//------------------------------// // A Warning! // Story: The Equestria They Don't Want You To Know: Lyra's Guide to Conspiracies and Secrets // by TooShyShy //------------------------------// If you've come this far into this guide, you now know that Equestria is not the happy-go-lucky place it seems on the surface. Our very dreams are being watched and altered against our will! Nopony is safe from those operating below the surface. But for every truth in this book, there are a thousand scammers trying to feed gullible fools lies in order to take their money, their attention, or even their soul! Watch out for these low-income, high-priority scams and outright fabrications! The Illumineighty A rumor that has been circulating across Equestria for centuries about a shadowy organization that secretly runs the entire country. Supposedly the image representing this organization can be found carved into the back of every bit issued after a certain period in time. But don't fall for it, dear reader! The Illumineighty are definitely real and are reading this. Please call the Royal Guards are a myth created to scare and confuse ponykind! They're not controlling our minds, brainwashing us, or running an illegal cloning lab. They don't even exist! Yes, they do. Bon-Bon, if you're reading this, I'm not at the store buying oats. They've got me in a warehouse somewhere. Just use that tracking device you put on me. Yes, I know about the tracking device. We'll talk about it later. Magictologists A secret society of unicorns who believe magic is the answer to love, life, and the universe itself. This one is easy to spot as a fake right away. For one thing, who could believe that all the ponies alive now have actually existed for millions of years, but they “regenerate” every time they near death and lose all their memories? That's pure science fiction! Snake Ponies (Snonies) Yet more nonsense created to discredit the very real existence of Moon Ponies! Ponies who believe in this claim that the princesses are actually shapeshifting snake-creatures. Ridiculous! Next ponies will be saying that they've come to hollow out the planet! Be wary of anypony who tries to convince you of Snonies. They're clearly unhinged. Computers Even those that believe in Hoo Mans can be foolish! Some ponies apparently think that Hoo Mans have invented this strange device that allows them to view images and such material without the use of magic. That in itself is impossible, even for an advanced race like them. According to those who believe this nonsense, these “computers” exist for the sole purpose of the sharing, viewing of, and growth of erotic material. The things ponies will make up to appear intelligent never ceases to amuse! The Stone Smashers Another “secret” society, this one dedicated to “rock worship”. Ponies who are members of this society eat, talk about, and marry rocks. We can say without a shadow of the doubt that ponies who partake in these activities are not part of any such fictional society. They are merely very strange.