My job as a legal advisor to Celestia extends quite a bit beyond merely court business. As an advisor, I can, and have, represented Celestia in any and all matters relating to the law. I serve as a second judge during trials. I assist in highlighting case law and making precedent. I sometimes even find myself dispatched out beyond the castle and Canterlot to appear in places on Celestia’s behalf. One of the more recent of these ‘day trips’, as I call them, saw me making a name for myself as something of a pony hunter.
You see, when there is a major criminal incident sufficient enough to draw the attention of Celestia herself, I will often be sent out to act as a point of contact between the local law enforcement and the government. I also, of course, often have to help ponies out in situations such as this. In effect, I have been, at times, something along the lines of a marshal.
Equestria does suffer from crime, though not as seriously as my own country did. As such, the seriousness of various offences is often inflated in Equestria, being treated much more seriously than most humans would treat them. A great example of this was the case of Troubleshoes. For a while, he was one of the most wanted ponies in Equestria. His crime? Damaging and disrupting shows all over Equestria’s rodeo circuit. It was my job to prosecute him.
It was a good month or so after I had last been down to Tartarus. King Sombra had not requested to see me since our first meeting. The incident still had me and Celestia puzzled. As for the rest of my new duties, I was beginning to find it less stressful. The wife initially wasn’t happy about it. In fact, she almost threw me out of the house, demanding that I not go through with it. Luckily, I was eventually, with a little help from Twilight, able to convince her that I would be safe, and would never do anything that put myself in harm's way.
I mean, let’s face it; Tartarus may be Equestria’s version of Hell, but it is quite a nice place. It was a far cry from places like Long Kesh, God knows I’d seen enough of that place to last me a lifetime. As a result, she eventually accepted the idea. Though of course, she still demanded that I be careful.
It was while I was in high spirits from this reconciliation that I was interrupted by Buttercup, one of the bailiffs from the court. He served as a messenger for Celestia whilst she was busy dealing with petitioners. The earth pony guard knocked on my half open door before coming in and setting a file on my desk.
“We’ve got him! We’ve got the Celestia damned son of a diamond dog!” he exclaimed excitedly, tapping the file on my desk with a hoof.
“Who?” I asked perplexedly, opening the file. The moment I saw the name, my eyes went wide. “No way. Are we sure it’s him?” Buttercup’s smile grew even more.
“Yes sir, we checked and double checked. It’s Troubleshoes himself!” I leaned back in my chair for a moment.
Aside from Starlight Glimmer, Troubleshoes was one of the major ponies on my radar. He wasn’t nearly as much a threat though. His crimes amounted to little more than destruction of property really. But for whatever reason, the stallion had been working his way around Equestria’s rodeo circuit (which is the same as back on Earth, only with no humans riding the ponies), and causing absolute mayhem; damaging stands, toppling hay bales, flooding the ring, and even ruining some of the acts and injuring a few ponies. As such, word had gone down that was to be brought in to Canterlot to stand trial.
But Troubleshoes had proved very elusive. He was always one step ahead of the Royal Guard and anypony else who tried to catch him. By the time we heard he was in a town, he’d either moved on, or already struck. It was now starting to affect the rodeos that were still to come, with many being cancelled. That included the one in Ponyville, much to Applejack’s and my son’s annoyance.
Now though, we had him. Reading the report from the guards involved, they’d picked him up in Whinnyappolis. I suppose he was trying to head north, maybe cross the border into the Crystal Empire. Protectorate or not, extradition in such a liberal state was no easy task. The guards had found him holed up in a local hotel. They’d made a move to grab him, but the blighter had taken off running. Luckily, the guard had used their numbers well, and set up a perimeter. Troubleshoes ended up running right into the trap.
He was quickly caught, arrested and clapped in irons. He was slated to be brought up to Canterlot tomorrow by wagon. Apparently, they couldn’t use a chariot; the earth pony stallion was simply too heavy. A fair enough excuse; the guy is a little bigger than Celestia, putting ponies like Big Macintosh to shame. It was amazing they’d actually managed to hold him down. Closing the file, I looked to Buttercup.
“This is great news. Inform the princess that I’ll begin writing up the indictment immediately. I should be ready for trial by Friday.” Buttercup quickly nodded and headed back to the throne room. This would be a major case and I needed it to be watertight as a mermaid’s brazier. This beggar had slipped through our hands, or hooves, too many times for me to lose him now.
The next day was Wednesday. I’d spent the whole time after Buttercup left working on putting a case together. Collecting all the evidence reports, witness statements; everything pointed to Troubleshoes. The guy was a guilty as Rainbow had been; only this time we could prove it. We were expecting him to be brought in at around four in the afternoon. It is quite a way from here to Whinnyappolis after all, especially by ground transport. He would then be taken to the dungeons downstairs and locked up until trial.
I jotted a note down on a post it note. We would need quite few extra guards for the trial, just to be on the safe side. I’d have to head to see Shining when I got the chance. Glancing at it, I chuckled at my terrible handwriting. I should have been a doctor according to the wife. Nopony can read my scrawl but me. Given my position, I think that’s quite useful. Hey, that’s what happens when you force a left handed boy to write right handed.
Unfortunately, all my work on the case was to go in vain. Everything was filed together, signed, and dated. It was all ready to be handed to Celestia for her to read to fill her in on the finer points of the case. And then Buttercup came in, this time looking absolutely miserable.
“Ah, Buttercup,” I said as he walked in, too busy to notice his demeanour. “I’ve just finished up the file for the princess. Can you do me a favour and take this to her? I need to go send a letter to Captain Shining Armor. We’re gonna need a few more guys like you if we’re going to have Troubleshoes in the palace.” Buttercup however, shook his head.
“That isn’t going to happen I’m afraid, sir,” he said sadly. I immediately stopped what I was doing.
“What? What do you mean?” Buttercup sighed.
“There’s been an accident, sir. The wagon carrying Troubleshoes went over in a mudslide. The recent rain must have caused it. Wagon and all went over into a ravine.” I was almost speechless.
“What about the guards pulling it?” I almost whispered. Buttercup nodded.
“They were lucky. Both of them managed to get loose of their harness. The wagon went over though, drowned in mud.” Then though, a thought occurred to me.
“What about Troubleshoes?” I asked. Buttercup blinked.
“I just told you, the wagon went over and got drowned in the mud.” I nodded and waved my hand
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. Did they actually find him though? Did they find his body?”
“Well no, sir,” Buttercup replied. “He’s gotta be dead though. Nopony could survive that mess.” I frowned. This was Troubleshoes. He’d gotten out of messes before. If Celestia was going to tell the rodeo big wigs that they no longer had to worry, I wanted to be sure first. I turned back to Buttercup.
“Is the princess busy right now?” I asked. Buttercup shook his head. “Good, I want to run something by her.” Then, without further explanation, I left my office and headed for the throne room.
“I need to head down there right away,” I said, addressing Celestia on her throne. She was deeply saddened by the apparent death of Troubleshoes. Even as a wanted pony, she still cared deeply for him, as she did for everypony in Equestria. It is amazing how much of a mother figure she can be at times.
“I’ve heard the reports myself, my loyal advisor. I fear that there is nothing you could really do. Even if he somehow survived, he would have been carried away by the river at the bottom of the ravine.” I frowned. I needed to get out there, just to put any doubts to rest.
“I just want to be sure, your highness. We’ve been pursuing Troubleshoes for months. I don’t want to run the risk of having him pop up alive and well after we told the rodeo owners everything was alright.” Celestia began to consider my request, her face settling on her ‘deciding’ mask. “Please, it will take a couple of hours at most. A few guards to help dredge the river bed. And we can at least give him a proper ceremony.” This seemed to sway Celestia.
“Very well then. I can respect your reasons. Take Captain Strong Shield with you. He will help coordinate the guards that are already at the ravine.”
“Yes, your highness,” I replied, bowing. I then took my leave.
Strong Shield is one of several guards I know well. He used to be a guard full time, but in the aftermath of the changeling incursion was transferred to training up new recruits. I am actually one of a select few to know his true nature. The unicorn stallion is actually a changeling himself, a former agent that turned to our side during the wedding. He still has some issues regarding that, which was why he was taken off regular duty. My son is friendly with him too. When Twilight taught him a few spells, she enlisted the guardsman to help teach him a bit of self-defence. After a frosty start, the captain warmed up to my boy and the two stayed friends, even after it was revealed who and what he was.
Long story short; he is a good guy to have your back. He’s a damned good fighter, he’s smart and a talented ‘unicorn’ when it comes to magic. In short, he’s an all-round good soldier. He would certainly make it easier to work with other guards. I headed down to the Royal Guard barracks, which was where he could usually be found.
Passing Shining’s office, which was currently empty as he was up north for the week, I began searching for the disguised changeling. All I had to do was follow the shouting.
Heading outside into the courtyard, I found myself near a guard obstacle course. A whole bunch of them were going through the course as a part of their training. Strong Shield was perched atop a ladder type obstacle, forcing an orange pegasus guard to get on.
“Come on, whelp, get up here! Come on, you’re too slow!” he bellowed. The orange pegasus continued to struggle, glancing down at the ground some ten feet below every now and then. “You climb obstacles like old ponies rut; did you know that, Sentry?” Ah yes, the old sergeant major, it suited Strong Shield down to the ground. He quickly picked up on Sentry’s nervousness.
“Flash Sentry, whatever you do, don’t fall down! That would break my bucking heart!” Finally, the pegasus reached the top, now he had to climb over the top and go back down on the other side.
“Come on, Sentry! Up and over, up and over!” Unfortunately, the pegasus seemed unable to move. Like all the other pegasi running the course, his wings had been bound to prevent their use, which would make the exercise easier. “What they buck are you waiting for, Sentry?” Get up and over!” Sentry still didn’t move.
“Are you quitting on me? Well are you?” Strong Shield bellowed. Sentry still made no response; frozen to the spot. A fear of heights maybe, without his wings to save him? Strong Shield quickly ran out of patience.
“Then quit you miserable load of changeling gunk! Get the buck off of my obstacle! Get the buck down off of my obstacle! Now!” Sentry, with his tail between his legs, began to descend. “I’m gonna rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of Equestria! I will motivate you, Flash Sentry, even if it short dicks every cannibal in Zebrica! Move!” And with that, the pegasus reached the bottom and ran off to the next obstacle. Strong Shield spotted me and he looked up and quickly trotted over.
“Well, Mr. Owen, this is a surprise,” he said, his friendly attitude a stark contrast to moments before.
“How do, Captain,” I returned warmly. “I’ve come to ask a favour of you. How would you fancy coming down to that ravine with me? I’ve been asked by the princess to go and confirm that Troubleshoes is out for the count.” Strong Shield barked out a laugh.
“Sure. My throat is starting to pack up a bit, I suppose,” he said jokingly. “But, me specifically?” I nodded.
“This princess asked for you by name. She said you were best suited to helping me work with the guards already out there. Shining’s up north for the week, so it seemed you were the logical choice.” Strong Shield pushed the brim of his helmet back a little.
“Well, it would be nice to get out of the castle for a day. Let me just finish up with these idiots and I’ll be right with you.”
Twenty minutes later, Strong Shield joined me on the landing platform. This was where all the chariots were stored, and where they entered and exited the castle. Settling into a small gold chariot, Strong Shield commanded the two ponies pulling it to take off.
On the journey there, which took about fifteen minutes, the two of us discussed the plan of action. I would be there as the princess’ representative. Once we’d found him, I would confirm whether or not it really was him, and then close the case. It wouldn’t be a long trip. It all just depended on where we found him.
We soon landed and Strong Shield took command of the guards in charge of the mess. Looking at what was left of the road, it was a miracle the two guards pulling the wagon had walked away unhurt. The whole road had been swept away when mud and rocks from the mountainside had started tumbling down. Everything had been pushed down the slope and into the river below.
“Alright, fillies, listen up!” Strong Shield called out. “We’re going to need to dredge the river. This fella is a legal bigwig from the castle. Until he finds and identifies Troubleshoes, I’m afraid we ain’t going home.” There was a groan from the assembled guards at the prospect of extra work that wasn’t soldiering. Still, they all complied. Strong Shield had actually already begun to head down the slope to examine the remains of the wagon. While down there though, something caught his eye. As the guards were heading down to the river with nets, he called up to me.
“Hey, Roger! You should come and see this!” he called out, catching everypony’s attention. Slipping and sliding my way down, and almost falling down a couple of times, I joined Strong Shield at the remains of the prison wagon.
“What is it?” I asked, trying to stay balanced and keep the mud off my suit. Strong Shield gestured to a set of marks in the mud. The hillside had been torn up when the wagon went down it, but this looked off. The marks were at right angles to the other ones. Something had moved sideways along the hill.
“See this?” he asked. “It leads back up to the road. I think he might have escaped before the wagon went in.” My heart jumped a bit. I had considered this a possibility back at the castle, but this wreck was so bad, it was hard to believe anypony could have got out; not even a pony like Troubleshoes.
“Alright,” I said at length. “Let’s go and see if we can talk to the two guards who were pulling the wagon. Maybe they saw something.”
A few minutes later, after scrambling back up the bank, we went over to the small medical tent that had been set up, and went to speak with the two ponies in question. A few interested guards followed us. The ponies quickly snapped to attention when Strong Shield stepped in.
“At ease,” he commanded. The two guards relaxed. “I just need to ask you two a couple of questions about what happened. Did either of you see exactly what happened to Troubleshoes?”
“I did see him kicking at the door for a second,” one of them piped up. “But he wouldn’t have been able to get out. The whole thing was rolling down the hill and covered in liquid mud, and the door was locked tight.”
“You two got away though,” Strong Shield commented.
“Well, yeah. But we were only attached by the harnesses. They have an emergency clasp to undo most of the straps in an accident.” Strong Shield leaned forward.
“That’s interesting. Because you see, down there, we found marks on the ground that suggests somepony pulled themselves along the hillside and up again.” He was just about to continue when we were interrupted by one of the guards from the river.
“Captain Strong Shield, sir. We found this a little ways along the bank.” The pegasus hoofed over a set of large metal hoof cuffs. Empty and unlocked I might add. I briefly took the reins from Strong Shield, playing an act a bit.
“Oh. Wow. Gee Whiz. Looky here,” I said theatrically, examining the cuffs. “You know we're always fascinated when we find leg irons with no legs in them.” I turned to the two guards. “Who held the keys?”
“Me,” the first guard replied, confused.
“Where are they?” The guard checked his belt, but didn’t seem able to find them.
“I don’t know. I had them right here with me. They must have come off in the fall.” Now I knew for certain that Troubleshoes was out and away.
“Care to revise your statement, corporal?” Strong Shield asked.
“Er, what?” the guard asked.
“Do you want to change your load of horseapples story?” I elaborated. For effect I fished a photograph of Troubleshoes out of my briefcase and held it up for him.
“He might have got out,” the guard mumbled. Strong Shield rolled his eyes.
“’He might have got out’?” I echoed. Now we definitely had a situation on our hands. A fugitive. Authority now passed to myself, as this was a legal matter rather than rescue or recovery. With Strong Shield following me, I headed out and had him call all of the assembled guards together. We would need the manpower.
“Everypony, listen up! We now have reason to believe that Troubleshoes survived the crash and has escaped. We have a fugitive. As legal advisor to Her Grand Royal Highness Princess Celestia, I am hereby exercising my authority to re-task you.” The guards all promptly stopped what they were doing and paid attention.
“Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. The average speed of an earth pony, barring injury, over rough ground is about four miles an hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I need from you all now is a search of every store, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, and doghouse in that area. Captain Strong Shield, get on the wire to Canterlot. We need checkpoints on all roads set up at fifteen miles. Our fugitive’s name is Troubleshoes.” Everypony stood where they were, listening.
“Go get him,” I ordered. With Celestia’s authority to my name, the guards quickly set off heading out in multiple directions. He might very well try to head back to Whinnyappolis, and from there head for the Frozen North. Or he might try south; go for Mexicolt or the Badlands. But our best chance to catch him was now, before he had time to get too far away.
Strong Shield and I headed back to the nearest town. Luckily, there was a post office there, so we were able to wire Celestia regarding what had happened. We got a response about five minutes later. Shining was being recalled to Canterlot, pegasi were being drafted to spread the word, and the dragnet I had requested was being thrown out. Now, we had to wait for news; either from the Royal Guard or from the public. Somepony would come across him sooner or later.
Until then though, I had little to do. Lacking either magic or wings I would not be particularly helpful out on the search. I certainly didn’t fancy my chances taking on Troubleshoes; after all, when we had first arrived here, my son had been able to briefly lift me using his own magic when he lost his temper.
As a result, Strong Shield, myself, and a few other guards turned the small post office into a makeshift ‘command post’ as the old guard called it. A home base, if you will. We borrowed their telegraph to stay in touch with other towns along the routes Troubleshoes might take. Reports had slowly been coming in of the various roadblocks and checkpoints that had been set up.
We had been rather hopeful that this would be a quick recapture. Troubleshoes didn’t have much in the way of a head start, and we had ponies on the ground and in the air. If he ran, we ought to have been able to overhaul him, and if he hid, we would have been able to find him. After two hours however with no word, it became clear that the blighter had slipped through the net.
“Well, now what? Wait and see if he tries to run a checkpoint?” Strong Shield asked. I was busy thinking. Until we found some trace of him, we didn’t know which direction he was heading; north or south. North was more likely, since that led away from major population centres and was a shorter route. We just needed to find something to go on, something to pick up the trail.
Our prayers were answered about twenty minutes later when we received a message from one of the checkpoints. Troubleshoes hadn’t got past them, but a mare had come running up to them, saying she caught a pony stealing food from her garden. It was a small homestead a little ways up the river from Ponyville, near the base of the Canterhorn.
Like I said, it was more likely that he would head south.
The one good thing about Troubleshoes, is that he isn’t exactly inconspicuous, so we didn’t have to worry about false sightings. I quickly had Strong Shield gather the guards up again.
“Alright, everypony. We just got word Troubleshoes was spotted stealing from some poor mare’s garden.” He evidently knew what he was doing to an extent; stocking up on food would allow him to avoid towns. “By the looks of things, he’s looking to skirt the major towns, swing around the Canterhorn, and head south towards Appleloosa and Dodge Junction.” I pointed at the settlements in question on the large map of Equestria that sat on the far wall of the post office. Strong Shield continued.
“The good news is,” he said. “Is that in order to bypass Ponyville, Troubleshoes will have to cross the river. And the only safe way to do that north of Ponyville is to cut across the dam.”
As a way of generating electricity for the valley and Canterlot itself, the river that eventually fed into the Everfree passed through a hydroelectric dam. Considering their typically less technologically advanced nature, this was quite a feat for the ponies. It also gave us a choke point in which we could trap Troubleshoes. When he first escaped, he had a good amount of open ground to flee to. But this dam was confined and narrow, with only one tunnel letting ponies across it; a railway tunnel.
“If we can catch him while he’s in the tunnel, then he’ll have nowhere to go,” I said. “I’ve already sent word up to Canterlot; all trains along the mainline are being stopped.” The last thing we wanted was for Troubleshoes to get lucky and hitch a ride on a southbound train before we could grab him. I turned back to Strong Shield.
“Alright, fillies. Load up, and let’s get moving!”
It was decided that it would be the best use of the resources we had, to lay a trap for Troubleshoes. The dam was a perfect place where we could block him in and capture him, without putting anypony else in unnecessary danger. The only way across the dam was by the railway tunnel which ran through it. Ponies were not supposed to cross the line, for obvious reasons, but it was possible. A path for repair gangs ran alongside the track, dotted with manholes. Thus, there was a good chance Troubleshoes could get through. If he did, he’d be over the river, and out in open country.
Being closer to Canterlot, we’d received a few more guards to help with the hunt. The signal box up in Canterlot had set all the signals between Ponyville and Canterlot to danger, stopping all the trains. I’d say we now had a decent chance of catching him.
Strong Shield and I, along with a few other guards, set up shop in the control room of the main dam complex. Perched on the top of the structure, it allowed us to look down on the railway, without being observed. We were planning on using this as a way to spot Troubleshoes without him spotting us. After all, for our plan to work, he needed to go into the tunnel.
We’d now been sitting here for over an hour. I was starting to think that he wasn’t coming. Perhaps we’d been wrong? Maybe he’d deliberately gotten himself spotted to fool us? It would certainly be a blow if it came to light that he’d duped us, again. I was startled out of my thoughts by Strong Shield.
“Look! There he is!” he said excitedly, pointing far down below. Getting up from the desk I was sitting at, I joined him at the large, panoramic window. Squinting a little (my eyes are starting to play up, I need glasses for reading in any case), I saw the large Clydesdale stallion far below.
“Quick, get that signal torch ready!” I ordered. We had something of an ambush set up around the dam. There were two teams of guards, one on each end of the tunnel, well concealed. The plan was that once Troubleshoes went into the tunnel, we’d use a torch, or flashlight as they all insisted on calling it, to signal both groups to head into the tunnel. We’d then catch Troubleshoes in a pincer, leaving him nowhere to go.
“Wait for it,” Strong Shield warned, still watching the stallion below. Troubleshoes was evidently cautious. He was looking around, searching. Presumably, he was looking for us, or any sign of a pursuit.
“Come on, come on,” I muttered, egging him on. Finally, with one last careful glance around, Troubleshoes headed into the tunnel. “Alright now, now, now!” I called.
“Come on, get that light going!” Strong Shield added. The changeling turned guard quickly seized the light in his magic and began waving it frantically, first on one side of the room, and then out the other side.
The reaction was almost immediate, dozens of gold and blue, and grey and silver spots appeared from bushes and trees around each tunnel entrance. They quickly tore inside, even up here, we could hear shouting for Troubleshoes to surrender.
“Right c’mon; let’s go!” Strong Shield said excitedly, adrenaline rushing at the imminent capture. The four of us ran out of the small office and began to all but jump down the metal stairs to the ground level. Reaching the soft grass again, we all hurried into the tunnel, following the wave of guards.
Running as fast as I could to keep up with the ponies, I cursed my lack of recent exercise. Getting into my mid-fifties I simply wasn’t up for running that much. Hell, by the time we hit the first manhole, I was already getting a stitch.
The tunnel echoed with shouted cries of ‘Royal Guard! Stay where you are!’ and other short phrases imploring Troubleshoes to give up without a fight. However, as I ran, one thing struck me as odd. The tunnel was almost straight; you could see the guards coming the other way quite clearly. What I couldn’t see was Troubleshoes. Even in this light, I ought to have been able to see the massive brute.
As we neared each other though, I feared that we may have blown our chance. That fear was confirmed when the two packs of guards met in the middle. And there was no Troubleshoes to be found.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Strong Shield muttered, before raising his voice. “You have got to be kidding me! Where the hay is this idiot! You guys get him?”
“We got nothing, sir,” one of the guards called back.
“Well where the hay did he go?! He’s not Celestia damned Hoofdini!” The guards all quickly backed away and started working their way back along the tunnel. Seeing as there was little else to do, I joined in to help.
The tunnel was quite unremarkable in design. A long concrete passage, with a few lights here and there, as well as some drains to help keep the line from flooding when rainfall came down from Canterlot. Other than that, there was nothing.
The only remarkable thing was that one of the drain covers was slightly disturbed; having been forced out of its usual flush position. It now rested awkwardly, rocking back and forth in the wind. I was about to discard it when my ears picked up on something. A faint sound of splashing. Initially, I thought it was just run off water from the damn below us, but it didn’t sound quite right.
“Hey, hey, everypony. Quiet a minute,” I called out. But over the general noise of the other guards, it was hard to be heard. Luckily, Strong Shield saw that I had found something and brought out his own sergeant major voice.
“QUIET! Everypony, be quiet,” he ordered. With this newfound silence, we all listened. There was indeed a splashing sound. But it wasn’t regular, and it was getting fainter, moving away. Quickly, Strong Shield and a few others surrounded the grating, before Strong Shield cast it aside with his magic. Now, we could hear the sound of hooves splashing clearly. Strong Shield let himself smile.
“We got a gofer.” He, along with myself and a few other guards, then dived into the drain pipe.
The drain, unfortunately for me, was not particularly tall. For the ponies that were with me, it was no issue, although taller ponies such as Strong Shield found it necessary to duck a little. Me on the other hand, I was virtually doubled over in order to avoid hitting the ceiling. For the most part, Equestria is quite accommodating to someone of my height; 5’11 in Equestria is quite tall after all. However, there are times where it can be difficult. Trains, closed carriages, tables, countertops and so on, tend to be just a little too low for me. It seems this extended to drain pipes.
Still, there was no time to complain. Troubleshoes was perhaps no more than fifty yards ahead of us. The trouble was that, due to the confined space, and the constant echo of our voices and the splashing water, it was difficult to work out where he had gone. We didn’t really know where we were going, for all I knew, this tunnel was a dead end around the next corner.
The four of us who had leapt into the pipe finally reached a fork in the line. Still unable to work out where Troubleshoes was, we were left with an even chance. Troubleshoes had to have gone one way or the other.
“Alright, alright. You two, head right! Roger, you stay with me!” Strong Shield ordered, making a snap decision. Our group quickly split up, with myself actually taking the lead as we followed the pipe.
At length, I began to notice that it was getting lighter in the tunnel. We had to be coming up on an exit. I just hoped that we had actually followed Troubleshoes, and that he hadn’t escaped through the exit. Rounding the last corner, fortune swung in our favour. There was Troubleshoes, standing on the proverbial, and literal, precipice. This drain pipe evidently led out of the dam, and right back into the river. At a rough guess, the drop had to be the better part of a hundred and fifty feet to the river below. He had nowhere to go.
“Troubleshoes!” I bellowed, catching the stallion’s attention. Troubleshoes briefly threw up his hooves in a gesture of surrender. Inwardly, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Turn around! Lie down on the ground! Hooves behind your head!” This would make it easier for Strong Shield to restrain him. Troubleshoes however, didn’t move, only glancing at the water.
“Troubleshoes, do you want to get shot?” I warned. Strong Shield lit his horn up, solidifying my threat. “Get down on your knees! Right now!” I could see the desperation in his eyes. There was nowhere for him to go though. Finally, in a deep southern voice, Troubleshoes spoke.
“Ah didn’t wreck those rodeos!” he called over the sound of rushing water.
“I don’t care!” I answered. Regardless of his guilt, he was wanted for questioning; we had to bring him in. Guilt would be determined later.
It seemed though, that that was enough to push him over the edge. With almost no warning, the stallion walked to the edge of the pipe, took a breath, and jumped. Both Strong Shield and I made an attempt to grab him, but he was long gone. Looking down below, I lost him in the spray.
“Sweet Celestia!” Strong Shield exclaimed. At that moment, the other two guards, who had evidently realised that they had gone the wrong way, joined us.
“Captain, Mr. Owen, what happened? Where’s Troubleshoes?” one of them asked.
“The guy did a Peter Pan right here off of this dam, right here,” I replied.
“Wow!” one of them exclaimed. Strong Shield was still looking down.
“Yeah, boom!” I added, quite shaken up myself. Strong Shield, having satisfied himself that Troubleshoes had kicked the bucket, turned to me. After all, ending things was my call.
“Okay, can we go home now?” he enquired.
“No!” I shook my head emphatically. “No.” Go home? Hell no! This whole mess started because we thought he was dead. We had probably lost him, but we could still let others take up the search; maybe even make him think that he got away.
Just to be safe, we did do a search at the bottom of the dam, including airborne pegasi but we found nothing. With the exception of myself, everypony agreed that Troubleshoes was undeniably now fish food. If he had survived, by now the river would have carried him far away from Ponyville. So, I agreed to call a temporary halt.
We finally returned to Canterlot just as it was dropping dark. I delivered my report to Celestia, who was just about to lower the sun. I stated my belief that Troubleshoes might have survived the fall, given that we found no body, and his previous success at surviving a serious accident.
Unwilling to let me continue tearing around Equestria after him, Celestia decided to pass matters of to the sheriff down in Appleloosa, as well as the Appleloosian Rangers. They were skilled trackers and could raise posses to go after Troubleshoes should he ever show up down there. With that decision, the case left my desk. Or rather, it went to the archives, marked as ‘Unsolved’.
And that was the closest I came to making a fugitive arrest.