I know I said my family and I live in Canterlot, but in reality, we only officially live there. Our house is a little bit outside the city in the woods on the mountain. When I'm not doing school work, I love to step out of the house and run around out there. It's a place in where I can imagine I'm somepony else. A beautiful mare, possibly a princess, greeted by guards that stand as tall as trees, because, well, they are trees, but I like to pretend they're not. Suddenly, I'll trip and fall into the grasp of one such guard, looking into his dark wooden brown eyes. But I NEVER go for the kiss, I learned my lesson once and I will never need to again. Sometimes I'll just sit at some trees, and it's relaxing.
Every once in a while, I wonder what it would be like to be a stallion perfectly comfortable with his body. I sometimes wish my mind was right and I was sure about who I was. Every time that happens, I try and push those thoughts out. Who would I be if I were secure? Would I be the same pony? Trick question, I would probably be a real mare. I want to get back to imagining now... so I don't have to tell you more about my imagination. Getting a little bit meta, here...
I walked my way to a patch of sun within the trees. I had claimed this spot when we moved here, it was like my little escape from the world where I could bathe in the warm light of the beautiful star Princess Celestia lifts up every day. Part of why I'd come to hate the winter is that it was cold, even in this spot. I rolled over onto my back in the middle of the sanctuary of comfortable warmth and giggled slightly as I watched a few small animals scurry around. Rabbits hopped around on the ground as squirrels scurried from tree to tree. I watched a bright red cardinal fly and land on a tree branch. I was jealous of it, cardinals were all pretty, even the males.
I sighed as I turned back over and stood up from the soft grass, my melancholy gaze shifting from the cardinal to an old barn I hadn't seen before. I wondered how I hadn't gotten to looking directly at it before now. It's not like there was anything particularly interesting or distracting about our old, creaky house in the woods. I looked down as I walked, noticing a few tree stumps seemingly freshly chopped. When I reached the large double doors of the barn. I noticed the padlock on the latch. Using my magic to pull on it, I easily broke its rusted bolt straight off. The thing was probably left here for almost thirty years. I carefully slid the broken lock bolt out and unlatched the doors. Swinging one partiality open with an ominous creak, I stuck my head inside to look around. There was a sizeable hole rusted in the tin roof that let enough light in for me to see clearly.
I walked in, looking at old decrepit machinery and tools, with large spots of rust that seemed to be almost consuming some of them. Everything looked surreal to me. It was almost like somepony had been actively working on the tractor parked to the side years ago and just randomly decided to leave. I pulled the faded blue tarp off of a large object to reveal an old pickup truck. This, unlike the other things had not been horribly damaged by time. Its tires were flat and it needed a lot of work, but I thought I had discovered my first automobile. I rubbed some of the dust off the driver side window to see keys in the ignition. I was sure there had to be corrosion and other kinds of problems with the truck as well. When I popped the hood, I heard rustling, and a raccoon scurried out from under the vehicle and out of a hole in the small building.
I tried turning the key, but alas, I wasn't going to be that lucky. Not that I was surprised it was in such a state of disrepair that it wouldn't run. I had a start to a vehicle, though. That was more than I could say about my past experiences. I knew that it would require a lot of work, but I wanted a way to move out. I had gotten into a relationship with a stallion online, and I thought that maybe I could meet him again and pick him up from his also less than hospitable household and we could live happily somewhere else with each other. All I had to do was get this old truck fixed up, which may have been more than I thought I was getting myself into.
Later on, I was eating diner with my parents. We were eating a delicious quiche. If there was one good thing to say about my parents, it was that they knew how to cook. We ate silently, and it was almost painful how quiet we were.
Finally, I broke the silence, "Found an old barn out in the woods today."
"Oh yeah? Find anything in it?" Asked my dad.
I nodded, "There's a lot of old tools in it. Most of them are too rusty to use. A broken tractor is on one side. It looked like the previous owners were fixing it up. On the other side, there's an old pickup truck that's in fairly good shape."
"Well, you've been looking for a vehicle to drive to work. Guess you found one." He replied.
I shook my head, "No, I can't drive it to work without fixing its problems. I tried to start it but I just heard a click. I looked under the hood, but I don't really know anything about how it's set up."
"Was there a manual for it?"
"I don't know, I figured if there were, it would be unreadable at this point, but I'll look tomorrow."
Soon, I finished my food and got ready for bed. I starred at my ceiling, tears flowing from my sadened eyes as I listened to my parents ranting about transgender ponies becoming more common. It wasn't an uncommon topic to hear them talk about since the recent bathroom drama. I heard them talk about how those individuals need to finally wake up and accept that they'll never be the ponies they want to be. I closed my eyes and turned onto my side as their conversation paused.
I sofly whispered through my tears, "Easier said than done..."
The next morning, I got up early, the sun was barely out, but I walked to my sun spot, already flooded with beautiful warm light. Looking forward, I spotted the barn and walked back to it. I opened the door to see the water retardant cloth back over the pickup, just as I had left it. I lifted up half of it, folding it onto the other side of the metal vehicle. Opening the passenger side door, I took a peek into the glove compartment and to my surprise, the truck's manual was in pristine condition, protected from the elements within the small pickup. I closed the compartment and stepped out. When I shut the door, an object obscuring the light of a window caught my view.
The black static object startled me at first. It was a rope hanging from a pulley on the rafters. It was tied into a loop. The black ring of tied together fibers was mildly terrifying, but oddly desirable. It was almost like it was beckoning me to come closer. I almost felt as if it would end my struggles to climb up and slide it on for a while. I shuddered at my own thoughts, looking down at the ground and shivering. My breathing was erratic and my heart was racing. I shook my head, controlling my breathing and feeling the pounding in my chest ease up.
I looked at my phone to see the time. I was glad I did, because it was already 7:30, I had to meet my mom so she could drop me off at work. I rushed out, latching the door and applying my own lock before pocketing the key and rushing back to the house. I didn't fail to grab the manual so I could take it to the auto parts store a few doors down from the restaurant I had gotten a job at.