Chapter 31--Knighthood
The next day, I was waken up much earlier than I would have liked because apparently there was a bunch of preparations that needed to be done for the knighting ceremony. Most of these preparations included cleaning me and making sure I knew what I was supposed to do during the ceremony. After all that, it was finally time for the ceremony itself.
I was standing outside the door to the ceremony room the waiting the signal for me to enter. When the royal fanfare started, I knew that Celestia and Luna were entering at the front of the room and when it died down, they would say a few words about me and then a new set of fanfare would start and that was my cue to throw open the giant doors and waltz down the aisle towards them. Well, not actually waltz because that would be rather difficult to do with all this fucking armor and being a fucking pony… Also not actually throwing open the doors because apparently that was the guards’ job and they wouldn’t let me do it. I never get to have any fun anymore.
Anyways, the royal fanfare died down and the Celestia began to present me. “Fillies and gentlecolts,” she said, “thank you all for attending this momentous occasion. It has been many years since we have had the honor of presenting a new knight to join the ranks of our royal guard, And it has been many years more since such a knight has been welcomed into the Umbral ranks. So without further ado, we present Síor.”
The fanfare resumed and the doors opened for me to begin my graceful walk. As I approached the front of the room, the fanfare reached a peak and ended with a flourish. “Síor,” Celestia said. “Do you swear to pledge your life to serve your country, her leader, and her people?” Not technically my country, but sure.
“To protect the weak and defenseless?” said Luna. Apparently because this was an Umbral knighting they had to share the lines.
“To give succour to widows and orphans?” Are widows and orphans even allowed to exist in Happy-time Ponyland.
“To refrain from the wanton giving of offense?” Eh, no promises there.
“To live by honor and for glory?” Glory, sure. Honor, maybe.
“To despise pecuniary reward?” Not likely.
“To fight for the welfare of all.” Something about the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few or whatever.
“To obey those placed in authority?” Placed in? More like usurped.
“To guard and honor your fellow knights?” Now that I can actually agree with.
“To eschew unfairness, meanness, and deceit?” Except when necessary.
“To at all times speak the truth?” Unless I need to lie. Which could happen often.
“To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun?” I already try to do that but often get distracted…
“To respect the honor of all females?” Well, yes, but the wording of that kinda doesn’t fit the ceremonial vibe. But props for not being racist I guess…
“To never refuse a challenge from an equal?” So always refuse a challenge because everyone is below me? Got it.
“And to never turn your back on a foe?” Well, duh! They’d likely stab my back if I turned it to them.
Oh this is my line. “I do.” I know, great line, right?
“Then by our powers as Royal Princesses of the Kingdom of Equestria, we name thee Sir Síor of the Umbral Knights.” Celestia said this part as she walked up to me and dubbed me with her horn followed by Luna doing the same. After that the fanfare resumed as I walked majestically back down the aisle and to Lisbeth’s shop to get my insignia.
“Greetings Sir Síor,” Lisbeth said as I entered her shop. “How was the ceremony?”
“Eh, fine, I guess. Had to pledge my life to things I don’t exactly agree with but whatever. Also can you not with the ‘Sir’ thing?”
“But you are a knight now. It is customary to greet you as ‘Sir.’”
“Yeah, It’s also customary for me to ‘eschew unfairness, meanness, and deceit’ but if you don’t stop then I may be forced to break that rule.”
“Point taken. Anyways, I assume you have come to get your insignia emblazoned on your armor?”
“Yeah so how’s this work?”
“It’s simple really. You tell me what you want the symbol to be--a picture would help--and then I shape an enchanted branding iron into the shape and stamp it onto your shoulder plates. I just need to know what the insignia will be.”
“You got paper, quill, and ink?” She provided the material and I went to work drawing the symbol that I would best represent me and, even more so, humanity as a whole. I began with a circle and a square crossing over each other. I then began adding a foot here, a hand there, a head, a body, some limbs to connect it all and by the time I was done, it looked like a not-too-shabby recreation of Leonardo Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man.
“Interesting. This could take me a bit of time to make the branding iron to the right shape but if you’d like you can come back tomorrow morning and I should have it ready.”
“Sounds good, I gotta go meet the rest of the Umbral knights anyways.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Um, no actually.”
“There hasn’t been an Umbral night in over 100 years.”
“And I thought ponies lived to be like 1000, so what’s the problem?”
“Well, living a normal and safe life, ponies do live to be 1000. However, life as a knight tends to be dangerous. The last Umbral knight died in battle about 135 years ago.”
“So you’re saying I’m the only Umbral alive?”
“Yeah, basically.”
“Huh, well, I guess I’ll go see if Celestia wants me to do anything.”
“You mean Princess Celestia.”
“I mean shut the fuck up before I fuck you up.”
“Whatever.”
I left to go find Sunbutt. She was in her throne room as usual. “‘Sup Sunbutt,” I said when I found her.
“Greetings Sir Síor.”
“Oh, not you too. Can we just not do the whole ‘Sir” thing? You know how I am with formalities.”
“Very well. What did you need?”
“Just wondering what to do while I’m waiting for Lisbeth to get done making the branding iron for my insignia.”
“How long did she say it would take?”
“She said she’d have it done by tomorrow morning.”
“Well in that case, there is something I’d like you to do.”
“Name it.”
“Some of my knights have discovered a mysterious building in the Everfree Forest that I’d like you to investigate. I want you to assemble a team of six, including yourself to explore this building.”
“Me, Qene, Pyra, Doctor, Zecora, and Fancypants.”
“That was fast.”
“I sort people by trustworthiness as I meet them and those are the people at the top of my list aside from a couple I skipped over for various reasons.”
I see, well here’s a map to get to the building.” She floated the map to me. “Feel free to explore it whenever you’re ready.