//------------------------------// // Episode 2: On Strike! // Story: Awkward surgeons // by ThePonyOfEntertainment //------------------------------// Episode 2: On Strike! In an alternate universe, somewhere out there, Derpy is actually a surgeon... Well a shitty surgeon. After being dropped on the head as a foal, the surgeon that patched her up, also known as Alpha Cure Mom.... Yup some pretty weird name huh.. Well back to the story, He patched her up (Super glued her skull back intact). That's probably why shes retarded, Anywho.... Derpy is now a hobo that pretends to be a surgeon and actually gets away with it! Surprising but she actually gets paid at a minimum wage without the other ponies knowing about her uneducation. Follow up On a "nice" Tuesday, Derpy's sister, Retarded, had recently choked on a BBC... Yup... A big bar of chocolate. What did you think "BBC" stood for... Pervert! Well, back to the story, Retarded's brain somehow shutdown due to the "BBC" Now Derpy must fulfill her destiny and save her older sister by performing a Brain Transplant! But will Derpy save her beloved sister?! We shall find out on Awkward Surgeon Ball Z! Dandelion Hospital Derpy had sobbed in tears! She had been thinking about her sister, but it wasn't her sister Retarded, it was her sister,Moron! Derpy had been concerned whether Moron would cook either lasagna or calzone that night. Derpy stayed flat on her chair, looking at Cookie Clicker, thinking to herself that it was definetly going to be calzone that night! Out of a sudden, Doctor Slieza had pounced his way into Derpy's office. He then asked her "Are you going to be alright?" Derpy looked up to him with sorrow in her face and followed up with a "Yeah, its just that Moron's lasagna taste like shit!" Slieza had stared at Derpy for a while, he then replied "Oh.. I was talking about Retarded..." Derpy looked at Slieza and put into words "Well, our you ready to do this brain transplant." Doctor Slieza looked down at Derpy's filthy office room and whispered "I was born when I was ready!" After the meek conversation, Derpy and Slieza had slogged their way to patient room 420. Derpy saw Retarded with saliva pouring out of her lower lip. Retarded could no longer move as of now due to her brain being all screwed up. Sunny than had made a sudden appearance in the room, shutting the curtains so no one would be able to see the procedure. Doctor Slieza than listed the steps as the following "Okay, first we gotta use a kitchen knife to chop the scalp off..... Then I'll take the scalp home and feed it to my cat... I mean whuh! Sunny asked Doctor Slieza with a curious tone "Did you just say you were gonna feed your dog the scalp?" Slieza replied very fast, accidentally stuttering "No, I said, I wa- was gonna feed it to my ca- NOTHING!" After Sunny was done questioning Slieza like an annoying bitch, Doctor Jaflabaragastafagarusafamama-head doctor of Dandelion Hospital-Held a clipboard in his hoof and slightly pushed his head through the curtains just enough to get the attention of Derpy. Doctor Jaflabaragastafagarusafamama sternly said "Derpy, get over here" Derpy didnt reply and nervously followed Jaflabaragastafagarusafamama to the parkway, outside of Dandelion Hospital. Doctor Jaflabaragastafagarusafamama pulled out a tablet from the back of his white, doctor coat. He then powered it on and showed Derpy footage of her performing the arm amputation! With his face getting angrily red, he screamed "What the hell were you doing!" He then showed her all of the footage, footage like Derpy knocking Alpha Cure Dad the f##k out, and when Derpy held a scalpel towards Sunny Glimmer's neck! He then screamed "Dumbass! When you threatened to kill Sunny, you pinned her on the wall! Making a large head indentation on the wall! I may be a head doctor, but I aint paying for repairs! You were doing good, did anesthesia correctly, almost everything was smooth! UNTIL YOU MADE A BUMP ON MY WALL!" Derpy than formentioned "I'm pretty low on bits, so I'll just give you leftovers of what my sister makes for tonight!" Jaflabaragastafagarusafamama screamed like a beast "You're fired, GET THE F##K OUT OF HERE! Derpy focused straightly at doctor Jaflabaragastafagarusafamama, she then wailed "I WOULD FLICK YOU OFF BUT I DON'T HAVE A MIDDLEFINGER!" Jaflababaragastafagarusafamamama looked at Derpy in a naïve way and strided to the door, where he shut himself inside of Dandelion Hospital. Derpy thought to herself "Well, back to dumpster diving!" Day Later on the Streets Derpy had waken up from her icky cardboard box and had stepped out where she could see the beautiful sunlight. She trotted towards Dandelion Hospital and caught a glimpse of a strange pony walking into the the hospital. After the entry of the mysterious pony, Slieza had came out of the transparent, double doors to break the news to Derpy. He said with a depressed voice, "You saw that unicorn that just walked in, that's your replacement! She doesn't believe in the power of kitchen knives ,therefor I despise her! If we make a team, we can get your job back!' Derpy had agreed with glee, and had asked "Oh yeah! How's my sister, Retarded?" Slieza than answered Derpy's question with a "Yeah, turns out she had no brain in the first place, so all we had to do was just put the brain inside of her!" Slieza than formentioned with a "Besides that, I know how we can get your job back! I know some pony that is a malicious hacker! You know what I mean, he can give people virus's and hack them! His name is Joey STD, he hacks you with a knife full of his blood and gives you a virus! Derpy than responded normally "Oh, I know that pony! He has a bad case of herpes on his hoof!" Derpy had than got back on topic "Well, I've got a better idea! Kidnap her than ship her to Phillydelphia Doctor Slieza was startled to hear such an exciting idea and finally said "Alrighty! Ima chop her ass with a kitchen knife and when she's hurt ima put her in a medicine cabinet. Then later at night we can bring her and ship her to Phillydelphia!" Then suddenly, out of the shadows came a zebra. Her name was Zecora she had atleast stated, and had screamed in agonizing pain! She had explained "I got duh supah aids from dah unicone in dere mon, her name is "Bobby" at least she thought you into tinking dat mon! Her real name izz duh wun and only "BITCH" which stands foe "Babe in Total Control of Herself. Pleass mon, don ask me how I got supah aids.. Izz kinda embarrassing mon! Not even my voodoo and shit couldn't make duh supah aids go away mon! I got another plan foe you peopoe, We are gonna ship her to Phillydelphia mon!" Doctor Slieza than responded faster than lighting "That's a great idea, I have a whole jacket full of kitchen utensils I took from my wife after I killed her cheating ass.... *Cough* What! I meant that I have kitchen utensils that can be helpful! Doctor Slieza looked nervous after telling a very deep secret and look at the ground and stared deeply at a crack remembering his wives cheating ass... Derpy with red growing on her face said in a furious tone "You stole my damn idea you bitch!" Zecora grinned at Derpy than put into words "Thanks foe dah compliment yah ho! Yah mudda was a baitfish mon! Now quickly lets go back to my hut and discuss this with comfort" The trio than trotted through the city into the muddy forest where there hooves got filthier than Zecora's aids! They had finally made it back to the hut successfully and was greeted by a very complex map that was put down on a stump of a tree Zecora calls a "table" The three ponies gathered around the table and had glared strongly at the map. Zecora had responded fast with actions "Oh wait, this is my map for breaking into the "Mare and Colts Adult Superstore" oh buddy, and let me tell you they got some good stuff in there... Anywho, this is the real map. Zecora pulled out a piece of blank paper and started writing with a pen she made using Big Mac's semen as ink. She had stated that she could use her trippy voodoo shit and teleport Doctor Slieva into the hospital, right behind "BITCH" She then formentioned that doctor Slieza than would use one of the utensils for the pacification of "BITCH" Slieza pulled out his trusty kitchen knife with blood on it and put into nervous words "Umm... I killed my cheating wife with this knife... Just incase you were wondering why I had blood on it... Umm.. I mean, I shanked a guy when he tried to steal my apple..! Zecora looked into Derpy's weirdo eyes and explained "Den I gonna teleport Slieza and "BITCH" to me and Derpy! We is gonna put her in the crate we brought to dah hospital and load her in dere mon! Den aftah dat, we gonna ship her ass to Phillydelphia! Now lets go, cmon!" The team rushed with the best ski masks Derpy had available. Slieza had been carrying the crate all the way through to journey to Dandelion Hospital. Zecora looked behind her and saw Doctor Slieza showing his muscles whilst carrying the crate, Zecora had moaned "Mmm! Datz hot mon!" Finally the team of insane ponies had made it to the hospital. They initiated their plan in order of the following: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | 1.Teleport Slieza to pacify "BITCH" | 2.Teleport both of them back to the group to pack "BITCH" in the crate. | 3.Run as fast as they can before the authorities came. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Slieza and Derpy curtled the crate containing the passed out body of "BITCH" The trio ran for the life before hearing the police pursuing the area of the crime scene. Slieza started to shed tears and wailed "I'm to young to die!" (Even thoughs hes 58 years old!) The swat team of ponies charged at the criminals. One of the swat ponies through a tear gas grenade, Zecora, being the only brave pony charged a Kamehameha with her voodoo stuff. Slieza had accidentally dropped the crate in fear of getting caught, to bad the crate was in the launch way of the Kamehameha! "BITCH" had than waken up from her forced slumber, she popped out of the crate and looked confused to see the almost concealed face of Zecora. Zecora screamed a loud scream "Remember me?!" and finally blasted the Kamehameha in the path of "BITCH" and the swat ponies! A thick smoke had emerged from the aftermath of the powerful spell. Zecora was no where to be seen, and randomly, Slieza and Derpy spotted Sunny Glimmer walking home with a so frightened face. Derpy waved at Sunny and said in a friendly tone "Wassup Tofu!" Sunny minded her own business and secretly whispered to herself "My name is not tofu..!" Aftermath: Derpy finally got her job back after murdering "BITCH" and Doctor Jaflabaragastafagarusafamama masturbated in his tub of Benjamin Franklins! (Doctor Jaflabaragastafagarusafamama is a rich bastard..)