hu? What if i just ask who is lying? No, regardless of who I ask they will just say the other is lying. The liar blames the one telling the truth, while the one telling the truth blames the liar. What about if I ask are you lying? No, that’s not it either. Both would just say no. I take a deep breath and focus. What question should I ask? Should I just...guess? I have a fifty-fifty chance, after all.
“Hey Ratchet, can I ask the question?” Cora says.
“Sure, I’m not sure what to ask. If you think you got it, go for it,” I tell her. She is an AI after all. In the minute or so that has passed, she could have run though countless scenarios. Besides, she wouldn’t ask a question she isn’t sure of.
“Gremlock,” Cora addresses him. “If I asked Lin who the liar is, what would she say?” She asks. Hu? So that’s it? Let’s see. If Lin is the liar, she will say Gremlock. But if she is telling the truth, she will also say Gremlock. Add a layer, and if Lin is a liar and Gremlock is the truthteller, he will say she will say he is a liar. Similarly, if Lin is the truthteller and Gremlock is the liar, Gremlock will say Lin would say Lin is the liar. Meaning…
Gremlock smiles and states, “Lin would say she is the liar.” The moment Gremlock answers with that sentence, he outs himself as the liar! If Lin was the liar, she would never implicate herself. Lin would actually have said Gremlock, but since Gremlock is a liar, he must say she would say her own name!
“Gremlock! You are the liar!” I declare. He chuckles and Lin smiles warmly.
“That is correct! Five in a row, what a surprise!” Gremlock declares. “That hasn’t happened in quite some time, this game must be right up your alley, hu? That question usually gets most ponies who come through. Incidentally, getting that question wrong results in a shot through your torso. Most who get it wrong don’t last to finish question six,” He tells me.
“Time for question six, though,” Lin chimes in. “Let’s not stand around all day, shall we? You are on the bank of a river. With you, is a Manticore, a Brahmin, and an apple. In your presence, nothing will eat the other. If left alone, however, the Manticore will eat the Brahmin and the Brahmin will eat the apple. The Manticore, however, will not eat the apple. You have a raft that can transport you and one other thing across the river at a time. How do you get everything across the river safely?” She asks.
I’m about to start thinking of the answer, when I see movement behind the Gremlins. Two ponies are leaning around the doorway of the employee lounge. Shrill and Cygnus! They’re fine! And all the Gremlins’ attention is on me. If I can keep distracting them, maybe Shrill and Cygnus can find a way to take them out? I see Shrill nod to me before they go back into the lounge.
Now then, let’s buy some time by solving this question. The first move is obvious, you take the Brahmin across. Then the Manticore and apple will be fine. You then go back across the river to get another. But, if you take the apple and leave it with the Brahmin, it will get eaten. Similarly, the Manticore will eat the Brahmin if left alone with it on the other side when you come back for the apple.
That means you will have to bring the Brahmin back at some point. The one you transport across second does not matter. So, “You take the Brahmin across and leave it. Then you take the apple across and get the Brahmin. You then exchange the Manticore for the Brahmin and take the Manticore across the river to the apple. You then leave those two alone and go back for the Brahmin. Once the Brahmin is across, everything is safely on the other side of the river,” I explain.
“Oh? Very good. You were fairly quick on that one,” Lin says with a smile. “Perhaps it was too easy for the sixth question. Well, you still have the seventh question. And if you get it wrong, you die! But it is Grem’s turn, and his questions can get tricky later on. Good luck~” She says in a sing-songy voice.
“You will need it,” Gremlock says with a chuckle. “It is time for the seventh question, the final question! This question is life and death for you, so I hope you are ready. It is fairly long, so I hope you will pay attention and make this interesting because I will not repeat it. I just have one additional rule for this question. Your artificial little friend can’t help. Now then, let’s begin!” He declares.
“There are six ministries that sit in a row, painted six different colors. Each ministry is ruled by one mare. These six mares each drink a different kind of beverage, do a different kind of drug, and own a different pet,” Gremlock explains.
“Twilight Sparkle rules the purple ministry. Applejack owns a dog. Fluttershy drinks milk. The blue ministry is next to and on the left of the orange ministry. The ruler of the blue ministry owns a turtle. The mare who does Mint-als owns an owl. The ruler of the yellow ministry does Stampede. The ruler of the ministry in the center right drinks tequila. Rarity owns the ministry on the right end. The mare who does Party Time Mint-als has her ministry next to the mare’s who owns a rabbit. The mare who owns a cat has her ministry completely opposite from the mare who does Dash. The mare who does Moon Dust drinks Sparkle Cola Quantum. Applejack does Buck. Rarity’s ministry is next to the yellow ministry. The mare who does Party Time Mint-als own the ministry two ministries to the right of the mare who drinks whiskey. The pink ministry is two left of the white ministry. The ministry in the middle left is next to the ministry whose mare owns an alligator,” Gremlock stays, laying out the facts.
“The question is this,” He states, “Which mare drinks vodka? To be clear, the names of all the mares are Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle. Your choice must be one of these six.”
That is a lot of information to take in and I’ve already forgotten the first few details. So that’s it, hu? The difficulty isn’t in the question, but the length of it. Him not repeating himself is proof enough of that. He even made it so Cora can’t help. He must be suspicious that she can remember everything and solve logic questions easily.
His description also seems to match up fairly well with what I know about the Ministry Mares. I know Twilight’s ministry is purple and Applejack owned a dog.Can I assume the colors and animals are what they were before the war? But the drinks and drugs confuse me. I don’t think they did any drugs, and surely all of them drank milk or coffee at some point. Damnit, I’m getting side tracked. Gremlock’s smiling glare isn’t helping my concentration either. Cygnus and Shrill might be the only way out of this.
Speaking of, I catch a hint of movement behind the Gremlins. Shrill has made her way from the lounge and is sneaking up behind the couch Gremlock and Lin are sitting on. Where is Cygnus? What is their plan? She isn’t going to just walk up and stab one, is she? No Gremlins are behind Gremlock and Lin. They are spread across the room behind other pieces of furniture. Shrill keeps creeping closer to the couch.
Lin notices me staring at them and says, “Oh, do you have an answer already? Or are you giving up? I’m not even sure what the answer is.” She shrugs. Cora shifts her weight a bit, focusing it on her rear. What is she doing? Shrill is hovering right behind Gremlock now, her knife floating in her magic.
Shrill winks at me, as if signaling me to do something. Are we going to fight them like this? I clear my throat. “I have my answer. I thought about it, and I think I will go with...Shrill,” I say simply. Gremlock’s face twists into a scowl.
“That isn’t one of the answers, but if you want to waste it, fine. Your answer is,” Gremlock begins, but before he can finish Shrill bring her muzzle to her hear.
“Surprise,” She mutters as she slits his throat. The other Gremlins immediately look over, but at the same time I hear the sound of something metal hitting the floor. I see grenades roll up beside the Gremlins standing furthest from Shrill.
One of them notices and starts to call out, “Shi-” But is cut off as the grenades explode. Lin and the remaining Gremlins turn their attention to different directions. Lin and a few others focus on Shrill, a few remain focused on me, but others look around for the source of the grenades. With their attention diverted, Cora rises onto her rear legs. She turns sideways and spins Raptor Blood around to point at the Gremlins. I fumble and draw Forgiveness as Cygnus comes out of the lounge in full riot gear holding an smg in his mouth.
The next few minutes are chaos. Cora shoots sideways at the Gremlins while I shrink behind her as much as I can and add my bullets into the fray. Cygnus charges towards the closest group of Gremlins, spraying them with his smg all the while. Shrill draws her pistol as she throws her knife into the eye of the closest enemy to her. All the while the Gremlins are returning fire. Lightning flashes outside and the boom of Thunder temporarily covers up the sound of the gunfire.
And just like that, it is over. The floor is covered in blood, the furniture is perforated with bullet holes, and not a single Gremlin is left standing. I'm not even sure if I landed a single hit on anyone. Cygnus’s armor protected him for the most part, but Shrill and I took multiple hits. She finishes off the remaining medical supplies she has while I chug a healing potion and toss Cygnus a roll of bandages.
“That could have gone better,” I mutter. “How was the tunnel through the rooms?” I ask them.
Cygnus carefully wraps the bandages around his leg and answers me with them still in his mouth. “Like you said, they trapped it. That’s what took us so long. We didn’t run into anyone though. Seems they though the traps were hidden well enough,” Cygnus tells me.
“I see. Well, better late than never. So, Shrill. From what you were saying about the Gremlins, I doubt this is all of them. I take it more are still outside?” I ask her.
She nods. “They probably got caught in the storm and took shelter in a building. At the rate it is coming down out there, we’ll be here for a few more hours. I suppose we will have to deal with the remaining Gremlins, right Ratchet?” She asks.
“Yea. Especially those two that saw us and left after leading us here. We don’t want Grimoire or his army knowing we were here. I also don’t want to leave the Gremlins to keep attacking ponies. So, for now, I suppose we should loot and tend to our wounds,” I declare.
I finish helping Cygnus wrap his wound and then we begin looting as we wait for the storm to let up.
===~+~===
Quest Completed - Smile!
Quest Updated - The Chaos Crusade: Wait for more information on Grimoire & Discordia
New Quest:
-Savior
Current Objective: Talk to Gunsmoke in Ponyville
Level Up!
+15 Small Guns
+10 Speech
+5 Medicine