"I have to say Starlight, I'm very impressed." Twilight began over dinner. "You handled yourself exceptionally well today."
"I got mad and yelled. I stormed out without any real explanation." Starlight pointed out as she pushed her food around her plate.
"Well, yes." Twilight conceded. "But you were dealing with Discord. The only pony that can really tolerate him for extended periods is Fluttershy. And maybe Princess Celestia, but I can't figure out why. The point is that you could have gone any number of ways with how you handled the situation. You chose an option that didn't escalate the conflict. That's something to be proud of."
"I guess you're right." Starlight Glimmer smiled lightly. "Thanks Twilight."
Starlight Glimmer felt rejuvenated. Last night's talk with Twilight had really helped clear her head of the worries that frequently piled up. She enjoyed the warm sunlight as she walked to Ponyville's market. Even the looks that she often perceived as staring seemed minor as she walked.
Starlight didn't plan on being out for long, though. She'd made an appointment at the spa with Rarity. She was just picking up a few things for dinner. Spike would have done it himself, but Twilight asked his help in reorganizing a section of her library. Spike was clearly less than enthusiastic, but had agreed to help anyway.
"Mornin' Miss Glimmer." A deep voice said nearby, pulling Starlight's head from the clouds.
"Oh, good morning. Doing well, Big McIntosh?" Starlight replied to the large stallion who'd trotted up next to her.
"Eeyup." Came Big Mac's reply.
"What are you doing in the market? Isn't that normally Applejack's side of things?"
"Eeyup. AJ's hurt her knee applebuckin'. Doc says she's gotta stay off her legs for a few days."
"Oh, I hope hope she's okay."
"She'll be right as rain soon enough." Big Mac reassured.
"Well that's good. Tell your sister hi for me, okay?"
"Eeyup." Big Mac smiled before tossing a bright red apple to Starlight. "Here. You look like you could use one o' these."
"Oh, thank you." Starlight said, bewildered. "How much do I owe you?"
"No charge. Just tryin' ta be nice today." Big Mac grinned warmly.
Starlight Glimmer was a bit spacey later that day. Even now at the spa, she found her mind drifting away as Rarity held a clearly one-sided conversation. Her mind kept wandering back to Big Macintosh and her exchange with him earlier that day.
"... and then she had the nerve to say that the colors I was using in my design were tacky. The nerve of Suri! She wouldn't know good fashion if it walked up behind her and bit her in the- Is everything all right, darling?" Rarity interrupted herself, giving Starlight a worried look. "You look as if something's bothering you."
Starlight blinked a few times before staring blankly at Rarity.
"I- huh?" Starlight eloquently replied.
"You look as if you've got something on your mind. Care to talk about it?" Rarity shifted slightly, careful not to interfere with Lotus' work on the hooficure Rarity was in the midst of receiving.
"Oh, no. It's nothing, really. I'm just not all there today." Starlight deflected.
"Does this have something to do with your spat with Discord yesterday? Fluttershy said you two were butting heads."
"You know about that?" Starlight winced slightly at the thought of everypony she knew knowing about her outburst.
"Oh, of course darling. There's no secrets between myself and Fluttershy." Rarity smiled. "Not to worry though. Anything you say to me will be held in the strictest confidentiality."
"I wan't thinking about that, actually." Starlight admitted. "I was thinking about... something else."
Rarity raised an eyebrow, a sudden intrigue creeping into her features.
"I know that look. I've had it on my face a few times in the past. Tell me, who is he?" Rarity rolled onto her side, giving a brief apology at Lotus' light 'tut' of disapproval in Rarity's sudden movement.
"Who is who?" Starlight asked back.
"The stallion on your mind, dear. I can see it plain as day that you're thinking of somepony. Is it that Doctor Whooves fellow? He seems right up your alley, if I do say so myself."
"Who? No. I was just thinking about a conversation I had with Big McIntosh earlier." Starlight replied.
"Applejack's brother?! Oh, you simply must tell me everything!" Rarity gushed. "How long have you been thinking about Big Mac like this? Does he feel the same way? Oooh, this is so exciting!"
"I- no. Rarity, it's nothing like that. I just kinda noticed that he seemed to be acting nicer than usual today. He even gave me a free apple. I was wondering, is he like that with other mares?" Starlight looked to her friend for answers.
"Well, not that I know of. I mean there were rumors he and Miss Cheerilee the school teacher were seeing each other for some time, but I don't know what ever became of that. As far as I know he doesn't seem to have his eye on anypony special if that's what you're asking."
"No. I don't have any feelings like that for Big McIntosh. I was worried he had them for me." Starlight furrowed her brow.
Aloe, the spa pony that was giving Starlight a hooficure, gasped lightly. She blushed furiously as Starlight Glimmer and Rarity both looked in her direction.
"What is it, Aloe?" Rarity asked. "Are you all right?"
"It is nothing," Aloe replied, her blush deepening enough to give her pink face a magenta hue. "I just nicked my hoof a little bit."
Rarity frowned lightly at Aloe, but decided to put that conversation on the back-burner for a bit.
"Would it be so bad if he did, darling? Even I must admit he is a handsome stallion." Rarity said coyly.
"I'm not arguing that," Starlight stated. "But I don't feel any sort of romantic feelings towards him just because he looks handsome."
"Then what ever is the problem?" Rarity asked, slightly insulted at Starlight's unintentional jab at Rarity's own tastes.
~~~
"I don't want to hurt his feelings." Starlight said in the mud baths after a prolonged period of silence. "Big McIntosh is a good stallion. Hard working, loyal, kind. He deserves a good mare who will treat him nicely. Even if I were interested in him, I wouldn't be that kind of mare. I worry that if he does have some sort of feelings for me then he shouldn't."
"Hmm..." Rarity rubbed her chin with her only clean hoof. "That is quite a predicament. Are we certain he has feelings for you though?"
"You said so yourself that you've never seen him act like that with any other mares." Starlight pointed out.
"That is true. Stallions can be quite simple like that when it comes to matters of the heart." Rarity conceded. "The real question is how to let him know that you don't view him in a romantic light without hurting his pride." Rarity pouted slightly. "Stallions take their pride too seriously, if you ask me though."
Starlight Glimmer groaned and rubbed her face, unintentionally coating it with mud in the process. Why did stallions have to be so complicated and simple at the same time?
"Why me?" Starlight said into her hooves.
"Why not you, dear?" Rarity retorted. "You're intelligent, pretty, you've proven you've got enough magical ability to fight Twilight Sparkle to a standstill. If anything it's a surprise you don't have more suitors." Was it just Starlight or was there the slightest hint of jealousy in Rarity's voice?
~~~
"That's just it, though." Starlight said, breaking the silence between herself and Rarity that had settled over them during the mud bath. "If Big McIntosh knows what I did, why would he have feelings for me?"
"What ever do you mean?" Rarity asked dreamily. The mare was currently being gently massaged into a near-comatose state by Lotus' masterful hooves. At this point, she was practically putty in the mare's hooves.
"I've done terrible things. Things that most ponies would condemn me for. So why would a stallion who might know about that stuff have any interest in me?" Starlight asked pointedly.
Aloe was having a decidedly more difficult time of getting Starlight Glimmer to a putty-state, which was made clear by the look of frustration etched into her normally peaceful face.
"You carry much stress in your back." Aloe grunted lightly. "Please try to relax."
"Sorry, Aloe." Starlight took a deep breath and exhaled. She didn't loosen up in the slightest. "What if he tells Applejack how he feels? What if Applejack supports it? What if he's looking for something serious?!" Starlight felt herself starting to slip into her familiar spiraling patterns. Even so, she felt like an outsider, watching her body slip away into a torrent of worry and doubt.
"Mmmm...." Rarity hummed with eyes shut. "Don't worry about it, darling. You'll just end up with wrinkles."
"Can I say something?" Another voice interjected nearby. Starlight Glimmer looked in the direction of the voice and was shocked to see Tree Hugger giving a massage to a startlingly muscular white pegasus stallion.
"Tree Hugger? What are you doing here?" Starlight asked in shock.
"I like to help other ponies reach nirvana wherever I can. Plus I need the bits for a train ticket when I leave in a few days." Tree Hugger answered before changing the subject back to the original topic. "If you don't have feelings for Big McIntosh, let him know. Sadness is part of the Great Wheel we call life. He'll feel bummed out for a bit, but that's not so bad. Life is so much better with sad moments to make the happy ones brighter, you know?"
"I never thought about it like that." Starlight admitted slowly.
"Like, we're all just going with the flow. Life's like a big river. Lots of time there's a calm current, but every river's got its own rapids." Tree Hugger breathed deeply. "Sometimes we just need to swim into them."
Starlight furrowed her brow, fairly certain she got the general idea of what Tree Hugger was saying. Maybe.
Starlight Glimmer caught up to Big Mac as he finished packing up his apple cart. Having dropped off and totally not ditched Rarity after their spa day, Starlight Glimmer decided that Tree Hugger's advice warranted an attempt. At the very least it would avoid any awkwardness later on between herself and Big McIntosh. She'd found Big Mac just as the sun had begun to set.
"Big McIntosh, do you have a moment to talk?" Starlight asked, steeling herself for the upcoming conversation.
"Eeyup."
"Listen, I..." Starlight hesitated to begin. She took a deep breath and exhaled before continuing. "I just wanted to clear things up between us. I don't think we'd be right for each other. You're a good stallion, and you deserve somepony better than me. I'm sorry, but I just can't return your feelings."
"Beg pardon?" Big Mac tilted his head in confusion.
"I just think you'd be better off with a mare who could be there for you. I don't think I'm that mare." Starlight flattened her ears, silently berating herself for breaking Big Mac's heart.
"Miss Glimmer, I don' know what you've been hearing, but ah think there's been some confusion." Big Mac said with a straight face. "I ain't been tryin' to court you at all."
"Huh?" Starlight's eyes widened in a mixture of shock and humiliation.
"Applejack's been talkin' about how you been kinda down since you moved to Ponyville. Ah thought that you could use another friend is all. AJ's been saying you could use a few more friends to make you feel welcome." Big McIntosh frowned slightly. "Ah didn't mean for you to get the wrong impression."
"Oh. I-I-I'm so sorry! It's just that you're the only stallion that has showed any interest in talking to me, and there's a bunch of mares who've been saying you're single, and now I'm just making it worse by saying all this." Starlight rambled.
Big McIntosh couldn't help but smile.
"Miss Glimmer, you don't got nothing to be embarrassed about." Big Mac reassured. "We all go makin' fools of ourselves once in a while. Ain't nothin' wrong with gettin' the wrong impression so long as nopony gets hurt." Big Mac nodded for emphasis. "I know I've made a plum fool of myself more 'n once."
"I- Thank you, Big Mac. I'm sorry for..." Starlight waved a hoof around, indicating the awkward moment occurring between them. "this."
"Nothin' to be sorry for." Big Mac emphasized. "Now, if you don't mind me askin'," Big Mac smiled slyly. "What mares have been talkin' about me?"